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  • FIRST POST
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 15th Jun 16, 10:46 AM
    • 11,219Posts
    • 45,540Thanks
    Dinah93
    The Ultimate Incentive muddles along
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 16, 10:46 AM
    The Ultimate Incentive muddles along 15th Jun 16 at 10:46 AM
    Part 12. I have now been limping around these forums for the best part of a decade. I cleared it all, it all came back. It was nearly gone again, and it's grown almost to the max again. Somehow nearing that £16k debt figure always signals a change in the winds, something happens to make our finances go in a better direction for a few months, but then we hit a bump, fall off the wagon, down a cliff and into the deep dark sea. As well as a few maternity leaves and redundancy the biggest bump these last few years has been NIMs depression, where we can have no wages coming into the house for months on end, but also no ability to contribute in other ways so that I can work or even so I can do some home based money making.

    While the depression isn't in the best place right now, we are both committed to making it work as best we can, and my diary has always helped me, with the support and chatter of my amazing threadies. So, time to work out where we stand, and fill you in on what we plan to do about it.
    September debt clearance goal £0/£1950
    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
Page 20
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 19th Apr 17, 10:49 AM
    • 11,219 Posts
    • 45,540 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Apologies in advance if I cause offence/upset as a long time lurker! I would like to say firstly how I admire how you manage everything so well!
    Just a thought re selling your house- if it is in catchment of a fab school then might it be difficult to afford to buy again at in the same area as there's likely to be a very competitive market for houses there?
    Also my tuppenceworth, for what its worth or not, re your indecision re another baby- with your history of high risk in pregnancy and premature births ,is it worth risking your own life and possibly a baby's or potentially having another very ill baby while you have so much to cope with at present with your little girl's current and possibly future health needs and hospital appointments as well as the impact of NIM's considerable mental health issues- what would happen to your little family if something dreadful happened to you in a high risk pregnancy? It sounds dramatic but tragically it happened to a family local to me.Horrible thoughts,but I can't help but urge you to consider things carefully re your broodiness. With best intentions
    Originally posted by biglass
    No that's a very fair point and the main reason why we are still on the fence, but my balance is I try very hard not to allow fear to govern any decision in life, and my obstetrician believes the risk to me are extremely low, although there would continue to be the same risk to the baby as any other micro preemie. However at the moment I'm leaning towards no more, my two are wonderful and I get so much joy from them and I assume any other child would be the same as Cinny does, however I feel going for 3 might possibly spread my time with each of them thinner than I would like, given I work evenings so I'm limited to weekends already.

    We wouldn't have any issue getting another house here. It's a small town, with one secondary school (which is the amazing one) and 6 primaries - 3 are outstanding 2 are ofsted good, all of whom are undersubscribed. Looking on Rightmove there are 94 houses currently for sale within our budget in our area. We actually moved here by accident without knowing the schools were good as the houses were quite generous for the money due to being 1960s/70s and ugly as sin.
    • Call Woody
    • Email Nursery
    • Call HMRC
    • Call Car garage
    • Redirect mail again
    • Call/Email Peter
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Update class roster
    • Take poster to forest school
    • Pay room hire for forest school
    • Invoice JVC School for lessons
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Find Grace's uniform
    • Empty my car
    • Sort out my yoga bags
    • Pay Jean
    • Upload lake district photos
    • Upload suryalila photos
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Send all FBA parcels to Amazon
    • Finish assignment 1 alterations
    • Finish assignment 2 alterations
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Pack for house sitting
    • Medicash claim
    • Reply to all yoga emails
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Contact teacher friend re website booking hosting
    Last edited by Dinah93; 19-04-2017 at 12:28 PM.
    September debt clearance goal £0/£1950
    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • archersluck
    • By archersluck 19th Apr 17, 7:37 PM
    • 610 Posts
    • 2,242 Thanks
    archersluck
    thanks for the wedding wishes, we had such a perfect day! seems such a blur now. Our photographer did a blog post which makes me very excited for the rest of the photos now. Honeymoon was a blast, japan is such a cool country. Back to work was tough yesterday and OH started a new job too, we promised ourselves 6 months with no major life decisions post wedding ad we are burnt out!

    How's your house move going Cinny, are you moving far?

    Saving for a deposit: £11,621.15
    20/25lbs
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 19th Apr 17, 10:29 PM
    • 11,219 Posts
    • 45,540 Thanks
    Dinah93
    • Call Woody
    • Email Nursery
    • Call HMRC
    • Call Car garage
    • Redirect mail again
    • Call/Email Peter
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Update class roster
    • Take poster to forest school
    • Pay room hire for forest school
    • Invoice JVC School for lessons
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Find Grace's uniform
    • Empty my car
    • Sort out my yoga bags
    • Pay Jean
    • Upload lake district photos
    • Upload suryalila photos
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Send all FBA parcels to Amazon
    • Finish assignment 1 alterations
    • Finish assignment 2 alterations
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Pack for house sitting
    • Medicash claim
    • Reply to all yoga emails
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Contact teacher friend re website booking hosting
    • Email Linda
    • Update website
    • Email gyms, try to get more work
    Originally posted by Dinah93
    A week off and the world ends it seems - how to families cope where both work full time/single parent families?! I feel like we need a PA!
    September debt clearance goal £0/£1950
    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 20th Apr 17, 9:56 AM
    • 5,812 Posts
    • 25,093 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Your honeymoon did look fantastic, Archers! I don't blame you for taking a relaxed 6 months now, we have some spa vouchers from our birthday and our plan is as soon as we're settled in the new house we're booking a day off! We're not going far at all, just back to my hometown. Actually straight across the road from my parents
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 22nd Apr 17, 8:20 AM
    • 11,219 Posts
    • 45,540 Thanks
    Dinah93
    We've moved for the week - house sitting for friends. As much as I like spending more time with mum and dad it does feel great to have our own space again. Giving NIM a lie in then hoping he will take the kids out for a few hours so I can do some work on my essay as it's due in on Friday.

    • Call Woody
    • Email Nursery
    • Call HMRC
    • Call Car garage
    • Redirect mail again
    • Call/Email Peter
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Update class roster
    • Take poster to forest school
    • Pay room hire for forest school
    • Invoice JVC School for lessons
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Find Grace's uniform
    • Empty my car
    • Sort out my yoga bags
    • Pay Jean
    • Upload lake district photos
    • Upload suryalila photos
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Send all FBA parcels to Amazon
    • Finish assignment 1 alterations
    • Finish assignment 2 alterations
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Pack for house sitting
    • Medicash claim
    • Reply to all yoga emails
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Contact teacher friend re website booking hosting
    • Email Linda
    • Update website
    • Advertise new gentle class
    • Order groceries
    • Email gyms, try to get more work
    Originally posted by Dinah93
    September debt clearance goal £0/£1950
    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 24th Apr 17, 10:17 AM
    • 5,812 Posts
    • 25,093 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Hope you enjoy your week "away"! My parents are away this week so we're seeing to their left-behind-animals. Was shocked at how much more relaxed Rich and I are at their house over our own atm, didn't realise how much we dislike where we are at the moment and it's such a shame because we've made the house itself really lovely!

    How did you get on with your list? A friend got me a list pad and I need to start using it - you forget how satisfying ticking things off can be!!

    Have a couple things to post off following eBay sales today. Made £45 over the weekend on some of Oscar's old stuff, but had £160 worth of sales end yesterday. Joined a few FB groups for Oscar's pram brand but people really want something for nothing in terms of baby items. Don't want to take too much of a hit as my parents bought it for us, and we're putting whatever we get for it into savings for him, and savings are the only thing we planned to do when we were expecting him that worked out 😂😂
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 24th Apr 17, 11:06 AM
    • 7,064 Posts
    • 24,602 Thanks
    wendz86
    Glad you had a good wedding day Archers!

    Hope the list is going well Dinah.

    Sounds like some good sales Cinny. I ended up selling my travel system for about £15 (wasn't a very popular one) but did get used for two kids for around a year. I've got a few baby bits i need to carboot at some point. I give most the good stuff to my sister for my niece.

    Things have calmed down a bit for me after a couple of busy weeks with weddings/birthdays etc. Never felt so disorganized. Got a fairly quiet weekend planned apart from a 5k run through bubbles on Sunday..
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 24th Apr 17, 10:16 PM
    • 11,219 Posts
    • 45,540 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Do you have a local NCT branch? I sell baby things there. Clothes only sell in bundles at ours, but everything else sells really well - took 60 things to the last one, sold 53, made 118 (no pound symbol - keyboard thinks I'm American.... and it's been the 24th April for 5 days now. And it's 2018. How can it not keep time?!)

    Will update list tomorrow, but one thing that wasn't on there that should have been was order business cards as I keep being asked for one and don't have anything, so designed and ordered last night, and some flyers for a leaflet drop. First night of a new yoga block tonight, class numbers up from 4 to 9, I'd capped it at that as it's a small room, but actually I think it could happily take 12 so will open the list again and hopefully get some people from flyers and leaflet drop.

    Need to add onto the list design NUM a logo, reply to email requesting logo design, work out if we've been underpaid on accomodation allowance, post sling, return vest tops that didn't make the cut (I get through a lot as they always get worn under teaching clothing but they need to be long and clingy so they don't ride up), look into refund on festival, post sling, put ballet dates on calendar, pay for ballet club, email pregnancy teacher trainer, text woody and order NIM flyers to do his leaflet drop at the same time.
    Last edited by Dinah93; 25-04-2017 at 10:03 PM.
    September debt clearance goal £0/£1950
    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 25th Apr 17, 9:58 PM
    • 11,219 Posts
    • 45,540 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Came close to killing NIM tonight, he meets me at 5pm at ballet on a Tuesday, I then go on to work as I start at 5.45 and it's a 30 minute drive but I have to stop elsewhere to pick up my class register for the night, so I arrive around 5.40. Tonight he calls just after 5pm to say he hasn't even left work yet, so I had to yoink Grace out of her ballet class, drive both kids to my work and NIM met me there at 5.43 - nothing like cutting it fine. When he explained it it wasn't really his fault, however he should have managed his time himself really as my profesional reputation is kind of vital to getting work.

    "New" car is shot. Handing it back in the next few days and swapping it for something else. Shame he doesn't have anything else I really want!
    September debt clearance goal £0/£1950
    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 2nd May 17, 8:51 AM
    • 5,812 Posts
    • 25,093 Thanks
    Cinny91
    That must have been frustrating. It doesn't happen often but I get so wound up when Rich doesn't give my plans the same amount of consideration as his - must be even worse when it's work related as like you said, your business runs on word of mouth and reputation. At least you made it on time!

    That's a shame about the travel system going for so little but something is better than nothing - I'm on the opposite end of the scale in that our pram is very popular so they go for nothing as there's a surplus amount for sale and people seem to undercut each other to get rid

    Hope everyone had a nice BHW Trying to make this month as frugal as possible but Rich has a potential 2 nights in London, we've got a trip to Essex to see family and a few birthdays - but thankfully we've got the presents covered already.
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 2nd May 17, 9:20 AM
    • 6,082 Posts
    • 17,551 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Morning all!

    We had a lovely BHW but my brother and his family go back to Oz on Thursday and I am absolutely dreading it
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €21,973/€27,000
    BOI credit card: €6,000/€7,000
    Loan:€15,973/
    Savings: €0
    • roomontheend
    • By roomontheend 2nd May 17, 12:35 PM
    • 415 Posts
    • 1,676 Thanks
    roomontheend
    I had a lovely trip away with my friends over the BHW. Spent a lot but it has been planned for over a year. So I have budgeted for it. I am going a relook at our payments and outgoings tomorrow evening and do as much as I can to get the payments down. We could do a lot more if our card payments didn't take up so much of our monthly income. I can't wait for the day we are debt free and can start really enjoying life together. So back on full focus.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 832 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    Total debt feb 2012 = £54354.11
    Paid = £22641.01 Current = £31713.10
    Paid = £32464.73 Current = £21889.38

    paid = £33360.07 Carrent £20994.04
    • Birdie85
    • By Birdie85 2nd May 17, 3:42 PM
    • 9,286 Posts
    • 40,069 Thanks
    Birdie85
    Hi all!

    I haven't checked in on here for a while! Seems like everyone's keeping busy busy busy!

    Glad you weren't late for your class Dinah, it's so frustrating when other people make you late/threaten to make you late, must be extra frustrating when it's your professional reputation on the line!

    Well done on the ebay sales Cinny. We've still got loads of Zach's big baby stuff to get rid of but I just CBA with the selling of it all! It's all just at BIL's in storage as we weren't sure about having another baby but now we're pretty settled on no more kids we should really go sort it out... but that means actually going to BIL's to pick it up and storing it at ours whilst we get it all listed and sold and sending it off and blah... I just CBA!!! Maybe I'll sort it out soon???

    Glad you had a lovely wedding and honeymoon Archers!! Congratulations!

    We're a slightly miserable house at the moment, both of us have bad necks/shoulders/backs that we've realised have come about from years of carting Zach about. Rich also has an arthritic foot so our usual plans for free days of just walking places for miles and miles have gone to pot as it's too painful for him, despite pills and orthotics and physio etc. TBH he's been pretty depressed with it all since January, it's so difficult to be happy when you're in pain and can't be active, and we've not got the spare cash to fill our time with nice distractions. We're going on holiday on Sunday and seriously hoping that the warm weather and a change of scenery is good for us!!!

    Big hugs CMD for your brother going back home. Hope you see him again soon. You keep confusing me on FB too with your different name? Looks like you had a lovely time in Disneyland though!
    Overcome the notion that you must be ordinary. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary!
    Goal Weight 140lb Starting Weight: 160lb Current Weight 145lb
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 3rd May 17, 8:35 AM
    • 5,812 Posts
    • 25,093 Thanks
    Cinny91
    I actually gasped and whispered "Birdie!!" at my computer when I saw you were the last poster on this thread

    Could you maybe do a carboot with Zach's old stuff? That's our next plan with the bits left over, we're in the "no-more-kids" camp too and I've passed everything I can on to friends. Was going to ask if you wanted the bits your MIL knitted for Zach back? Got so many compliments on his reindeer hat last year she could probably start a multi-million pound business on those alone.

    That must be pretty frustrating for Rich, not just the pain part but he was super active with his rugby and things so it must feel even more debilitating. Then here I am, weak as all hell, pulling my shoulder by doing an over enthusiastic 2am dummy raid under Oscar's bed

    Must be heartbreaking when they leave, CMD! But we're lucky these days to have the technology that makes really long distances as easy as talking to someone down the road. Will it be long until you see him again?
    • Birdie85
    • By Birdie85 3rd May 17, 2:14 PM
    • 9,286 Posts
    • 40,069 Thanks
    Birdie85
    My shoulder first went 'pop' when I was leaning over the bed to grab Zach. Hardly an exciting injury story! Almost as good as Rich's, which was that his shoulder popped when he was towel drying his hair!! Bless him, he's started to feel like a mere mortal now, getting breathless when rushing etc where it never used to bother him.

    If you know of any babies cool enough to carry them off, pass the knitted bits on Cinny and Pay It Forward. If not, I know of a couple of babies who'll be old enough to wear them when they're seasonally appropriate.

    Oh and I don't car boot. I hate car booting! I usually spend the entire profit afterwards on nice food and drink to make me forget how much I hated the ordeal!
    Overcome the notion that you must be ordinary. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary!
    Goal Weight 140lb Starting Weight: 160lb Current Weight 145lb
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 3rd May 17, 2:36 PM
    • 5,812 Posts
    • 25,093 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Phew, at least I'm not alone! Rich was just throwing Oscar about the other week and threw his back out. These kids, breaking us in more ways than one!

    I was hoping the hat would stretch and last forever! I really got the most out of it, he had it on pretty much constantly Have a few friends trying to bagsy things (like the pirate jumper) so I can find them very good homes!

    To be fair my view on the carboot is wavering out of the house with a loaded up car for 6am on a Sunday?! Rich wants to bag clothes/toys up for the charity shop but if I hold anything in my hands that cost more than £10 my inner Scrooge comes out and I want some cold hard cash in return.
    • rubywhatashmoo
    • By rubywhatashmoo 4th May 17, 8:10 PM
    • 565 Posts
    • 3,360 Thanks
    rubywhatashmoo
    All of our old baby clothes have either been charity shopped or bagged up for friends - I'm with Birdie on the CBA front with it all, it's just more time and energy I don't have right now D: Saying that though I've still managed to keep a LOT of bits and pieces that have sentimental value - right now we're hoping at some point to have another child, but it'd be nice if no.2 was a girl! What's your ebay username Cinny?
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 8th May 17, 2:24 AM
    • 5,812 Posts
    • 25,093 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Have you thought about having the sentimental bits made into a keepsake bear/quilt Ruby? I'm making Oscar's super tiny bits into a bear, and then have a stash of my favourite sleepsuits/tops/coats for making into a quilt.

    It's the same as my usename on here I think!
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 8th May 17, 10:11 AM
    • 7,064 Posts
    • 24,602 Thanks
    wendz86
    I pass all the nice clothes on and toys to my niece. Any of the less nice clothes i charity bag . I'm hoping to do a car boot this summer but takes a bit of organisation with needing someone to look after kids.

    I am lucky that i get a load of clothes from my boss as her daughter is 6 months younger than Poppy but taller so grows out of stuff that fits Poppy. She has so many nice clothes I'm quite jealous.
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 10th May 17, 11:17 AM
    • 11,219 Posts
    • 45,540 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Sorry to hear about Rich's foot Birdie. Hope the sun helps it and lifts your moods a little.

    I didn't realise you were thinking of only one child Birdie, big decision to make but so long as you're happy with it then there is lots to look forward to once the baby phase is done with. I thought you'd decided on a brood as well Cinny after prior 'one and done' thoughts, there's plenty to be said for an only child, can give them more attention and experiences.

    Potty training here. This is without doubt the worst bit of childhood in my opinion. I'm so sick of cleaning poop. We've cracked it otherwise.

    Also in the cba camp for carboot - its about 8 hours out of my life to pack the car, drive over there, set up, sell, pack up, drive back, and after the fees for the pitch I'm very lucky to clear £30. I do always pass things on on local freebie groups through.

    The builders started on site on Monday!!!!! We're hoping to be back in by mid July (they say the start of, but I'm not sure that's accurate given the slow pace of things to date). It's all just a complete and utter shambles. The removal company have been 4 times now, and still haven't actually taken everything!

    Swapped my car for something that both stops and gos (the problems facing my most recent two cars). Yes the word gos is hurting my brain but an apostrophe hurts it too. But that was an extra £1000 I didn't want to be spending.

    Yoga teaching starting to take off well, I just need to build up some day time work. I have one day time class at present, with 6 people, I only take up to 10 in that studio. I really could do with finding some more day time work in gyms, residential centres or similar so there is no risk just guaranteed work. I'm going to send letters to a few out of area schools about teaching there, as I did a very daft thing and covered a class for a yoga bugs teacher last december, and that means I can't teach within their area for a year from that date.

    Feeling a bit of guilt that Ben has a special teacher come into nursery on a Wednesday do music and drama, and I've had to swap his nursery days this week and next because I've started this new morning class. I know nursery is for when I work rather than as a social outing for him - but so far I've always managed to time my work to fit with Wednesdays as he loves this session. He does look shattered today though so not sure if he's feeling a bit under the weather.

    Current to do list
    • Email Nursery
    • Call HMRC - no letter received
    • Call Car garage
    • Email Keith/Peter and raise merry hell
    • Email FIL
    • Update spreadsheet about house
    • Reply to yoga emails
    • Chase invoice from HH
    • Tidy bedroom
    • Upload birthday party photos
    • Send all FBA parcels to Amazon
    • Complete assignment 3
    • Do any alterations from weekends coursework
    • Send DVLA letter
    • Medicash claim
    • Email George from congress
    • Email Yoga leggs
    • Update website
    • Design NIM logo
    • Order NIM flyers
    • Order work tshirt
    • NIM uniform tax claim
    • Email gyms, try to get more work
    • Book ferry
    • Email tesco clubcard
    • Work out how to log onto instructors online system
    • Reply to recent emails that are starred
    • Get code for nursery place
    • Sort car insurance for new car
    • DLA renewal form
    • Apply for active kids funding
    • Book Manchester hotel for next training weekend
    • Book hotel for Leicester aqua yoga training day
    • Draft letter to schools
    • Email Cara
    • Return Grace's school trip letter and money
    • Do poster alterations for dad
    • Get partial train ticket refund
    Last edited by Dinah93; 10-05-2017 at 2:39 PM.
    September debt clearance goal £0/£1950
    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
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