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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 867Posts
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    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 33
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 28th Nov 17, 9:09 AM
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    debtaghh
    I apologise in advance for the moany post.

    I’m feeling really fed up and like I’m suffocating with debt. I’m starting to get really annoyed with my dh. I don’t feel he is supportive over our debt. He knows that we don’t have money so doesn’t spend but he has nothing to do with our finances. He doesn’t know how much our debt is ( has a rough idea) if I ask him for his opinion on a transfer or I discuss our debt , he just says what do you want me to say, I’m numb about it all. I just feel this is putting a lot of pressure on me. I really have had enough , we rent but I’m conatantly worried if we get given our notice that we will be in an even worse position as it would mean we would need another car, pay more rent, moving fees etc. We can’t cope as it is let alone any changes for the worse. No one knows the amount of debt we have so just feel like it’s all on me. As you can probably tell from my constant up and down posts , I have depression and I’m just sick of this debt. I really can’t see things improving for such a long time and I hate it as I feel I can’t enjoy my children. I used to love Xmas but this is the first year that I feel so negative and I think it’s purely down to the money.

    Sorry for the moan but wanted to get it off my chest.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • MrsSave
    • By MrsSave 28th Nov 17, 9:41 AM
    • 1,362 Posts
    • 4,261 Thanks
    MrsSave
    I'm sorry you're feeling so low about it.

    Practically, have you completed an soa? Post one on here, it may help. Have you considered a dmp? Or spoken with cab or one of the debt charaties to see what they advise. If you've always been dealing with it, then it's easy for your husband to bury his head in the sand. My husband doesn't have much of a clue financially. He's getting better, but has generally always let me deal with things.

    Maybe you need to have a sit down with him, with all your income, outgoings and debts so that he sees in black and white the actual situation. Then together come up with a plan of action. Explain to him how you feel and that you need help.

    You've knocked over £2000 off your debts in the last month, that's fantastic. If you were to carry on like that you'd clear your debts in less than 4 years (if they are all at 0%). With your level of debt, that would be such a fantastic achievement.
    YNAB - one of my favourite money saving tools
    Check out my debt free diary 'Mrs S, family life and debt' below:
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 28th Nov 17, 10:48 AM
    • 867 Posts
    • 2,402 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I'm sorry you're feeling so low about it.

    Practically, have you completed an soa? Post one on here, it may help. Have you considered a dmp? Or spoken with cab or one of the debt charaties to see what they advise. If you've always been dealing with it, then it's easy for your husband to bury his head in the sand. My husband doesn't have much of a clue financially. He's getting better, but has generally always let me deal with things.

    Maybe you need to have a sit down with him, with all your income, outgoings and debts so that he sees in black and white the actual situation. Then together come up with a plan of action. Explain to him how you feel and that you need help.

    You've knocked over £2000 off your debts in the last month, that's fantastic. If you were to carry on like that you'd clear your debts in less than 4 years (if they are all at 0%). With your level of debt, that would be such a fantastic achievement.
    Originally posted by MrsSave
    Thanks for your reply. Iíve posted a soa a while ago. We canít do an Iva or dmp due to renting as where we live there is a shortage of houses so would give us less chance of getting a house.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 28th Nov 17, 6:08 PM
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    debtaghh
    Sorry for the negative post earlier.

    If I look at the positives I have cleared some debt as well as buying a new phone, laptop , Xmas presents plus we have some savings. Hopefully we can clear a decent amount soon to help reduce our monthlyís. I need to be more positive!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 29th Nov 17, 6:23 AM
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    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I have given myself a little talking too and told myself to stop moaning and to get on with it. Yes the debt will take a long time to clear but I need to not focus on that. Debt wise Iím going to focus on clearing my Tesco cc ASAP and then Nuba.

    Today I need to :

    Look at finances and see if I can clear a bit more of the Tesco cc.
    Re look at monthly budget from Jan to see how I can make it more realistic.
    Redo meal plan
    Decide on online shop with voucher
    Bathroom surfaces

    I cancelled the turkey!

    I counted my coins jar yesterday and I have just over £80 which Iím pleased with.

    Hope everyone has a lovely day
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 29th Nov 17, 10:03 AM
    • 4,852 Posts
    • 9,174 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I think you need to lay it on the line with your DH as to the exact amount of your debt. Shouldering this alone is not helping you and whereas you say he is good at not overspending the debt was accumulated jointly and should be repaid as a team. Sometimes having another set of eyes on the expenditure means you can support each other which may help you feel less depressed.

    I have noticed that ever since August you are really trying to reduce the expenditure but this will be a slow process due to income and high debt but it is coming down and you are making sensible choices. Keep going and as it becomes second nature to be more careful it will weigh less heavy on your mind. I know how frustrating it is to watch every penny and worry every time you have a spendy weekend or car mot due but if you continue along this path eventually you will get there. Just think of the debt as a lake you are emptying with a teaspoon in that it is slow and steady that produces results.
    1 week to go until early retirement. Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 29th Nov 17, 10:26 AM
    • 867 Posts
    • 2,402 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I think you need to lay it on the line with your DH as to the exact amount of your debt. Shouldering this alone is not helping you and whereas you say he is good at not overspending the debt was accumulated jointly and should be repaid as a team. Sometimes having another set of eyes on the expenditure means you can support each other which may help you feel less depressed.

    I have noticed that ever since August you are really trying to reduce the expenditure but this will be a slow process due to income and high debt but it is coming down and you are making sensible choices. Keep going and as it becomes second nature to be more careful it will weigh less heavy on your mind. I know how frustrating it is to watch every penny and worry every time you have a spendy weekend or car mot due but if you continue along this path eventually you will get there. Just think of the debt as a lake you are emptying with a teaspoon in that it is slow and steady that produces results.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks. I love your comparison to a lake and a teaspoon as itís so accurate!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 29th Nov 17, 12:20 PM
    • 4,852 Posts
    • 9,174 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    There is a diary somewhere with someone who had a £100k of unsecured debt and eventually paid it off and they used the analogy of the lake being emptied with a teaspoon.

    Of course another issue you have is the rent is approximately half of your DHs income so very high in comparison to wages. It is generally accepted that housing costs should not be more than 30% of income although in London this is stretched to the limit by a lot of people and I am sure one of the prime reasons for your debt in the first place. I am guessing you live in London or the South East which is phenomenally expensive? Any chance at some point of moving to a cheaper area as this will also make it easier for you to buy at some point when the debt has gone down and cheaper rent will make it easier to deal with the debt? It does involve costs of course but the savings on rent may still make it worthwhile. I know this is something you have resisted before but long term it make make the best sense for you if you are unable to get work.

    The biggest issue you would have is travel to work for your DH and school for your kids so I understand this may not be doable.
    1 week to go until early retirement. Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 29th Nov 17, 12:26 PM
    • 867 Posts
    • 2,402 Thanks
    debtaghh
    There is a diary somewhere with someone who had a £100k of unsecured debt and eventually paid it off and they used the analogy of the lake being emptied with a teaspoon.

    Of course another issue you have is the rent is approximately half of your DHs income so very high in comparison to wages. It is generally accepted that housing costs should not be more than 30% of income although in London this is stretched to the limit by a lot of people and I am sure one of the prime reasons for your debt in the first place. I am guessing you live in London or the South East which is phenomenally expensive? Any chance at some point of moving to a cheaper area as this will also make it easier for you to buy at some point when the debt has gone down and cheaper rent will make it easier to deal with the debt? It does involve costs of course but the savings on rent may still make it worthwhile. I know this is something you have resisted before but long term it make make the best sense for you if you are unable to get work.

    The biggest issue you would have is travel to work for your DH and school for your kids so I understand this may not be doable.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    We are very near London. We are considering to move but my dd is in her gcse year so will have to wait for them to finish but she is very reluctant to move for a levels. The long term plan is to move areas as itís too expensive where we live. My dh could potentially get a transfer or do the commute.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 29th Nov 17, 1:47 PM
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    debtaghh
    Ok so just when I start to think I’ll sort my finances out I’ve just received a letter in the post saying the minimum is going up from end of Jan to 2.25% plus interest meaning instead of paying £50 I’ll be paying nearly £250 minimum!!!! The same will prob happen to my dh’s cc which will mean £400 extra on minimums. Whilst I apreciate the debt will get cleared quicker, things were tight as it was let alone £400 more per month!
    Last edited by debtaghh; 29-11-2017 at 1:59 PM.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 29th Nov 17, 2:12 PM
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    • 9,174 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Which credit card company is that?
    1 week to go until early retirement. Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 29th Nov 17, 2:27 PM
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    • 2,402 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Which credit card company is that?
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    Barclaycard
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 29th Nov 17, 2:38 PM
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    • 9,174 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    It looks like they "temporarily" reduced their minimums back in 2009 from 2.25% plus interest to 1.5% plus interest and have come under pressure to bring them back in line. Are you paying minimums on all your cards? If not you may have to redirect any spare to the Barclaycards but I seem to recall a lot of your credit card debt was with them?

    Sorry, I guess this is not what you need right at this moment with money so tight but long term low minimums keep people in debt for decades .
    1 week to go until early retirement. Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 29th Nov 17, 2:43 PM
    • 867 Posts
    • 2,402 Thanks
    debtaghh
    It looks like they "temporarily" reduced their minimums back in 2009 from 2.25% plus interest to 1.5% plus interest and have come under pressure to bring them back in line. Are you paying minimums on all your cards? If not you may have to redirect any spare to the Barclaycards but I seem to recall a lot of your credit card debt was with them?

    Sorry, I guess this is not what you need right at this moment with money so tight but long term low minimums keep people in debt for decades .
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    I have two barclaycards and Iíve been paying 2.25 on one but 0.25% plus interest on the other one. I have a balance of just under 10k on this one and under 5k on the one I was paying 2.25% already. Iím assuming my dh will also have to start paying this new minimum rate and his balance is just under £11k. I really donít know what we will do as we canít get a new cc as we have too much credit. We have approx £20k coming off deals next July.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 29th Nov 17, 2:57 PM
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    • 9,174 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    you could try ringing and pleading financial hardship to see if there is any way they could maybe accept 1% plus interest. I did not realise your minimum was as low as 0.25 plus interest. That is awful as you would have been forced to deal with this much earlier when presumably the debt was lower.

    I do wonder if speaking to stepchange may be the way forward although I know you are reluctant to consider DMPs. Are you still job hunting?
    1 week to go until early retirement. Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 29th Nov 17, 3:39 PM
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    • 2,402 Thanks
    debtaghh
    you could try ringing and pleading financial hardship to see if there is any way they could maybe accept 1% plus interest. I did not realise your minimum was as low as 0.25 plus interest. That is awful as you would have been forced to deal with this much earlier when presumably the debt was lower.

    I do wonder if speaking to stepchange may be the way forward although I know you are reluctant to consider DMPs. Are you still job hunting?
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    The only reason Iím reluctant of a dmp is due to the housing situation. Iím not job hunting due to childcare costs and my mental health , Iíve been referred to a psychologist so will see what they say. Iím still trying to do surveys and my business and I have this adhoc job that Iím doing.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 29th Nov 17, 8:36 PM
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    • 2,402 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I rang barclaycard and they can set me up on a payment solution but it will mean bad credit and 0% deals ending . Aparently all credit cards will do this, has anyone heard this? Iíve tried looking it up but I canít see anything about increased minimums.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 29th Nov 17, 10:30 PM
    • 4,852 Posts
    • 9,174 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/cards/2009/11/barclaycard-to-fix-minimum-payment-blunder

    It looks like the 0.25% minimum payment was supposed to be temporary. I never heard of a minimum as low as that before. Yes any payment solution will show on your credit history. Have you got other cards with 1% minimums with any space on them?
    1 week to go until early retirement. Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • Little Miss Winner
    • By Little Miss Winner 30th Nov 17, 1:05 AM
    • 3,966 Posts
    • 135,920 Thanks
    Little Miss Winner
    Just managed to catch up with your diary..

    Have subscribed
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 30th Nov 17, 1:19 AM
    • 867 Posts
    • 2,402 Thanks
    debtaghh
    https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/cards/2009/11/barclaycard-to-fix-minimum-payment-blunder

    It looks like the 0.25% minimum payment was supposed to be temporary. I never heard of a minimum as low as that before. Yes any payment solution will show on your credit history. Have you got other cards with 1% minimums with any space on them?
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    I didnít realise it was a glitch or temporary. I have got space on my Tesco ( not for the full amount) but Iíll end up paying interest plus the person at barclaycard implied that all credit cards were going to increase their minimum to 2.25%.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47, 520 , Family £ 37,288 total debt £84,808
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