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  • FIRST POST
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 31st May 16, 2:36 PM
    • 1,126Posts
    • 4,302Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Joined 31.05.16
    • #1
    • 31st May 16, 2:36 PM
    Joined 31.05.16 31st May 16 at 2:36 PM
    Day 1. 31.5.16
    I hope I am posting in the right place. I need to keep a spending diary where its not just me that sees it. I have around £14,500 in debt. This is split over 5 different lenders.

    £2450 Bankloan
    £3225 0% credit card
    £3620 0% credit card
    £2500 overdraft
    £2800 credit card 18%

    I have a lot of outgoings, live on my own (mortgage) recently had some expensive home improvements which I think were essential.

    I am slowly paying things off but one of my biggest battles is with my best friends who seem to be constantly putting pressure on me to do expensive things and get upset when i cant - making my battle twice as hard. Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me.

    My other main worry is that if my parents ever found out they would be heartbroken, I am 30 and shouldn't have let this happen. Im keeping my diary and working hard to fix. Day 1.
Page 55
    • fay66
    • By fay66 25th Nov 17, 4:49 PM
    • 663 Posts
    • 1,570 Thanks
    fay66
    nice thread .. im psl too empty nest syndrome, dont know what to do with debts, or to stall some. wish id never got back into credit cards
    Inland revenue £4500=
    Loan £2610
    Pay day loans - 135+600+300+300
    Credit card 1 - 5186
    CC2 -1038
    CC3 - 548 cc4 234
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 26th Nov 17, 2:12 PM
    • 1,126 Posts
    • 4,302 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Hello Fay. I feel my thread has become a bit hopeless. Not sure what will happen. But think I need to move jobs and add the debt to the mortgage and sort of "start again".
    It's payday tommorow at least. Much needed.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • fay66
    • By fay66 26th Nov 17, 3:22 PM
    • 663 Posts
    • 1,570 Thanks
    fay66
    Hello Fay. I feel my thread has become a bit hopeless. Not sure what will happen. But think I need to move jobs and add the debt to the mortgage and sort of "start again".
    It's payday tommorow at least. Much needed.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    Yes I can see where your comming from I dont own my own home, I did in the good old days but was spending then silly been bancrupt once, Im going to try and rein these in or I wont learn
    Inland revenue £4500=
    Loan £2610
    Pay day loans - 135+600+300+300
    Credit card 1 - 5186
    CC2 -1038
    CC3 - 548 cc4 234
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 29th Nov 17, 11:25 PM
    • 1,126 Posts
    • 4,302 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    I'm not sure I will ever learn either. I watched my mum struggle to feed everyone and we have some photos that show a completely poverty stricken household.
    My mum says that it was the same for everyone in the 80s but there are photos of her where she looks like she hasn't eaten for days.

    I always said that I didn't want to be in the same position and never had any interest in starting a family (obviously it's a good job really given that I am single towers). But never expected to be so poor from my own making.

    i am doing all the right things now but worry that I have left it too late and got in too deep.
    Kind of just doing one day at a time approach which seems to work better than big sweeping plans.

    since payday
    £30 train ticket
    £2.80 coffee
    £10 cleaning supplies
    £2 book
    £5 watch battery
    £8 Lidl

    Thursday -
    possible small top up shop
    Mortgage payment
    last day of the month.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • fay66
    • By fay66 29th Nov 17, 11:42 PM
    • 663 Posts
    • 1,570 Thanks
    fay66
    Theres a lot of us in same boat unfortunately our wages arent increasing with the cost of living. Its the fat rats that are getting richer. single people seem to be forgot,
    Inland revenue £4500=
    Loan £2610
    Pay day loans - 135+600+300+300
    Credit card 1 - 5186
    CC2 -1038
    CC3 - 548 cc4 234
    • helsbell
    • By helsbell 30th Nov 17, 7:38 AM
    • 148 Posts
    • 786 Thanks
    helsbell
    I'm not sure I will ever learn either. I watched my mum struggle to feed everyone and we have some photos that show a completely poverty stricken household.
    My mum says that it was the same for everyone in the 80s but there are photos of her where she looks like she hasn't eaten for days.

    I always said that I didn't want to be in the same position and never had any interest in starting a family (obviously it's a good job really given that I am single towers). But never expected to be so poor from my own making.

    i am doing all the right things now but worry that I have left it too late and got in too deep.
    Kind of just doing one day at a time approach which seems to work better than big sweeping plans.

    since payday
    £30 train ticket
    £2.80 coffee
    £10 cleaning supplies
    £2 book
    £5 watch battery
    £8 Lidl

    Thursday -
    possible small top up shop
    Mortgage payment
    last day of the month.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    This is a lovely post, and maybe gives some insight into your attitude to money now. You know you don't want to be in that position, but at the same time you're fed up being 'poor' so you refuse to act it and treat yourself to all the things you want instead of choosing just one.

    Its also easier if, as your mum said, everyone is in the same boat. When everyone around you seems to be able to spend money like water, you automatically feel poor if you don't do the same.

    You seem to be doing a good job of not comparing yourself quite so much to others lately. Maybe that's the key for you.
    SPC 11, No. 062

    August 2017 B'card £5006.83 BoS £1086.59 DFD November 2020
    • maddiemay
    • By maddiemay 30th Nov 17, 8:43 AM
    • 3,207 Posts
    • 28,189 Thanks
    maddiemay
    Still cheering you along, but cannot post properly on this tablet, creaky hands better suited to keyboard not pointy stick thing!
    Take care, you will get there, you have achieved so much in your life already. Just keep plodding along. As for the 80's it was so tough, don't want to revisit!!
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 30th Nov 17, 10:42 AM
    • 3,483 Posts
    • 9,896 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    Sometimes a fresh start is just what you need and we will all be here for you when you are ready to get back on the DFW journey.

    Dxxx
    Starting Debt - £15,000
    Remaining Debt - £980

    Starting Weight - 16st 7lbs
    Current Weight - 15st 9lbs
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 30th Nov 17, 10:33 PM
    • 4,518 Posts
    • 13,262 Thanks
    Verbatim
    A fresh start could easily mean a new journey building up more debt on top of what is consolidated on to the mortgage if more is spent than
    earned.
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 1st Dec 17, 12:40 AM
    • 725 Posts
    • 4,714 Thanks
    armchairexpert
    I agree with Verbatim.

    PSL, you've made a few decisions which are aimed at making things easier for you (i.e., more spending money) rather than getting rid of the debt faster, including paying off a loan instead of the cards. And you say that it feels psychologically better, and you have to live, and it's hard as a single person. But you've been doing this for years, and your spending isn't really much improved, is it? You've said before you won't post an SOA because it'll show a lot of discretionary spending that you don't want to get rid of.

    The thing is, there's just no magic solution to this. Consolidating debt, for someone who feels economising as a burden and is prone to overspends, is going to end in disaster. I wish that wasn't true. But it is. Why on earth would 'starting again' work, when nothing's changed?
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
    14 August 2017 - Refinanced: $220,000
    November 2017 - $216,000.00 Current MFD 31 July 2035
    • StokieBecks
    • By StokieBecks 1st Dec 17, 7:39 PM
    • 4,400 Posts
    • 26,521 Thanks
    StokieBecks
    If you seriously want a fresh start, sell your flat, move somewhere a lot cheaper (not London) and go from there.

    Hard to define poor as it is all relative ...my income is way less than yours and would love the disposable income you seem to have but I am chipping away at all my debts, not adding to them but still buy myself things/enjoy days out/treats etc when I want to .

    My big concern is that you will add your debt to the mortgage but won't have changed your habits so will still spend on cards, adding more to your debt and what happens if your mortgage payments increase with a rise in interest rates and go above your affordability and you risk losing everything?

    Obviously none of us are walking your journey we can only advise as we see it but for things to change you have to change your spending habits. Otherwise it will just be a viscious circle.

    Maybe it is now time to speak to a debt charity and see what they advise.
    • fay66
    • By fay66 1st Dec 17, 8:59 PM
    • 663 Posts
    • 1,570 Thanks
    fay66
    evening psl hope your ok, I am 51 and been bancrupt and now a bit of a mess if I can get myself out of it , Im sure you can x
    Inland revenue £4500=
    Loan £2610
    Pay day loans - 135+600+300+300
    Credit card 1 - 5186
    CC2 -1038
    CC3 - 548 cc4 234
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 1st Dec 17, 10:47 PM
    • 1,126 Posts
    • 4,302 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Advice noted thank you.

    i don't live very close to London at all. It's about 40 miles away in a town with few jobs. If I sell now I will never get back on the property ladder.

    This is kind of my outlet. Not really so much of a request to be criticised.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • StokieBecks
    • By StokieBecks 2nd Dec 17, 10:04 AM
    • 4,400 Posts
    • 26,521 Thanks
    StokieBecks
    No one is criticising you PSL we are all offering advice based on how we see things from what you post,maybe a public forum isn't the place for you to do this and that is fine but everyone on this forum are here for the same reasons to try and clear our debts (some have cleared and are here to help and support others)

    If you need an outlet and feel those who offer their opinion are criticising maybe keep a private diary somewhere.

    We cannot help if you don't want us to.

    I wish you all the best and hope you come to a solution that works for you

    Good luck.
    • louby40
    • By louby40 2nd Dec 17, 4:11 PM
    • 1,188 Posts
    • 3,262 Thanks
    louby40
    I agree with StokieBecks no one here is criticising you, we can only offer suggestions from what you post.

    I think you sound like a really lovely person whose struggling with the demands of peer pressure and keeping up with a certain lifestyle/ group of people

    I don’t think you have had your TRUE light bulb moment yet. When you do, you will become obsessed with spending as little as possible and will not care about coats, shoes and handbags.

    Only by stopping and not buying unnecessary items will you ever reduce your debt.
    Parent loan PAID IN FULL
    Emergency fund £670/£1000. Christmas savings £50/£600 Car maintenance £100/600
    Kitchen July £12,493 NOV £10,493. 18% paid off
    Barclaycard £142
    Car loan £2696 Mortgage £94,992
    TOTAL DEBT (with mortgage) = £108,323 (without mortgage) = £13,331
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 3rd Dec 17, 11:19 AM
    • 1,126 Posts
    • 4,302 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    im just doing my best and posting here because I have nobody to talk to about debts. And it helps me. Which is kind of the idea.
    I don't really need a battle here on top of the money battles.

    I understand if I spend too much I will never get out of debt.
    And I understand that I can't add it to the mortgage and overspend yes.

    And I understand that I need to watch mortgage rates.
    And yes I understand that people think I haven't had my lightbulb moment.
    And i understand that people think it's a bad idea adding the debts to the mortgage.
    None of these points need to be repeated.





    But I am just taking it one day at a time.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • louby40
    • By louby40 3rd Dec 17, 11:37 AM
    • 1,188 Posts
    • 3,262 Thanks
    louby40
    (((hugs))) to you PSL
    Parent loan PAID IN FULL
    Emergency fund £670/£1000. Christmas savings £50/£600 Car maintenance £100/600
    Kitchen July £12,493 NOV £10,493. 18% paid off
    Barclaycard £142
    Car loan £2696 Mortgage £94,992
    TOTAL DEBT (with mortgage) = £108,323 (without mortgage) = £13,331
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 3rd Dec 17, 11:56 AM
    • 4,837 Posts
    • 9,136 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    im just doing my best and posting here because I have nobody to talk to about debts. And it helps me. Which is kind of the idea.
    I don't really need a battle here on top of the money battles.

    I understand if I spend too much I will never get out of debt.
    And I understand that I can't add it to the mortgage and overspend yes.

    And I understand that I need to watch mortgage rates.
    And yes I understand that people think I haven't had my lightbulb moment.
    And i understand that people think it's a bad idea adding the debts to the mortgage.
    None of these points need to be repeated.


    But I am just taking it one day at a time.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    That is exactly why the forum is here PSL to post here for support and ideas as debt is not spoken about IRL normally. You have said yourself that your parents don't know, so presumably neither do your siblings so you cannot lean on your family for support and as you currently don't have a partner that makes it doubly hard so please continue to post. You live in an expensive city which isn't easy and are trying to maintain a lifestyle presumably comparable to your peers.

    I think people are concerned for you which is why they, myself included counsel against some of the things you are considering but that is all we can do and please do not take it as attacking you although when you read some of the posts in isolation I can understand you feel a little defensive. We are here to help and support but ultimately it is down to you how you deal with it. I do hope though that you continue to watch your spending and your budget as in the long run it is you that will benefit from solid finances. Keep posting and taking it one day at a time and in the long run these small changes and economies will reap rewards.
    2 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
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