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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,098Posts
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 425
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 15th Mar 17, 2:42 PM
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    tea lover
    Pink and grey would look awesome
    • codemonkey
    • By codemonkey 15th Mar 17, 2:59 PM
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    codemonkey
    Did you get the job application finished tea? Is it for something you're excited about?
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 15th Mar 17, 3:10 PM
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    tea lover
    I did get it finished, thanks code. The closing date was midday today and I got it in on Monday..... so now am just waiting. Interview are a week on Monday (27th) so at least I have a good cut off point to know whether they're interested or not.

    I am quite excited (well, as much excitement as I can muster for work, when I'd always rather be at home with P cat and a book). It's not at all safety related (thank goodness), so that in itself is exiting .

    Are you counting the hours yet?? Only just over a week yes?
    • codemonkey
    • By codemonkey 15th Mar 17, 3:31 PM
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    codemonkey
    I'll keep my fingers crossed for you tea.

    I've got a week left to go, so that's good. I am feeling like a major disappointment and failure but it's the right choice. And of course, because I have another job, now I'm getting emails from recruiters

    Currently looking at electric bikes to make the commute a little less long.
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 15th Mar 17, 3:41 PM
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    tea lover
    I know this sounds trite (as ever ) but I really do think that accepting the new place wasn't for you and being proactive about sorting it is a fantastic achievement, and one you should be proud of. If it were me, I'd definitely still be stuck in the new place.... moaning but too scared to do anything .

    ETA: plus, it wasn't even that short a stint at new place. Got to be over six months now isn't it? I see CVs with far shorter roles on that that..... just how things work now.
    • codemonkey
    • By codemonkey 15th Mar 17, 3:51 PM
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    codemonkey
    Honestly, the thought of staying there was so horrible as to override the humiliation of asking for my old job back. And actually, it was quite nice to see how much they wanted me back, even if that was only because nobody else wanted the job.

    I made it 6 months in the new place so it doesn't look so bad. I can probably spin that.
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
    • codemonkey
    • By codemonkey 15th Mar 17, 3:52 PM
    • 6,513 Posts
    • 23,329 Thanks
    codemonkey
    I'd always rather be at home with P cat and a book
    Originally posted by tea lover
    I'd always rather be at home with DA dog and a book. Is there any way we can make this into a full time job?
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 15th Mar 17, 4:06 PM
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    tea lover
    I'd always rather be at home with DA dog and a book. Is there any way we can make this into a full time job?
    Originally posted by codemonkey
    I am desperately trying to find a way.... no luck so far.

    On the plus side, it is a beautiful spring-like day today. Was so foggy on the way to work that I couldn't see anything but it's turned into a corker of a day. I'm stuck in a horrible office so am definitely not making the most of it but just knowing that spring is out there is really helping my mood. The lighter mornings have also made a huge difference.

    How far will your commute be when the job changes? Am excited about the thought of an electric bike!
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 15th Mar 17, 5:42 PM
    • 16,878 Posts
    • 44,306 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Go Code for doing the scary thing! I reckon that would look lovely i havent been to a hairdressers in years, mainly cos of all the dying my hair its not really grown enough for a haircut that reminds me i bumped into a lovely lass in poundland the other week who complimented me on my hair and we got talking and she said collegen tablets worked wonders on her growing her hair (i couldnt see her hair she had a hijab on :P ) but i might go down that route.

    Yay tea for completing the applications, fingers crossed for you and hope you get good news soon.

    I met my honorary nice yesterday, shes adorable, shes about 2 weeks old atm. Mum and dad seem to be doing just fine, their little boy was on holiday with his grandparents so i didn't get to see him but i left him and easter egg and small birthday present. [small penguin] To my surprise i didn't feel broody this time (i did when their little boy was born). My friend asked me if i wanted kids and i was honest and said no. Theres too many things that could go wrong mental health wise, i doubt i'd cope with being up all night and not sleeping or the effects of my meds. and i couldnt live with myself if a child of mine had to suffer mentally like i have because i'd passed it onto them. [/penguin]

    I went for a walk today!! Did an hour doing two different parks. Made sure i was walking briskly. As much i as detest people telling me exercise will cure everything, i have to concede it has impoived my mood. Next step swimming and zumba!

    Off to see my friend who's moved closer to me. Her OH is cooking us food I feel bad cos im the fussiest person ever but bless them they do alays ask waht id prefer. Will be noce to see them.

    Then i have the doctors appointment in the morning. I'll let you know what happens.

    Then i'm back to Swain's, he's booked friday off so we are having a day out shopping

    This has been a busy week off so far!
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 16th Mar 17, 11:03 AM
    • 1,221 Posts
    • 3,425 Thanks
    Izadora
    Currently looking at electric bikes to make the commute a little less long.
    Originally posted by codemonkey
    They're amazing! I absolutely loathe cycling and the first time we hired bikes on holiday I came very close to throwing mine into the sea with frustration at how hard it was to get up a hill. Last year I had an electric bike and, along the same stretch of road, went zipping past IzHe with hardly any effort and quite a lot of giggling
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 16th Mar 17, 11:11 AM
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    tea lover
    I have an image of you sailing uphill with your feet up on the crossbar, whistling away while IzHe slogs away .
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 16th Mar 17, 3:04 PM
    • 11,490 Posts
    • 48,097 Thanks
    whitewing
    I got up early for a training session at the nearest city. It went well - I learned some new things - mainly that it was still worth going even though I hadn't done all the prep. (I wasn't facilitating).

    I now have peace and quiet at home. DH has gone off to spend some money that his mum has given him for some new clothes.

    I have got what I need for the fancy dress costume, so I am going to fiddle around with that this afternoon. However, there are a number of unfinished jobs around the house and I sort of want to do them first. But I know they will take me all afternoon if I do.

    I am tired as well so I need to do something restful for a bit.

    (I am a bit disappointed as someone offered to make something really nice and unexpected for littlewing but has now changed their mind. I knew they wouldn't be able to do it (and littlewing doesn't know about it) but it still upsets me slightly that I got the offer unprompted in the first place. This is the curse of borderline pd - the disappointment could easily become 'I am unworthy'.
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 16th Mar 17, 3:42 PM
    • 8,572 Posts
    • 15,227 Thanks
    calleyw
    Afternoon my lovelies,

    Hugs and handshakes and squishes all round.

    Did my second couch 2 5k run last night. Can hardly walk again today

    Me and AM had a little disagreement last night. I did not realise how badly it would effect him. I learnt last night he is so scared of messing up with me. he still blames himself for his marriage failing and he can't work out what he could have done different. It concerns me that he is on edge most of the time. Which to me, for him will take the shine off our relationship.

    No idea what I can do to help.

    WW, I really don't like people who do that. You either do what you say or keep quiet. I have had some many offers of help to help with the house or garden. I never took them up as I knew when I wanted to take them up there would excuses.

    Good luck Tea hope you get an interview.

    Everyone take care.

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 16th Mar 17, 4:05 PM
    • 1,221 Posts
    • 3,425 Thanks
    Izadora
    Tea - I did have to pedal but you're not far off.

    WW - that's definitely annoying but in no way related to your or your worth and everything to do with them. Is it someone that you know can be flaky or did they really mean to help but something unavoidable came up?

    Calley - As someone who panics every time we have an argument that IzHe's going to decide he's had enough and leave me, there's not really a lot you can do to help other than keep on being there and reassuring him that you don't have to agree on everything for you to love him.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 16th Mar 17, 4:20 PM
    • 8,572 Posts
    • 15,227 Thanks
    calleyw
    -
    Calley - As someone who panics every time we have an argument that IzHe's going to decide he's had enough and leave me, there's not really a lot you can do to help other than keep on being there and reassuring him that you don't have to agree on everything for you to love him.
    Originally posted by Izadora
    Izzy thanks for that. I am anxious person myself. But since being with AM i have calmed down a lot and been a lot happier.

    He knows I am with him for him. I know I am biased but I think he is an amazing person. Which is why I don't understand why he has been treated in the way he has been in the past.

    We both have a trait of untidiness. But with stuff still coming in the house and having no home its driving me up the wall. I know its been 4 years since living with someone in a relationship. Don't count lodger. But I get to point where I go that its. And tidy up.

    Not sure if its a man thing or a AM thing that he seems to be blind to the mess and what needs doing!!!

    Just feel I am losing control of my own household.

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 16th Mar 17, 4:54 PM
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    tea lover
    I think it's very easy to underestimate just how much adjustment is needed when you move in together - even when you have both lived with other people previously.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 16th Mar 17, 9:13 PM
    • 8,572 Posts
    • 15,227 Thanks
    calleyw
    Tea,

    You are right. And even though we have spent prolonged periods living at my place. He still had his place and all his stuff there.

    It just getting on top of everything and finding homes for it all.


    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 16th Mar 17, 10:19 PM
    • 18,331 Posts
    • 18,501 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Hello all

    Cheltenham this week so we match bettors are very busy. Wanted to pop in to give and receive hugs, though, and to wish everyone well. MU - I am sooo impressed that your broodiness is under control, and wish you special good wishes for stabilising and getting on well with your mental health team xxxx

    WaS, if you are reading, lots and lots of love to you too xxxxxxx

    And hugs and squishes to all! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~XXXXXXXXX(((((((((((())))))))))))
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
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    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 17th Mar 17, 12:48 PM
    • 7,379 Posts
    • 16,175 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    I just had a phone interview for an important and slightly scary job that I am SUPER interested in so fingers crossed please

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 17th Mar 17, 1:48 PM
    • 7,994 Posts
    • 35,615 Thanks
    tea lover
    *does happy vibes job dance*

    Go hbs!!
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