Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,105Posts
    • 21,576Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 471
    • Alias_Omega
    • By Alias_Omega 6th Oct 17, 9:40 PM
    • 7,196 Posts
    • 3,905 Thanks
    Alias_Omega
    Fast forward a week, and a complete change around. Last Friday, i did not know how i would get through to this Friday, however its flown by. Ive had some minor ups and downs, but it cleared with time.

    "Thoughts are just thoughts, and i cant change the past. I can however change the future..."

    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 6th Oct 17, 10:01 PM
    • 18,833 Posts
    • 19,145 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Brilliant! So happy to hear that! xxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 7th Oct 17, 10:41 PM
    • 3,690 Posts
    • 3,034 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Bit of a downer at the minute, been thrifty the last week or two bar the big splash out on a months worth of butchers meat.


    Relative who stupidly got involved with a loan shark has asked me to borrow £150 to pay the loan shark off, they will pay it back but they are the sort where it will be £5 here and there and take like a year to pay off if not more.


    Not the first time it happened, but it digs deeper as I am on disability benefits, and they do have genuine reason as they have mental health issues so are taken advantage of by loan sharks as they think the person is their friend saying don't worry about paying it back, then coming back like a day later and demaning double, then triple day after (it has happened before) so a vulnerable person is getting taken advantage of but I have my own mental health issues.
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 8th Oct 17, 5:58 PM
    • 3,467 Posts
    • 10,440 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    Csll 101 and log this as a job.

    Also Trading Standards.

    Loan sharks are illegal.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • elsien
    • By elsien 8th Oct 17, 6:20 PM
    • 15,435 Posts
    • 38,763 Thanks
    elsien
    Or to the illegal moneylending team if they're scared to get the police involved.
    https://www.gov.uk/report-loan-shark
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 8th Oct 17, 8:02 PM
    • 17,056 Posts
    • 44,852 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Had a good birthday well Swain was in a bit of a bad mood on the thursday as he found out hes not being put on the job he wanted at work and instead has the crappier job. But he took me ut yesterday and we had nice food and he bought me a few bits Went out last night for the forst time in a year! Usually i have a habit of doing a runner home about an hour in but i lasted till 3am! I made the wise choice of pacing myself and not drinking much and having soft drinks in between. And i had no hangover today Although i got covered in glitter and its EVERYWHERE.

    Got a text from PIP saying they have my form (whihc i sent off 4 months ago!) so expecting an assesment, which i'm worried about. Money is also a bit of an issue. Im supposed to have enough money in my account to pay of 1/4 of my overdraft but i dont quite have it and rent goes out next week. I've told swain i plan to have it in there by end of the momnth which is hopefully doable. I just hate having bipolar because it makes me impulsive and i find sticking to a budget impossible I may wthdraw what i need for the week and give Swain my bank card. That might work.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 1lbs
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 8th Oct 17, 8:52 PM
    • 1,729 Posts
    • 8,989 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    I haven't been here for a while because I have been telling myself I'm fine and coping, but I'm not fine and not coping.
    Lots going wrong at the moment, and I really just want to run away. I'm overthinking like I always do and always imagining the bleakest outcome. I can't even face typing it all up to explain but I would appreciate any hugs and positive vibes.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 8th Oct 17, 9:41 PM
    • 31,153 Posts
    • 114,854 Thanks
    Pyxis
    (((((((((((Dandycandy))))))))))))))))
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 9th Oct 17, 9:30 AM
    • 1,465 Posts
    • 4,205 Thanks
    Izadora
    (((((( Dandy ))))))

    Sending positive vibes too. On the plus side, if you're imagining the worst then the actual outcome is likely to be a lot better than you fear.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 9th Oct 17, 10:08 AM
    • 18,833 Posts
    • 19,145 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    (((((( dandy )))))) and some squishes ~~~~~~

    Hoping things improve for you. We are always here if you want to talk. xxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 9th Oct 17, 10:40 AM
    • 3,634 Posts
    • 7,997 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    hugs dandy, hope things look up for you soon.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • last mile
    • By last mile 9th Oct 17, 10:42 AM
    • 11 Posts
    • 31 Thanks
    last mile
    (((((((((((((Dandy))))))))))))))
    Sending you all my positive vibes you way.
    I am almost always sure that what you imagine is never what actual happens.
    Almost every night i have a dream that all my teeth fall out and it feels so real and yet they're always there when i wake up.
    i do tend to over think situations but often doing so actual makes things worse as i am not open to a better interruption of the situation so end up dragging it tot he bad myself.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 10th Oct 17, 11:45 AM
    • 3,634 Posts
    • 7,997 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    This might be of interest to some of you. On the way home last night I heard an edition of "Word of mouth" (a programme about language and how we use it) on radio 4, which was about autism and communication. I foud it fascinating, particularly what Alys Rowe who runs "The curly hair project" to support ASD people was saying and found myself nodding in agreement a few times.

    Link for iplayer etc : http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05hm2ym
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 11th Oct 17, 8:03 AM
    • 1,729 Posts
    • 8,989 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Thanks for hugs, they were really needed. Sometimes I feel very isolated even though my husband and kids live with me. I can talk to DH about my problems but he doesn't really understand and thinks I need to just pull myself together etc.
    Penguin of problems
    we've been having problems with our builders, with BT and I've been worried/paranoid about my health. To top it all we took DS2 to his uni accommodation (private landlord) and it was disgusting to the point we had to bring him home. He's had to be getting train to uni daily while we are trying to sort it, I asked council about what standards should be and then spoke to agents. Landlord has agreed to a new mattress, but before its been done the council have rung him to say they've had a complaint and are coming for an immediate inspection. I didn't make a complaint as such, just said I was concerned and wanted to know if it met the regulations.
    I'm worried that now when DS does move in the landlord will think of him as trouble and won't be nice to him (he lives on site) and DS already isn't keen to live there and is a sensitive sort but we can't be sure we can get out of the contract and worse is that there is more other accommodation available and 200 people on the waiting list. The agent said realistically he's better staying there. We're due to take him back and DH has been giving me pressure to come too when he is dropped off but I'm terrified of seeing the landlord after this council trouble. DH has finally said I don't have to go but I feel guilty for causing all this and for not seeing DS settled in, but I can't cope.

    I've sort of gone into zombie mode. I don't want to talk to anyone or leave the house. I'm shutting myself in watching "gentle" videos while knitting, or else I take to my bed. I look peaceful on the outside but in my head my thoughts are whirring and I'm back to talking to myself and berating myself constantly.
    Penguin end
    Sorry for long post, I don't mind if no one reads it, I just needed to get it out
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 11th Oct 17, 10:31 AM
    • 31,153 Posts
    • 114,854 Thanks
    Pyxis
    It has been read, Dandy, and I fully understand.

    Any sort of confrontation can be scary. (See my signature!)

    However, you did the right thing, and if the landlord was getting a new mattress, it sounds like they are at least doing the right thing.

    If there was any potential problem for your son living there, the landlord would have torn up his contract by now, so I'm sure it'll be ok. Also, with the council on the case, I doubt there'd be any more trouble.

    Just make sure your son knows who he can go to at the Uni if any problems persist, student welfare or whatever it's called these days.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 11th Oct 17, 10:59 AM
    • 1,465 Posts
    • 4,205 Thanks
    Izadora
    Sometimes I feel very isolated even though my husband and kids live with me. I can talk to DH about my problems but he doesn't really understand and thinks I need to just pull myself together etc
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    That's completely understandable, being able to talk to someone about your problems is great but if they can't comprehend how you're feeling it's still a very lonely place to be.

    Not that anything needed penguining but just in case you'd rather I did
    I know it's a lot easier said than done but try not to worry about "what if"s. There's no way you can control the landlord's behaviour and if that's realistically DS's best option then all you can do is try to give him ways to cope if the landlord is a bit off with him. I'm presuming there are other people living in the house too? They were probably none too happy with the standards either and will be grateful that someone's raised it as an issue. There are also so many things going on at the start of term that he'll hopefully be spending minimal time at home anyway.

    There's nothing to feel guilty about and you didn't cause all of this, the landlord did by thinking that it was acceptable to rent out unsuitable accommodation. If you feel that you can't cope then it's probably better not to go, I know you'll want to see DS settled in but if you're upset then it's more likely to unsettle him than help.

    While it's tempting to hide away until it's all over please do try to get out, even if it's just for a walk around the block, if you can. Each time I've given into the temptation to hibernate I've found it harder to get out the next time and when I've forced myself to go out it's always turned out better than I feared and been easier the next time I don't fancy doing something.

    I know it's hard to deal with constantly whirring thoughts but please try not to berate yourself and be kind instead.

    I hope all goes well with getting DS back to college and that things calm down for you soon.
    end penguin
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 11th Oct 17, 11:11 AM
    • 3,467 Posts
    • 10,440 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    PENGUIN ALERT!! A lot of this is personal and quite 'outing'.

    I did a charity walk. 3km with all my foot problems. I had no one to sponsor me, so I sponsored myself. £10 a kilometre.

    I did the charity thing. In a comedy costume. And died on my feet. No one was able to come with me, either.

    Standing on stage trying to make people laugh is not a very sensible thing to do. It's insane! The meds make me too sensible to be funny, but with them, I can think of and write and memorise routines. It's confusing.

    I'm paying for a private therapist who told me I'm friendly and I'm doing all the right things. I just need to give it time. I feel so friendless and alone.

    The job situation is pretty poor. I've had no replies from any of the staff bank emails, but I'm being trained up for a job in an office where I might get the odd shift. I'm being paid for training.

    At an outpatient appointment on Monday, my BP was high. Like, stratospheric. I've got to lose a lot of weight or else I may end up off the methyphenidate and/or on something to lower my BP.

    I'm overeating and feeling very miserable. I've got to get a grip on my food and eating issues. That's something for the therapist to sink her teeth into.

    I've bunked off the first of today's classes, too. That has got to stop.

    Still, I've got a little time to do my cross stitch homework......

    PS. Just received a phonecall ftom an agency who are recruiting for a night position in a not very local hospital. If successful, it will scupper every plan I've made to go to concerts and gigs up until Christmas. I have made it clear that I won't compromise on the courses I've paid for on Wednesdays.


    Hugs and squishes to everyone who needs them. Thinking of you WaS. Hope you're coping.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 11th Oct 17, 12:10 PM
    • 1,465 Posts
    • 4,205 Thanks
    Izadora
    GN - Penguin reply


    Well done for doing the walk, especially with foot problems. Let me know which charity you were doing it for and I'll make a donation.

    Congratulations on the comedy thing as well, I can't imagine how brave you'd have to be to get up there and do that. Sorry it didn't go well for you, just remember that loads of massively famous comedians have fallen flat at times and still do.

    From what I've seen here the therapist's right and you're definitely friendly. I know we're probably not a great substitute for having people in real life but you're not alone. I think it does become harder to make new friends as you get older, I don't know if it's because everyone's already set in their ways or what it is but I honestly couldn't tell you when I last made a new friend.

    Good luck with the job situation and at least you're getting paid for training. With the night position, which is more important/necessary - the things you have lined up between now and Christmas or what you'll earn from this job? If you can cope without the money it would bring in I'd probably wait for something else to come up

    I can sympathise with overeating and feeling miserable - my response last night to a new dress (in a size larger than most of my clothes) not fitting was to eat a massive lump of cherry pie in a sea of custard... - but have never been able to get enough of a grip to be able to give you any advice. Good luck with it though and know that you're far from the only person struggling with it.

    Don't beat yourself up about bunking off a class, just enjoy the time to do your cross-stitch and don't let it become a habit.


    Sending you massive hugs and squishes and I hope things start going well for you.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 11th Oct 17, 1:37 PM
    • 31,153 Posts
    • 114,854 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Gingernutty...... another penguin reply.

    Penguin reply deleted?


    I dunno what the answer is!
    A new brain, perhaps?
    Last edited by Pyxis; 11-10-2017 at 8:54 PM.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 11th Oct 17, 8:22 PM
    • 3,467 Posts
    • 10,440 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    Thanks. Penguin

    It's been rough. Realising all the lost opportunities, feeling the effects of the meds and when they wear off and feeling even more down since the diagnosis instead of better.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

1,809Posts Today

6,055Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • RT @bearface83: @MartinSLewis check out the @Missguided new 60% off offer. Upping the cost of items almost double to make us think it?s a?

  • RT @efitzpat: Thank you SO SO much @MartinSLewis for your Student Loans refund advice! I just got a grand refunded right before Xmas! Whoop?

  • Have a lovely weekend folks. Don't do anything (fiscally) that I wouldn't do!

  • Follow Martin