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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 778Posts
    • 2,279Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 23
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 4th Sep 17, 12:14 PM
    • 4,674 Posts
    • 8,843 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Yes she will be and she makes out that her friends have parties and loads of big presents etc
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    No doubt some of them do but there is no saying whether parents get into debt for it or if they can actually afford it.

    Getting your daughter used to expecting material goods/expensive parties when you can't afford it leads to misery for you when you have to juggle money and gives the message to her that spending regardless is ok.

    There are so many on this forum who either never managed to master budgeting in young adulthood because their parents never said no to them or they came from wealthy families who did not set boundaries and led to expectations of lifestyles they now cannot afford.

    It is not a good message to give children that there is limitless money around. Set a good example to her so her life will not be controlled by debt as yours is at the moment.
    4 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 4th Sep 17, 12:18 PM
    • 4,674 Posts
    • 8,843 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I would also encourage her to get a weekend job to earn her own money when she is 16 so she learns it doesn't grow on trees. My own daughters from 16 did paper rounds after school, caravan cleaning at weekends, shop work, waitressing. They did this from 16 to when they left uni and now looking back they say they are glad we pushed them to do it. It gave them a strong work ethic, they learnt how hard they had to work to earn £7 an hour at the time and they learnt to budget with their own money. Priceless lessons and now they are young adults, financially secure with their own homes. We could afford to give them pocket money but felt they would benefit from joining the workplace sooner rather than later. My dad did the same with me and my siblings.
    4 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Sep 17, 12:39 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I completely agree and have told her clearly to not expect a party etc. We tell her all the time about the value of money and she has a very small job but has been saving towards a big item. I'm also going to give her pocket money but have made it clear that is to cover all none essentials , I'm hoping this will help to teach her the value of money.

    I have mentioned getting another job but not sure that will happen!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 4th Sep 17, 12:52 PM
    • 789 Posts
    • 3,791 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I concur with enthusiastic saver , my 2 both had jobs from 16 all through uni. It definitely set them on the right road.

    My daughter had a pamper party when was 16 for her and 3 friends , she loved it .
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Sep 17, 12:57 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I agree, I had a job from the age of 14.

    Pamper party sound great!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 4th Sep 17, 5:46 PM
    • 4,674 Posts
    • 8,843 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    A pamper party sounds great to me as well. Just a few close friends and some food and drink should not break the bank. Both mine had small parties - just 5 or 6 friends I think and they watched dvds, had food and drink/birthday cake and a sleepover.
    4 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 4th Sep 17, 6:02 PM
    • 789 Posts
    • 3,791 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Glad you like the idea, your daughter could organise it all. It can then be whatever she wants within a budget you set !
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Sep 17, 6:11 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks. How much would you recommend for her presents?
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 4th Sep 17, 6:21 PM
    • 789 Posts
    • 3,791 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    I think that is a hard thing to determine , it is all relative to how much you normally spend on her and what you can realistically afford . Does she know that financially things are tight ? If she has asked for something specific could the cost be shared between you and grandparents if there are any.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Sep 17, 6:30 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    She knows we find things tight but she doesn't know about our debt.

    If I'm being honest I have been spending about £200 on her because we tend to buy her gift cards so she can buy her clothes for the year.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Sep 17, 7:06 AM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I had a bit of a spendy day yesterday. I bought wrapping paper, bday card, toiletries, underwear etc it was all needed but still annoying. I think I may have to use money from my savings to survive until dh next pay day and no more extra payments on the cc unless sales start existing!

    Today I need to:

    Empty the dishwasher
    Put wash on
    Hoover
    Wrap ds presents
    Check finances and work out shortfall for the month
    Request membership for softplay

    Just in case I forget ( tomorrow):

    Submit tax return
    Claim ppi for account fees
    Look at Equifax at all ccs we have had and ask about ppi including previous mortgage
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 6th Sep 17, 4:20 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    All of today's jobs are done and shortfall is not looking good
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 7th Sep 17, 9:24 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi,

    Three loads of washing done, beds changed , equifax checked and two applications for ppi made. We are not sure if we paid ppi but thought it was worth a try. We made lots of calls today but no ppi was on them. I made a sale on eBay last night and claimed survey money. That's about £25 to help my shortfall. I didn't get a chance to submit my tax return.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Sep 17, 6:25 AM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I need to check the finances and play around with the meal plan. I feel like I haven't made a payment on the cc in ages! I need to post two important letters. More washing needs doing as does the hoovering and mopping. I need to buy two presents online.

    I'm quite pleased as I did a deal a few weeks ago where if you spend £60 online at Sainsbury's you get £30 at Argos and I was luckily one of the 500 people who managed to get it. I made a point of buying only certain products that were on offer from Sainsbury's. That £30 can go towards Xmas shopping!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 8th Sep 17, 9:52 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Most jobs done and presents bought using the Argos voucher. I'm going to have to use money in savings to survive until next pay day but hoping it be as little as possible!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Sep 17, 12:34 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    So I'm on a day trip and I swear I just saw Martin Lewis!!!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 9th Sep 17, 6:50 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I'm quite pleased that even on a day trip we didn't spend any money as we had entrance paid for and bought lunch with us. It was only the fuel cost, still better than other day trips which would have guaranteed a takeaway on the way home and an extra snack whilst there. We did get soaked though!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Sep 17, 8:06 AM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I have to go food shopping today but will go to Lidl to benefit from the visa offer. I need to wrap a few presents. Am hoping apart from the food shop I won't be spending on anything else. I will try and keep the food shop down but do need quite a few bits.

    Have a lovely day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 11th Sep 17, 5:05 AM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I managed to get the food shopping for £52 with hopefully £10 cashback.

    Today I definitely need to check the accounts and log minimums for next pay day. I need to dust and sort the kitchen out as well as list business items whilst looking for a job.

    Have a good day.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 11th Sep 17, 9:06 PM
    • 778 Posts
    • 2,279 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Several jobs applied for and numerous items listed for my business.

    Feeling a bit frustrated that I can't make any payments on the cc 9 more days until dh payday.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
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