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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,104Posts
    • 21,565Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 449
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 4th Jul 17, 12:02 PM
    • 11,529 Posts
    • 48,275 Thanks
    whitewing
    My friend of many, many, many years has come in to see me unexpectedly today. She is moving four hours drive away. Not quite moving yet but she has had an operation recently that she only said about today (mind you, the generation that hardly even told themselves about medical issues, let alone their close friends). I am shedding a few tears. Thought I'd come to terms with it but I am struggling with normal sadness but also borderline pd 'spite' at her leaving me and wanting to reject her. (I don't feel spiteful but if I had been younger and didn't understand my mh then I would have been overwhelmed).

    Got too much to do this week, but next week will be a breeze in comparison.

    ETA: WaS, I miss you too (but I am fine about you not posting if you don't feel able) I assume you are reading anyway. I am still reading when I don't post, and am mostly content aside from some money stupidity.
    Last edited by whitewing; 04-07-2017 at 12:05 PM.
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 4th Jul 17, 12:12 PM
    • 8,638 Posts
    • 15,516 Thanks
    calleyw
    Morning my lovelies,

    Hugs and handshakes and squishes all round.

    MU I hope you get to see a dr today.

    I am in one of my meh moods. I am just so lazy, can't be arsed to do anything. I can't even keep on top of 3 bed roomed house with 2 adults and one dog in it. I have no excuse. I am at home all day.

    I have not touched my cross stitch in nearly a year, I am just a big fat lazy heifer. Not sure how to break out of it. Not even dressed yet.

    I really don't want to go back to work. But will have to as not fair on AM to pay for everything. I kinda dampen down the guilt of that. Because there is no rent or mortgage to be paid. (yes I know I still owe my husband £35K) So I am saving AM a min of £500 a month his rent from his old place. And on fuel as he only has a 7 mile one way trip to work rather than 25 mile one way down the motorway trip to work.

    How did I manage to do it all when working full time and keeping a house and having hobbies.

    Need to snap out of it. But not sure how at the moment.

    Everyone take care.

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 4th Jul 17, 12:44 PM
    • 1,452 Posts
    • 4,162 Thanks
    Izadora
    WW - it's totally understandable to be upset, both about her leaving and feeling like you're being abandoned, and well done for recognising what you're feeling and not being overwhelmed by it.

    Calley - please try to be kind to yourself. You're not lazy/a heifer/any of the other negative things you're telling yourself.
    Also don't feel like you should go back to work, I know what I'm like and trying to avoid something I feel like I 'should' be doing is likely to make me bury my head in the sand and avoid absolutely everything.
    Rent is by far our biggest expense each month so keep trying to focus on just how much you're saving AM - it will be a lot more than he's paying out for any other shared expenses!
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 4th Jul 17, 1:07 PM
    • 1,712 Posts
    • 8,915 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    MU - I hope you managed to get an appointment today x

    WW - Well done for staying in control, and ofc we are all here for you

    Calleyw - I don't work, haven't since DS1 was born. My youngest is 18 now and it was never the plan to stay at home forever, but things turned out this way. Don't run yourself down or feel guilty x my DH always says he prefers me to be on an even keel than the times I've tried to stretch myself and ended up taking a nosedive!

    Tummy was playing merry hell with me yesterday so eating little and cautiously today I'm getting through the washing but the hoovering needs desperately doing - there's dust ball tumbleweed in the bathroom

    I hope everyone has a good day, hugs to those who need them
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 4th Jul 17, 1:18 PM
    • 11,529 Posts
    • 48,275 Thanks
    whitewing
    calley,

    I seem to spend my life thinking it will be easier when it's the school holidays, and then thinking it'll be easier when littlewing is back to school.

    Keeping on top of everything is such a nightmare. We seem to have a note home from school every other day about something else to remember.

    Need to not be so hard on ourselves. I have 2 major things this week that I haven't prepared properly for because if I do one, I stress about the other.
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • Artytarty
    • By Artytarty 4th Jul 17, 1:21 PM
    • 2,122 Posts
    • 4,626 Thanks
    Artytarty
    Hi all, I always read but don't post.
    You seem a lovely supportive group of people.
    I have anxiety and hypochondria ndria - for others as well as myself but struggle on mostly as I've got fairly good at hiding it.

    I do hope melly is ok? I haven't seen her post for ages, she has been having such a tough time.
    Norn Iron Club member 473
    • Pyxis
    • By Pyxis 4th Jul 17, 1:21 PM
    • 30,473 Posts
    • 112,167 Thanks
    Pyxis
    My friend of many, many, many years has come in to see me unexpectedly today. She is moving four hours drive away. Not quite moving yet but she has had an operation recently that she only said about today (mind you, the generation that hardly even told themselves about medical issues, let alone their close friends). I am shedding a few tears. Thought I'd come to terms with it but I am struggling with normal sadness but also borderline pd 'spite' at her leaving me and wanting to reject her. (I don't feel spiteful but if I had been younger and didn't understand my mh then I would have been overwhelmed).

    Got too much to do this week, but next week will be a breeze in comparison.

    ETA: WaS, I miss you too (but I am fine about you not posting if you don't feel able) I assume you are reading anyway. I am still reading when I don't post, and am mostly content aside from some money stupidity.
    Originally posted by whitewing
    I think the officer must have been very, very good at reading the signs and body language. Maybe he has had experience of mental illness, enough for his instinct to tell him the guy wasn't a real threat.

    Also, we didn't see what had happened immediately before, nor did we hear the conversation, and those things might also have indicated to an experienced person that this guy need help, not shooting!
    (I just lurve spiders! )
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom
    Founder Member: WIMPS ANONYMOUS
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 4th Jul 17, 5:35 PM
    • 18,784 Posts
    • 19,088 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Hello Artytarty! - very good to 'meet' you. Do feel free to make use of our virtual fort - the place we all retreat to when life gets a bit much. There is plenty of support here - we all try to look after each other. But yes, you're right - we haven't heard from melly for ages! *waves to melly* - do let us know how you are, hun!

    (And special hugs to WaS, who I am really really missing)
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 4th Jul 17, 6:06 PM
    • 8,638 Posts
    • 15,516 Thanks
    calleyw
    I am in regular contact with Melly.

    She is doing her best at the moment. But she is in a very difficult situation.

    Not going to say any more as not my place too. I know she will be touched that people are thinking of her and will let her know that you are.

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Artytarty
    • By Artytarty 4th Jul 17, 6:14 PM
    • 2,122 Posts
    • 4,626 Thanks
    Artytarty
    Thank you Calley, I hope she knows how much she is thought o f and missed.
    Norn Iron Club member 473
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 4th Jul 17, 7:02 PM
    • 5,683 Posts
    • 13,032 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Thank you all
    Cal let me.know I need to check in.

    OH was discharged a couple of weeks ago without a care plan and with some open wounds so my time is spent taking care of him.

    Love and miss you all though xx
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 4th Jul 17, 7:32 PM
    • 18,784 Posts
    • 19,088 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Big hugs, melly. Lovely to hear from you and shocked to hear that there is no CP *yet again*. Have you tried involving your MP?
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 5th Jul 17, 12:30 AM
    • 5,683 Posts
    • 13,032 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Not much use JM
    best place for OH is here
    Best place for me is bed probably I am worn out

    Luckily have the support of Calley and some family would have collapsed.otherwise.

    MU as I am.avoiding help for.my ED at the minute I can't really talk but please speak to your GP about your meds they have been off for at least.6 months.

    Gonna try and sleep now
    Have loads of animal.pics for when I am able to post em

    Eta OH died twice that I know of,from the meeting with the consultant it was more than that and they didn't think he'd survive
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 5th Jul 17, 8:09 AM
    • 7,611 Posts
    • 16,788 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Melly I'm so glad to hear from you, but you know you need to look after yourself to be able to look after OH...*love and more love*

    MU I hope you managed to get an appointment!

    A bit of good news...I start my new job on the 17th! Nasty lady from here is ignoring me. Which is GREAT haha!

    Love to everyone (miss you WaS!),

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #JC4PM
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 5th Jul 17, 11:04 AM
    • 1,452 Posts
    • 4,162 Thanks
    Izadora
    Melly, it's good to hear from you. I hope OH is improving and please try to look after yourself.

    MU, did you manage to get an appointment? I hope things are a bit better for you.

    HBS, good luck for the new job and enjoy the peace of being ignored.

    Hugs and squishes to all xx
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 5th Jul 17, 11:11 AM
    • 8,638 Posts
    • 15,516 Thanks
    calleyw
    out
    Luckily have the support of Calley and some family would have collapsed.otherwise.
    Originally posted by mellymoo74
    Not sure how much help I have been. But always there for you to talk to.

    Well my lovelies. Dog mugged me off this morning. Did not want to go for a walk so went on my own

    Anyway have wiped down, tided and hoovered up in the kitchen. Hoovered and dusted in the living room. Given the hoover a rest due to the amount of dog hair and washed the hepa filter. So wont be able to use it for the rest of the day while the filter dries out.

    Its warmer today so please stay hydrated.

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 5th Jul 17, 7:29 PM
    • 1,712 Posts
    • 8,915 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Lots of hugs to those who need them right now xx

    Melly I always love your animal photos and look forward to seeing them when you're ready
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 5th Jul 17, 11:54 PM
    • 17,024 Posts
    • 44,761 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    hey there

    i havent been to the doctor yet but i've realised what was going off. Instead of taking 2 10mg tablets i've only been taking the 5mg ones (the packing is the same and its usually dark when i take them). I realised this last night and found my others ones and took the full dose, have felt much better today, more level. However i will get an appointment if it gets any worse. The confusing thoughts are gone and i don;t feel as racing as before. Hopefully now im back on the proper dose i should level out. Sorry for concerning anyone. xx
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 1lbs
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 6th Jul 17, 12:00 AM
    • 1,712 Posts
    • 8,915 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    MU I'm really glad you are feeling better can you pop the 5mg ones in a different drawer so they don't get mixed up again? X
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 6th Jul 17, 12:16 AM
    • 17,024 Posts
    • 44,761 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    MU I'm really glad you are feeling better can you pop the 5mg ones in a different drawer so they don't get mixed up again? X
    Originally posted by dandy-candy
    I will do, i'll try and keep them seperate, need to check which ones i have at Swains (the bf) to make sure i dont get mixed up again.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 1lbs
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