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  • FIRST POST
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 25th Jul 16, 7:16 PM
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    Bobarella
    Budget Wars - A New Hope (with apologies to George Lucas)
    • #1
    • 25th Jul 16, 7:16 PM
    Budget Wars - A New Hope (with apologies to George Lucas) 25th Jul 16 at 7:16 PM
    A New Hope is a very fitting title for my first ever DFW diary. For the first time in around 18 months I really have hope. I am one of those people who has always seen September as the start of the year. Because of back to school I suppose. And this year is the first September I can honestly say I am 100% looking forward to in years.

    My situation is complicated but to simplify, I took the enormous step to not only become self employed but to sell my family home to finance my new business in 2011. I turned my back on a very well paid career to go out on my own.
    In that period I have had many challenges. Gone to hell and back owing wages and HMRC. Dont worry the wages were paid back long ago as quickly as I could. And I repaid HMRC.
    The stress of being responsible for other peoples lives is intense if you've never been there. At my lowest point I deactivated my voicemail to avoid the energy company being able to contact me.

    At one point I owed around £40,000 all business related. Primarily on a loan, but some CC.

    Time and again I bashed my head against my mental bars and wondered if I could physically carry on. But I did. Through hell and high waters. Quite literally in fact....

    This last year has not been easy. I worked as the sole employee of my business during my entire pregnancy with DD and went into labour whilst still at work. When my baby was 4 months old I got seriously ill and spent a week in hospital. My lovely FIL was diognosed with the big C 2 months ago. And life has wobbled along precariously as always.

    The reason for my new hope is I finally made a big decision. To stop the business I am running & build another. It wont be easy but it will get me out of the hole I am in & allow me to take on paid employment around the new business. I have 4 days left of my old situation and then good night vienna!

    I love MSE. It and the people of it have been such a comfort. And now I am hoping to use this diary as a place for me to record my baby steps towards a life less stressful, adrenaline filled & chaotic.

    Bob
    Last edited by Bobarella; 25-07-2016 at 7:34 PM.
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Page 14
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 19th Sep 16, 9:24 PM
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    Bobarella
    Evening All
    Been a whirlwind of a day. Back to back meetings from 9 to 11.30. Business is full on.
    Everything is just whipping along. Meeting so many new people. Learning every day.
    Drawbacks include constantly spiking adrenaline up and down. Feel like I'm going to develop whiplash with the highs and lows.
    Financially things are moving the right way. But I am still very anxious about how things will balance between our needs and that of the business.
    Only time will tell.
    Bob
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 20th Sep 16, 7:18 AM
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    Bobarella
    Worst nights sleep ever. DD awake for hours. Feel dead.
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    • PurpleFairy26
    • By PurpleFairy26 20th Sep 16, 9:04 AM
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    PurpleFairy26
    Worst nights sleep ever. DD awake for hours. Feel dead.
    Originally posted by Bobarella
    Oh dear Bob hope today is kind and you get an early night.
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 20th Sep 16, 12:09 PM
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    Bobarella
    Oh dear Bob hope today is kind and you get an early night.
    Originally posted by PurpleFairy26
    Cheers PF. I have so much to do .includings reading reams of legal stuff necessary to get the business on to the next stage. Of course DDs nap lasted 20 mins. I'm desperate for time to do all I need to including invoice clients but I won't get time now till she goes down tonight. And DS is in bed. And dinner is made. Its so frustrating having to work like this....
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    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 20th Sep 16, 3:20 PM
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    kirtsypoos
    Bob, I can't believe I have only just found your diary!

    I'm so pleased the business seems to be heading in the right direction for you.

    DS and DDs antics sound lovely - what a fab time you seem to have been able to spend as a family over the Summer holidays.

    Hope you continue getting busier with the premises
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 20th Sep 16, 10:47 PM
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    Bobarella
    Hi Kirsty

    Thanks for stopping by, haven't been joining in much with the PADdingtons lately so missing you all. Hoping October will be a better month for spare cash. You are doing so well on your repayments!

    Bob
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    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 21st Sep 16, 7:16 AM
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    f0xh0les
    Just remember to breathe Bobs, or you will stress yourself out too much and end up with one of those nasty 'someone else's dirty kid germs' things that go around at this time of year.

    Hope DD is back to sleeping again for you. I am one of those lucky people (DH calls me a freak!) who does not like sleep, good job I don't need much to function, but I understand some people seem to like it.
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 21st Sep 16, 7:39 AM
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    Bobarella
    Good advice Fox I'm impressed at your not needing much sleep. That will stand you in good stead when you have 4 teens to wait up for.

    Thanks I know I need to chill a bit but easier said than done. I got all the invoices done in the end and priced up the course I need to go on. Or not...can't decide what to do for the best. I'm determined to look after DD myself as with my son I had to go back to my corporate job when he was 8 months and having made it from her birth to now also running a business don't want to give up now. But that said she is now incredibly mobile, climbing like a little goat & into everything. If she doesn't really nap all day either it makes the days I have computer based work to do very tricky indeed.

    Today we are doing a viewing at 9am so that will be our first job.
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    • DawnW
    • By DawnW 21st Sep 16, 7:21 PM
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    DawnW
    Good advice Fox I'm impressed at your not needing much sleep. That will stand you in good stead when you have 4 teens to wait up for.

    Thanks I know I need to chill a bit but easier said than done. I got all the invoices done in the end and priced up the course I need to go on. Or not...can't decide what to do for the best. I'm determined to look after DD myself as with my son I had to go back to my corporate job when he was 8 months and having made it from her birth to now also running a business don't want to give up now. But that said she is now incredibly mobile, climbing like a little goat & into everything. If she doesn't really nap all day either it makes the days I have computer based work to do very tricky indeed.

    Today we are doing a viewing at 9am so that will be our first job.
    Originally posted by Bobarella
    Bob, of course you are looking after her, but when funds allow, wouldn't you consider her going to nursery or a childminder for even one day (or half day) a week, to allow you to do the admin for your business without distraction? I look after my 2 year old GD quite a bit. She is obviously past this particular stage, but still very demanding, and there is no way I could do any of my business admin with her around

    She needs to explore and find out about the world as she is doing, and it is great fun to be part of that but you have other needs as well at the moment, and at the same time, it would not be a bad thing for her to start to socialise with other adults and children for a few hours a week. She will get more, rather than less, active. You are not part of the corporate world any more, so it would not be the same as with your son.... but in any case, he has turned out ok, hasn't he? Hope you don't think I am speaking out of turn , but do consider cutting yourself a bit of slack!

    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 22nd Sep 16, 11:06 AM
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    Bobarella
    So last night was spent in A+E after a spectacular bed dive head first onto our laminate floor 2 feet down. Utterly hideous. Don't worry she's fine. But we are both very tired today.
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 22nd Sep 16, 11:09 AM
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    Bobarella
    Dawn not speaking out of turn at all. Thanks for popping in. I keep hoping some sort of routine will appear and then I can predict what I need childcare wise because at the moment each day is different. You are as always the voice of reason.

    DS has turned out fine. If standard moody boy behaviour is discounted. I even had the amazing experience of his new teacher informing me that a piece of creative writing he had done was of Year 6 standard (he has just started year 3) & he will be reading it in assembly tommorow plus DS will get a merit. So yes I am very proud and glad for once to get great feedback!
    Last edited by Bobarella; 22-09-2016 at 11:15 AM.
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    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 22nd Sep 16, 3:33 PM
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    Purplemumof2
    So last night was spent in A+E after a spectacular bed dive head first onto our laminate floor 2 feet down. Utterly hideous. Don't worry she's fine. But we are both very tired today.
    Originally posted by Bobarella


    Ouch! Poor thing, glad she's ok though x
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 22nd Sep 16, 7:02 PM
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    Bobarella
    Ouch! Poor thing, glad she's ok though x
    Originally posted by Purplemumof2
    Thank you.
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 22nd Sep 16, 7:13 PM
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    Bobarella
    Super tired after last night's antics.its been a nice day though. Nothing to actually do but spent an hour out leafleting, then took DD to a park with a lovely big sandpit. OH did another job at the shop and also worked on his paid for job. Two deposits received today so business account is starting to look healthier.
    Have to write some copy for a different leaflet tonight as we have a private view of the art show on tommorow night, and the main attendee's will be artists so I want as many of them as possible taking those away and thinking of booking us themselves.
    DD asleep. DH watching a bit of TV with DD before his bedtime. I think it will be gnocchi with pesto and salad and an early night for this lady.
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    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 23rd Sep 16, 7:13 AM
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    f0xh0les
    for you Bobs, it is traumatic for you, but she will have forgotten all about it by Monday morning, which is a blessing, but also terrifying.

    Can't remember how old DD is, but I totally understand not wanting to put her into full time childcare - I was the nutter who came and got DS at lunchtime in foundation (DS1 & 2 didn't go until year 1, but 3 &4 were at school every day getting the brothers, so they knew all the teachers and wanted to go) - a full day knackered him out so much all I did was post food into him when he came home and scooped him into bed at 5.30. So he escaped at lunchtime, we had lunch together and went and threw bread at ducks, or went to the pool, or went to the swings and chatted (they can all chat, my boys!). Then when they were a bit bigger they trotted off to school happy as Larry. Never had tears.

    There was something on our local Streetlife about a working mums/dads resource group - sharing resources and information on childcare and self employment - I never knew it existed, might be something to look into? Will look up the name of it.
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    • PurpleFairy26
    • By PurpleFairy26 23rd Sep 16, 2:07 PM
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    PurpleFairy26
    sorry to hear about your DD bob, glad she was ok. Hope you've managed to catch up on some sleep. I know it's difficult with the business v looking after her. I've all but given up my own business (that i did alongside my FT job) as I just couldn't justify going off and doing stalls/fayres etc when it was time away from my family. I still do run it but just with current and referred customers, so I know just how hard it is.

    I would say, as ever - you know your own and your family the best and you will make the best of the circumstance you are in and the best decisions for your family. In time, it may be a half day here or there at nursery or CM, but soon enough she'll be 3 and the 15 hours will start :-) You are doing brilliantly and I find that some people will like seeing the business with your family with you as they can understand how much of a family operation it is.

    You working at the restaurant this weekend?
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 23rd Sep 16, 9:18 PM
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    Bobarella
    for you Bobs, it is traumatic for you, but she will have forgotten all about it by Monday morning, which is a blessing, but also terrifying.

    Can't remember how old DD is, but I totally understand not wanting to put her into full time childcare - I was the nutter who came and got DS at lunchtime in foundation (DS1 & 2 didn't go until year 1, but 3 &4 were at school every day getting the brothers, so they knew all the teachers and wanted to go) - a full day knackered him out so much all I did was post food into him when he came home and scooped him into bed at 5.30. So he escaped at lunchtime, we had lunch together and went and threw bread at ducks, or went to the pool, or went to the swings and chatted (they can all chat, my boys!). Then when they were a bit bigger they trotted off to school happy as Larry. Never had tears.

    There was something on our local Streetlife about a working mums/dads resource group - sharing resources and information on childcare and self employment - I never knew it existed, might be something to look into? Will look up the name of it.
    Originally posted by f0xh0les
    DD is 11months. So foundation is reception? I didn't know you could skip reception. Live and learn. You have to do what feels right don't you, no need else knows your children like you do.

    Street life is sounding more and more promising, I will look into it as soon as I get chance. Thank you
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 23rd Sep 16, 9:32 PM
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    Bobarella
    sorry to hear about your DD bob, glad she was ok. Hope you've managed to catch up on some sleep. I know it's difficult with the business v looking after her. I've all but given up my own business (that i did alongside my FT job) as I just couldn't justify going off and doing stalls/fayres etc when it was time away from my family. I still do run it but just with current and referred customers, so I know just how hard it is.

    I would say, as ever - you know your own and your family the best and you will make the best of the circumstance you are in and the best decisions for your family. In time, it may be a half day here or there at nursery or CM, but soon enough she'll be 3 and the 15 hours will start :-) You are doing brilliantly and I find that some people will like seeing the business with your family with you as they can understand how much of a family operation it is.

    You working at the restaurant this weekend?
    Originally posted by PurpleFairy26
    Thank you PF. Was that wellness products you were into or am I getting confused?
    I appreciate there are many of us out there doing different versions of the same thing so I by no means think my struggles unique. But it is a comfort to hear from people who really know what it's like.
    I don't want to wish her life away at all. We have had so many nice times recently now she is old enough to really enjoy playgrounds and libraries. After a bit of a miserable summer I am treasuring the hours we have between jobs and the school run.
    I'm not really looking for ways to farm her out. More a way of creating a calming weekly routine where I know I do viewings twice a week and see people for 3 hours in a row rather than walking up and down constantly. Then a block of time to do admin etc. I think we are just struggling because DH and I do everything between us with zero outside support. Like tonight. He is currently sitting around waiting for the people using the place tonight to go home so he can come back and be with me. We just need to get this stage over and things will improve.

    I'm working this weekend but not at the pub. They rudely ignored my email this week asking about hours. But to be honest I don't like it there anyway. It's hard, dirty work for min wage and in 4 years of employing people I never treated anyone the way I have been there....
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    • f0xh0les
    • By f0xh0les 24th Sep 16, 9:14 AM
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    f0xh0les
    Wish I were nearer Bobs, I'd take her off your hands for 3hrs twice a week! When we were in Salford there was a Surestart centre that you could book them into but I think that has all been done for now. They put on a free creche for practically everything - free salsa lessons in the afternoons, sewing classes, baby massage, free swimming - it was great, as we were classed as 'an inner city area of urban deprivation'. Busiest I have ever been! But most of the people who used the free childcare left them and went back home to watch JK and get their nails done.

    Shame you can't network with another mum (who isn't a nutter) and arrange one afternoon a week of child swapping, that or a teenage cousin!

    I know how you feel about doing it alone, my MIL has changed 4 nappies and taken my 4 to the park twice while I was showing people around the house we were selling and they invited themselves over for a week (40 minutes of her life). I am never allowed to forget what a hands on Grandma she is. I am truly blessed (that the Irish Sea is between us).
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    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 24th Sep 16, 9:58 PM
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    Bobarella
    Wish I were nearer Bobs, I'd take her off your hands for 3hrs twice a week! When we were in Salford there was a Surestart centre that you could book them into but I think that has all been done for now. They put on a free creche for practically everything - free salsa lessons in the afternoons, sewing classes, baby massage, free swimming - it was great, as we were classed as 'an inner city area of urban deprivation'. Busiest I have ever been! But most of the people who used the free childcare left them and went back home to watch JK and get their nails done.

    Shame you can't network with another mum (who isn't a nutter) and arrange one afternoon a week of child swapping, that or a teenage cousin!

    I know how you feel about doing it alone, my MIL has changed 4 nappies and taken my 4 to the park twice while I was showing people around the house we were selling and they invited themselves over for a week (40 minutes of her life). I am never allowed to forget what a hands on Grandma she is. I am truly blessed (that the Irish Sea is between us).
    Originally posted by f0xh0les
    You are so sweet. Just reading your post has made me feel really happy.

    I am sorry to hear you haven't had any support. It is bittersweet when you have children. To me my pair are my universe. And always will be. Not all people seem to feel that bond. But I would say it's their loss.
    That made me giggle about people using the free childcare to !!!! off home and do nothing
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