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  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    • 5,072Posts
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    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 5:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 5:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 424
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 13th Mar 17, 6:59 PM
    • 7,912 Posts
    • 35,232 Thanks
    tea lover
    Wondering how many onion bhajees is too many??
    • codemonkey
    • By codemonkey 13th Mar 17, 8:06 PM
    • 6,504 Posts
    • 23,289 Thanks
    codemonkey
    There are never too many onion bhajis.

    I need some encouragement. I need to go to a hairdresser. My greys are becoming ever more ubiquitous, and the store dyes aren't covering them anymore so I need to get highlights or something put it. I am afraid of hairdressers.
    Last edited by codemonkey; 13-03-2017 at 8:17 PM.
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 13th Mar 17, 8:31 PM
    • 14,221 Posts
    • 35,046 Thanks
    elsien
    That was me, code. I'd never been to a hairdresser, so went to one a friend recommended.
    The brief was "I have no idea what I want or what you do. I want to look less old, still natural, and without a big obvious ring round the top when it grows out."
    They didn't laugh at me. I ended up with a full head of foils (basically highlights. . I think. Or possibly not.) in two shades of brown, which still left bits of gray showing to blend it all in. They suggested lighter tones which scared the crap out of me, but which I'm working towards as I get braver. The plan is to lighten it over time so the grey isn't too obvious as there gets more of it.
    They don't cut it and I also dry it myself to keep the price down, or more often walk out with it still wet because I'm very easily bored. and you don't have to talk if you don't want to - they take their cue from you.
    Last edited by elsien; 13-03-2017 at 8:38 PM.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • codemonkey
    • By codemonkey 13th Mar 17, 8:42 PM
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    codemonkey
    Thanks elsien. I need to dye it every 2 weeks or the greys look really obvious and the dying is a pain and not great for my hair.

    I don't mind them cutting it or dying it lighter. I just panic at the small talk aspect.
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 13th Mar 17, 8:45 PM
    • 14,221 Posts
    • 35,046 Thanks
    elsien
    Mine now lasts about 12 weeks, sometimes longer, so that's not a huge amount of small talk in a year. And there's a lot of time while the dye takes while I'm on my own reading my book. It's not as bad as you think.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 13th Mar 17, 10:48 PM
    • 2,693 Posts
    • 5,871 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    I don't mind them cutting it or dying it lighter. I just panic at the small talk aspect.
    Originally posted by codemonkey
    Barber I go seems happy to work in silence, thankfully. If he didn't, I'd probably look for another!
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek.
    Home is where my books are.
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 14th Mar 17, 8:24 AM
    • 7,912 Posts
    • 35,232 Thanks
    tea lover
    I love the peace and quiet of getting my hair cut! Obviously I say hello when I go in but after a quick chat about what I want doing I then just sit there is blissful silence while they work. I just tell myself they must be glad of the chance not to feign interest in someone's holiday for 10 mins
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 14th Mar 17, 11:35 AM
    • 11,467 Posts
    • 47,989 Thanks
    whitewing
    I went to a charity shop this morning on a fruitless search for littlewing's costume top (which I ended up getting new from Primark for £3 - probably cheaper than the charity shop would have sold it for). I have just bought myself the most gorgeous cream jumper and helped the local cancer hospice too. Feels good.

    I put a lot of effort into exercise over the weekend and today I ache.

    More strange dreams overnight - the latest involved a lot of blood from the person in the next cubicle. I think my brain is getting rid of old memories by combining them with recent events etc.

    Better get on with some work as I am going blood doning later.
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 14th Mar 17, 1:24 PM
    • 8,561 Posts
    • 15,183 Thanks
    calleyw
    Afternoon my Lovelies,

    Hugs and squishes and handshake all round. Its a bit quiet in here. No WaS and no Pyxis about. I hope you are ok?

    Had a very lazy sunday. Cooked a sunday lunch and then went off to play computer games on our pcs. Then about 8pm snuggled down and watched some more of the west wing. Our replacement for the big band theory.

    Yesterday was a bit manic for me. Took the dog out twice. Walked a mile and half to husbands and then tried to do the first session of couch to 5k with AM at 10pm last night. I failed and I ache all over today. And not going out with AM again. I had the MP3 player and head phones. He finished it off but I failed and did not finish and had to walk home.

    Fell awful today and doubt I will get much done. And mislaid my phone again. For flipping heck sake. I am going to put it on a lead and tie it to my wrist

    Everyone take care.

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • codemonkey
    • By codemonkey 14th Mar 17, 2:15 PM
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    codemonkey
    Calley. - I did couch to 5k on my own, which I think helped because I could go at my own pace. I think the mistake a lot of people make with it, especially if they haven't done much running for a while, is to sprint when it's time to run, then they find it too hard and give up. I always took it at a slow pace, then pushed harder if I found it was ok. When I was struggling, I slowed down to a jog or essentially a bouncy walk as long as I kept going and I wasn't afraid to walk slowly on the recovery time if I needed to. You can build speed later. It's about getting your body used to it. In any case, you should pat yourself on the back for trying, don't let it get to you and try again. A little bit of exercise is better than none. Says she who does no exercise. (I have completed c25k in the past though and will probably pick it up again when I start back in the old job).
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 14th Mar 17, 2:36 PM
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    • 35,232 Thanks
    tea lover
    I got as far as trying to download C2-5k and got stuck at that point.... that was at least 3 years ago and I haven't even thought about it since..... so you're all doing a LOT better than me .
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 14th Mar 17, 2:38 PM
    • 8,561 Posts
    • 15,183 Thanks
    calleyw
    Thanks code,

    I have done this before but never ached as much and never not finished it.

    You might be right as AM has longer legs than me so I think I might have tried to keep up with him. But during it my hip did hurt a little bit. Never done that before.

    I can hardly move today LOL!!!

    Mind you both AM's mum and family friend and my own mum said they all thought he had lost weight. Weight food Penguin I am struggling and seem to be gaining not losing and just stuffing my face. And not sure why I can't seem to stop!!! I can't afford it on any level either physically or financially. Penguin end

    And I am about to run out of money and have a £300 ish credit card bill due on the 19th and I have no money!!!! Seeing as AM has been living here and virtually paying nothing. I will get some extra money out of him next pay day as he should have no rent or any other bills to pay at his old place.

    I need to go back to work but to scared and no transport so that limits my options big time.

    Any way everyone take care

    Yours

    Calley X
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • tea lover
    • By tea lover 14th Mar 17, 2:48 PM
    • 7,912 Posts
    • 35,232 Thanks
    tea lover
    Hopefully once you start sharing the finances properly it will all seem a lot more manageable calley.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 14th Mar 17, 9:50 PM
    • 16,822 Posts
    • 44,164 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    Soo..ended up going home early from work on thuesday, had had no sleep for 2 days at that point and my mood was very very up. Doctors phone line opened at 8:15 on frday morning, between then and 8:45 i rang them over 30 times trying to get through and when i did fnally get through they had no appointments left i insisted that i needed to speak to a doctor so they said they'd get on eot call me. Spoke to doctor and she decided my mood stabliser needed doubling to max dosage and that i had to split the dose so i coul take some straight away. Felt knackered on friday taki g them but somehow surivivd work on saturday. Now on holiday until next sat (basically sick leave, if i didnt have the holiday i'd have been off sick). Seeing my GP thursday to sort out CMHT referal and everything else. Feeling very sedated but functioning at least. Oh and have to have a meeting with occ health and area manager which i'm dreading they seem to want a clear reason as to why i'm not well and i don;t have an answer. I'm just not.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
    • elsien
    • By elsien 14th Mar 17, 9:59 PM
    • 14,221 Posts
    • 35,046 Thanks
    elsien
    As well as wanting to help you, its possibly a backside covering exercise on their part as well, MU. Checking that it's not something work related that's triggered things for you.
    Sorry it's taken so long to get an appt and I hope the CMHT referral will be quick. Could it include seeing a psychiatrist for a review, if you think that would be helpful?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 14th Mar 17, 11:04 PM
    • 16,822 Posts
    • 44,164 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    As well as wanting to help you, its possibly a backside covering exercise on their part as well, MU. Checking that it's not something work related that's triggered things for you.
    Sorry it's taken so long to get an appt and I hope the CMHT referral will be quick. Could it include seeing a psychiatrist for a review, if you think that would be helpful?
    Originally posted by elsien
    I'm hoping it includes seeing a psychiatrist cos trying to manage on my own isn't working and could do with some clarity on my diagnosis. treatment and if i have a care plan.
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 14th Mar 17, 11:28 PM
    • 11,467 Posts
    • 47,989 Thanks
    whitewing
    MU,

    Would it be worth talking to MIND about your meeting with Occ Health? Personally, I think when so little is understood about mh in the workplace plus with you being unwell, you need to get some proper advice.

    I miss the non-posting peeps - hello.

    Lambyr, what was that bookwriting software you spoke about ages ago? I want to recommend it to someone.
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
    • xXMessedUpXx
    • By xXMessedUpXx 15th Mar 17, 12:40 AM
    • 16,822 Posts
    • 44,164 Thanks
    xXMessedUpXx
    MU,

    Would it be worth talking to MIND about your meeting with Occ Health? Personally, I think when so little is understood about mh in the workplace plus with you being unwell, you need to get some proper advice.

    I miss the non-posting peeps - hello.

    Lambyr, what was that bookwriting software you spoke about ages ago? I want to recommend it to someone.
    Originally posted by whitewing
    Thats an idea.

    I know there was an occupational health service at my old GPs they might be able to help, otherwise i have the numbers of a few mental health charities that might help. i dislike having to see my area manager at the best of times so this is the part i'm dreading.

    oh btw i had that conversation with the girl at work, she admitted she's stressed and struggling so i told her about my expereinces and told her if she needs me to talk to me
    "Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up"
    To see the rainbow you need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear
    weight lost: 0lbs
    • codemonkey
    • By codemonkey 15th Mar 17, 10:12 AM
    • 6,504 Posts
    • 23,289 Thanks
    codemonkey
    Argh. I have just done a very brave thing and booked a hair appointment. Should be a nice easy thing but I swear it took me about 20 minutes staring at the number on my keypad before I made the call. I actually did some work instead of making the call

    Why are hairdressers so scary?

    Thinking for asking for something like this but maybe with the ends pink.
    Last edited by codemonkey; 15-03-2017 at 11:40 AM.
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
    • whitewing
    • By whitewing 15th Mar 17, 12:18 PM
    • 11,467 Posts
    • 47,989 Thanks
    whitewing
    Yes, code. That would look gorgeous and I would love the pink ends too. (Which littlewing says I must have when my hair goes - totally - grey).
    When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
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