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    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,101Posts
    • 21,526Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 456
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 2nd Aug 17, 11:28 AM
    • 11,503 Posts
    • 48,172 Thanks
    whitewing
    MU, I am pleased about your assessment.

    dandy, did you watch

    http://www.channel4.com/programmes/old-peoples-home-for-4-year-olds/on-demand/64374-001

    last night?

    It is brilliant. Hamish is my favourite old fella. It may distract you from your anxiety for an hour. (The second episode is on tonight).

    WaS, if you are hovering, I think you would be able to watch it without being triggered but maybe check with WaSp first. Hope you are well enough to say 'hi' at some point.
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 3rd Aug 17, 12:42 AM
    • 16,975 Posts
    • 44,597 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Feeling very agitated today. I can't stop my mind working against me and I need to find something to occupy myself but I can't settle. Last night when I tried to sleep every time I closed me eyes I imagined spiders which I hate and make me feel sick. Today my head keeps imagining upsetting situations that aren't even real, and I already set myself a task that I know will be hard and frustrating. I hate my brain, it's supposed to help me but it is doing everything it can to make me feel ill. I don't understand these things because I'm supposed to be in control of it but it really is like someone else is working it. It seems to deliberately try to find ways to upset me.
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    Anxiety is horrible.

    Something that works for me when i'm anxious and my brain isn;t behaving is a technique called grounding. Basically you think of 5 things you can see (a clock, a window anything really), 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. I know it sounds crazy and you do feel a bit silly doing it but i do find it helps a lot with anxiety *though more with the panic attack side of it). Sometimes you need to take yourself away from it all and focus on your surroundings. When you're thinking of spiders can you tell your brain "no"? Again sounds silly but when i have bad thoughts i try and tell my brain to behave, tell myself that x isn;t real and it can;t hurt me. Would that help? Sorry you're feeling so anxious.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
    • lobbyludd
    • By lobbyludd 3rd Aug 17, 11:35 AM
    • 1,239 Posts
    • 10,638 Thanks
    lobbyludd
    hi everyone,
    I've been lurking on your thread for years, and have anxiety and depression -

    Dandy -what works for my anxiety if it's starting to ramp up is (and I know this sounds ridiculous, but I have to say it out loud AND do the actions!) is to put my hand out in front of me like I'm directing traffic in a "stop motion" and firmly say (out loud) "Stop" at the same time.

    My brain invariably segues into singing either "stop, wait a minute, mr post man" or "stop in the name of love" or a number of other songs with "stop" in the lyrics.

    If it doesn't I sing the damn things out loud and repeat the action until it does - the absurdity of this sort of jolts my brain out of the cyclone of anxious thoughts.

    Easier to do in private though! I've done it so often now that just humming the tune, or thinking about how bonkers it would look to someone else if I did this in the middle of the street or a meeting is enough to pop me out of an anxious thought spiral sometimes.

    back off to lurk.
    A/give up smoking (done)
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 3rd Aug 17, 12:07 PM
    • 3,203 Posts
    • 7,122 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    HI lobbyludd and welcome to the thread
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 4th Aug 17, 12:27 AM
    • 16,975 Posts
    • 44,597 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Slightly worried about the assessment i have, or rather where its taking place. The guy who threatened my friend with a knife trying to get my loctation so he could kill me has serious psychiatric problems and my friend told me he goes to the place where my assessment is (hes apparently registered at my doctors too though thankfully haven'y crossed paths), i' now scared shitless of going there and him being there. Causing me a lot of anxiety. Any advice?
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 4th Aug 17, 12:56 AM
    • 3,155 Posts
    • 2,445 Thanks
    dekaspace
    What a last few days, last minute hospital appointment where it was all but confirmed I have sleep apnea but can't officially do it until I have an appointment in about 2 months to pickup kit that monitors me when I wear it.

    It explains the poor sleep as even when I go to bed I often feel like I haven't slept at all so thats why one day I may be lucky and drag myself out of bed after 8 hours and feel ok all day and another time barely be functional after 9 or 10.

    Sure mental health/anxiety too but as I have said in past its a vicious cycle, even when I was at my lowest before the family member died a good night sleep meant I didn't feel tired all day and could at least be glued to a movie in a good way, or go for a walk as felt refreshed, these days I feel asleep even when awake.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 4th Aug 17, 9:27 AM
    • 1,326 Posts
    • 3,812 Thanks
    Izadora
    MU - I know it's probably no help but, considering the amount of people who must use the assessment centre, it's highly unlikely that you'll both be there at the same time.
    Getting the assessment is a good thing so try to focus on that rather than something which probably won't happen.
    Good luck x
    • Lambyr
    • By Lambyr 4th Aug 17, 9:42 AM
    • 335 Posts
    • 1,542 Thanks
    Lambyr
    Hello all.

    Sorry not been around much. Been both rather busy and not very talkative.

    There have been a few things recently which have been tough, most of all E's mum has been diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately, the docs believe that they have caught it early enough to be able to treat it and she had a long operation yesterday and she's now got to have radiotherapy. E said the operation went well so hoping that's a positive.

    I've been undertaking a little DIY project which I'm sure to any onlooker would be hilarious. My house is kinda small but we do have a detached garage which has generally just been used as a storage room for all types of crap. E collects and paints those Warhammer figures and I figured that there really isn't anywhere in the house for her to do that so I've been slowly decluttering the garage, doing a few repairs and all that to turn it into a hobby room for her for when she eventually moves in. There is still a bit to do - I need to replace the work benches and fork out for a plumber to sort the sink out in there but it's coming along, I think, and I've managed to keep the expletive laden rants to a minimum.

    Haven't told E about it yet as she's had more important things to worry about but hopefully it'll be a nice surprise for her once things are a bit easier.
    She would always like to say,
    Why change the past when you can own this day?
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 4th Aug 17, 11:03 AM
    • 28,097 Posts
    • 102,543 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Hiya Lambyr!

    Was thinking of you the other day.... you've saved me a PM!

    The garage sounds like a great idea!

    Sorry to hear about E's mum. Sounds like she's pulling through, though.


    Is the job still going ok?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, P.P..
    ¥ ¥ ¥
    X ~O
    • Lambyr
    • By Lambyr 4th Aug 17, 11:50 AM
    • 335 Posts
    • 1,542 Thanks
    Lambyr
    I think my PMs are still disabled!

    I expect I'll know more about how E's mum is doing tomorrow but things are looking OK right now.

    Job is still going alright, yeah. I had my second small pay rise a little while ago. E's dad is starting to get some decent clients now so my workload is starting to increase. Has delayed my book project and my blog is being haphazardly updated at present but can't complain.

    Have slightly broken my keyboard though... silly little grip thing on the spacebar for the metal bar has worn down and when I pried it off to clean under the keys yesterday it wouldn't hold it. Currently, a rather iffy sellotape job is sorta holding it in place. I will have to acquire a new keyboard at some point though. Slightly irritating as my keyboard is a pricey one and it has extra features when combined with my mouse (same manufacturer). Oh well!
    She would always like to say,
    Why change the past when you can own this day?
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 5th Aug 17, 3:58 PM
    • 3,377 Posts
    • 10,218 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    I've had a horrible week

    I've been prescribed meds which are meant to help with ADHD, but I made mistakes which caused trouble with my manager whose people skills are pretty poor.

    I ended up getting told off, loudly, in front of other people on Friday. It was awful.

    The weird part was afterwards. I left, remembered to hand my timesheet in (not always guaranteed) and wandered off to think hard about a solution to the problem I'd created.

    I then just meandered about until I got home at about 9.30pm. I still remembered to pick up a few bits in the supermarket. It was as if I was waiting for the stuff to wear off.

    Last night I had a very vivd and extremely specific dream about work. About someone I work with who was upset about a change in her contract which meant she may not be employed this time next year. Told you it was specific.

    I woke up convinced it was true and deciding to ask how she was feeling when I went back to work.

    I had to tell myself it wasn't true.

    So far, I've put away dry laundry, done two loads of laundry, had breakfast and lunch and watched a thunderstorm.

    I need to get out and pick up a couple of prescriptions and do a bit of shopping.

    Hope you're all doing OK. Hugs and squishes to those who need them.

    WaS, thinking of you.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • elsien
    • By elsien 5th Aug 17, 4:50 PM
    • 14,911 Posts
    • 37,241 Thanks
    elsien
    Unprofessional manager you've got there then GN, I feel for you.
    Are the meds those that take a bit of time for your system to get used to them, or will the GP relook at the dose if they need to?

    I think I was out in said thunderstorm - meandering round a garden centre without a coat so had to head for emergency tea and cake. Cleaning was on my today's to-do list, and I anticipate it will still be on my to do list this time next week.
    I am tired - my sleep is all over the place and I'm still going to bed at silly o'clock so it's my own fault, at least in part. I also had someone very unwell say some not nice things to me - not their fault, but for some reason I've taken it personally when it usually washes over me. One of the perks of the job, I suppose.

    Lets combine forces and do some serious wishing for a better week next week.
    Gitdog was seriously useless at agility, even for him - I need to see if I can get someone to video him without getting me in shot, that'd give you all a giggle if nothing else.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Torry Quine
    • By Torry Quine 5th Aug 17, 4:58 PM
    • 16,899 Posts
    • 25,765 Thanks
    Torry Quine
    Hello all.

    Sorry not been around much. Been both rather busy and not very talkative.

    There have been a few things recently which have been tough, most of all E's mum has been diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately, the docs believe that they have caught it early enough to be able to treat it and she had a long operation yesterday and she's now got to have radiotherapy. E said the operation went well so hoping that's a positive.

    I've been undertaking a little DIY project which I'm sure to any onlooker would be hilarious. My house is kinda small but we do have a detached garage which has generally just been used as a storage room for all types of crap. E collects and paints those Warhammer figures and I figured that there really isn't anywhere in the house for her to do that so I've been slowly decluttering the garage, doing a few repairs and all that to turn it into a hobby room for her for when she eventually moves in. There is still a bit to do - I need to replace the work benches and fork out for a plumber to sort the sink out in there but it's coming along, I think, and I've managed to keep the expletive laden rants to a minimum.

    Haven't told E about it yet as she's had more important things to worry about but hopefully it'll be a nice surprise for her once things are a bit easier.
    Originally posted by Lambyr
    Thinking about E's mum as Loon has the same condition. Surgery not an option so has started chemotherapy.
    Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving . Albert Einstein.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 5th Aug 17, 6:28 PM
    • 3,377 Posts
    • 10,218 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    Hey Elsien.

    Yup. She is.

    I'm off to see the apecialist/nurse prescriber on Monday. She'll be the dose tweaker who'll tell the GP what to prescribe.

    It sounds like Gitdog is just being Gitdog, no?
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • elsien
    • By elsien 5th Aug 17, 6:39 PM
    • 14,911 Posts
    • 37,241 Thanks
    elsien
    He is. I was just working under the misapprehension that we may have found something he'd be good at without pillocking around.

    Any news on the job hunting front?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 6th Aug 17, 12:11 AM
    • 3,377 Posts
    • 10,218 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    Nope. No luck at all.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 6th Aug 17, 10:27 PM
    • 3,377 Posts
    • 10,218 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    So this weekend I've

    Done 2 loads of laundry
    Finished sewing two buttons onto a raincoat that has been sitting waiting for that to be done for months
    Tidied up.
    Brought a shopping trolley of clothes to the charity shop AND remembered my gift aid card
    Got rid of a bunch of old batteries
    Got rid of an old inhaler canister at the pharmacy where I also picked up my prescriptions.
    Remembered most of the shopping list and didn't deviate from what I could remember I needed
    Charged up my Kindle and my MP3 Walkman
    Gave a collection of good carrier bags to the food bank box in the supermarket
    Bought a few items from Boots clearance rack thst would do for gifts or raffle prizes

    Very productive. And not my normal self at all.

    and tomorrow I'm off from work, but I'll still have a fair bit to do.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 7th Aug 17, 10:12 AM
    • 1,326 Posts
    • 3,812 Thanks
    Izadora
    GN, it sounds like you had a very productive weekend and I would never have thought of this:
    Gave a collection of good carrier bags to the food bank box in the supermarket
    Originally posted by Gingernutty
    I've got a stupid amount of carrier bags, a lot of which have only been used once, and I've given some to charity shops but it didn't occur to me that food banks would be able to use them.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 7th Aug 17, 10:13 AM
    • 3,203 Posts
    • 7,122 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    My weekend wasn't very productive, though I did mow the meadow ("lawn" would imply a degree of care in its maintenance that is not present , it was covered by a variety of wildflowers before I took the mower to it) yesterday afternoon, as all this rain and warm has made it grow like nobody's business.

    Also hacked down some stinging nettles that were taller than me but that was about all I achieved. For some reason the last three mornings I've woken up with a very achy back, no idea what that's all about.

    Hoping you all have a good week
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 7th Aug 17, 10:43 AM
    • 14,911 Posts
    • 37,241 Thanks
    elsien
    Different posture and too much bending over while gardening, Ono?
    That's one of the reasons I've started Pilates sessions, when I realised that my core strength had emigrated. I was also shocked when I got to class to find out just how bad my balance had got without me realising it.
    I had a relaxing day yesterday hacking down a multitude of bushes. I know it's not for everyone but I find it very therapeutic.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
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