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  • FIRST POST
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 15th Jun 16, 10:46 AM
    • 11,101Posts
    • 45,362Thanks
    Dinah93
    The Ultimate Incentive muddles along
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 16, 10:46 AM
    The Ultimate Incentive muddles along 15th Jun 16 at 10:46 AM
    Part 12. I have now been limping around these forums for the best part of a decade. I cleared it all, it all came back. It was nearly gone again, and it's grown almost to the max again. Somehow nearing that £16k debt figure always signals a change in the winds, something happens to make our finances go in a better direction for a few months, but then we hit a bump, fall off the wagon, down a cliff and into the deep dark sea. As well as a few maternity leaves and redundancy the biggest bump these last few years has been NIMs depression, where we can have no wages coming into the house for months on end, but also no ability to contribute in other ways so that I can work or even so I can do some home based money making.

    While the depression isn't in the best place right now, we are both committed to making it work as best we can, and my diary has always helped me, with the support and chatter of my amazing threadies. So, time to work out where we stand, and fill you in on what we plan to do about it.
    LBM 01/11/2016 MBNA £13181.21 £13309.61 Bcard1 £12402.89 £12679.10 BCard2 £1874.63 £2014.13
    Paid off £544.11/£28,002.84 (1.94%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
Page 4
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 27th Jul 16, 7:18 PM
    • 5,904 Posts
    • 17,134 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Oh sub 19k even better than I thought. I know what you mean about being impatient. Life would be so much easier if we had the extra 600plus pounds per month to spend rather than service our debts.
    Originally posted by roomontheend
    It sure would! The amount I spend servicing my debts is more than my mortgage. It's insane really
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €27,000/€26,949
    BOI credit card: €7,000
    Loan: €20,000/€19,949
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 28th Jul 16, 9:08 AM
    • 5,732 Posts
    • 24,966 Thanks
    Cinny91
    We're okay! There hasn't been anything on our street yet, however the woods where I walk Ryder with Oscar is constantly targeted (think I've called the fire dept 3 times myself!) and someones hedge got set on fire a street over from us. Hoping to move next spring, aiming to save up the rest of the £20k by the new year.

    Those are great mile stones to be hitting CMD and ROTE! You do sound a lot more motivated this time around CMD and I hope you make it through the summer okay ROTE.

    At least you can put that chapter behind you and move on yourself now Wendz. It does sound like you might be better off moving but with having to get a new job too it'll be a massive change, but at least you have the extra support. Seems to be a pro to ever con and visa versa!

    House Deposit £18,275/20,000

    Savings: £375/1000
    Weight loss 16/38lb GW: 150lb
    • FacelessNumber
    • By FacelessNumber 9th Aug 16, 8:59 PM
    • 283 Posts
    • 1,479 Thanks
    FacelessNumber
    Well I just had to post to say hi after spending a lot of time the last couple of months reading through all of the diaries! (Well I may have skim read some bits but that's not the point!) I've had a dissertation to write so it's been an ideal distraction

    Dinah I can only say I hope you manage to get some steady income sorted between you to get a decent run at the debt for once. I'm going to subscribe to this one now and hope that you get back into it soon! Although I've been lucky enough not to suffer with depression, both my mum and sister have had it quite severely (both requiring counselling and medication) so I know what it's like when your family are struggling and can sympathise.

    Anyway I just wanted to say hi and let you know that people are still reading, and you have a huge amount of virtual support if you need it!

    • ruby_eskimo
    • By ruby_eskimo 13th Aug 16, 10:50 AM
    • 2,255 Posts
    • 12,029 Thanks
    ruby_eskimo
    Just popping in to say hello and to wish you luck with the debt busting Dinah. I know it's disheartening to find yourself back with debt to clear but you've done it before and you can do it again. Hope NIM is enjoying his new job and that things are looking brighter for you both. Also can't believe Ben is 2 now, where has the time gone!?!

    Nothing much really to report here - almost 10 months into marriage and nothing has really changed. Oh apart from we're in the process of buying a house. I promised myself I wouldn't get stressed but when you find out that you may need a new roof and no idea where the hell the money is going to come from, that's kind of stressful! Hoping that it will just be a minor repair but will know more once I've spoken to the surveyor and got a roofer in to do a quote. But first I'm going to procrastinate by popping in to town and buying a folder and some dividers to sort out the mountain of paperwork that we've received about this bleeping house!
    Emergency Fund - £0 / £1,000 :: Holiday Fund -£135 / £3,600
    Sealed Pot 2016 #24 :: VSP #29 - £0:: NSD 2016 - 0 / 200 Weight Loss: 30 / 51lbs September GC - £65/ £200
    Engaged 9th December 2010 Married 29th October 2015
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 14th Aug 16, 9:11 PM
    • 5,732 Posts
    • 24,966 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Lovely to hear from you, Ruby! I think it's basically impossible to not get stressed over buying a house when just moving home is stress alone. And I'll keep everything crossed the repair is only little.

    Keep popping on to see if Dinah has posted and nothing! Always worry just a tiny bit when you go MIA

    Not an awful lot of change out way! Managing to get back on form with our food budget, and we're keeping a frozen pizza in at all times for those nights when we have nothing left to give come tea time. But we have got into a good routine of cooking one night, left overs the next so it's gone untouched for a fortnight We've been using a lot of wartime era recipes too because they're coming up healthy, simple, cheap and tasty! I've made a few cakes and the recipes only require an oz or so of sugar so I don't feel too guilty over my tea and cake pick me ups anymore

    Hope everyone's ready for the week

    House Deposit £18,275/20,000

    Savings: £375/1000
    Weight loss 16/38lb GW: 150lb
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 15th Aug 16, 11:05 AM
    • 5,904 Posts
    • 17,134 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Happy Monday all!


    I agree with Cinny - don't think any house buying comes without stress. Fingers crossed re: the roof Ruby!


    Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine today. I'm stuck in work but am off tomorrow so am hoping it sticks around.


    Dinah - I hope the silence indicates you are beavering away at the debts. Hope NIM has settled into his new job well.


    Birdie - how are you? Haven't heard from you in ages
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €27,000/€26,949
    BOI credit card: €7,000
    Loan: €20,000/€19,949
    • shrimpy_80
    • By shrimpy_80 15th Aug 16, 10:39 PM
    • 1,608 Posts
    • 6,717 Thanks
    shrimpy_80
    HI everyone, lovely to see familiar faces (names) still on here! I haven't been on the forums in a very very long time but had a little browse tonight and one of the first threads I came across referenced you Dinah! So I did a quick search and found this new thread. Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time but its really quite amazing that you are still a source of inspiration to people on these boards all these years later so you should feel immensely proud:

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5507938 (post 5 I think it was)

    I still have some debt lingering around as well which I really want to knuckle down and get cleared so hopefully I will make it on here more often.
    Starting debt £18,600
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 17th Aug 16, 1:47 PM
    • 6,985 Posts
    • 24,470 Thanks
    wendz86
    Hope you are ok Dinah.

    We had a nice weekend away in the lake district. Definitely want an abroad holiday next year though. I got some free shares in my company this year so hoping to cash those in to pay for it as don't have much spare cash these days.

    Good luck with the house buying Ruby.
    • Birdie85
    • By Birdie85 18th Aug 16, 11:42 AM
    • 9,282 Posts
    • 40,047 Thanks
    Birdie85
    Hi all! Sorry I've not been here for a while, just fell off the forums for a while and got out of the habit of checking back in!

    Hope everyone's well? I'm on the countdown to payday (12hrs to go!) here, for the last few months we're definitely finding too much month at the end of our money!

    I saw that you went to the Pirate Day at Stokeld Park on Sunday (?) Dinah, was it good? Zach's obsessed with Swashbuckle ATM and we'd have loved to take him to see Gem but we figured out that it was a really freaking expensive day out so we didn't go, used our HHA passes for a cheap day out elsewhere!

    Hope you can get a nice, cheap holiday booked for next year Wendz! The Lakes is a beautiful part of the world, but it's not a sun holiday! We're relying on shares to pay for next years holiday too but we've booked it already so having to pay off the deposit now, as well as the garage bill for the car to get it through it's MOT... hence being short of cash! Hopefully it'll all work out by early next year when my shares mature!

    Have you had any more thoughts/made plans about moving closer to your family Wendz?

    Well done on sticking to a decent food budget/plan Cinny! I struggled to plan/cook meals when I was alone with Zach for pretty much the first year! I'm still rubbish now... I get home from work, look in the (usually empty) fridge and think 'Ah !!!!, what the hell are we supposed to eat tonight?!'. Pretty much every single night! Bad, bad Mama!

    Hope the house buying is going well and the roof isn't working out too pricey Ruby!
    Overcome the notion that you must be ordinary. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary!
    Goal Weight 140lb Starting Weight: 160lb Current Weight 145lb
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 19th Aug 16, 1:17 PM
    • 6,985 Posts
    • 24,470 Thanks
    wendz86
    There is always too much to pay for isn't there Birdie! Not long till your pay day though.

    I've got a lot better with my meal planning now. The girls eat at school/childminder mon -thurs so I just do things for me that are easy after work and then meals for us all fri-sun. I have a organised mum diary which is fab as has a meal plan section each week.

    I haven't really had much more thought on moving yet. Think I am going to get Christmas out the way and then do some number crunching and pro and cons listing.
    • gothrockchic1
    • By gothrockchic1 27th Aug 16, 1:33 PM
    • 1,929 Posts
    • 5,722 Thanks
    gothrockchic1
    Hi Dinah, lurker coming out of lurkerdom!

    I remember your first thread and I thought you were incredible with your debt busting. You were inspirational to a lot of people including me, and you still are!

    Sometimes life happens and it throws you some challenges. I am sorry to hear of NIM's depression. Congratulations on his new job! Hopefully it is going well and is giving him some routine. I know you can do it again!
    Make £2016 in 2016 £298.48/£2016
    Declutter Challenge 11/100
    Emergency Fund £95/£8000
    Nutribullet fund £1.47/£80

    Married 11/08/2016
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 29th Aug 16, 1:50 PM
    • 5,732 Posts
    • 24,966 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Hey!

    Wendz, I can't believe we went to the same holiday park so close to each other! We stopped at Billy Bob's Diner on the way up by recommendation of Birdie, wish I knew you were going and I could have mentioned it - the girls would have loved it. Know what you mean about needing a real holiday though, my daaays that place was tiring and we could never get a seat in the pub on site so had fish and chips for tea every night

    Hope everyone's enjoying the bank holiday weekend!

    House Deposit £18,275/20,000

    Savings: £375/1000
    Weight loss 16/38lb GW: 150lb
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 29th Aug 16, 7:21 PM
    • 5,904 Posts
    • 17,134 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Hey!

    Wendz, I can't believe we went to the same holiday park so close to each other! We stopped at Billy Bob's Diner on the way up by recommendation of Birdie, wish I knew you were going and I could have mentioned it - the girls would have loved it. Know what you mean about needing a real holiday though, my daaays that place was tiring and we could never get a seat in the pub on site so had fish and chips for tea every night

    Hope everyone's enjoying the bank holiday weekend!
    Originally posted by Cinny91


    No bank holiday weekend here but we stayed in a fab spot at the weekend and it was very reasonable too. Only ended up spending €100 spending money too as we cooked for ourselves and used Tesco vouchers to gain entrance to a lighthouse.


    http://www.waterfordcastleresort.com/




    Where were ye Cinny & Wendz?
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €27,000/€26,949
    BOI credit card: €7,000
    Loan: €20,000/€19,949
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 30th Aug 16, 1:45 PM
    • 6,985 Posts
    • 24,470 Thanks
    wendz86
    Hey!

    Wendz, I can't believe we went to the same holiday park so close to each other! We stopped at Billy Bob's Diner on the way up by recommendation of Birdie, wish I knew you were going and I could have mentioned it - the girls would have loved it. Know what you mean about needing a real holiday though, my daaays that place was tiring and we could never get a seat in the pub on site so had fish and chips for tea every night

    Hope everyone's enjoying the bank holiday weekend!
    Originally posted by Cinny91
    How crazy. Yes so busy in the main place to watch show. We went to early one night as poppy was desperate to see a show and had sausage and chips ! Restaurant was a nightmare too, waited so long for food. The girls were starving.

    CMD - was the haven in the lake district.
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 5th Sep 16, 8:57 AM
    • 5,732 Posts
    • 24,966 Thanks
    Cinny91
    There definitely isn't enough space in their entertainment area for all the families and pushchairs! I had a nice time eating the Sahara nuts though

    Hope everyone is geared up for a nice September! It's my last full month of being at home and I'm back in the office on the 17th but I'm looking forward to it, Oscar will be at my parents two days a week and I've asked for a pay rise and salary when I go back so fingers crossed. Will make a big difference to our savings for a house and we're so close to 20k!

    House Deposit £18,275/20,000

    Savings: £375/1000
    Weight loss 16/38lb GW: 150lb
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 5th Sep 16, 10:49 AM
    • 5,904 Posts
    • 17,134 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    There definitely isn't enough space in their entertainment area for all the families and pushchairs! I had a nice time eating the Sahara nuts though

    Hope everyone is geared up for a nice September! It's my last full month of being at home and I'm back in the office on the 17th but I'm looking forward to it, Oscar will be at my parents two days a week and I've asked for a pay rise and salary when I go back so fingers crossed. Will make a big difference to our savings for a house and we're so close to 20k!
    Originally posted by Cinny91


    You are doing amazingly well with the deposit, you are so close Cinny!


    September is so expensive for us, am counting the days until the paycheque comes and then we can really start paying off these debts.
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €27,000/€26,949
    BOI credit card: €7,000
    Loan: €20,000/€19,949
    • archersluck
    • By archersluck 7th Sep 16, 8:45 PM
    • 585 Posts
    • 2,216 Thanks
    archersluck
    How was Grace's first day of school Dinah? Let us know how you're getting on

    Saving for a deposit: £11,621.15
    20/25lbs
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 13th Oct 16, 10:27 PM
    • 11,101 Posts
    • 45,362 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Hi guys, been catching up since I was last here. I gave up a little as I missed the banter when the thread used to run to pages a day, but more to the point I felt utterly useless as I couldn't get a handle on things, but we have a regular salary now, we're in a routine, I can't make any such excuses, the only reason I won't get on top of things now is because I've grown lazy about money management.

    I had a bit of an epiphany a few days ago, I used to be great with money, focused, determined, in control. Now I spend like there's no tomorrow. I was chatting to a friend a few days ago, her financial situation is the complete opposite of mine - her husband is a pretty high earner, very very stable, he takes complete control over their finances but is quite tight with money. In contrast I have complete free rein, to the extent I think it's been over a year since NIM checked our bank account, and if we want anything we just buy it. We're in roughly £25k of debt, they have savings (although she has no idea how much) and will have paid off a mortgage on a house worth 50% more than ours within 10 years. Their plan is to take their kids travelling, pay foruni and cars etc once the mortgage is gone, when they're old enough to appreciate it, while we've taken the attitude with the children that so long as they enjoy it at the time, then there is value in it, and who knows what tomorrow will bring so don't wait for it. While I could never be okay not being allowed access or at least knowledge of our own money, it just hit me like a ton of bricks - my attitude shifted from planning and providing for my family, to living for today when Grace was a baby and we were told to make the most of every day because she wouldn't be with us long. While they said eventually it must have been a misdiagnosis, I've never 100% let it go. I live in daily fear of loosing Grace especially, but I'm probably a lot more morbid about both my kids than is usual. As a result the good bit is I never run out of time for cuddles, stories, playing silly with my kids, we have lots and lots of fun times together and are very very close. The bad bit is I can't ever turn down an adventure, a day out, a present for them and we're up to our eyeballs because of it. I'm short changing them long term by feeling like I'm tempting fate if I turn down a short term guarantee in favor of a long term plan that I'm so, so scared won't come to pass if I invest myself financially and emotionally. It has felt like whenever I've looked to far to the future the last few years something has gone horribly wrong, NIMs depression has only compounded this time and time again. I'm hoping the realization is enough for me to start saying no to things, material things especially. Even just choosing free activities more often will help, but buying less stuff in the hope it gives us the life without fear that I want would be a great start.

    As suggested by tootallulah we're giving it at least a year before making any big decisions, we still think moving and doing up a new house might be the way to go, but NIM has just spent months doing up Ben's train room, and we're now on the final stages of making Grace a magical castle bedroom. Photos once I've painted the acres of mdf.

    Also good advice from tootallulah was to go back to basics, and ebay like crazy, clear the clutter and the debt at once, as both have an equal negative impact.

    ROTE, it's really inspiring to see your debt is similar to ours, but you're excited about a £6 recycling deal and £1.80 on a phone - I need to remember little bits add up and not to just throw my hands up in the air and run around screaming that the sky is falling in. Also CMD, slightly less than us but same ballpark. Somehow it makes me feel a lot better that others are in this same area, same long haul commitment needed, but I also realise that it is doable, which often lately I've forgotten.

    We've continued battling with NIMs depression, it just invades daily life every day. Most of the time he's holding it together better, but he has a real night and day time of it, flick of a switch and he's in the darkest of dark places, completely fatalistic, where 10 minutes earlier he was doing okay. We're also now investigating if the diagnosis of garden variety depression is correct, as it looks like something else is at play that we need to diagnose and treat if we want things to ever be normal. We just keep getting the tablets stopped every few months and a new type started but nothing ever seems to really take him back to coping.

    So, feeling utterly daunted to owe so much money right now. The fact it's only between 3 cards helps in a way, a few months ago it was spread over about 7 cards, and I couldn't keep track of anything. But this is a long, long road to turn my attitude around psychologically, and our finances actually.

    On the plus side employment wise NIM is loving his new job, and I've been cleared to start teaching adults already so I'm just trying to source a new venue with evening availability, once I find somewhere 2 hours teaching a week will cover my monthly training costs, the other 3 weeks (and any classes above those 2 hours) are just profit. I'm not working for yogabugs anymore, I've gone private, as I can earn in one session what I was earning during an entire day with them. Already have 2 children's sessions going so my income is broadly similar but for fewer hours.

    Cinny, was it Profit Accumulator or Profit Maximiser you used for matched betting? Really, really want to get started on this.

    Hi Faceless - I feel like a let down as a diary keeper it's taken me 2 months to get back here and see your message... some pathetic part of my head seemed to think if I avoided the thread I wouldn't have to admit the debt was going in the wrong direction.

    Thanks gothrock, I shouldn't need bigging up but right now I am very, very appreciative for someone coming out the woodwork just to say they believe I can more than I do myself.

    Her first day of school was great Archers, she loves school and her teacher has called her a 'knowledge sponge' - so far she's still loving it - Tuesday is her favorite day of the week because it's the day she gets homework! (And goes to ballet, and tap, and her godmother comes for dinner - no midweek slump for my little lady)

    Apologies for any typos, my space bar is severely playing up, supposed to send the computer back for a replacement key board but the idea of being without for 2 weeks is off putting to put it mildly.
    LBM 01/11/2016 MBNA £13181.21 £13309.61 Bcard1 £12402.89 £12679.10 BCard2 £1874.63 £2014.13
    Paid off £544.11/£28,002.84 (1.94%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • roomontheend
    • By roomontheend 14th Oct 16, 9:52 AM
    • 390 Posts
    • 1,636 Thanks
    roomontheend
    I am so pleased to see you on here you have been missed. I have been checking in every now and again.
    I have started a new job and I am just getting the hang of organising fulltime work with budgeting, food planning and life in general. I know people do this all the time but mentally this has been difficult for me since it all went pear shaped after teaching. That said its also an ego boost that they want me and that we have an income boost. The post is for a teaching assistant rather than a teacher so about half the pay. However no marking and preparation so happy days. Walk in do the job and walk out. It’s being a long time since I had a job that you didn’t have to do at home.

    We fell into the overdraft about a fortnight ago which we haven’t been in for about 18 months. This was due to me not having any wages coming in since the beginning of July. However despite this we managed to get though the majority of the summer without it. It will take a month or two to get back in the black but I get paid every week (but not for the holidays, half term etc.) so that will help. All the minimum payments will be made till we catch up.
    I would really like to be one month ahead on money and payments instead of waiting till the end of the month to get wages and then pay for the next month bills out of that.


    It is fully understandable that you are living for the moment but those moments won't be as enjoyable if you are constantly thinking about the cost financially and mentally.


    I have been though CBT and it was a real help and may be this would be helpful for NIM. However I do think you are right that he need something more. Depression rarely goes away on its own.



    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 832 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    Total debt feb 2012 = £54354.11
    Paid = £22641.01 Current = £31713.10
    Paid = £32464.73 Current = £21889.38
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 14th Oct 16, 9:17 PM
    • 11,101 Posts
    • 45,362 Thanks
    Dinah93
    So, not much to report today, it's nearly 9pm and Ben is still up, but I'm opening the computer regardless in the hope he'll decide being up is boring and he wants to go to bed. Although at the moment he's just bringing all the blankets from his bed and covering the two rocking horses, the dolls, the cat etc and saying night night to all of them.

    2 year old assessment this morning, wasn't the appointment I thought I was going to so to get in and be told it's 2 hours of play based testing was a bit dauting, 2 year olds can't focus that long and by 80 minutes Ben just said 'no' to every question she asked him. On the plus side he came out above average or significantly above average for every variable they tested which is always reassuring. Quite how I don't know since his little beautiful mind also decided to eat the rubber from the end of Grace's giant pencil today.

    After the appointment it was straight to pick up a friends children, as her husband was having a hernia op today, so I said I would have them for the day so she could bring him home from hospital, get him settled etc without having to worry about 2 under 5's. So had a very fun afternoon, but a very loud one, and now the house looks like a bombsite.

    Going to do a little reading around profit accumulator/profit maximiser before bed.
    LBM 01/11/2016 MBNA £13181.21 £13309.61 Bcard1 £12402.89 £12679.10 BCard2 £1874.63 £2014.13
    Paid off £544.11/£28,002.84 (1.94%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
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