Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,105Posts
    • 21,576Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 480
    • elsien
    • By elsien 2nd Dec 17, 6:30 PM
    • 15,420 Posts
    • 38,717 Thanks
    elsien
    I did text a relative at 5pm to enquire if it was too early to open the wine, and was promptly asked if I was ok.
    I guess I could stay up later to get my 6 hours in, but then I'm contravening my earlier bedtime rule. Can't win.
    As a starting point though, I'm going to have a phone free evening. If anyone sees my green light on tonight, please shout at me.
    Last edited by elsien; 02-12-2017 at 6:33 PM.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 2nd Dec 17, 6:36 PM
    • 18,827 Posts
    • 19,143 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    It's 6.30 and your light is on. When does 'evening' start, by your reckoning?
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 2nd Dec 17, 6:40 PM
    • 31,070 Posts
    • 114,479 Thanks
    Pyxis
    It's 6.30 and your light is on. When does 'evening' start, by your reckoning?
    Originally posted by jobbingmusician
    If I want a bottle of beer at lunchtime, or in the afternoon, I have one! (Providing I'm not driving, etc).

    Like I said bedore, it's better for me if I don't drink alcohol later.

    Who cares what time it is!

    I had haddock and chips at 10:00 am yesterday, just because
    I fancied it! So I did!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 2nd Dec 17, 8:02 PM
    • 18,827 Posts
    • 19,143 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Good on yer! My 'evening' message was actually directed at elsien, though!
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 2nd Dec 17, 8:04 PM
    • 31,070 Posts
    • 114,479 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Good on yer! My 'evening' message was actually directed at elsien, though!
    Originally posted by jobbingmusician
    Oh I know!

    I was just sticking my oar in!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Lambyr
    • By Lambyr 4th Dec 17, 12:39 AM
    • 366 Posts
    • 1,651 Thanks
    Lambyr
    I must admit that I did find alcohol interferes with sleep, not just because of the effect of it on the brain, but because it always makes me need to go to the loo in the night even more often than 'normally', as the Need wakes me up.
    Originally posted by Pyxis
    I find that alcohol usually causes me to conk out properly for about an hour and then wakeup and be unable to get back to sleep.

    Last night, due to the various stresses of the previous week, E and I went out for some drinks. I drank a little more than I normally would and then dozed off back home watching a movie.

    Course, I ended up snoozing in a awkward position and spent the night with pain in my shoulder.

    About 5am I got quite annoyed, hopped off to find some muscle rub and couldn't. Found co-codamol with no idea how old they were so popped two of them, and then figured that Vapour Rub is kinda warm so smeared that all over my shoulder.

    E was somewhat baffled by my attempts at fixing my discomfort but hey, it worked. Shoulder has been fine today!
    She would always like to say,
    Why change the past when you can own this day?
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 4th Dec 17, 8:40 AM
    • 3,623 Posts
    • 7,975 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    I find that alcohol usually causes me to conk out properly for about an hour and then wakeup and be unable to get back to sleep.
    Originally posted by Lambyr
    That's pretty much what happens to me, so I end up less rested. Consequently I try to avoid having more than a couple of glasses of wine or a pint of beer in the evenings unless I have no plans for the following day.


    My dad asked me to look into how he can set up a lasting power of attorney when I spoke to my parents yesterday. While he has health problems, they are all physical, he doesn't lack capacity to make decisions and shows no signs of anything that would cause him to lose that capacity, but it's still a worry. The process doesn't look terribly difficult from reading the information on the government website, it's that he's asking about it at all that has knocked me sideways a bit.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 4th Dec 17, 10:34 AM
    • 1,465 Posts
    • 4,203 Thanks
    Izadora
    Ono, I can understand why it's a worry but it's also good that he's thinking about it while he still has the capacity to make decisions. It doesn't necessarily mean he thinks that he's going to need it, just that it's best to be prepared for the worst and then anything better than that is a bonus.

    Thank you to the people who posted sleep tips. I really should try some of them as my sleep has been all over the place recently. It doesn't help that I came down with a hideous cold/tummy bug on Wednesday. I spent most of Thursday asleep and have been totally wiped out all weekend. I thought I was completely better but, having come back to work today, can't get over how tired I still am.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 4th Dec 17, 2:23 PM
    • 18,827 Posts
    • 19,143 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    We have both sorts of LPA set up for each other in this house. And I hope we are both a very long way from needing them! It's excellent to set them up well in advance

    The problem is, the people who are mega-sensible and plan ahead are probably the least likely to need them!
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 4th Dec 17, 2:31 PM
    • 31,070 Posts
    • 114,479 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Sadly, I don't have anyone I trust enough to be my "attorney".
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • elsien
    • By elsien 4th Dec 17, 6:58 PM
    • 15,420 Posts
    • 38,717 Thanks
    elsien
    That's sad to hear, Pyxis. For a finance one you can ask a solicitor, although that obviously has an ongoing cost implication.
    Parent agreed it was time to do her LPAs six months ago. Still waiting for thinking to translate into action.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 5th Dec 17, 5:20 PM
    • 17,051 Posts
    • 44,833 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Christmas is on! After weeks of worrying that id be working xmas eve/boxing day and would be spending christmas alone i talked to my manager and shes agreed to let me have them off if i work new year i can finally feel festive!

    Depression group has finished now. i think it really helped. certainly good to have some tools to help cope with the depression, speaking of which my christmas depression hasnt kicked in ive had a bad depressive episode at this time for about the last 8 years or so. fingers crossed it doesn't come. I looking forward to starting the bipolar course next year.

    work has been getting busier but apart from busy trams and some panic attacks i seem to be coping better, i think its cos im only on 20 hours a week. That seems to be my limit for coping with work. Would dearly love to work more hours but my bipolar wont allow it at least at the moment.

    *hugs and squishes for everyone*

    Only thing bothering me majorly is do i bite the bullet and go the the work xmas do? Im reluctant as i feel i wasn;t treated very well with last years mess (and nobody turning nup to meet me), but i dont know if i should just try and get over it and be social. I already feel like the odd want out at work and i feel if i miss it im just going to feel more excluded, but im still annoyed about last year.
    Last edited by xXMessedUpXx; 05-12-2017 at 5:24 PM.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 1lbs
    • Lambyr
    • By Lambyr 5th Dec 17, 7:22 PM
    • 366 Posts
    • 1,651 Thanks
    Lambyr
    Congrats on getting Xmas off, MU!

    My dog is a git. I noticed her blanket was looking a bit old and tatty so as I was buying a few doodads from Amazon, I popped a new blanket in the basket.

    Popped it in her bed. 10 minutes later she's attacking it and trying to rip it up.
    She would always like to say,
    Why change the past when you can own this day?
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 6th Dec 17, 12:26 AM
    • 31,070 Posts
    • 114,479 Thanks
    Pyxis



    Only thing bothering me majorly is do i bite the bullet and go the the work xmas do? Im reluctant as i feel i wasn;t treated very well with last years mess (and nobody turning nup to meet me), but i dont know if i should just try and get over it and be social. I already feel like odd want out at work and i feel if i miss it im just going to feel more excluded, but im still annoyed about last year.
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    Some strategies you might want to consider are these (you can mix and match them).........

    # Decide to go to the works do, and then chat about it randomly to people beforehand on several occasions. By chatting about it, people will know you're up for it.

    # Take a chosen person into your confidence by saying that you find being in social groups difficult, and would they be kind enough to take you under their wing?

    # Ask Swain to phone you at a certain time, pre-arranged, while you are at the works do. Then, if you are hating it, you can use the phone call as your cop-out mechanism, and leave. (What you tell them is up to you, but your phone has rung, and you have had some sort of 'news' which necessitates you leaving).
    If you aren't hating it, you can give him a code word that indicates you are fine!

    # If everyone is at a long table, try your hardest not to be on the end. It's so much harder to feel a part of things if you are on the end.

    # Rehearse a few set small-talk questions to ask people either side of you, if the conversation dries up. Nothing terribly heavy!
    Possibly even learn a couple of jokes to tell...."hey, have you heard this one?........." type of thing.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 6th Dec 17, 9:21 AM
    • 1,465 Posts
    • 4,203 Thanks
    Izadora
    Only thing bothering me majorly is do i bite the bullet and go the the work xmas do? Im reluctant as i feel i wasn;t treated very well with last years mess (and nobody turning nup to meet me), but i dont know if i should just try and get over it and be social. I already feel like the odd want out at work and i feel if i miss it im just going to feel more excluded, but im still annoyed about last year.
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    ^^^^^^ What Pyxis said.

    I can understand why you're still annoyed about last year but try to put that in the past and treat this as a completely separate thing.

    If you feel that you can't make it try not to worry about it making you more excluded but try, if possible, not to be working the following day. If it's anything like my place there'll be lots of chat about the party the following day and then it'll be forgotten about.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 7th Dec 17, 5:36 PM
    • 3,690 Posts
    • 3,024 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Been away for 3 days to relax just before Christmas, last week the council did come round about my query on acceptable noise and said they would contact the neighbour and see if they wanted to mediate.


    Came back today and the noise has never been as bad, im thinking they are intentionally being noisy than usual due to pettiness, as it sounds like they are wearing boots and intentionally walking back and forth in the room.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 7th Dec 17, 9:42 PM
    • 3,623 Posts
    • 7,975 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    My dog is a git.
    Originally posted by Lambyr
    Elsien's dog has competition!
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 7th Dec 17, 11:27 PM
    • 17,051 Posts
    • 44,833 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Have decided against the xmas do. Not cos of the people but for the fcat they've chosen a really expsive restaurant that is completely out of my budget this close to xmas the one they were going to previously i could have had a refillable soft drink for a few quid, this new place doesn;t have that option. It annoys me as this is why i had last years mess. The year previous to that we went to weatherspoons, it was cheap, everyone could afford it. But now its all about expensive restaurants. The young uns can probably afford it, their wages are pocket money, mine has to go on rent and living costs (and christmas). So thats decided. Thank you for the advice though, you gave me some good options.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 1lbs
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 7th Dec 17, 11:45 PM
    • 17,051 Posts
    • 44,833 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    In other news i saw an article saying they need more volunteers for girl guiding. It got me thinking, if it was on one of my days off i might actually fancy doing it (when i;ve moved in with swain, dont want to start here then have to move). how do you go about getting into it? I was a Rainbow, Brownie and Guide so have fond memories. I think it would be nice to give something back if thats a possibility later down the line
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 1lbs
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 8th Dec 17, 7:34 AM
    • 31,070 Posts
    • 114,479 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Congrats on getting Xmas off, MU!

    My dog is a git. I noticed her blanket was looking a bit old and tatty so as I was buying a few doodads from Amazon, I popped a new blanket in the basket.

    Popped it in her bed. 10 minutes later she's attacking it and trying to rip it up.
    Originally posted by Lambyr
    Well, she has to "wear it in"!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

4,103Posts Today

7,909Users online

Martin's Twitter