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  • FIRST POST
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 25th Jul 16, 7:16 PM
    • 10,454Posts
    • 69,668Thanks
    Bobarella
    Budget Wars - A New Hope (with apologies to George Lucas)
    • #1
    • 25th Jul 16, 7:16 PM
    Budget Wars - A New Hope (with apologies to George Lucas) 25th Jul 16 at 7:16 PM
    A New Hope is a very fitting title for my first ever DFW diary. For the first time in around 18 months I really have hope. I am one of those people who has always seen September as the start of the year. Because of back to school I suppose. And this year is the first September I can honestly say I am 100% looking forward to in years.

    My situation is complicated but to simplify, I took the enormous step to not only become self employed but to sell my family home to finance my new business in 2011. I turned my back on a very well paid career to go out on my own.
    In that period I have had many challenges. Gone to hell and back owing wages and HMRC. Dont worry the wages were paid back long ago as quickly as I could. And I repaid HMRC.
    The stress of being responsible for other peoples lives is intense if you've never been there. At my lowest point I deactivated my voicemail to avoid the energy company being able to contact me.

    At one point I owed around £40,000 all business related. Primarily on a loan, but some CC.

    Time and again I bashed my head against my mental bars and wondered if I could physically carry on. But I did. Through hell and high waters. Quite literally in fact....

    This last year has not been easy. I worked as the sole employee of my business during my entire pregnancy with DD and went into labour whilst still at work. When my baby was 4 months old I got seriously ill and spent a week in hospital. My lovely FIL was diognosed with the big C 2 months ago. And life has wobbled along precariously as always.

    The reason for my new hope is I finally made a big decision. To stop the business I am running & build another. It wont be easy but it will get me out of the hole I am in & allow me to take on paid employment around the new business. I have 4 days left of my old situation and then good night vienna!

    I love MSE. It and the people of it have been such a comfort. And now I am hoping to use this diary as a place for me to record my baby steps towards a life less stressful, adrenaline filled & chaotic.

    Bob
    Last edited by Bobarella; 25-07-2016 at 7:34 PM.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
Page 92
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 4th Jul 17, 10:07 AM
    • 1,160 Posts
    • 5,649 Thanks
    MeandO
    Thanks all of you. And at the risk of sounding dramatic, it isnt a pain like a headache, just that feeling that your whole life is going to hell in a handcart and you feel like you are just about managing to keep from bursting into tears on the street, that sort of pain. I really will go now, as I dont like pity parties. Hopefully I will sort myself out very soon.
    Originally posted by Bobarella

    Seconding knowing this feeling Bob.^^^^

    Sending love your way lovely and hope things get easier soon. xx
    Savings: £2000/£3000
    Mortgage Feb 2015: £102,000
    Mortgage now: £78,670

    "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage" - Anais Nin
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 4th Jul 17, 10:21 AM
    • 1,598 Posts
    • 7,697 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    Hi Bob,
    I've not been around much so sorry to hear you have been so down. I had a conversation with my sister yesterday, we both said that this past year, everything has seemed so hard. Why does "it" have to be so hard? So I totally get where you are at. You work hard and do your best for everyone all of the time, and sometimes it just leaves you drained and empty. If it helps, I did NOT manage to keep myself from bursting into tears on the street on Sunday whilst out shopping for school trip stuff with DS on Sunday. Walked 10 minutes back to car with tears streaming down my face, and for the whole drive home. I was just so tired. Just wanted you to know we all understand. And it will get better. Lots of love n hugs.
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • JWPopps
    • By JWPopps 4th Jul 17, 11:32 AM
    • 254 Posts
    • 1,316 Thanks
    JWPopps
    All the hugs in the universe to you, Bob!!!
    Credit Card Debt: £572.37
    Loan Debt: £6,454.65
    Savings: £170



    [B]PAYDBX 2017 - #19 : 57% paid 4715/8280[/
    • apple muncher
    • By apple muncher 4th Jul 17, 5:05 PM
    • 6,551 Posts
    • 47,926 Thanks
    apple muncher
    Would you consider/ have you considered seeing your gp about how you are feeling, Bob? X
    NST November #; NSD 13/17; Ex 9/12; craft 19/30 (247); remove 601
    2017 MFW#63 Pay off: £3484/£4050; 2
    017 sell 174

    Mortgage £23,486 (01/14: £78,201; 01/15: £59,629; 01/16: 39,915; 01/17: 27,295) MFWDate Dec 2018
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 4th Jul 17, 5:07 PM
    • 3,369 Posts
    • 28,915 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Love to you Bob. Sounds to me as though you need some R&R.
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • greent
    • By greent 5th Jul 17, 10:06 AM
    • 6,439 Posts
    • 64,971 Thanks
    greent
    Just caught up and didn't want to read and run without offering you more hugs and supportive thoughts xx
    I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul
    Repaid mtge early (orig 11/25) Bal 01/09 £124616 01/10 £104927 01/11 £89873 01/12 £76317 01/13 £52546 01/14 £35356 01/15 £12133 07/15 £NIL
    Next: BTL Mtge 12/16 £69786. 2017 OPs (#18) £5034/£3286
    Net sales 2017 £1226.02/£500 PAYDOX17 £11937/£10k Decluttered 1760/2017 items
    • Doobop
    • By Doobop 5th Jul 17, 7:21 PM
    • 149 Posts
    • 1,694 Thanks
    Doobop
    Another lurker here wishing you well.
    • JoJoC
    • By JoJoC 5th Jul 17, 8:13 PM
    • 1,247 Posts
    • 4,033 Thanks
    JoJoC
    Hope you manage to get some time to gather your thoughts and take time for yourself. Life can be overwhelming at times and it's OK to admit that things aren't OK.

    Hope you manage to find a way yo overcome how you're feeling, whether that's muddling through, sharing it with someone or visiting your GP.

    All the best x
    CC1: £3804.52 / £3704.32 £100.20 paid | CC2:£5027.53 / £4927.48 £100.05 paid | Loan: £15,000 / £13,932.24 (£1067.76 paid)

    July debt total: £23,832.05 | New debt total: £22,564.04 | Total debt paid: £1,268.01 (5.3%)
    *My debt busting and savings diary*
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 9th Jul 17, 8:23 PM
    • 4,230 Posts
    • 26,404 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    Hope things are improving Bob and you're okay x
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 12th Jul 17, 12:59 PM
    • 3,369 Posts
    • 28,915 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Bob - just popping on to say hello and I hope that you're ok...
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Jul 17, 1:27 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Afternoon All

    Apple to answer your question first. No I haven't considered the GP. I know my own problem and think they'd just be pretty much Dur/ head desk if I did tell them I was stressed or down.

    My 'problem' is I am attempting the impossible. And at times thinking it might just be possible.
    I would not advise anyone anywhere to live the life I do. In order of insanity
    - I have spent the last 5/6 years earning barely a penny. But working like crazy.
    - I had a baby and took literally no maternity leave. I was back at work 2 days after giving birth.
    - I look after said baby, and run a business, which means I end up staying up till 12/1 in the morning to get things done. Then get up at 7 without fail every day because when you have children you don't lie in..
    - OH and I haven't been out together since our son was about 2. He's 9 this year. We have no babysitting choices and no money to pay for nights out anyway.
    - I get literally no time on my own that isn't working or watching my daughter. I get so fed up about this but have no choice.
    - My family situation is very complicated with none of my close relatives on my side wanting to support me for having taken the biggest risk of my life.
    - My so called friends have all moved on because they don't understand what it's like to give all of yourself to making something work. I do feel very hurt in some instances and feel if I were a man no one would bat an eyelid but apparently women are supposed to behave in certain ways and I have broken the code....

    So that's a big list of reasons why I am feeling pretty rotten. And what would a GP say? Slow down. Give up the insane desire to work for yourself. Go to sleep earlier. Stop drinking a lot of coffee every morning.

    They wouldn't be wrong would they

    All that sounds quite angry doesn't it. I think I am a bit at the moment.

    On practical matters, last month having had such a tough financial period pushed our already delicate finances to the wire. This month is even worse on our side because of how much less we had last month. And yet again the rent is due (monday) and I'm looking down the back of the sofa. But having to maintain positive happy vibes for my clients, and children. Which is very draining in itself.

    I am truly grateful for all the lovely messages. It is a lovely Community here. And you are all special people.

    Bob
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 12th Jul 17, 1:32 PM
    • 781 Posts
    • 2,287 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Bob, I've been reading your posts for months and have truly enjoyed reading them. Your last post sounds very unlike your other posts. I run my own business too and am trying to juggle childcare, working and struggling for money so completely feel for you. Hopefully in time your business will be thriving and things will settle, I know this doesn't help the now. I really hope things improve quickly x

    Ps don't forget how well you have done with clearing your debt whilst raising a family!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc £49,987- family £37,561: total debt £87549

    Current debt: Cc £46,572, Family £ 37,313: total debt £83,885
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Jul 17, 1:32 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Bob - just popping on to say hello and I hope that you're ok...
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    Thanks Cat.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Jul 17, 1:33 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hope things are improving Bob and you're okay x
    Originally posted by Hiddenidenity
    Thank you Hidden
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Jul 17, 1:35 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Bob, I've been reading your posts for months and have truly enjoyed reading them. Your last post sounds very unlike your other posts. I run my own business too and am trying to juggle childcare, working and struggling for money so completely feel for you. Hopefully in time your business will be thriving and things will settle, I know this doesn't help the now. I really hope things improve quickly x

    Ps don't forget how well you have done with clearing your debt whilst raising a family!
    Originally posted by debtaghh
    Thank you Deb. It sounds like you know the struggles too. I have always known it isn't just me.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Jul 17, 1:36 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Just caught up and didn't want to read and run without offering you more hugs and supportive thoughts xx
    Originally posted by greent
    Thanks for the hugs Greent

    Another lurker here wishing you well.
    Originally posted by Doobop
    Thank you Doobop

    Hope you manage to get some time to gather your thoughts and take time for yourself. Life can be overwhelming at times and it's OK to admit that things aren't OK.

    Hope you manage to find a way yo overcome how you're feeling, whether that's muddling through, sharing it with someone or visiting your GP.

    All the best x
    Originally posted by JoJoC
    I appreciate your words JoJo thank you
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Jul 17, 1:39 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Seconding knowing this feeling Bob.^^^^

    Sending love your way lovely and hope things get easier soon. xx
    Originally posted by MeandO
    Sorry you have felt it too MeandO. Wishing you happier times.

    Hi Bob,
    I've not been around much so sorry to hear you have been so down. I had a conversation with my sister yesterday, we both said that this past year, everything has seemed so hard. Why does "it" have to be so hard? So I totally get where you are at. You work hard and do your best for everyone all of the time, and sometimes it just leaves you drained and empty. If it helps, I did NOT manage to keep myself from bursting into tears on the street on Sunday whilst out shopping for school trip stuff with DS on Sunday. Walked 10 minutes back to car with tears streaming down my face, and for the whole drive home. I was just so tired. Just wanted you to know we all understand. And it will get better. Lots of love n hugs.
    NOA
    x
    Originally posted by NoOneAround
    NOA - thank you for your kind words and I am so sorry you have been in a bad way too. I hope you enjoy your kids being off this summer.

    All the hugs in the universe to you, Bob!!!
    Originally posted by JWPopps
    Thank you so much.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Jul 17, 1:41 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hi Bob,


    I was missing you on the Wombling thread and wondered where you were. Life is not easy for you at the moment, and I wish you all the best.
    Originally posted by Siebrie
    Thanks Siebre. Wondering if anyone else might want to pick up the reigns on that one, I feel guilty for not being around.

    Morning Bob, I can relate to the feeling. Big hugs to you lovely lady xxx
    Originally posted by Purplemumof2
    Thank you and I do know I'm not the only one who has had tough times, life can be hard.

    Oh Bob, poor you. Sending you huge support vibes. I hope you're able to figure out a path through the stress and work out the best route to move forwards with.
    Originally posted by Treadingonplaymobil
    Thank you TOP.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Jul 17, 1:43 PM
    • 10,454 Posts
    • 69,668 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Sending you many hugs and well wishes for a positive outlook, hope you can take some time out to recharge your batteries and that a brighter future is just around the corner.

    H x
    Originally posted by hugglemonster
    Thank you so much Huggle.

    I don't post on your diary often Bob, but you sound like the more cheerleaders you can have right now, the better. From what I read, you work incredibly hard, give so much to family and friends, and deserve a lucky break.

    Here's hoping karma sends you the good stuff you deserve.
    Originally posted by mfmaybe
    Thanks very much

    definitely pervy hug time.

    Win, lose, or draw, we are here and you know where to find us.
    Originally posted by f0xh0les
    Thanks Foxy
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 12th Jul 17, 2:58 PM
    • 3,369 Posts
    • 28,915 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Aw Bob - I truly have nothing but respect and admiration for everything that you do. I know our situations are very different but I completely appreciate trying to make a go of things and feeling like nobody notices/cares/helps etc. I wish I was closer and I would come and babysit your kids so you and dh could have a date night (and I don't ever offer to look after other people's kids )...
    You just need a break, and unfortunately I know how hard they are to come by.
    Lots of love to you and yours xxxx
    NSTSeptember #32 NSD 8/18 RYSAW17 #1 £1313.42 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
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