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    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 31st May 16, 2:36 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    Joined 31.05.16
    • #1
    • 31st May 16, 2:36 PM
    Joined 31.05.16 31st May 16 at 2:36 PM
    Day 1. 31.5.16
    I hope I am posting in the right place. I need to keep a spending diary where its not just me that sees it. I have around £14,500 in debt. This is split over 5 different lenders.

    £2450 Bankloan
    £3225 0% credit card
    £3620 0% credit card
    £2500 overdraft
    £2800 credit card 18%

    I have a lot of outgoings, live on my own (mortgage) recently had some expensive home improvements which I think were essential.

    I am slowly paying things off but one of my biggest battles is with my best friends who seem to be constantly putting pressure on me to do expensive things and get upset when i cant - making my battle twice as hard. Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me.

    My other main worry is that if my parents ever found out they would be heartbroken, I am 30 and shouldn't have let this happen. Im keeping my diary and working hard to fix. Day 1.
Page 50
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 3rd Sep 17, 2:41 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    Aww Coastal I am very sorry. Hope your other half is taking care of you (I am sure he is)
    Sending you love. xxx
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • SusieT78
    • By SusieT78 3rd Sep 17, 3:24 PM
    • 52 Posts
    • 98 Thanks
    SusieT78
    Thanks DSL. I always feel a bit sorry for people that have read everything from the beginning! So apologies for boring you and Also the lack of movement!
    It will come together but taking time and is quite hard.
    I have been thinking that I have too many friends. I used to have very few and that was good for spending but recently things have got busier and social circle has become much bigger with more going on.
    Which sounds much better than only having a few friends but is draining the finances. I have a plan.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    Back in the day when I was both single and much better with my money I often used to stick to soft drinks so I could still go to social events but not spend too much. If everyone was going for a meal I'd go out for a couple of soft drinks with them before they moved on to eat. Then I'd go home for my dinner. That way I still felt social and didn't get lonely but didn't spend money I didn't have (if only I'd stuck with not spending money I didn't have ) Would something like that be an option for you if you don't want to miss out on any of the events?

    Fully agree. This week has told me EXACTLY who my real friends are after a miscarriage. You sadly only find out who you can rely upon when times are tough. A lot of people are basically selfish see you next tuesdays
    Originally posted by coastalchick
    Sorry for your loss coastalchick. Hope you are getting all the support you need.
    • StokieBecks
    • By StokieBecks 6th Sep 17, 6:31 PM
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    StokieBecks
    Sorry for your loss coastalchick ... Take good care of yourself

    How's it going PSL? How has the week been so far?
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 6th Sep 17, 11:41 PM
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    Verbatim
    Yes. How are you doing PSL?
    x
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 7th Sep 17, 10:13 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    It's OK. Work is quite gruelling right now. Difficult on a lot of levels.
    I fear I may have misrepresented friend with the handbag. She showed me hers after admiring mine, as mine is also designer (but it was in the sale so much less than it looks). She thought they were in the same priceband.

    Getting there slowly. 3NSDs so far this month. And having beans on toast a few nights. But going out for lunch tommorow and social on Saturday and 2 nights next week.
    Trying to make do and mend.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 7th Sep 17, 11:28 PM
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    Verbatim
    Enjoy your handbag! Have you got some strategies worked out for socialising on your budget? Keep to whatever the plan is and don't spend more than budgeted and you'll be fine.
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • StokieBecks
    • By StokieBecks 8th Sep 17, 7:49 AM
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    StokieBecks
    Don't spend time fretting about your friend. Seems like a bit of a vicious circle, she admired a handbag of yours so she went out and treated herself to impress you and that made you jealous and want a new one. It's a bit like "keeping up with the Joneses" ...just keep reminding yourself that the material things aren't so important, true friends like you for who you are not what you own.

    Have you got a budget for social every month that you set aside once all the essentials are paid? As verbatim says stick to it so you have enough to get you through until next payday.

    You know you can do it, it is a slow process for us all but don't let that get you down .... Make small goals that are easy to reach and each time you reach that goal make another small goal...small steps can often motivate you more than just one big aim of being debt free. Yes that's the ultimate goal but that comes after meeting other little goals along the way.

    Sorry am probably rambling, it's nothing against you as it's a complete different world living in London as you do compared to mine. I don't get all the social engagements with work colleagues as I happily never see mine outside of work haha, they are just assosciates
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 8th Sep 17, 9:15 AM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    coastalchick
    Yes, I agree, material things are so not important - you cant take them with you. The love of true friends is really the best thing you could have.

    Do you have a pet PSL? Just thinking that I found having my cat was great for me.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 8th Sep 17, 8:27 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    You're not Rambling at all Stockie Becks I ageee with you 100%. It's one of my goals to change my work environment. Current office is very young and moneyed. I think I need to work somewhere with older people and more normality. I am working on this. It does need to shift.

    The handbags are quite silly! I only bought mine as a major treat and I knew at the time it was silly. But (not justification) it was much cheaper than people think so kind of an investment (sort of) and will keep for years and years. (I know it's silly)


    Out once more socially and 2 paid for work nights before payday although I think may be going to pub on 23rd. Not too much this month or next.
    Trying to drink less overall. Like the alcohol free ginger beer quite a lot and most people don't realise it's alcohol free so this will help. (Drink less, spend less, come home earlier etc)
    Hard to budget Cerbatim but Ian trying hard.

    Coastal I do have a pet but I haven't written about pet at all as I don't really like writing about specifics but I am absolutely potty about pet.
    At the weekends we just hang out together and I am completely content.
    pet is quite grouchy and less enthusiastic about time spent together so it can sometimes feel quite one sided but I am completely obsessed and can not imagine life without pet.

    It's so nice to be home on a Friday night, sober and not exhausted. Watching mastermind and drinking tea and bowing to be good for the rest of month.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • louby40
    • By louby40 8th Sep 17, 9:17 PM
    • 1,078 Posts
    • 2,996 Thanks
    louby40
    I love Fridays! We've had home made chicken sweet and sour, I've drunk half a bottle of Prosecco and shared a bag of pop corn with my DP.

    No plans at all for the weekend, maybe the gym and a visit to Home Bargains - not to mention a lot of cleaning, washing and ironing!
    Parent loan PAID IN FULL Sealed Pot Challenge 10 #572
    Emergency fund £500/£1000. Christmas savings £400/£600
    Kitchen July £12,493 SEPT £11,493. 12% paid off
    Barclaycard £442
    Car loan £3278 Mortgage £96,197
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 8th Sep 17, 9:42 PM
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    Cumbria lass
    Have a lovely weekend PSL. , restful if you get chance .
    Aug 2017 CC1 £3549 CC 2 £1000

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 9th Sep 17, 11:04 AM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    coastalchick
    So glad you have a pet! And I know what you mean about one sided - my cat wants cuddles on his terms! This morning he snuck up behind my legs whilst I was asleep which was lovely. But now he's upstairs on his beanbag refusing to come down!

    And I don't necessarily think a handbag is silly. I did spend a decent amount on a black handbag (michael kors) but only because I use it for work every day (well, 4 days a week!) so wanted something which would last, especially because if I ever go back to fee earning, I will likely be in lots of meetings off site which would require my handbag! So I get that for a "classic". I do know of people who buy a new (designed) one every season which I do think is a waste, even if they can afford it. But I think one good handbag is fine.

    Your friday night sounds lovely. I love friday nights too. Years ago, it would be straight down the pub after work spending on bottles of white wine then either food or take away on way home, waking up feeling horrendous and not remembering what I'd done half the time. I suppose it's easier now I have OH as I don't do that sort of thing anymore but had become tired of it and was doing it less before him. Last night we had a massaman curry I'd made in slow cooker (which was nice but a bit oily!!!), red wine and watched a film then went to bed at 930!!
    • penny*pincher
    • By penny*pincher 10th Sep 17, 11:26 AM
    • 43 Posts
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    penny*pincher
    Hi PSL. Just dropping in and catching up. I do hope you are keeping well and you have some positive things to look forward to. Debt clearing can be so emotionally draining, I know.

    Glad to hear you have a pet.. I have two and although they have their own grouchy personalities at times, I wouldn't be without them
    Help to Buy ISA: July 2017 £1200.00, August 2017 £1400.00, September 2017 £1604.01
    Savings: July 2017 £13,312.56, August 2017 £14,312.56, September 2017 £17,513.71
    - And so you all know - I absolutely LOVE Christmas!!
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 11th Sep 17, 9:42 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    Awww yes I don't know what I would do without pet. Would love to get another one too.

    The social is an absolute nightmare to be quite frank. I need to shed friends and stop drinking.
    Not sure how to manage this. It has reached new levels I think.

    Swapped numbers with a boy, which will be more money. I don't think anything will come of it because it never has before- but feel I have to at least try or I'll be sitting in PSL towers on my own forever.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 11th Sep 17, 9:46 PM
    • 474 Posts
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    Cumbria lass
    Nothing ventured nothing gained PSL , swapping numbers is a way forward. I feel for you on the social front , just stick to your guns and only go on outings you really want to .
    Aug 2017 CC1 £3549 CC 2 £1000

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 13th Sep 17, 9:22 PM
    • 1,000 Posts
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    Poor_Single_lady
    I need to be good till payday.
    It's a quiet weekend coming up.
    Drink out tommorow then Quiet week next week.
    Loving the nights getting darker, I know I'm minority but I do love it.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • coastalchick
    • By coastalchick 14th Sep 17, 7:39 PM
    • 174 Posts
    • 267 Thanks
    coastalchick
    I also LOVE this time of year PSL (I do think we are very similar). I do like summer and spring, but also the autumn and winter and the nights drawing in/it getting cold. We finally had our delivery of oil today so can now put the heating on (it is underfloor and throughout the whole house but I do worry it isn't working properly!!) but OH wants to try to hold out for a bit!!!
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 15th Sep 17, 5:01 PM
    • 474 Posts
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    Cumbria lass
    PSL hope you ok in London , thought about you when I heard the news .
    Aug 2017 CC1 £3549 CC 2 £1000

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 15th Sep 17, 9:38 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    Awww thanks Cumbria. It is scary
    But we can't not go to work even when these things happen. Having said that, it is difficult to feel safe when these things cross your path.
    But I do have to pay my mortgage and feed myself. I was out by London Bridge a few weeks ago and it was as busy as ever which was good. But it is definately hard. The pictures looked quite frightening and you would feel very sorry for anyone that was there.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 16th Sep 17, 7:40 AM
    • 4,485 Posts
    • 12,950 Thanks
    Verbatim
    Half way through the month. How's the budget holding up? I can't remember when your pay day is PSL:maybe it's sooner than the end if the month?
    Have a lovely weekend.
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
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