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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 771Posts
    • 2,246Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 £240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 14
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Jul 17, 7:49 PM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi,

    I spent £2 on lunch out and was quite pleased with myself. I'm on a day trip tomorrow but have lunch ready. I still feel like I'm just spending at the minute. I hung washing out yesterday and today so that's good.

    I have been offered a 0% for £1k until next October and am wondering whether I should take it up? I would use some to pay the cc I'll be paying interest on, some on new stock to try and start my business back up and some in savings. I know it's not the greatest of ideas but I don't know what else to do. Hopefully more money will start coming in so we can pay more off, meaning less minimums which will then mean our affordability would be better but it's just trying to get to that point!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 10th Jul 17, 7:15 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I've had a bit of a rubbish couple of weeks and haven't felt like writing on here much.

    I've done lots of hanging washing outside and did that money transfer but have paid some off the barclaycard so am saving on interest. I feel less stressed with this money in the account. I've bought ds2 and 3 dd3 their bday presents so just need a few small bits.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 10th Jul 17, 9:06 AM
    • 686 Posts
    • 1,478 Thanks
    reality_check
    Aww hope you feel better soon xx
    Starting debt £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,250
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 10th Jul 17, 9:50 AM
    • 5,354 Posts
    • 18,301 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Morning,

    I've had a bit of a rubbish couple of weeks and haven't felt like writing on here much.

    I've done lots of hanging washing outside and did that money transfer but have paid some off the barclaycard so am saving on interest. I feel less stressed with this money in the account. I've bought ds2 and 3 dd3 their bday presents so just need a few small bits.
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    Morning,

    Hope you feel better soon x
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7100.00 Cap 1: £533.40 BC: £5090.00

    AFD 0/10 NSD 0/10 LTW 0/10

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 16th Jul 17, 7:42 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    Sorry I haven't written much lately but have been through a depressive stage. Debt hasn't gone down and infact looks like we have barely paid anything off since April due to transfers. I have also stopped making overpayments as it was then leaving us short. We went on a day trip yesterday with our membership but between a hot choc and takeaway ( we did bring lunch) we still spent £25. This scared me as it truly showed how the money over the summer will just disappear if we are not careful. My business has been awful but my husband has had more extra work this week which has helped sort all the summer money. September is going to be an awful month financially as we have our tv licence due as well as contents insurance.

    The one positive is I think I have definitely had my ' lightbulb moment' as we had a holiday abroad booked for next year ( didn't pay anything but just reserved it) and I've cancelled it. We also had an expensive break in England booked ( paid the non refundable deposit of over £500!) but we are changing it to a wkend break instead of a week meaning we shouldn't have to pay more than maybe an extra £200 instead of the £1k that it should have been We will look to do something in England for next summer that is a lot more affordable. I've also been thinking how crazy it is to spend £3k that we don't have to go on holiday. We might have fun while we are away but the rest of the year I'm stressed and depressed about money

    I've been trying to hang washing out as much possible but the weather has been a bit up and down here lately. I have also tried to budget, yesterday's spends were allocated but money goes too quick! That does really scare me. How much money do ppl allocate for the summer holidays? 3 chn to entertain and we are going away to a self catering place?

    Have a good day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • chevalier
    • By chevalier 17th Jul 17, 9:00 AM
    • 7,745 Posts
    • 17,997 Thanks
    chevalier
    HI there
    I don't think being on a DMP will affect you renting.
    how about doing the debt remedy on the Stepchange website. You have to put in all your income and outgoings like you might have done already and at the end it will give you a suggestion as to what should be your next steps. There is no pressure and you don't have to agree to anything to use the tool.
    I have a feeling that it will suggest a DMP.
    the other place to look is the DMP supporters thread on here, as they have asked all the questions and share experiences of being on a DMP.

    Re Christmas. Who are you buying for that it costs 1700? I would suggest that you talk to the adults in the family and suggest just buying for children this year. Or tell a white lie and say you are only buying token presents this year as you are trying to save for a deposit for a house?

    good luck
    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 17th Jul 17, 1:39 PM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    HI there
    I don't think being on a DMP will affect you renting.
    how about doing the debt remedy on the Stepchange website. You have to put in all your income and outgoings like you might have done already and at the end it will give you a suggestion as to what should be your next steps. There is no pressure and you don't have to agree to anything to use the tool.
    I have a feeling that it will suggest a DMP.
    the other place to look is the DMP supporters thread on here, as they have asked all the questions and share experiences of being on a DMP.

    Re Christmas. Who are you buying for that it costs 1700? I would suggest that you talk to the adults in the family and suggest just buying for children this year. Or tell a white lie and say you are only buying token presents this year as you are trying to save for a deposit for a house?

    good luck
    chev
    Originally posted by chevalier
    Hi,

    Thanks for your reply. What I mean about the dmp is , won't it show us as having bad credit? If yes due to the competition in our area we could risk losing a property due to that.

    Regarding the presents I've tried so hard talking to my family about cutting back etc and they get funny with me😔. It also includes numerous bdays including Dd1.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • chevalier
    • By chevalier 21st Jul 17, 11:28 PM
    • 7,745 Posts
    • 17,997 Thanks
    chevalier
    I am unsure about the DMP and renting. That is why i suggested going and having a look in the DMP supporters thread. There is also a housing section on here, where again i am sure you could ask this question. Have you done an SOA for on here?

    Here is the link
    http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php


    if you format it for MSE, you can share it on here. Sometimes there is some obvious wood to cut from a budget but we can't see it for the trees so to speak.



    What will it take to make your business more productive. Have you looked at the business network in your area to see if they have any guides for getting more turnover? And also I hate to mention it but you have got money put aside for tax?


    good luck I think you are floundering but there are people on this site who can help. Have a look at the threads and areas I suggested and I hope it will put your mind at ease.


    cheers
    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 22nd Jul 17, 7:25 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I am unsure about the DMP and renting. That is why i suggested going and having a look in the DMP supporters thread. There is also a housing section on here, where again i am sure you could ask this question. Have you done an SOA for on here?

    Here is the link
    http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php


    if you format it for MSE, you can share it on here. Sometimes there is some obvious wood to cut from a budget but we can't see it for the trees so to speak.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really do appreciate it. I will look at those sections and ask the question.

    Regarding the money for tax I don't earn enough to pay tax so don't need to thankfully worry about that.



    What will it take to make your business more productive. Have you looked at the business network in your area to see if they have any guides for getting more turnover? And also I hate to mention it but you have got money put aside for tax?


    good luck I think you are floundering but there are people on this site who can help. Have a look at the threads and areas I suggested and I hope it will put your mind at ease.


    cheers
    chev
    Originally posted by chevalier
    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I will ask the question on the dmp section.

    I don't earn anywhere near enough to pay tax.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 22nd Jul 17, 8:24 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I have also tried doing a SOA but I have the same problem I always have I can't load it onto here. I do it on my phone as it doesn't seem to be compatable with my old laptop.

    If I am being honest you will all say I need to do an IVA or DMP as it shows -£325 per month but I have already mentioned my resevations. Plus to be honest the only areas people will say I can/should cut down on are

    Holidays- I shouldn't have any
    Entertainment- This should be non existent but I do include haircuts, clothing, school trips with this ( basically everything extra)
    presents- I have tried to tell my family can we not do presents but get so much aggro.

    Our internet etc looks more becuase we did the BT deal and got £150 back which is why it looks more than it is.

    Food wise I try an get basics and not eat a lot of meat and shop aroun Lidl, Aldi and Iceland.

    If I am being honest this is really destroying me and I am in bits, I don't know what else to do. I have tried applying for suitable jobs that work around the children and leave me with a couple of hundred after childcare and even got an interview but I didn't get the job. I just don't know what else I can do
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 23rd Jul 17, 7:41 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I'm feeling less sorry for myself today and more proactive.

    I've done money transfers so I have money for things needed for the next year. I know this isn't ideal/ the right thing to do but it's 0% and helps me feel less stressed knowing I have it. My husband and I both agreed it and agreed we would start fresh , so we are logging our debt monthly to ensure we do clear debt over the next year. I've been doing surveys more lately which is good and have a full day of work this week. We had a takeaway last night and decided it was a complete waste of money and it really isn't worth it.

    The holiday that I booked for next year I have managed to change it , it means we get two breaks next year but works out cheaper than the original one. I know this is my biggest issue , I'm so good in most other areas but I feel for the kids.

    Any way let's hope I can stick to my summer budget and we can clear this debt once and for all!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 23rd Jul 17, 7:51 AM
    • 4,358 Posts
    • 13,199 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Glad your feeling brighter this morning.

    Not sure how old your children are but could you look at any free/cheap activities that might be going on in the areas you are taking family breaks. Taking packed lunches/snacks and bottles of drink/flasks of tea or hot choc can cut costs as well. Could you save clubcard vouchers or nectar points and trade them for activities for the areas you are visiting.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 23rd Jul 17, 7:55 AM
    • 5,354 Posts
    • 18,301 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Morning debtaghh,

    You sound a bit more positive this morning

    You have a plan and I'm sure you'll make it work xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7100.00 Cap 1: £533.40 BC: £5090.00

    AFD 0/10 NSD 0/10 LTW 0/10

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 11 2018 #003
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 23rd Jul 17, 7:55 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Glad your feeling brighter this morning.

    Not sure how old your children are but could you look at any free/cheap activities that might be going on in the areas you are taking family breaks. Taking packed lunches/snacks and bottles of drink/flasks of tea or hot choc can cut costs as well. Could you save clubcard vouchers or nectar points and trade them for activities for the areas you are visiting.
    Originally posted by pennywisepoundstupid
    Thanks. I have tried looking for free activities but there doesn't seem like there is much. We get some activities included with our break so will do these ones. I don't really get Tesco or nectar points as I don't really shop there. Me and the kids are going to write a list of free ideas we can do over the summer... baking etc. Let's hope the weather improves compared to yesterday.

    Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 23rd Jul 17, 7:57 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning debtaghh,

    You sound a bit more positive this morning

    You have a plan and I'm sure you'll make it work xx
    Originally posted by Purplemumof2
    Thanks, I think I had a funny couple of weeks due to several reasons and was focussing too much on that. Your thread just reminded me I need to meal plan!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 24th Jul 17, 7:34 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    First official day of the summer holidays! Dd has a friend coming round later so me and ds and dd2 will just have a relaxing day. We did painting and baking at the weekend so may attempt the playdough today.

    To do:

    Check transfer has gone through and do other one
    Ring Sky if channels still not working ( we had cancelled it but then they offered us a really good deal that it worked out cheaper than the alternative)
    Washing
    Sort Ds wardrobe inclu toys
    Meal plan
    Write dd bday card
    Respond to texts
    Clean Mirrors
    Dust
    Sort kitchen out
    Pop to Lidl to buy ds nappies

    I think that's it.

    Have a lovely day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 24th Jul 17, 7:56 AM
    • 5,314 Posts
    • 26,060 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Have a lovely day, glad you're feeling better x
    DFW £1783.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £571.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 24th Jul 17, 8:00 AM
    • 4,358 Posts
    • 13,199 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    I used to love making playdough for my 2, used to add glitter which DD loved.

    Saltdough is good as well as you could make it into a 2 day project, day 1 make and then shape into whatever animal, flower name etc and bake and then day 2 they could paint their creations, dead cheap to make to.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 25th Jul 17, 6:46 AM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I managed to have a nsd yesterday and got a majority of jobs on the list done. We had a very good clear out yesterday which was good. I did the other money transfer so will check if either have hit my account. I also cancelled £80 of extras that I booked for our holiday to save money.

    Today's list:

    Washing
    Check if transfers have been done ( if yes, transfer to savings)
    Write dd card
    Pack dd's bag for tomorrow and remind ds to pack a bag of toys.
    Make lunch for work for tomorrow.
    Chase mechanic?
    Log reminders for certain dates

    I think that is it.
    Have a lovely day everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 25th Jul 17, 12:36 PM
    • 771 Posts
    • 2,246 Thanks
    debtaghh
    So I had a response to a post I put on another section regarding a dmp and it's pretty much what I said. Which means we will have to try and clear the debt the way we are doing now. I think once our minimums get lower if will makes things easier.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £47,011.04, Family £ 37,439: total debt £84,450.15
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