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  • FIRST POST
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 15th Jun 16, 10:46 AM
    • 11,140Posts
    • 45,510Thanks
    Dinah93
    The Ultimate Incentive muddles along
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 16, 10:46 AM
    The Ultimate Incentive muddles along 15th Jun 16 at 10:46 AM
    Part 12. I have now been limping around these forums for the best part of a decade. I cleared it all, it all came back. It was nearly gone again, and it's grown almost to the max again. Somehow nearing that 16k debt figure always signals a change in the winds, something happens to make our finances go in a better direction for a few months, but then we hit a bump, fall off the wagon, down a cliff and into the deep dark sea. As well as a few maternity leaves and redundancy the biggest bump these last few years has been NIMs depression, where we can have no wages coming into the house for months on end, but also no ability to contribute in other ways so that I can work or even so I can do some home based money making.

    While the depression isn't in the best place right now, we are both committed to making it work as best we can, and my diary has always helped me, with the support and chatter of my amazing threadies. So, time to work out where we stand, and fill you in on what we plan to do about it.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off 2,790.96/34,345.83 (8.13%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
Page 21
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 12th May 17, 4:43 PM
    • 11,140 Posts
    • 45,510 Thanks
    Dinah93

    Current to do list
    • Email Nursery
    • Call HMRC - no letter received
    • Call Car garage
    • Email Keith/Peter and raise merry hell
    • Email FIL
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Reply to yoga emails
    • Chase invoice from HH
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Send all FBA parcels to Amazon
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Do any alterations from weekends coursework
    • Send DVLA letter
    • Medicash claim
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Update website
    • Design NIM logo
    • Order NIM flyers
    • Order work tshirt
    • NIM uniform tax claim
    • Email gyms, try to get more work
    • Book ferry
    • Email tesco clubcard
    • Work out how to log onto instructors online system
    • Reply to recent emails that are starred
    • Get code for nursery place Done what I can, I have to wait for a phone call to give more information on my income to HMRC.... they have my tax credit return and annual
    • Sort car insurance for new car
    • DLA renewal form
    • Apply for active kids funding
    • Book Manchester hotel for next training weekend
    • Book hotel for Leicester aqua yoga training day
    • Draft letter to schools
    • Email Victoria
    • Email Vicky
    • Email Cara
    • Return Grace's school trip letter and money
    • Do poster alterations for dad
    • Get partial train ticket refund
    • Email Steve
    • Email/Call Ian
    Originally posted by Dinah93
    Have not stopped today, feel like I could really really use another 3 days like this to feel even halfway towards caught up on life. Supposed to be going to a friends house for pizza and wine tonight, going to drive anyway as on training 40 miles away at 10am, but really would rather have the time to catch up on life right now, how sad is that. It's my core friendship group too, lovely ladies, great to see them, usually I'd really look forward to it. Just feeling so utterly frazzled.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off 2,790.96/34,345.83 (8.13%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • kavics17
    • By kavics17 13th May 17, 6:39 AM
    • 2,178 Posts
    • 6,341 Thanks
    kavics17
    Nice to see everyone back.

    It is interesting to read that both you Birdie and Cinny decided on having only one, I wonder how one comes to this decision. I always thought that I would have at least 2 children, more likely 3 and I struggled to accept last year that mini Kavics might be an only one. She will most likely not have any siblings as after 5 years I am still single that although still would have another if I could.

    Dinah, I love the yoga pics on fb, I really would like to go for classes but can't find any which would suit me and the babysitter so sticking to running for now.
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 15th May 17, 9:48 AM
    • 6,992 Posts
    • 24,511 Thanks
    wendz86
    Hope everyone had good weekends? Mine was good, went to my friends 30th party Friday night and spent yesterday with my sister and niece.

    I know what you mean Dinah, was a busy weekend so no cleaning has been done and need to sort the house out desperately. Next weekend fairly quiet thankfully.

    Kavics if i met someone i would probably have a third if they wanted one although saying that I am enjoying the freedom of them getting older now.
    • ruby_eskimo
    • By ruby_eskimo 15th May 17, 4:27 PM
    • 2,313 Posts
    • 12,372 Thanks
    ruby_eskimo
    Hi everyone, glad to see people popping back in.

    I think we've decided to not go down the kids route full stop to be honest. DH has always been anti-children and I was always a bit unsure. When we got engaged he said that if I wanted children then he'd go along with it, but I don't want someone to just go along with it, I'd want someone to be fully on board. I'm more scared of babies than having a burning desire to have one so it's unlikely to be in our future and I'm ok with that.

    As I work in IT in the NHS, we've had a rather busy weekend. Thankfully our organisation was fine but that doesn't mean we haven't had call after call about the whole thing. Upside is that I haven't been able to do much work today as we've been on a bit of lock down just in case.
    Emergency Fund - 1000 / 1,000 :: Holiday Fund -3,600 / 3,600
    Sealed Pot 2017 #24 :: VSP #29 - 110.56:: NSD 2017 - 12 / 200 Weight Loss: 34 / 51lbs May GC - 0/ 200
    Engaged 9th December 2010 Married 29th October 2015
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 16th May 17, 8:40 AM
    • 5,761 Posts
    • 25,072 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Have you thought about using a donor, Kavics? My friend is currently expecting as a single parent from using a donor, she's younger than me so it's definitely a more common thing these days.

    I think it's a multitude of factors, I always have a couple of "reasons" for quick fire answers when we get asked but ultimately I'm incredibly happy being Oscar's mum {full stop}. Equally, I know plenty of people who aren't having children at all. Can think of 3 off the top of my head but there are probably more. I think that's fantastic, we live in a time where women aren't having endless numbers of kids because there is no alternative. But also, we're able to have children outside of the nuclear family structure without (on the most part, I guess) people being ostracised for it.

    Oh god, Ruby. I can imagine this last weekend has been a bit of a nightmare! It is worrying to think though, how much of a crash it caused, I didn't even think the NHS was that reliant on their computer system (mostly because from what I've seen they're very old computers!)

    House Deposit 20,000/20,000

    Weight loss 26/38lb GW: 150lb
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 16th May 17, 2:23 PM
    • 11,140 Posts
    • 45,510 Thanks
    Dinah93
    So stressed with building crap I'm hardly sleeping. There was a miscommunication clearly where I thought the quote of 'it'll be under 5k' was all in, not labour only. Have gone on to order glazing off the back of that, only to now find it's labour but not materials. Could scream as now we have glazing and quite possibly can't afford to actually put it into an extension. Worst comes to the worst we will be left with a boarded up hole at the back of the kitchen until we can save up enough to do the extension. Not the most secure though

    Perfectly valid choice Cinny, I'm always just curious as to what made people decide to stop, as we're probably done for a lot of practical reasons, but not sure down to emotional ones, so hearing other people's thought processes can help me think of things otherwise I wouldn't have considered.

    Current to do list
    • Email Nursery
    • Call HMRC - no letter received
    • Call Car garage
    • Email Keith/Peter and raise merry hell
    • Email FIL
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Reply to yoga emailsOngoing in many ways
    • Chase invoice from HHStill not paid though
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Send all FBA parcels to Amazon
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Do any alterations from weekends coursework
    • Send DVLA letter
    • Medicash claim
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Update website Started, it's taking a while especially as I'm trying to integrate some booking software. Finally found one that looks good and has a flat 20p +
      1% model, where most are 25 a month which doesn't make sense for my little business, however speaking to other teachers the ability to book online has brought in a lot of new customers and has also taken them up the search rankings, even on admin time saved it has to be worth losing 28p from each class booking
    • Design NIM logo
    • Order NIM flyers
    • Order work tshirt
    • NIM uniform tax claim
    • Email gyms, try to get more work
    • Book ferry
    • Email tesco clubcard
    • Work out how to log onto instructors online system
    • Reply to recent emails that are starred
    • Get code for nursery place Done what I can, I have to wait for a phone call to give more information on my income to HMRC.... they have my tax credit return and annual
    • Sort car insurance for new car
    • DLA renewal form
    • Apply for active kids funding
    • Book Manchester hotel for next training weekend
    • Book hotel for Leicester aqua yoga training day
    • Draft letter to schools
    • Email Victoria
    • Email Vicky
    • Email Cara
    • Return Grace's school trip letter and money
    • Do poster alterations for dad
    • Get partial train ticket refund
    • Email Steve
    • Email/Call Ian
    • Fill in OC Health questionaire
    • Get knee x-ray
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off 2,790.96/34,345.83 (8.13%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • kavics17
    • By kavics17 16th May 17, 6:54 PM
    • 2,178 Posts
    • 6,341 Thanks
    kavics17
    Oh no, I'm not doing this alone again. I have been on my own since I was 4 months pregnant. Never again. Being a mum is the best thing ever but it is the hardest as well. Even being divorced would be better because than at least you can discuss certain things and make decisions together with the father of the child, as a widowed parent you don't have this luxury. So as much as I want another, it is not happening while I'm alone.
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 17th May 17, 9:55 AM
    • 6,992 Posts
    • 24,511 Thanks
    wendz86
    What a pain about the miscommunication Dinah, sounds really stressful. You are doing well on your list though.

    Kavics - can't imagine how hard it is having all the pressure of parenting on yourself. Although myself and ex are obviously not together I do appreciate having that person to call on in difficult situations etc.

    It's Heidi's birthday in two weeks and have no idea what to get her. We seem to have every toy under the sun already. I'm thinking of getting her a paddling pool as the one we had broke last year. I know she's only 2 just feel bad as Poppy always seems to get more.
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 19th May 17, 12:31 PM
    • 11,140 Posts
    • 45,510 Thanks
    Dinah93
    We have the same with Ben. 3 weeks until he's 3 and I've got him a new crane for his train set, and the latest supertato book. He is obsessed with dinosaurs though, I would love to find something 'different' and dinosaur based (have lots of books and little figures) and then I think that's him done for his birthday this year.

    One of my students recommended me to a gym looking for a yoga instructor, going to look around and meet on Monday but depending on how many classes we agree to it will be 40-80 extra a week.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off 2,790.96/34,345.83 (8.13%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 19th May 17, 12:35 PM
    • 11,140 Posts
    • 45,510 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Trimmed down to do list, all I did crossed off, just actual current to dos still here
    • Call Car garage
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Send all FBA parcels to Amazon
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Do any alterations from weekends coursework
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Update website
    • Add mailing list function to website
    • Add online booking function to website
    • Design NIM logo
    • Order NIM flyers
    • NIM uniform tax claim
    • Email gyms, try to get more work Meeting with one on Monday who potentially have up to 4 classes a week for me
    • Reply to recent emails that are starred
    • Call Stockton council see if they can help with code for 3 year old funding
    • DLA renewal form
    • Draft letter to schools
    • Get partial train ticket refund
    • Fill in OC Health questionnaire
    • Get knee x-ray
    • Send receipts to BWY
    • Do spreadsheet for FIL
    • Send out all rebooking emails
    • Put in claim for yoga festival tickets see if can get refund
    • Put in L&G claim
    Bit less scary, not much
    Last edited by Dinah93; 22-05-2017 at 2:39 PM.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off 2,790.96/34,345.83 (8.13%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 19th May 17, 6:02 PM
    • 5,984 Posts
    • 17,340 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Trimmed down to do list, all I did crossed off, just actual current to dos still here
    • Call Car garage
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Send all FBA parcels to Amazon
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Do any alterations from weekends coursework
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Update website
    • Add mailing list function to website
    • Add online booking function to website
    • Design NIM logo
    • Order NIM flyers
    • NIM uniform tax claim
    • Email gyms, try to get more work Meeting with one on Monday who potentially have up to 4 classes a week for me
    • Reply to recent emails that are starred
    • Call Stockton council see if they can help with code for 3 year old funding
    • DLA renewal form
    • Draft letter to schools
    • Get partial train ticket refund
    • Fill in OC Health questionnaire
    • Get knee x-ray
    • Send receipts to BWY
    • Do spreadsheet for FIL
    Bit less scary, not much
    Originally posted by Dinah93
    That list looks far more manageable now. Well done, you are ploughing through it!
    Total debt (starting September 2016): 24,451/27,000
    BOI credit card: 6,000/7,000
    Loan:18,451/ 20,000
    Emergency savings: 0/1000
    • Birdie85
    • By Birdie85 22nd May 17, 10:16 AM
    • 9,286 Posts
    • 40,069 Thanks
    Birdie85
    Hi all!

    Back from my holiday but not at all feeling refreshed from it, just exhausted! It was awesome though, Zach loved it and he's got major holiday blues now and keeps saying that it's too cold here and he wants to go on rides!

    Glad you've got a guesstimate for being back in the house Dinah, bad news about the quote mix-up though! Hope you can get the extension completed!

    With the 1 kid vs a brood decision, we were only ever thinking about having 2 max but it turns out that neither of us find the whole parenting thing comes totally naturally to us and we've struggled with one very easy child (controversial thing to admit perhaps that I don't simply adore every second of motherhood??) so we'd be pushing it if we had another, especially if the second was a bad sleeper etc. We know when we've got it good and we don't want to push it! We struggle to keep up with just him, I have no idea how people manage to wrangle 2 or 3 kids when they're out and about, not to mention that once you add more to the mix I can imagine that friends and family are a lot less keen to offer babysitting services! This also means that there's no immediate need to move house and we can afford to treat him more, and to actually live a nice enough life ourselves. We're strict with him so he's not, and never will be, a spoilt, bratty, only child and he's got 2 cousins already and there'll be more soon enough I reckon so he's got a decent family circle.

    And I really don't want to go through pregnancy and childbirth again!!!!

    Kavics, you have always had my total admiration for having Mini Kavics on your own. Even though it was far from your decision to do that, you've done so amazingly well and she's an awesome little girl. You must be so proud of both her and yourself.
    Overcome the notion that you must be ordinary. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary!
    Goal Weight 140lb Starting Weight: 160lb Current Weight 145lb
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 22nd May 17, 1:48 PM
    • 6,992 Posts
    • 24,511 Thanks
    wendz86
    That good potential news about the gym Dinah, fingers crossed.

    Glad you had a good holiday Birdie!

    I'm definitely not as motherly as I thought I would be. I love the books/blogs like Hurrah for Gin. 3 days with the two girls on my own with a cold was not particularly enjoyable this weekend. They do have their very cute moments though which makes it worthwhile.
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 23rd May 17, 9:20 PM
    • 11,140 Posts
    • 45,510 Thanks
    Dinah93
    No one enjoys parenting when they're ill. It's just not possible, we just yearn for when we could spend a few days in bed with a boxset and the Vicks.

    Gym signed me up for two long sessions a week at 30 each, and then when I start on the 8th we're arranging a time to start a 3rd session for another 20 Which not only is a family session which I love to teach, but also the session is free to the community not just members which I think is a brilliant offer ..... Then today I called another gym I know specalise in yoga, they're looking for a Friday morning class, so I'll either speak to him later in the week or go over after half term. They're also interested in another type of class I'm training in, so that might get going in September. Ben was set to start afternoon nursery in September, but I've moved him to mornings as 3/5 mornings are now taken up with classes compared to 1/5 afternoons, and I'm fairly sure I can fill the other two mornings once September rolls around. Thrilled it's all taking off so well.

    Aaaannd.... I was accepted onto pregnancy yoga teacher training. I should have had to wait at least another year, but my tutor gave an amazing recommendation and I got a place. Very very happy. So hopefully be adding that to my rosta from early 2018.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off 2,790.96/34,345.83 (8.13%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 24th May 17, 8:48 AM
    • 5,761 Posts
    • 25,072 Thanks
    Cinny91
    I think we're pretty much on the same page as to why we're sticking with one, Birdie. There's also the financial side for us, we do alright and as is we can afford to save a decent amount per month for his future and we're hoping to have enough for him that he'll have a good leg up into the adult world - to go to university, start a business or buy his first home. We definitely wouldn't be able to do that on the same scale for a second child, and I think especially for Rich it's very important for him to be able to do this for Oscar.

    Sounds like you had a good holiday! We've been looking at 4 nights at Disneyland Paris over Oscar's 2nd birthday but I can't quite twist Rich's arm on it. It's "only" working out around the 500 mark, which I think is a good deal!

    That's great about the classes, Dinah! Sounds like it's really taking off for you, you must be so glad you took to leap with it all

    House Deposit 20,000/20,000

    Weight loss 26/38lb GW: 150lb
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 26th May 17, 12:59 PM
    • 11,140 Posts
    • 45,510 Thanks
    Dinah93
    I am. The easier option obviously would have been to get a job somewhere, but this is something that gives me a massive sense of fulfillment, and I can fit it around the kids, so I feel it gives our family as a whole the best balance of seeing one another and happy me because I love my job.

    NIM has 150 of mystery shops lined up yesterday, today and tomorrow, so that's a good chunk of change, then he has a couple of handyman jobs in the coming week or so.

    My new Monday night yoga class is completely full, 3 places in the gentler Monday night one, and I think 4 places in the Friday, currently 7 on the Monday morning which is a problem, but if it doesn't fill up a bit then it will be cancelled.
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Do any alterations from weekends coursework
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Update website
    • Add mailing list function to website
    • Add online booking function to website
    • Design NIM logo
    • Order NIM flyers
    • NIM uniform tax claim
    • Email gyms, try to get more work
    • Reply to recent emails that are starred
    • DLA renewal form
    • Draft letter to schools
    • Get knee x-ray
    • Send receipts to BWY
    • Reply to email from Julie
    • Email to K & L&G
    • Invoice to studio
    • Try to reclaim yoga ticket money on insurance
    • Call Polygon
    Last edited by Dinah93; 26-05-2017 at 1:19 PM.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off 2,790.96/34,345.83 (8.13%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
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