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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,104Posts
    • 21,565Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 465
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 7th Sep 17, 5:52 PM
    • 11,527 Posts
    • 48,271 Thanks
    whitewing
    GN,

    You have done your bit so I think you should forget all about it. You probably got it right anyway.

    No more mulling!

    I have my big-girl pants on today and am doing paperwork stuff. Relief to have started. DS was moaning that I said I would do it in February.

    Part of my "great a grip" phase!

    Getting some toys off gumtree for littlewing for xmas. She will not care that they are not boxed; I shall theme them into cellophane anyway. (She will have some new cheap presents).
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 7th Sep 17, 8:24 PM
    • 3,462 Posts
    • 10,434 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    Thanks Whitewing. Kick up the a r s e duly noted.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 7th Sep 17, 9:38 PM
    • 18,783 Posts
    • 19,085 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Pyxis - horrid horrid experience. I might write her a letter reinforcing that I seriously have no idea why she was upset, and making a bit note for now and the future that it was not and will not be your intention to upset or offend. AND maybe be upfront about the fact that her public reaction upset you. Ask if you could have an agreement to tell each other if you upset each other, in private (but that you now consider this event over, although you would still like a guide as to what you said so that you can avoid repeating the trigger.)

    Actually, come to think of it, trigger is an excellent word, isn't it, cos it doesn't attribute blame. (I've only just realised this!) xxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 7th Sep 17, 9:41 PM
    • 3,462 Posts
    • 10,434 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    By email. If this is work, everything will have to have a 'paper trail'.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 9th Sep 17, 9:09 AM
    • 1,702 Posts
    • 8,897 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Does anyone else here hit rock bottom before there period? I absolutely plumb the depths, "Why do I go on? I'm a burden to my family" etc, for about 2 days before I start and then when it happens I get back to normal (normal for me).
    Any suggestions on ways to make this more manageable?
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 9th Sep 17, 1:16 PM
    • 3,462 Posts
    • 10,434 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    That thing I did for charity last year? I'm doing it again.

    It felt fine months ago when I volunteered, but now it's a little over 3 weeks away, I have started to ramp up.

    5 mins on stage and it's taking weeks of thinking, ideas, writing and going through it in my head.

    I still haven't practised it out loud.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 9th Sep 17, 1:48 PM
    • 5,683 Posts
    • 13,032 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Remember how well it went ginfer.

    OH back in hospital
    • elsien
    • By elsien 9th Sep 17, 3:30 PM
    • 15,292 Posts
    • 38,385 Thanks
    elsien
    Sorry to hear that melly - hope it's not too much of a setback. Lots of positive thoughts heading your way.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 9th Sep 17, 5:19 PM
    • 3,595 Posts
    • 2,914 Thanks
    dekaspace
    I am assuming getting over the virus has drained me, not sure if its that or getting up for college 3 days a week at 7.30am but I literally got almost over my virus on Wednesday (apart from a mild blocked nose here and there) Wednesday Thursday and Friday night I slept 13 hours as each time I woke at normal times I just blacked out after a few seconds.

    Emotions are strange too, not sure if thats because of the stress of having to loan family member money and stress from utility provider.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 11th Sep 17, 9:32 AM
    • 1,451 Posts
    • 4,153 Thanks
    Izadora
    Dandy, I can sympathise but unfortunately can't suggest ways to help. I did find that I was slightly less unhinged when I had the Mirena coil but generally I just have to try to remind myself that it's only hormonal and I'll be fine again in a couple of days.

    Ginger, good luck although I'm sure you'll be great.

    Melly, I hope OH's on the mend again soon.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 11th Sep 17, 10:29 AM
    • 3,527 Posts
    • 7,742 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    I am assuming getting over the virus has drained me,
    Originally posted by dekaspace
    That's quiet likely, if I've had a cold for example, I find that it takes a few days after the symptoms have finished before I'm restored to my normal energy level, until then I'm basically exhausted all the time.

    Best wishes to OH Melly.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 12th Sep 17, 7:25 PM
    • 17,021 Posts
    • 44,746 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    I don't call my mum enough. Just had a lovely chat though i ain't spoken to her in about 3 months. I generally hate making phone calls though always feel better when speaking to her so going to try and aim for once a month to begin with, then maybe every fortnight. As morbid a thought as it is she wont be here forever so i need to make more effort (i;d say it goes both ways but in fairness she never knows when im working so its harder for her to contact me)
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 1lbs
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 12th Sep 17, 7:28 PM
    • 16,993 Posts
    • 25,991 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    I don't call my mum enough. Just had a lovely chat though i ain't spoken to her in about 3 months. I generally hate making phone calls though always feel better when speaking to her so going to try and aim for once a month to begin with, then maybe every fortnight. As morbid a thought as it is she wont be here forever so i need to make more effort (i;d say it goes both ways but in fairness she never knows when im working so its harder for her to contact me)
    Originally posted by xXMessedUpXx
    Good that you had a lovely chat.
    Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving . Albert Einstein.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 13th Sep 17, 8:45 AM
    • 3,527 Posts
    • 7,742 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    I call my parents most weekends, I'm aware that given their ages I won't have around them forever. I do get to hear quite a lot about the bowls club though!
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 13th Sep 17, 1:56 PM
    • 1,702 Posts
    • 8,897 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    MU if you get on with your mum then really do make the effort to call and chat often. I cannot overstate how many times I wish I could have a chat with my mum still, it is god awful when they're not about anymore.
    • UKTigerlily
    • By UKTigerlily 13th Sep 17, 9:57 PM
    • 4,321 Posts
    • 5,395 Thanks
    UKTigerlily
    Well, turns out the neighbour is definitely on the Coke. No change, he's still not right but at least I know for sure why. So worried about him being on it but not much I can do
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 14th Sep 17, 12:20 PM
    • 1,702 Posts
    • 8,897 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    I haven't gone out alone for quite a while as it's one of my phobias, so as my DH had a letter that needed posting I thought I would do it. I decided to take a shopping bag and try going to the shops after as it is literally a few yards further, so after posting the letter I really wanted to bottle it and go home but I kept telling myself "you can do it"

    At the till the people in front wanted 2 free coffees (it's Waitrose and you get a free one with your shopping) but the woman on the till said you only get one with a transaction and they would have to split their shopping into two transactions. As I was wanting to get home asap I said "just give them my cup as I don't want coffee"

    All seemed good but when I paid I thought it had charged me for the coffee and I suddenly wondered if there was a minimum spend to get it free. The woman on the till said it had charged me then taken it off but I couldn't work it out at first. I'm normally good at maths but I got flustered and took a while to realise it. I said "oh yes my mistake " but she gave me such a withering look. It really stressed me out and when I get stressed I mutter under my breath which I did all the way home. I could tell people along side me could hear, which made me more stressed. I have never been so relieved to get home, I don't know how to cope in public anymore I'm so embarrassed.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 14th Sep 17, 12:33 PM
    • 1,451 Posts
    • 4,153 Thanks
    Izadora
    Dandy, well done for going out on your own and there's really no need to be embarrassed.
    I think most people mutter under their breath when they're out, I find that it makes me far less homicidal if I mumble all the things I'd like to be able to say to people's faces.
    Sometimes things slip out at full volume as well and I only realise when I see people reacting to what I thought was said only in my head. The look on a bloke's face the other week when I was on a train and accidentally failed to contain "Oh FFS, just blow your nose!" when his sniffing had got to me so much that I had to move seats was funny though
    • surveyqueenuk
    • By surveyqueenuk 17th Sep 17, 9:40 PM
    • 535 Posts
    • 1,866 Thanks
    surveyqueenuk
    Ooh, it's all gone quiet here - hopefully that means everyone is OK!

    Dandy, I am also a mutterer. Yesterday, I was waiting to cross the road and this car was going so slooooowly (I'm too scared to just leg it as was once run over). Anyhow, I thought to myself "For f***'s sake, do you have to be so bl00dy slow" and a man who I didn't even realise was there said "I know, love". Oops!
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 18th Sep 17, 11:17 AM
    • 1,702 Posts
    • 8,897 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Thanks Izadora and surveyqueen, it is good to know I'm not the only one who does this!
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