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    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 23rd Jul 16, 11:23 PM
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    dandy-candy
    OS menopause memories?
    • #1
    • 23rd Jul 16, 11:23 PM
    OS menopause memories? 23rd Jul 16 at 11:23 PM
    I'm wondering if any of the older ladies can remember their mothers coping with the menopause before HRT was used?
    I think I might be in the perimonopause stage but I'm pretty anti drugs in general, and as the menopause is a natural part of a woman's life I always assumed I would just let it run its course.
    My dear mum isn't around anymore to ask so I don't know how bad her symptoms were although I know she didn't have HRT as she had had cancer previously and so was advised not to have it.
    Looking online it seems very common for Drs to prescribe it for women nowadays. Does anyone remember how ladies coped in the old days?

    *just to clarify, I don't want any medical advice (against rules I know!) just to know if women found it very hard or coped ok*
Page 12
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 14th Oct 16, 3:04 PM
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    dandy-candy
    Hi ladies, how is everyone coping?

    I have been sweating like a beast (sorry if tmi) though only during the day, but the Brain fog is so embarrassing! I took our rabbit to the vet to have his teeth trimmed and I mentioned I'd had a text saying he was due his booster injection. The vet checked the computer and said it could wait until next time if I wanted or he could do it now, it was up to me; so I said to do it next time. We then chatted while he weighed and checked bunny, before he said "I'll just take him out back and do his teeth" at which I piped up and said "what about his injection?" Cue awkward look from vet ...

    Add to that that I just drove up the motorway at 70 thinking my car was a bit sluggish, only to realise I still had the hand brake on.... yes I'm going to stay at home for a few days now

    Please do keep posting any things you have discovered that help
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 14th Oct 16, 3:20 PM
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    dandy-candy
    The final straw came when Dh rang me at the weekend. He was at home, with the builders, about to install a set of trifold doors and they couldn't find the instructions. I was definitely the last person to have them but could I remember what I had done with them??? No way. Total and utter blank. And I mean blank!
    They had to make do with pictures of them which thankfully, Dh had asked me to send him a couple of weeks before.
    Where did I find them? In the drawer with the potatoes and onions!!!!! WTH???
    Originally posted by rosie383
    Rosie this really made me laugh because I can completely relate to it! Thank you for brightening up my day
    • beecher2
    • By beecher2 14th Oct 16, 7:27 PM
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    beecher2
    It is crazy, isn't it? Last week I had no idea how to log on to my computer at work, it was a total blank. The fact that the log in details are my name is a bit scary, lol. It doesn't happen to me as often now though. Finally reached the point of no longer having to shave my legs so that is a bonus. Hoping it is a sign that I'm getting nearer the end as TMI alert, I cant keep losing this amount of blood. That's the one thing I find unbearable in all this.
    • trailingspouse
    • By trailingspouse 14th Oct 16, 9:53 PM
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    trailingspouse
    My mother (86 now) went through it all with very little difficulty. I quote - 'I don't think we had hot flushes in my day'... And to be honest, things were OK for me too. Hot flushes and night sweats were a pain for a while - but nothing that couldn't be solved by taking off a layer or having the bedroom window open.

    And now, at not-quite-56, I haven't had a hot flush for months.

    The question we really need to be asking is - why do we never get a hot flush at 6 in the morning when we're downstairs making tea and the heating hasn't come on?
    • pollyanna24
    • By pollyanna24 14th Oct 16, 10:18 PM
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    pollyanna24
    When people say "hot flush," what exactly do they mean? I get the feeling really hot and then really cold, but I always associate it with wanting to faint.

    Is this what it feels like or do I have something else to look forward to?
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    • rosie383
    • By rosie383 15th Oct 16, 7:37 AM
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    rosie383
    I had another 'moment' yesterday. Went to the chemist then couldn't find my car. I had parked in q different street than I normally park in but I couldn't for the life of me figure out where. Found it after five minutes, but it was a long five minutes at the time!

    Beecher, can I ask what happened with your joint pains? Did they go away in the end? I, like you seem to, have had what seem like different joint injuries, one after the other for a few years now. All the time, something is hurting. It's been my right knee now for a good few months. Before that it was my left hip, left ankle, right shoulder, and a couple of years back it was a lot of my joints all at once. I'm wondering if I should just try to ignore the pain and go back to the gym as this latest one is just dragging on too long.

    Also folks, wen back to the GP yesterday to get all of my blood results. Discovered then that they hadn't in fact done any hormone levels. Apparently in my town, they don't check hormone levels after the age of 45! Oh, and they don't offer any HRT either u less you are really, really desperate.
    There was something else really important that I wanted to add but I have gone totally blank so when I remember, I will pop back.
    Father Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These
    (he points to some plastic cows on the table) are very small; those (pointing at some cows out of the window) are far away...
    • beecher2
    • By beecher2 15th Oct 16, 10:23 AM
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    beecher2
    Rosie, what do your ferritin levels say? I have a theory that my joint pain comes back if my ferritin goes below 40 but it is (like all my theories) 100% non scientific. I had trigger point pain in my right shoulder and down my back while my neck was really painful. I'd recommend an osteopath or sports massage but you're probably right to try to go back to the gym if you can. My neck's still a bit of a problem but nowhere near what it was like. Edit: what about your vitamin D levels as my doctor thought that was a cause

    I don't know if hormone levels tell you much anyway, mine were 100% normal which I refuse to believe. Just depends on when they test them really.

    polyanna, I don't have bad hot flushes during the day, like you I just have times when I get very hot and then very cold. I also have times when my neck feels as if it is on fire. I do have nightsweats for about a week before a period, and I wake up between 1am and 2am with sweat pouring from my head, back of neck and chest. I never really sweat, even if the temperature is in the high 30s so this is a real shock for me! Other women have it much worse though and have to change bedding - I only have to change clothing and it only happens once a night. I do not want this to happen during the day!
    Last edited by beecher2; 15-10-2016 at 2:44 PM.
    • Slowly57
    • By Slowly57 15th Oct 16, 2:12 PM
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    Slowly57
    The question we really need to be asking is - why do we never get a hot flush at 6 in the morning when we're downstairs making tea and the heating hasn't come on?
    Originally posted by trailingspouse
    HA!! Those are the only ones I get - I call it my power-up. Once I'm awake I get one (with bonus crawling fire ants up the shins sensation) - apart from that - I occasionally get one about 30mins after a cup of coffee.

    Does anyone else get The Random Angry Red Chest of Doom with no accompanying flush at all? (aka Oooh you've caught the sun) - I hate it and dread that it's going to become perma-red (as I'm ghostly pale otherwise and it looks v. odd).
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    • rosie383
    • By rosie383 18th Oct 16, 6:53 AM
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    rosie383
    Gosh! How weird this all is!!

    Beecher, apparently my ferritin levels are fine. Only thing was that my calcium levels were borderline low. And that is with me taking calcium and vitamin D regularly. I now have them beside the coffee jar in the cupboard along with the Menolieve and vitamin B complex so that I remember to take them. My mum and grandma and all of mum's siblings developed kyphosis (hump back) and I really don't want that!!
    When I have forgot to take the calcium for a while, my joint pains are definitely much worse.

    I've remembered now what it was that the GP said. If things haven't improved in a few weeks, come back and she will give me some anti depressants!!!!! What????? No way! She keeps asking me if I'm down. Says my symptoms could be depression. I have tried to patiently explain that I may not be as happy and chilled as normal, but I think it is because I keep doing stupid things. And forgetting things and making mistakes. All adds to the stress of a day and makes me dread what idiotic thing I will do next.
    I was in tears at the bus stop yesterday. Really needed to be somewhere. Was standing waiting for the bus in the town centre. When it finally arrived, some people got off, the bus driver was fiddling around with stuff and I thought that, as usual, he would stop for a few minutes as it was the final/first stop on the route. But no. He shut the doors and drove off without me! I was gobsmacked at my stupidity and stood there with tears pouring down my face feeling like a right plum.
    Father Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These
    (he points to some plastic cows on the table) are very small; those (pointing at some cows out of the window) are far away...
    • Slowly57
    • By Slowly57 18th Oct 16, 3:59 PM
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    Slowly57
    He shut the doors and drove off without me! I was gobsmacked at my stupidity and stood there with tears pouring down my face feeling like a right plum.
    Originally posted by rosie383
    What a TOSSER.
    You might be crying rosie383 but they are tears of frustration love.
    Report it next time.

    Everyone gets muddlehead from time to time and I think we blame a lot of this stuff on meno.
    I get through life with a notebook full of lists + a cheapy diary - often I don't need to write stuff down but it helps me feel less anxious. Bonus - if you think you've forgotten to do something you can check back whether you did it or not.

    I make notes of lots of things - I don't care if folks take the mickey - I am smug in the knowledge that a) I know when insurance is due and b) know what it cost us last year lol You can probably get an app for that now.
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    • beecher2
    • By beecher2 18th Oct 16, 4:11 PM
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    beecher2
    What a shame rosie. It is awful when you feel your brain isn't doing what you want it to, though to be honest I've had similar happen to me before peri hit! Hope you're having a better day and remember, it won't last for ever.Sorry to keep going on about ferritin, but the level doctors are happy with its shockingly low.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 19th Oct 16, 11:21 AM
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    dandy-candy
    Poor Rosie! That was an infuriating thing to happen

    I slept through last night for the first time in a week normally I'm waking up too hot (but not sweaty) and then can't get back to sleep.

    I wanted to ask how everyone is affected by normal tasks. I'm finding things like sweeping the floor or walking around the shops are making me overheat when previously they never did. I'm really not a sweaty person at all, even on a hot day. Today I walked back from the shops in a vest top while everyone else is in coats and hats! Before that I was chatting to a friend sitting for an hour and when I got up my blouse had stuck to my back

    Can I also ask if anyone else finds it upsets their emotions? I've been incredibly bummed a few days this week. I started anti depressants 3 weeks ago and normally I should be on an even keel by now. I'm going to ask the dr to up the dosage, but I don't even know if they help if it's a hormonal thing?!
    • Slowly57
    • By Slowly57 19th Oct 16, 12:16 PM
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    Slowly57
    I wanted to ask how everyone is affected by normal tasks. I'm finding things like sweeping the floor or walking around the shops are making me overheat when previously they never did. I'm really not a sweaty person at all, even on a hot day. Today I walked back from the shops in a vest top while everyone else is in coats and hats! Before that I was chatting to a friend sitting for an hour and when I got up my blouse had stuck to my back Can I also ask if anyone else finds it upsets their emotions? I've been incredibly bummed a few days this week. I started anti depressants 3 weeks ago and normally I should be on an even keel by now. I'm going to ask the dr to up the dosage, but I don't even know if they help if it's a hormonal thing?!
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    DandyCandy - I think you can begin to become obsessed with "How do I feel" and "'Ooh it's going to happen again" and it becomes a vicious circle .

    To be honest - I don't give a fig about what other's think about my red face and sweatiness - getting stressed makes everything worse for me. And yes, the slightest bit of sentimentality makes me bawl like a baby, and I can get terribly irritable and ragey. Odd and hard to deal with as I'm usually quite chilled too.

    As far as I'm concerned, if anyone makes a comment about my sweats, that's just rude. I'm not inclined to apologise for going through a natural process. Also, if you say "I'm menopausal" it does tend to make them shut up pretty quickly

    Get your GP to do a blood test to check your hormone levels - if you're meno it might mean your dosage of other meds needs adjusting?

    You'll be fine hun xx
    Last edited by Slowly57; 19-10-2016 at 12:20 PM.
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    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 20th Oct 16, 10:27 AM
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    dandy-candy
    Thanks Slowly
    I've asked 3 times for a test and they fob me off, but I have a gynaecologist appointment next month at the hospital so I will ask them.

    I do find it bizarre that as most women do go through the menopause, it still feels like a great "unknown" and no one talks about it! It's great having the internet so I can pop onto various forums. I've also just ordered a book so will have a good read.
    I hope everyone is managing ok
    • rosie383
    • By rosie383 20th Oct 16, 11:04 AM
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    rosie383
    I agree that we don't talk about it enough. But partly that will be because there is a whole range of symptoms and each of us will go through none, some or all of them.
    I think every woman in the world knows about hot flushes and night sweats. I think a lot of women aren't aware of the memory problems, exhaustion, joint pains, sleepless nights, really low mood etc. I know that I certainly wasn't.
    Just knowing that I'm not the only one has helped so much. My lovely sister rang me last night. She found that a combo of St John's wort and black cohosh really helped. So, bless her, she has put a wee parcel of them in the post for me. She sent me the black cohosh a few weeks ago, but tbh, I haven't felt much benefit.

    Will try to get a copy of my blood results from the GP and have a look at my ferretin levels just in case and will look into how to increase it.

    Slowly57 kindly sent me a link for freezer food recipes, so I feel better today for doing a stock take of my freezer today, cleaning it out, and deciding on a few meals for the next few days. It really helps me, removes a lot of stress if I know what I'm cooking.

    Also, as suggested on another thread, I'm making much more detailed lists of things to do for the day. Even as much as washing dishes, putting washing on, hanging up, making lunches etc. It is so satisfying to cross things off and reminds me what I need to do.
    I also leave it sitting out in full view. If dh wonders what I have been doing all day, he can see my list! I don't draw attention to it, just leave it there! Saves the frequent 'Have you done...?' 'What have you been doing all day?'
    There are many days when I don't stop but it doesn't look as if I've done much. Makes me feel less worried about it.
    Last edited by rosie383; 20-10-2016 at 11:08 AM.
    Father Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These
    (he points to some plastic cows on the table) are very small; those (pointing at some cows out of the window) are far away...
    • Slowly57
    • By Slowly57 20th Oct 16, 11:26 AM
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    Slowly57
    I agree that we don't talk about it enough. But partly that will be because there is a whole range of symptoms and each of us will go through none, some or all of them.
    Originally posted by rosie383
    Yes, its good to talk about it - but ye gawds - reading about some women's experiences frightened me to death. Also NEGATIVITY. I'm not going to pretend meno is happy-joy-joy but if you've been through menstruation (let alone pregnancy/childbirth) then you know how variable these things can be.

    I think things are seen as even MORE dreadful these days because we are supposed to fit into one way of being - skinny, wrinkle-free, no grey hair, forever youthful, sexaay, etc and meno has given me those mad hairs on my chin that grow 4" overnight lol
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    • beecher2
    • By beecher2 20th Oct 16, 7:11 PM
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    beecher2
    Slowly, I get what you're saying but feeling under pressure to look youthful isn't what's making me feel dreadful, it is the major stomach issues, the continual bleeding and the exhaustion that's doing that. It's hard not to be negative if the perimenopause hits you like a truck, and other women's stories stop me from thinking that there's something seriously wrong with me, and remind me that it will end at some point.
    • Slowly57
    • By Slowly57 20th Oct 16, 7:20 PM
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    Slowly57
    Aww beecher2 I'm sorry about the stomach issues and the 'flooding' bleeding - before it all stops. It IS scarey and exhausting. I found that bit worse than the flushes and the rest. At least I can laugh about meno - peri had me grieving for my 'normal life' and made me feel so lost. It does get better. It's just like puberty (in reverse lol) and I even had the spots to prove it ...
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    • beecher2
    • By beecher2 20th Oct 16, 7:35 PM
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    beecher2
    Thanks Slowly, maybe I am grieving for my normal life too, I hadn't really thought of it that way. I was lucky enough to have really good health before this and I think I took it for granted! I definitely miss the time I could make plans and not be worrying about flooding, or being unable to eat or drink because of my stomach. I'm 49 in a few days so I know it won't go on forever.
    • Slowly57
    • By Slowly57 20th Oct 16, 8:37 PM
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    Slowly57
    Oh beecher2 - I had days where I was so bloated I couldn't get my coat fastened and I felt like I was losing my mind. I really do think this time of life knocks you for six. It is hard to 'reinvent' yourself when you are feeling so grotty and mood-swingy.

    It will calm all down. I'm coming out the other side but I'm not the same person now. Sometimes I don't recognise this body of mine but then again I feel calmer and curious as to what happens next.

    Of course OH is still hiding behind the couch afraid to come out bless lol
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