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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,104Posts
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 454
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 25th Jul 17, 11:57 PM
    • 1,699 Posts
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    dandy-candy
    MU - are they going to try you on an alternative medicine? Well done getting that pip form done

    We got back on Sunday evening and I am very glad to be home. I feel "safe" here I did a mega tidy up yesterday and paid for it with a backache today, but the house looks lovely which brightens my mood.

    It was strange but after our little trip away I realised that although when I'm at home it's really reassuring to know DH is nearby, I didn't like it when we were away and he was with me all the time. I really like being able to escape to a different part of the house and to read in quiet!

    I hope everyone is getting on ok xx
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 26th Jul 17, 10:37 AM
    • 1,699 Posts
    • 8,885 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Does anyone have any contact with WaS off this page? I hope she is ok.
    I don't like the way on the internet something might have happened to someone and their online friends have no knowledge, I've always thought that a downside of it. Sometimes people just drop off the radar
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 26th Jul 17, 11:18 AM
    • 1,451 Posts
    • 4,152 Thanks
    Izadora
    MU - well done on getting the PIP form sorted and I hope things level out for you soon.

    Dandy - you sound like me. I really enjoy going away but love the feeling of comfort when I get home, the flat being clean gives me a great sense of calm (no matter how much I ache) and I miss IzHe when he's not there but find myself craving some peace if he's around all the time

    I don't know if anyone's in contact with WaS but I hope everything's alright with her. There seem to be a few MIAs at the moment. Big hugs and squishes to all and I hope everyone's okay.
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 27th Jul 17, 6:16 PM
    • 3,576 Posts
    • 2,907 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Had bad hay fever for past week or two of course at worse when we had that heatwave a few days ago so been more exhausted than usual then had the work trial meaning I felt even worse.


    Whats on my mind now was I have been in the area almost 38 months now and since day one noticed in town centre next to station the local hang out of drunks and junkies who are well known and banned from many local shops and from buying drink from off licenses.


    I lived here since Christmas and noticed since day one chav/junkie stereotypes jamming the back door open to block and I used to close it when I first moved in as thought people just forgot but was subjected to mouthful of abuse from (ironically enough) toothless chavs.


    Apart from that most that came round were friendly and you never had any noise, at least heard from my flat but about 3 months ago noticed a massive increase in rough people hanging around outside my flat or outside the building, and noticed many were the well known junkies and alcoholics who were banned from town centre shops (and been a victim of threats in Subway 2 months ago though they didn't recognise me)


    What I found out is they are banned from using that dark alley anymore, so I assume they are coming round to my neighbours, meaning I hear at weekends people trying to kick on back door, or loud drunk/high people screaming upstairs to get in at all hours of night, or people ringing my buzzer anytime from 8pm Friday/Saturday night through to 6am the next morning demanding to get in.


    Writing this as though I cope with it, I feel like it may escalate and having well known substance abusers who are also known for stealing from shops, and a few weeks back having someone peering through my windows on a Saturday night and fleeing when he saw me I worry for the future.


    So wanted a bit of feedback.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 27th Jul 17, 6:37 PM
    • 30,326 Posts
    • 111,527 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Is it a Housing Association block? If so, you could tell them what's going on?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 27th Jul 17, 8:40 PM
    • 3,462 Posts
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    Gingernutty
    101 and report antisocial behaviour.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 27th Jul 17, 8:47 PM
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    dekaspace
    It's council, what I was thinking is as theres no set time limit and often the arguments are random by time police come round they may of dispersed each time that and I was tolerating it as everyday noise, and just put my buzzer on silent at nighttime and tell friends if they want to come round knock my living room window


    Most of it is like a few meet at back door and talk for a few minutes, leave, come back, leave again


    Which makes me think why so many people coming and going at all hours.


    The glass on back door (thick door with about 10 individual pieces of plastic/glass) has been kicked in on many areas, and theres obvious damage to a lot of door, it doesn't even shut right without force though has been like that since I moved in, You can pull it shut with a lot of force and it locks but when you press the door release button you have to use a lot of force to open it.


    I am a anxious person so its hard to tell what I should tolerate but I would assume people would agree that people, well known junkies and thieves at that would make most people paranoid.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 27th Jul 17, 8:53 PM
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    Pyxis
    Gingernutty's suggestion sounds good.......you could have a word with someone, tell them all that, and see what they suggest.

    If it's drug dealers, the sooner it's stopped, the better.

    You could ask for strict anonymity.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 27th Jul 17, 9:01 PM
    • 3,576 Posts
    • 2,907 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Well one of the regulars is this guy who for first year of living in town I saw around 5pm every day with about 10 cans of Special Brew type cider and so staggering about he had to hold himself up, this was every day.


    A few times saw him drunk 10am with a kid around 5 and again 10 cans of cider in his bag effing and blinding at the kid for wanting to play then trying to blag free bus travel for him and his kid from bus driver (Im assuming shes in care and he had random access)


    Saw him often downing cans and chucking them in road, and a few weeks back was in Subway and he tried nicking a drink, and when was caught hid at side then pocketed dozens of milks and sugars, then got on same bus as me so steaming drunk he screamed at bus driver as he couldn't keep his balance, then when got off had a wad of cash in his hand (£200-£500 in 20s)


    A hour later saw him walking into my block.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 27th Jul 17, 11:19 PM
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    jobbingmusician
    I'm off on holiday for the next 10 days, so have a good time all, while I'm gone! xxxxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

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    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 27th Jul 17, 11:42 PM
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    • 48,271 Thanks
    whitewing
    deka, I think if he is so drunk and has a young child you should just phone 999. You could also tell them about previous occasions when you have seen him with a roll of notes. Perhaps say that you don't want to give your name. If you know the town has cctv that would cover the interaction with the child, then state that at the time.

    Please don't assume someone else will report it. Everyone thinks that and that is why some youngsters are let down so badly.
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 28th Jul 17, 2:30 AM
    • 17,021 Posts
    • 44,745 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    WaS where are you? i hope your'e ok

    I've started taking my anti-d again, felt too low without it. Should probably see my GP (in 3 weeks time)
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 1lbs
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 28th Jul 17, 11:15 AM
    • 1,451 Posts
    • 4,152 Thanks
    Izadora
    JM - have a fabulous holiday!!

    Deka - As others have said, give 101 a call and see what they say. Also, as WW pointed out, a lot of people don't report things like that because they presume someone else will have done.

    MU - I hope you manage to get an appointment in a bit less than 3 weeks!!

    I can't begin to express how happy I am that it's the weekend and that IzHe and I have very little planned. This week's been utterly manic at work, which is admittedly a lot better than my usual levels of boredom, and I'm looking forward to being able to switch off for a couple of days.

    Hugs and squishes to all xx
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 28th Jul 17, 10:38 PM
    • 3,462 Posts
    • 10,434 Thanks
    Gingernutty
    I feel bad.

    I went to a choir concert on Wednesday and agreed with my friend (choir member) to go to a pub to listen to a band tonight.

    She mentioned them on FaceAche and was enthusiastic about them so I agreed to go and meet her there.

    Today, she cried off as they have an early start tomorrow and needed to get to bed early.

    I went anyway. I arrived late, knew no-one else and had a drink (cola) while the bamd finished tbe first set.

    And stood like a lemon being completely ignored as they played loud music and prepared for the second set.

    After less than 20 minutes there, knowing absolutely no-one else and unable to hear conversation, I left.

    I don't do pubs, loud music or complete strangers.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 28th Jul 17, 11:48 PM
    • 30,326 Posts
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    Pyxis
    Goodness, Gingernutty, don't feel bad!

    It sounds like you stuck it for a lot longer than I would have done!


    As you say, an environment where there is loud music does not make it easy to chat to people, even if you know them well, let alone people you don't know!

    You gave it a shot!

    Were the band any good?
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • Gingernutty
    • By Gingernutty 28th Jul 17, 11:57 PM
    • 3,462 Posts
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    Gingernutty
    They were OK.

    Heavy on the reggae beat and all middle aged hipsters with well coiffed facial hair.

    There was one token female on backing vocals.
    Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway...
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 29th Jul 17, 8:07 PM
    • 1,699 Posts
    • 8,885 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Gingernutty I think it's incredibly brave of you to go alone at all!

    I took some carrier bags of clothes and books to the charity shop last week and I'm now suffering separation anxiety lol. I didn't read or wear the stuff anymore but I do find it a wrench getting rid of things!

    I've been worried about DD being too skinny for a while now so I did her weight and height and her bmi is showing underweight. DH said he nails looked weird last week and I saw them today and they are crumbling and have a funny band on them which I just looked up and it can be a malnutrition thing. She sits around eating crisps and chocolates all day but very little else. I've just gone and bought some fruit and yogurts for her (she won't eat veg) so I hope that helps. I took her to the dr once before about being underweight and they really weren't interested. She's 18 now so I can't make her go, but I will try and tempt her to try more health options
    • elsien
    • By elsien 29th Jul 17, 8:16 PM
    • 15,284 Posts
    • 38,364 Thanks
    elsien
    I am small and my BMI has always shown me as underweight. I guess it's whether she's in proportion, and the other signs such as the nails which could be a bit more of a concern.
    Is she interested in cooking at all, is that something you can build on?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 29th Jul 17, 9:39 PM
    • 1,699 Posts
    • 8,885 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    I am small and my BMI has always shown me as underweight. I guess it's whether she's in proportion, and the other signs such as the nails which could be a bit more of a concern.
    Is she interested in cooking at all, is that something you can build on?
    Originally posted by elsien
    She's a bit of a mix shapewise. She has a proper rounded bottom and although she has a thigh gap, her legs don't look too skinny. Her arms though do look quite skeletal and her spine shows at the top like a stegosaurus.

    She did cookery at school and got an A at gcse, but since she left she's only made biscuits a couple of times. Funnily she will eat junk food like McDs, pizza, ice cream etc but she can only eat a child size portion at one sitting. Because she eats so little she's always tired, but then because she rarely leaves her room she never builds up an appetite.
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 29th Jul 17, 9:58 PM
    • 30,326 Posts
    • 111,527 Thanks
    Pyxis
    Does anyone have any contact with WaS off this page? I hope she is ok.
    I don't like the way on the internet something might have happened to someone and their online friends have no knowledge, I've always thought that a downside of it. Sometimes people just drop off the radar
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    As far as I know she is sort of ok.
    She has been pretty unwell, though.

    I don't think she is up to posting just yet, though.
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
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