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  • FIRST POST
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 15th Jun 16, 9:46 AM
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    Dinah93
    The Ultimate Incentive muddles along
    • #1
    • 15th Jun 16, 9:46 AM
    The Ultimate Incentive muddles along 15th Jun 16 at 9:46 AM
    Part 12. I have now been limping around these forums for the best part of a decade. I cleared it all, it all came back. It was nearly gone again, and it's grown almost to the max again. Somehow nearing that £16k debt figure always signals a change in the winds, something happens to make our finances go in a better direction for a few months, but then we hit a bump, fall off the wagon, down a cliff and into the deep dark sea. As well as a few maternity leaves and redundancy the biggest bump these last few years has been NIMs depression, where we can have no wages coming into the house for months on end, but also no ability to contribute in other ways so that I can work or even so I can do some home based money making.

    While the depression isn't in the best place right now, we are both committed to making it work as best we can, and my diary has always helped me, with the support and chatter of my amazing threadies. So, time to work out where we stand, and fill you in on what we plan to do about it.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off £1,734.73/£34,345.83 (5.05%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
Page 18
    • wendz86
    • By wendz86 2nd Mar 17, 8:49 AM
    • 6,987 Posts
    • 24,473 Thanks
    wendz86
    How are all these 'babies' getting so big! Happy belated birthday to them all and happy birthday to Max today.

    We only did one big party for Poppy when she was 4. She's more interested in just having a few friends now. Last year she did climbing and wants to do trampolining this year and we might take them for some dinner after.

    Kids are so much cuter when they are small . Childminder said to me yesterday she feels sorry for me when Poppy is a teenager . She is a right madam but she has such a character and does make me laugh.

    Things are all going good here. I have made a decision on the moving etc dilemma to stick where I am for a while. I seem to be getting by financially and we are all good and settled so seems silly to upset that.
    • archersluck
    • By archersluck 7th Mar 17, 4:59 PM
    • 589 Posts
    • 2,219 Thanks
    archersluck
    Just saw Dinahs FB post about the house so popped on to see if there was any update, sounds an absolute nightmare.

    can't believe how big all the threadie babies are getting!

    I get married in 18 days arghhh!!

    Saving for a deposit: £11,621.15
    20/25lbs
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 8th Mar 17, 8:12 AM
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    • 24,987 Thanks
    Cinny91
    18 days!! That's come up so fast, hope the weather picks up for you by then. How's all the planning going?

    I saw the post too. Absolutely dreadful how they seem to be being treated Hope she finds the time to come and post soon, do miss this thread when it's not around!

    House Deposit £20,000/20,000

    Loan Savings: £0/10500
    Weight loss 15/38lb GW: 150lb
    • archersluck
    • By archersluck 8th Mar 17, 9:02 PM
    • 589 Posts
    • 2,219 Thanks
    archersluck
    Me too, always nice when it's busy on here

    Planning is going ok... there was a meltdown I'm not proud of regarding orders of service on Sunday but we're over that now... Also hoping it's a nice day as we're walking through the museum gardens in York to get between the church and reception. Or we were until some unstable masonry collapsed and blocked the path. Gah!

    Saving for a deposit: £11,621.15
    20/25lbs
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 10th Mar 17, 10:42 AM
    • 11,121 Posts
    • 45,374 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Maybe I shouldn't have complained that NIMs depression made the house difficult to live in, the day after my last post the house showed us just how difficult it could be to live in by partially collapsing! A week later my car decided life wasn't worth living in the countryside and the brakes failed while I was doing 50mph with Ben in the back... resulting in me being the first person to do a handbrake doughnut stop on the crossroads of the next tiny village along. Took nearly a month for the mechanic to decide the car was far too much to repair to be worthwhile. So we've had to fork out £1295 for a new car after the trade in of the old one two weeks ago.

    We've now been out of the house for two months, living with my parents. We're settling into a bit of a more comfortable routine, at first mum really struggled with the ammount of 'stuff' in the house. The insurers did offer a hotel - but we wouldn't have cooking facilities and it just seems a really unsettled place for kids to live for months on end. The repairs haven't even really begun, which kind of takes the mick. They've partially stripped out the house, but not finished, and now it's been handed over to a new claims manageement firm as it went over the original budget. Drying will take 6 weeks, and they're not in yet. Then there is the refit. They initially offered us a £1,300 settlement to do the works ourselves, which we refused as it looked like a really big job, latest report says the budget is £68,000. Of all our decisions in life this looks like one of the wisest!

    The only real way to be at the moment is out the house a lot. We stay one night a weekend most weeks with our best friends, or go on a long day out with them. We tend to be out the house most of the weekend, park, forest school, swimming, children's birthday parties, walks by the river, days out to anywhere we can find a good voucher for etc. So this is a bit more of a cost than usual, as we'd usually only do one day a weekend out all day, however we're being sent £900 a month in accomodation allowance, of which we're sending mum and dad £565, so a little is going on the extra costs (including extra fuel as school run is now a 20 minute drive rather than a 8 minute walk), but we do still have some bonus money to pay off the debt each month. Of course all our bills on the house still have to be paid, although long term electric and gas should be very low for these months when it's empty. Water, mortgage, council tax, home insurance, car insurance, phone line, broadband are all fixed costs, have cancelled the tv licence. If anyone can think of anything else I might be able to cancel please suggest it as pretty on it with money atm.

    You'd hate Grace's party Birdie - there are two classes of 20 children in her year at school - all 40 invited. As well as 9 from gymnastics, 6 from ballet and 6 from her afterschool club, as well as about 15 we actually know from outside school. Won't all come but still, bedlam. Having sent out the invites it turns out the venue (dad's work) is actually double booked... and we booked in second... so may have to track down all these people and say 'oops, it's now in xyz village hall... nightmare! Just needed something to go smoothly. Hopefully by next year she might want fewer children, but she's extremely sociable, when we went to parents evening her teacher described her as 'everybody's best friend' which is lovely until it comes to a birthday party.

    Back on the loose weight band wagon too. 6.8lbs lost this week, which sounds insane but actually my medication was changed for my stageringly high blood pressure and one of the new ones is a strong diuretic so some of this is no doubt fluid. Went down to London in February to see a specalist bp team about a possible clinical trial, however I decided not to go ahead with it as the long term side effects that are emerging would be life changing and not in a positive way. Plus they don't think it would be safe in pregnancy, and still not decided on if we're done or not yet.

    When I last posted I was buying some printing equipment to take over the Etsy business. I did this, but in the last two weeks I've sold it back, as while I love the design side of things the production takes so much time that it's just not viable for me at the moment, so I think I need to focus on just the yoga business for the time being. In thefuture I may return to it, possibly as a digital business, or possibly I will try to find a company to do the production and shipping, similar to what I did with dad. Longer term plan though.

    Teaching is going fairly well, running 6 classes a week at the moment. All on a different basis. Of my two private classes one is one place off full while the other currently is almost empty (cover the room cost with £3 left for my petrol to get there, so no wage) ... but I desperately need to advertise it as presently I've told no one. NIM is coming along though which is nice.

    NIM has had a new diagnosis of borderline personality disorder alongside the depression, it makes a lot of sense, and he's started the specific therapy. It's early days but actually the last 2 weeks he's been really good so I can only hope and pray this continues as we were at breaking point. But when he's good everything is lovely and I have no remote desire to leave.

    Sorry I probably missed a step, did you buy a house Cinny, is that where your debt came from? Last I was on you had massive savings. Shh don't say the baby days are boring, I miss them so much, my two whirlwinds never stop and I find myself drooling over strangers babies in cafe's. Although a friend had a baby 2 months ago, I was having a cuddle the other day and Ben came over and saw her and he hit the roof 'GET OFF HER THAT'S MY MAMA NOT YOUR MAMA GO BACK TO YOUR MAMA GO AWAY BABY!' - at which he tries to push the baby out of my arms, and when huddedly handed back crawls into my lap and stays there for the next hour, glowering at the baby.

    So, actual figures. Feb 1st- March 1st we reduced the debt by £1,734.73. Not too shabby for people who bought a car and who don't currently have a house to ebay Although honestly not ebaying much anymore, bit more into the Kon Marie concept of just getting it out the door and having a clear head to focus on something more positive. I do still have the lady doing a bit of ebay for me, I sorted 3 bags out for her before we moved out and put them in the garage.... but they're starting to go mouldy and she's not ready for them so might all end up in the bin.

    We were given a grant for a caravan from a charity for Grace (lungs holding up okay, no change on heart, 6 week eye checks still ongoing, sensory processing diagnosis looking likely, possible autism diagnosis also coming but she's on the milder end of the spectrum if so) so we're taking our best friends away as a thank you for having us so much in April. First time we've done a holiday with friends, fingers crossed it goes well.

    Also spent a bit on 'thank you' treats for mum and dad, a long weekend in the lake district in April, and then taking mum away with the kids and I for 5 days in May/June to Disneyland Paris, as Grace is so desperate to go back (although it is mostly the hotel we stayed in she wants to go to I think, not actually Disney!). She's very much in that typical little girl princess phase atm, her birthday party is all princesses (and pirates at my insistence since there are 20 boys coming), in the car I'd give my right arm to listen to anything that isn't Moana, she sits and eats her dinner in a Belle dress... it's endless.

    Also going away myself next weekend, just one night, my friends and I are going on an 'old lady mystery tour' - basically turn up at the bus station and be taken lord knows where for the night, with a couple of trips on each day. But for £49 it sounded fun and it's guaranteed to be a 4* hotel so can't be too miserable.

    We're currently giving very serious consideration to extending the house while we're out, as the insurers are paying for a new kitchen so seems ideal to get it put into the new space rather than in a few years. We've been told with a kitchen extension and replacement conservatory in solid brick we'd add abour 50-60k to the value of our house. NIMs uncle is a builder, if he can find time to come over and do it it would only cost around £18k so would make us massive money as the plan is to put the house on the market as soon as we're back in, clear the remaining debt and buy somewhere else to do up with a smaller mortgage as if we do this we should have around 90-100k in equity after paying everything off, moving fees etc.

    So, in no coherent order, that's our life as it is at present. Only planning to update debt totals on the first of each month, have a background spreadsheet for running totals.
    Last edited by Dinah93; 10-03-2017 at 10:45 AM.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off £1,734.73/£34,345.83 (5.05%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 11th Mar 17, 11:59 AM
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    • 24,987 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Lovely to see you posting again! And I'm really glad to hear there's been a proper diagnosis for NIM. Hope things are on the up for you both now

    Does sound like things are coming together a bit better for you too! It all seems like a horrible start to the year but you do sound positive over it all. Afraid I can't think of any way to cut back on monthly costs, I know when my dad is renovating properties you can get a council tax break for a number of months? Have you done that? Gas you could potentially shut off completely which would just leave you with the daily standing charge, no idea if you can actually turn off the electric?!

    We still have our 20k savings (a bit more now with interest), the debt is a lovely number Rich threw at me last year that's a mixture of credit card debt built up from not wanting to say no to a pregnant woman/sleep deprived woman and then his car loan and student debt. We're on track to have it all paid off by October. Tried to talk to him about using our savings to pay it off but he's won't be swayed. So we're on a fairly frugal year!

    House Deposit £20,000/20,000

    Loan Savings: £0/10500
    Weight loss 15/38lb GW: 150lb
    • tootallulah
    • By tootallulah 11th Mar 17, 6:27 PM
    • 1,968 Posts
    • 6,832 Thanks
    tootallulah
    Great to hear from you Dinah, you sound very positive in what is clearly a very horrible time, good to hear Nim is improving too. Well done on the debt repayment.
    Mortgage House £173,000 July17th 2016.
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 11th Mar 17, 11:16 PM
    • 11,121 Posts
    • 45,374 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Tried to spend the evening getting back on the matched betting band wagon. Only actually managed one bet though as Grace seems to have an ear infection so hasn't really settled to sleep at all and keeps waking in tears poor thing.

    Finally got the payment through for accommodation from the Insurers from mid feb to mid April, our smallest credit card has just under £1k on it (literally just under, £996 or something similar) so we're going to pay that off. Also paid off the £150 or so that was owing to Next. After this our next smallest debt is about £2.5k, so will take a bit longer to clear.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off £1,734.73/£34,345.83 (5.05%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 12th Mar 17, 7:35 AM
    • 11,121 Posts
    • 45,374 Thanks
    Dinah93
    £560 paid off the credit card that has £994 on it, couldn't push to the full balance without going into the overdraft, however NIM has nearly £80 in his wallet from some handymanning yesterday, we're owed £120 from Medicash,and hopefully this week I can sell the last of my baby wraps or at least get them up for sale.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off £1,734.73/£34,345.83 (5.05%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • roomontheend
    • By roomontheend 12th Mar 17, 6:10 PM
    • 404 Posts
    • 1,658 Thanks
    roomontheend
    After read through your recent events I was expecting to get to the end and find that you had massively added to your debt but "oh my days", you managed to pay some off. Only you, Super job. You never stop surprising me.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 832 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    Total debt feb 2012 = £54354.11
    Paid = £22641.01 Current = £31713.10
    Paid = £32464.73 Current = £21889.38

    paid = £33360.07 Carrent £20994.04
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 14th Mar 17, 10:16 AM
    • 11,121 Posts
    • 45,374 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Next account paid off, one less payment to deal with. Need to return many pairs of ballet shoes I ordered online as I've found the one pair to fit me (binned all my flats at the end of last summer as without exception they had holes in!) which will make the accounts a bit healthier again.

    3 appointment letters through for Grace today, MIL has thankfully now stopped the trades on me needing to get a job... maybe has accepted I have a job - as a yoga teacher and as a designer and as a mum. I just don't see how I could work for someone else unless they were very understanding and flexible.

    NIM impressed me last night by coming in and building his handyman fb page - bear him in mind please anyone local if you or a friend or family member need some help in the house.

    No progress on our house, no one even booked in to survey, as ever, very unimpressive.

    Busy start to the week, when I plan my lessons and do some design work, bit later in the week I make some money.

    Really need to draw up some invoices today so I actually get paid, proving myself very ineffective at the money side of things with the yoga business.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off £1,734.73/£34,345.83 (5.05%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 14th Mar 17, 12:52 PM
    • 5,969 Posts
    • 17,226 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Phew - that was an epic update. I don't know how you've both coped with all that and stayed together but it is a testament to what a strong couple you are. We lived with my Mam and Dad for 6 months when Evie was a newborn and Max was 18 months. It was incredibly tough but you have to do what you have to do. We tried to stay out of the house as much as we could too.

    Glad to hear Grace's health is well. Are you far down the autism diagnosis route? What makes you think she has SPD? Evie definitely has sensory issues (awful tantrums over seams in socks, wearing certain clothes). Not sure it is SPD but I'm keeping an eye on it as it doesn't impinge on the day to day stuff.
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €25,474/€27,000
    BOI credit card: €6,600/€7,000
    Loan:€18,874/ €20,000
    Emergency savings: €700/€1000
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 14th Mar 17, 1:30 PM
    • 11,121 Posts
    • 45,374 Thanks
    Dinah93
    First appointment for SPD/autism spectrum concerns is at the end of April. It was raised by her teacher, and then my mum (also a teacher) happened to be sent on a training afternoon about SPD and she came back and said it summed Grace up perfectly. She's not visually sensitive, but she can be retching or crying from a bad smell the rest of us don't even notice for another 30 seconds and even then it's so mild we wouldn't care, she can't cope with loud noises, covers her ears if in a crowd (even a quiet one for example if I chat with a group of friends) or differentiate a louder sound in a busy place (lots of fun if she's running away across the playground towards the road, every other child and parent turns around but her!), she thinks tights and trousers are punishment, if she has to wear them she'll push them as far up her legs as she can and sleeves up over her elbows, she'd prefer to wear nothing if possible, she gets very upset at casual touch (arms bumping on the desk, a child brushing past her hanging up a coat etc) but is fine with definite touch such as a hug, she gets very upset at things like the indentations left by knickers, she has a lot of nightmares which can also be associated, the only reason I think autism spectrum has been mentioned is SPD is often considered on the spectrum, and she has quite a lot of issues around routine, she was hysterical at the weekend as NIM had been planning to go get his new riding hat but in the end didn't, she was so upset because he'd said he'd do something and now wasn't, even though it in no way affected her! The world ends if her gymnastics is cancelled on a Monday, or her auntie doesn't come over after ballet on a Tuesday etc. She easily cries 10-20 times a day as she just gets overwhelmed. In our case it really is impacting day to day and I'm hoping there might be a therapy to help her manage her emotions when she feels overwhelmed.

    Not sure we're strong so much as stubborn, but right now I'm glad we're still hanging in there.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off £1,734.73/£34,345.83 (5.05%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 14th Mar 17, 3:05 PM
    • 5,969 Posts
    • 17,226 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    First appointment for SPD/autism spectrum concerns is at the end of April. It was raised by her teacher, and then my mum (also a teacher) happened to be sent on a training afternoon about SPD and she came back and said it summed Grace up perfectly. She's not visually sensitive, but she can be retching or crying from a bad smell the rest of us don't even notice for another 30 seconds and even then it's so mild we wouldn't care, she can't cope with loud noises, covers her ears if in a crowd (even a quiet one for example if I chat with a group of friends) or differentiate a louder sound in a busy place (lots of fun if she's running away across the playground towards the road, every other child and parent turns around but her!), she thinks tights and trousers are punishment, if she has to wear them she'll push them as far up her legs as she can and sleeves up over her elbows, she'd prefer to wear nothing if possible, she gets very upset at casual touch (arms bumping on the desk, a child brushing past her hanging up a coat etc) but is fine with definite touch such as a hug, she gets very upset at things like the indentations left by knickers, she has a lot of nightmares which can also be associated, the only reason I think autism spectrum has been mentioned is SPD is often considered on the spectrum, and she has quite a lot of issues around routine, she was hysterical at the weekend as NIM had been planning to go get his new riding hat but in the end didn't, she was so upset because he'd said he'd do something and now wasn't, even though it in no way affected her! The world ends if her gymnastics is cancelled on a Monday, or her auntie doesn't come over after ballet on a Tuesday etc. She easily cries 10-20 times a day as she just gets overwhelmed. In our case it really is impacting day to day and I'm hoping there might be a therapy to help her manage her emotions when she feels overwhelmed.

    Not sure we're strong so much as stubborn, but right now I'm glad we're still hanging in there.
    Originally posted by Dinah93

    That's great that you've got the ball rolling anyway and that her teacher flagged it. Definitely wise to get it all checked out, especially if it is impacting on her day. I've worked in the disability sector for 20 years now and early intervention is so important.

    Evie absolutely hates tights as well. Most nights she will just wear knickers and a t-shirt to bed. She used to only wear boys underpants as she found them more comfy but is okay with knickers now as long as I fix them for her.
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €25,474/€27,000
    BOI credit card: €6,600/€7,000
    Loan:€18,874/ €20,000
    Emergency savings: €700/€1000
    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 17th Mar 17, 8:21 AM
    • 11,121 Posts
    • 45,374 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Poorly Ben day yesterday so not much achieved, few designs (still do freelance design just not my etsy shop because I have no time for production) for dad (2hrs), booked the car into the garage, finally got hold of graces physio. Nims mood flipped from good to short and snappy on Saturday so we're nearly a week into what I think of as yellow days, hoping we go back to green soon. I've been trying to track his moods using a sort of traffic light system, see if I can see any event that sets off an episode, but also see if over time he's getting better or worse.

    Hair cut for me this morning, something I only manage twice a year. Then home try to get some free bets on for Cheltenham, finish my lesson plan for this afternoon then two classes to teach this evening. Book group after work then all staying at best friends house. Me and her are off on a mystery tour of all things tomorrow with 3 other friends, nim has been told so long as he takes the kids to their art class he can do whatever he fancies the rest of the weekend and mum will have the kids. Of course being given a rigid 'do this and this is the consequence', even if it's positive for him, means he's gone the opposite way and said he won't take them to their class and he'll just take them to our house all weekend (with no floors) and sleep there. I hate bpd so much it's like trying to reason with someone whose language you don't speak.
    LBM 01/11/2016
    Paid off £1,734.73/£34,345.83 (5.05%)

    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 21st Mar 17, 8:18 AM
    • 5,748 Posts
    • 24,987 Thanks
    Cinny91
    Good luck with the appointment with Grace, must be awful for her to get so upset over changes in plans like that among other things. Poor kid! Must be extremely difficult to have your mind function differently than most people.

    Hope you had a nice little get away!

    My car is at the garage today to have a tyre replaced (noticed a bulge on the sidewall on Saturday!) so just hoping that isn't a really big expense, because obviously it's unbudgeted! Having them look at a dent in the side of my car that's been there since August too. Was debating getting a "tis but a scratch" sticker to go above it but OH says this is a better use of our money. Psh.

    Had a lovely weekend though despite the rain. £4 spent on Saturday for parking to go on a Gruffalo trail, thinking of getting a annual pass for the parking as Sherwood Pines is really close and it will be perfect for over summer. We're also toying with the idea of English Heritage too so it just depends on the ££.

    House Deposit £20,000/20,000

    Loan Savings: £0/10500
    Weight loss 15/38lb GW: 150lb
    • archersluck
    • By archersluck 21st Mar 17, 9:54 AM
    • 589 Posts
    • 2,219 Thanks
    archersluck
    Where did the mystery tour take you Dinah?
    I bet npd is incredibly difficult for you, hope you're back to green days soon x

    hope the car repairs arent too painful Cinny.

    4 days until the wedding, weather forecast looking ok! I'm veering between estatic excitment, feeling fear like my heart had been plunging into cold water and sobbing at everything. practised our vows last night and I was a mess!

    Saving for a deposit: £11,621.15
    20/25lbs
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 21st Mar 17, 10:30 AM
    • 5,969 Posts
    • 17,226 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Where did the mystery tour take you Dinah?
    I bet npd is incredibly difficult for you, hope you're back to green days soon x

    hope the car repairs arent too painful Cinny.

    4 days until the wedding, weather forecast looking ok! I'm veering between estatic excitment, feeling fear like my heart had been plunging into cold water and sobbing at everything. practised our vows last night and I was a mess!
    Originally posted by archersluck
    Oh wow Archers - how exciting for you!!! Keeping everything crossed for beautiful weather
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €25,474/€27,000
    BOI credit card: €6,600/€7,000
    Loan:€18,874/ €20,000
    Emergency savings: €700/€1000
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 21st Mar 17, 10:31 AM
    • 5,969 Posts
    • 17,226 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Poorly Ben day yesterday so not much achieved, few designs (still do freelance design just not my etsy shop because I have no time for production) for dad (2hrs), booked the car into the garage, finally got hold of graces physio. Nims mood flipped from good to short and snappy on Saturday so we're nearly a week into what I think of as yellow days, hoping we go back to green soon. I've been trying to track his moods using a sort of traffic light system, see if I can see any event that sets off an episode, but also see if over time he's getting better or worse.

    Hair cut for me this morning, something I only manage twice a year. Then home try to get some free bets on for Cheltenham, finish my lesson plan for this afternoon then two classes to teach this evening. Book group after work then all staying at best friends house. Me and her are off on a mystery tour of all things tomorrow with 3 other friends, nim has been told so long as he takes the kids to their art class he can do whatever he fancies the rest of the weekend and mum will have the kids. Of course being given a rigid 'do this and this is the consequence', even if it's positive for him, means he's gone the opposite way and said he won't take them to their class and he'll just take them to our house all weekend (with no floors) and sleep there. I hate bpd so much it's like trying to reason with someone whose language you don't speak.
    Originally posted by Dinah93
    How was the mystery tour? Hope you had a well deserved break away.

    Hoping for lots of green days soon
    Total debt (starting September 2016): €25,474/€27,000
    BOI credit card: €6,600/€7,000
    Loan:€18,874/ €20,000
    Emergency savings: €700/€1000
    • Cinny91
    • By Cinny91 21st Mar 17, 10:32 AM
    • 5,748 Posts
    • 24,987 Thanks
    Cinny91
    I can't believe your wedding is so close, Archers! Always loved your style so I'm sure it's going to be beautiful Our vows were super basic because 1) we both hate the focus being on us so wanted them over quickly and 2) I was 7 months pregnant and very emotional (cried just thinking of X-Files during that beautiful phase) and I still got a little bleary eyed on the day. It's a big deal, kind of impossible to not get a bit emotional so just let it run over. Hope you two have a fantastic day!

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