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  • FIRST POST
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 25th Jul 16, 7:16 PM
    • 10,473Posts
    • 69,440Thanks
    Bobarella
    Budget Wars - A New Hope (with apologies to George Lucas)
    • #1
    • 25th Jul 16, 7:16 PM
    Budget Wars - A New Hope (with apologies to George Lucas) 25th Jul 16 at 7:16 PM
    A New Hope is a very fitting title for my first ever DFW diary. For the first time in around 18 months I really have hope. I am one of those people who has always seen September as the start of the year. Because of back to school I suppose. And this year is the first September I can honestly say I am 100% looking forward to in years.

    My situation is complicated but to simplify, I took the enormous step to not only become self employed but to sell my family home to finance my new business in 2011. I turned my back on a very well paid career to go out on my own.
    In that period I have had many challenges. Gone to hell and back owing wages and HMRC. Dont worry the wages were paid back long ago as quickly as I could. And I repaid HMRC.
    The stress of being responsible for other peoples lives is intense if you've never been there. At my lowest point I deactivated my voicemail to avoid the energy company being able to contact me.

    At one point I owed around £40,000 all business related. Primarily on a loan, but some CC.

    Time and again I bashed my head against my mental bars and wondered if I could physically carry on. But I did. Through hell and high waters. Quite literally in fact....

    This last year has not been easy. I worked as the sole employee of my business during my entire pregnancy with DD and went into labour whilst still at work. When my baby was 4 months old I got seriously ill and spent a week in hospital. My lovely FIL was diognosed with the big C 2 months ago. And life has wobbled along precariously as always.

    The reason for my new hope is I finally made a big decision. To stop the business I am running & build another. It wont be easy but it will get me out of the hole I am in & allow me to take on paid employment around the new business. I have 4 days left of my old situation and then good night vienna!

    I love MSE. It and the people of it have been such a comfort. And now I am hoping to use this diary as a place for me to record my baby steps towards a life less stressful, adrenaline filled & chaotic.

    Bob
    Last edited by Bobarella; 25-07-2016 at 7:34 PM.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
Page 94
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 14th Jul 17, 7:07 PM
    • 4,772 Posts
    • 20,831 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    See I can't offer anything practical I can provide something to laugh at

    Keep your chin up, it takes time to get everything back into place after a bump, but you will get back to the top again x
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • emmie26
    • By emmie26 14th Jul 17, 9:34 PM
    • 482 Posts
    • 1,775 Thanks
    emmie26
    Oh Bob, I've been AWOL all week and missed your posts. I'm sorry it's been so fraught, it sounds like you are motivated to make some positive changes.
    I went on some training today and had some really good advice which I'm going to try myself. We were advised to write a list about all the things that are causing stress in our lives and then put them in order of most stressful to least stressful. Next we had to think about what would have to happen for each stress that would make it go away (perfect situation). Finally try and think about one small change that you can make that will take you towards the stress free ideal (for each problem) these have to be small changes that are achievable. The idea is that by making small changes in each area you feel much better week on week. I'm going to give it a whirl tonight with some post its and see, as I've been feeling a bit bleugh myself.

    Total Debt: £24,359.79 £22,182
    debt reduced by 9%
    Debt free date: May 2019
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 14th Jul 17, 11:17 PM
    • 2,425 Posts
    • 18,478 Thanks
    sashybo
    Good luck with your goals Bob, I'm sure you'll achieve them.

    Take care of yourself, dodgy hug time.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8720 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £44,562.82
    Loans 1 & 2 £4407.44, CC BT £475, Car loans £24,819.31
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 15th Jul 17, 8:00 AM
    • 4,081 Posts
    • 21,906 Thanks
    Eager_Elephant
    (((Bob)))

    Is there anyone nearby who you could share the school run with? So you take their child there and back one day and they take your son the next day or maybe one does morning and one does afternoon. Not all the time but even one day a week would give you a breather.
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 20 for August
    NSD - 0/18
    (up to 01/09/17)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 15th Jul 17, 9:56 AM
    • 1,476 Posts
    • 16,894 Thanks
    Suffolk lass
    I'm sitting here, willing things to get better for you and while I don't have any words of wisdom or real reassurance, your inherent positivity will pull you back up. I love that you are finding positives but you mustn't ignore the pressures and stresses. emmie26 is right about that stress technique - it works! I also add two more I have used.

    Look at that list of stress-inducing things and try to prioritise them (not as a one-off, more every few days) so you concentrate on the bigger things in terms of possible big changes while you are unpicking and re-packing your stresses, then look at the list upside down and see whether you can pick-off and eradicate any of the lower priority things without overloading yourself, using emmie26's suggested little steps.

    My other technique is my dead-of-night technique. You write down what is waking you/keeping you awake when it happens (I have to go to the bathroom with my paper and pen or I wake my Husband ) and then in the morning look at them and address them - I put them in little mental containers of categories and look at all the bits in one list to see what I need to change. Sometimes just shuffling them around helps to minimise their impact.

    Oh yes, and "lose weight so I am happy with my body" got crossed off ages ago. When it comes back I know other things are in my head (it's not like I lost the weight and I'm happy, I just stopped it causing me stress because I just like naughty things too much, so that was my (pathetic but effective) mitigation for it).

    I know I said two things, but the other thing that is brilliant is "one moment meditation" - maybe try it, it's a short you-tube video and really works https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6eFFCi12v8 here's a link - five minutes to learn and practice it. My work uses it in mindfulness and wellbeing courses
    MFiT T4 #2 update 31.2% after Q6
    Save £12k in 2017 #64 - £8112.39 saved (73.74%) after August - my annual target is £11,000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2017 budget of £3,600 £3000 (reduced from Apr) - 61.61/66.66% including stores after July
    My DFD is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5593594
    • Florence J
    • By Florence J 15th Jul 17, 11:21 PM
    • 1,578 Posts
    • 8,938 Thanks
    Florence J
    Oh Bob,

    Siebrie told us on the wombling thread to head over, I hope everything improves. Let SugarBaby help you out if it is appropriate to.
    Sealed Pot Challenge 10 #553 (£90) Wombling free 2017 = £1505.37 Pay off all your debts by Xmas 2017 #53 (£2743.11/£3000) Debt to OH paid back £1120.95/£1120.95
    September 2017 Credit Card Debt: £4344.96
    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 16th Jul 17, 9:53 AM
    • 937 Posts
    • 6,705 Thanks
    f0xh0les
    Reading and willing a regular long term booking to come your way....and a TV series needing your place....and a lotto win.
    MFW May 16 £118,340
    September 17 - £109,896.73
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 21st Jul 17, 9:52 AM
    • 10,473 Posts
    • 69,440 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Morning All

    I apologise for diving straight in and not replying to all the lovely and really appreciated comments above. I have about 5 minutes before all hell breaks loose in the front room (both children full of the joys this morning, and I can smell a nappy that needs changing from here)

    So. I am currently on day 5 of being overdue with the rent. I sent my landlord a message explaining that I was waiting on payment myself. I decided to do it this way rather than have to borrow a big amount, because I knew I did have dribs and drabs arriving. This is the first time I've done this i.e so late paying. I dont like it. It makes me feel terrible, but equally I thought out the best and worst case scenarios and weighed it all up.
    As I stand today, I am £77 short if the person who said they'd pay me today does. I have two enquiries that look likely to convert, so even by the end of today things might be different.

    Enquiries have picked up a lot. I also have a good thing happening today which is a direct result of some free work I undertook. So you always have to think about the long game.

    I also had the amazing stroke of luck of winning a week long drama course for my son! Purely via entering into something on social media. I am delighted. We had booked a two day course for him for the same period, so need to see what we can do about that, and what he wants to do of course.

    I just wanted to get my thoughts down whilst I can.

    Less good. I have cancelled a direct debit, that keeps representing itself and the bank keep charging me £15 to bounce. I could kick myself as I've lost £30 now, I should just have called the company concerned and explained and made a deal with them. But you live and learn. They will probably be annoyed, but I have to pay my rent, that has to come first.

    Right be back when I can.

    Bob
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • JoJoC
    • By JoJoC 21st Jul 17, 10:36 AM
    • 1,196 Posts
    • 3,718 Thanks
    JoJoC
    Just popping in to see how you're getting on Bob and sorry life is tough for you right now. In terms of the £30 lost, you should call the bank and request a refund of charges. They're often fairly obliging if you explain the situation and don't try to reclaim charges regularly?

    I hope some of these bookings convert to take the weight off a bit.

    Take care.
    CC1: 3,774.32/4,200 | CC2: 5,077/5,393 | Loan: 7,430/15,000
    Total: 16,292.57/20,032 Paid since Feb17: 3,739 or 18.66%

    Mummy of two boys - Working hard to make better financial choices!
    *My debt busting and savings diary*
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 21st Jul 17, 4:47 PM
    • 3,330 Posts
    • 28,603 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Fingers crossed that lots of lovely cash and bookings have come your way today Bob.
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 21st Jul 17, 6:49 PM
    • 4,772 Posts
    • 20,831 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Hope you got sorted Bob? x
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 21st Jul 17, 6:54 PM
    • 818 Posts
    • 7,302 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Hope things are picking up a bit, Bob.
    • boxofpaws
    • By boxofpaws 22nd Jul 17, 12:36 PM
    • 404 Posts
    • 1,674 Thanks
    boxofpaws
    Bob, things sound hard for you at the minute. I'm thinking of you. You will get through this, you're made of tough stuff.


    Paws
    Debt 03/01/17 = £42000
    Debt today = £31900
    • Orange Ena
    • By Orange Ena 23rd Jul 17, 8:32 PM
    • 1,222 Posts
    • 3,202 Thanks
    Orange Ena
    Hoping things are getting better Bob.
    Debt April 2015 - £6895.44 Debt April 2017 - £2500 May - £1455 Aug - £960
    CHEFS challenge (Cruise Holiday Entirely Funded by Surveys) - £254.52
    Every penny is a prisoner
    • emmie26
    • By emmie26 23rd Jul 17, 11:42 PM
    • 482 Posts
    • 1,775 Thanks
    emmie26
    Oh Bob it sounds like you are having a tough few months, sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs.

    Total Debt: £24,359.79 £22,182
    debt reduced by 9%
    Debt free date: May 2019
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 24th Jul 17, 8:00 AM
    • 4,772 Posts
    • 20,831 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Dropping by with some ((dodgy hugs)) xx
    DFW £1313.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £466.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Toni'sfriend
    • By Toni'sfriend 24th Jul 17, 8:26 AM
    • 818 Posts
    • 7,302 Thanks
    Toni'sfriend
    Me too, Bob. Hope your OK
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 24th Jul 17, 11:41 AM
    • 244 Posts
    • 1,244 Thanks
    JWPopps
    Hi Bob,

    I've been away for a week so I've just caught up with your posts. I sincerely hope things improve radically for you very soon - you work incredibly hard, and you deserve some recognition for that!!
    Credit Card Debt: £572.37
    Loan Debt: £6,454.65
    Savings: £170



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 57% paid 4715/8280[/
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 24th Jul 17, 1:06 PM
    • 4,486 Posts
    • 12,960 Thanks
    Verbatim
    And some money! Hope it comes flooding in today Bob.
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 24th Jul 17, 8:24 PM
    • 5,427 Posts
    • 16,575 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Hope things improved by the end of the day for you Bob xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £6936.45 - 04/09/17 - 70.99% paid off
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