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  • FIRST POST
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 29th Jan 16, 7:54 AM
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    lulabelle
    2016 - a year of change
    • #1
    • 29th Jan 16, 7:54 AM
    2016 - a year of change 29th Jan 16 at 7:54 AM
    At 1pm yesterday I walked away from a job which caused me to lose my hair, experience depression, anxiety attacks and general bouts of ill health frequently. At several points I scratched my own arms hard, or felt like driving myself into a wall, hoped I would fall down the stairs or develop some non-fatal illness just so I didn't have to go to work.

    From 530pm today I will be unemployed.

    I felt very strange yesterday afternoon, there were lots of tears and lots of panic as to what the hell I had done - after all, I started out on the path of this career almost 20 years ago. I had spent the last 5 clawing my way up the greasy ladder of a male dominated profession with plenty of blood, sweat and tears along the way. I had got to the point where I was being respected (by most) locally as being good at what I did. I had a title and therefore (which I think is wrong but it's just the way it is) "status" locally. And I walked away from it.

    Today I feel a sense of total calm.

    I am free from the shackles of litigation. The constant demands from clients, bosses, the court and opposing counsel, people constantly trying to trip you up, the sheer focus on money, billing and getting work through the door. Free from constantly feeling not good enough and being brought down.

    And the best thing is (which was unexpected as I had been planning to jump into the unknown and take a good 6 months off) I have another job to go to in 3.5 months time! Came about from me bumping into someone I have fought against many a time and mentioning I would be interested if ever they were looking for someone in a support role (no cases, drafting precedents and articles and keeping other lawyers up to date with developments in the law). One casual coffee and a formal interview with a panel of 3 and they've offered me the job. 4 days a week. Taking a pay cut BUT worked out with their package, if I pro-rated the job I have just left down to 4 days a week, I would be on about the same at the new job.

    I am going to embrace the 3.5 months off and whilst I don't want to waste it, I also want to give myself rest.

    I got up at 645 today and fuelled up so I can go for a run at nine. Then going to sort out some boxes in the spare room and have lunch with one of the court officials who I am friendly with. I will then come back home and clean for a little while to get the house nice then possibly read or watch some more 'blacklist'. Out for dinner tonight (chinese) with the boy to celebrate my escape.

    So, 2016 is going to be a year of change. I am fully ready to embrace the challenges it brings and I am hoping that I prove to have made the right decision.

    The other challenge is, of course, going to be to watch the pennies as I am unemployed for several months and when I do go back, it is less money coming in each month so I will have to be more frugal!
    I want to be a writer
Page 5
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 1st Oct 16, 9:46 AM
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    lulabelle
    So, thought I had been rumbled (identity wise) and switched to a new diary (which was a bit pants) but think I was just being paranoid so hi again guys!

    Lots has happened since my last post in April. Started my new job which is MUCH better. Working only 4 days a week and am not expected to have emails sent to my phone or be contactable when on holiday - total opposite to last job and on our recent 2 week hol to Italy was bliss not to worry about work or have to check emails/phone!

    Still not convinced I want to be in law BUT the boy and I have decided given my age (I turned 38 last week) that we are going to start trying for a baby no later than september next year! So thinking that this job is pretty perfect as could alter my hours if required as they don't need me to work normal office hours and have even said I can work from home for some of the time. Plus I worked out with their benefits/bonus package I'm actually earning just over what I was in previous role pro-rated! (though obv significantly less in actual cash is coming through the door each month).

    Finances: hmmmm. well, I had saved a fair pot but I have to extend my leasehold on my property in UK. Landlord was wanting 90k! (which I just don't have) based on her own internet research but I pointed out she had said there were only 51 years to run when in fact there were 61 (which makes a massive difference) so she's now instructed a surveyor (at my expense) and come back with 48,500. Hoping we can now agree a figure but that with costs will pretty much wipe me out.

    Boy and I are looking to sell our respective places (he's lived here for over a year now and his flat is rented out) and buy together. Put his on market in august but so far only 2 viewings and no offers. We are (well, he is) currently in process of tarting this place up (spare room was awful brown colour and floor (floorboards painted white) was screwed) - he has totally re-painted (I helped a bit) spare room a beautiful dove grey colour and has sanded and painted the floor - then we will put on in january but suspect we will have trouble selling.

    So pennies need to be saved as we may end up having to keep his place and rent it out if it won't sell which will mean needing to use everything we have for deposit/fees.

    On that note, boy went out with work last night and I stayed in. I'd usually get a take out but to save (and also cos I couldn't be arsed to go out and they don't really deliver here) I made a pasta dish from stores.

    Today have ordered some new sheets for bed (we needed these as got a new mattress ages ago but it's really deep compared to last and sheets kept coming off) so just under 12 each. Have to get some storage boxes and a few bits from shop which they didn't have yesterday. B's mum coming over for dinner tonight but that will be from stores. Tomorrow is a run (hopefully!) then to B's mums and dinner from stores. Shouldn't need to spend anything next week apart from lunch out with a friend thurs. From thus night it gets expensive as my brother and sister-in-law visiting but that's for another post!
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 2nd Oct 16, 4:24 PM
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    lulabelle
    Why oh why I cannot stick to budgets and reign in the spending I do not know!

    Went to supermarket yesterday to get the odd bits I couldn't find on friday and came to a whopping £36.09 on top of the £98 we spent friday!!!! Then bought a mini chopper - £19.99 as been saying for ages we need one.

    Boy's mum came over for dinner last night and we made her an italian feast with some of the stuff we brought back from italy But had to pop out and get another bottle of wine and ended up buying us all a kit kat cookie dough (as new and looked interesting!) so another £8.95 though thankfully was from some cash we had sitting around which we didn't use last week so already accounted for in budget.

    Today we have been doing lots of painting and tidying of house and haven't gone to boy's mum''s. Putting a lamb shoulder on for tea to have with wraps, yoghurt and rice and as it's a whole shoulder (was on offer so same price as the half shoulder we would usually get) there should be some to take to work in sandwiches. For lunch we had leftover butternut squash risotto from last night even though the boy had suggested going out (I said we shouldn't as we are trying to save).

    Shouldn't spend much this week apart from milk and we possibly also need some jacket potatoes and beans (depends if can stretch leftovers). Lunch out with a friend thursday but hopefully not more than £15.
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 3rd Oct 16, 8:56 PM
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    lulabelle
    managed a NSD today - had brekkie before I left for work (to stop me having a biscuit for breakfast) then lunch was lamb and yoghurt wrap with leftover lamb from last night, plus nak*d bar. Didn't leave work until 610 as was chatting to someone then made a thai green chicken curry and rice from stores. pudding was ice cream plus crushed up biscotti and balsamic condiment (like balsamic vinegar but less vinegar-y and thicker) we brought back from Italia.

    Tomorrow I will need to get jacket pots and beans for our tea but that should come out of cash we have left over so not ticking down my monthly budget. Trying to stay in the office at lunch so I won't be tempted to spend!

    I AM going to run tomorrow. Even if it kills me. Just did the exercises my physio gave me as my body is basically shot. She says she's no idea how I ran the marathon - I have real neck problems, lazy glutes and over developed quads! But I have to exercise or I will go insane!!!
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 4th Oct 16, 8:02 AM
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    lulabelle
    so thought today would be out of cash we already have spare so not ticking monthly budget down but the boy has developed a cold so has asked if I can pick up some lemsip. Might therefore get a few other things from b**ts that I need in a few days anyway if today has to be a spend day - boo!

    Going to take my running stuff to work and go for a run after work! Otherwise I will be fat forever!!!!
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 4th Oct 16, 7:18 PM
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    lulabelle
    Spent £6.43 on way home on lemsip, milk, j.pots and beans. Was unavoidable as that was what we had planned for dinner and the boy needed lemsip. In reality only £3.21.5 as we split everything so not too bad.

    Nabbed some free fruit left over from a meeting at work today: lovely sliced kiwi fruit, seedless grapes and strawberries. Now we are talking about trying for a baby next year I have to start eating fruit and veg where I can as I have avoided it for years.

    Tomorrow have a meeting at 9am where pastries provided so free brekkie.

    RAN tonight - first time in MONTHS - only managed 25 mins actual running with 15 mins brisk walking but it's a start and I feel better and more energised.

    The lease extension is getting me down. Just seems to be more and more cash and will almost wipe me out. Now I've discovered that if the premium is over 40k and it results in my owning 2 or more houses (which it will) I have to pay SDLT which could potentially be another £1500. This is on top of the premium, my lawyers and surveyors costs and her lawyers and surveyors costs. It really is depressing me and part of me is just tempted to flog that property as soon as I've sorted the lease and get the equity out. The other part of me says that would be stupid as it is in Tooting which is only going to increase in value in all likelihood.

    Just comes at a bad time as we need all the cash we can get to buy our house together. Maybe I need to ask if I can go back full time but I don't think they have the budget for me.

    One positive is I spoke to jeweller today about my old engagement ring and he's going to make me an offer for the stone. Will see what that is but might help
    I want to be a writer
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 8th Oct 16, 8:14 PM
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    Seasidegal58
    Hi lulabelle

    Have really enjoyed reading through your diary and have subscribed.

    Your lease extension sounds a real pain - I speak from experience! I'm probably telling my grandmother how to suck eggs here as you have a law background, but if you feel you are being overcharged by your freeholder have you looked up on the Government Lease Valuation website to ascertain if it would be worth going to the Lease Valuation Tribunal to find out if they would rule on a more reasonable sum?

    Still I think you are right about Tooting..........
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Scrimpy Goal - Emergency Fund - £10,000
    Currently: £6027.22 (25/11/2016)

    My debt free diary - " Paid off the £31,000 - BUT still scrimping!"

    NST: December 2016- NSDs: 1/15
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 13th Oct 16, 5:47 PM
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    lulabelle
    Thanks SSG! Based on what I've read, I don't think she is over charging (well, the 90k was!) to the point where a tribunal will think she is being unreasonable but I do need to get it down to a more manageable sum as it will wipe me out!

    So, over a week since I posted. I came down with a horrendous cold on thursday and not quite sure how I managed to get through the day at work. My brother and his wife arrived really late (midnight) so not a great start to weekend. Didn't spend too huge amounts over weekend so that was good.

    Ordered a few things from amazon this week including a book on pre-pregnancy and some ovulation strips (both of which friends recommended) and I proudly have 660 in this month's budget to last me until wednesday as we get paid next thursday. Will not actually be that much to squirrel away as I "borrowed" around 350 from another account to top up the leasehold deposit and so have to pay that back as that is earmarked for lawyers fees and excess on the drain works at our house! will probably whack anything else left over towards lawyers fee/excess drains as bound to need it.

    shouldn't be too spendy a weekend - got to do the usual "big shop" tomorrow and have budgeted 75 each for that - this week we need things like coffee, loo roll, washing powder etc which will all add to the bill. We are, however, other than going to the boy's mum's on sunday, staying in this weekend and I am cooking and the boy revising. So should be a relatively cheap weekend.
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 16th Oct 16, 10:11 AM
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    lulabelle
    Didn't end up doing the big shop friday as I had an appointment at lunchtime and the boy didn't finish work until 630. So we were bad and got takeaway - £28 between us. But the boy really wasn't very well and was pretty stressed so didn't really want him to have to schlep out to supermarket with me. Plus by the time he got home I was in PJ's on sofa with candles lit so didn't feel much like moving!

    Sat am I did the shopping as the boy had to revise. Took me 2 hours as no one place had all the things we needed! Anyway, it came in at around £119 between us, so adding take out to that, came in just under my £75 budget which is good.

    We had soup and toast for lunch after I got back from shops. Was going to go into town but avoided it so no spending. Last night made sherry braised pork cheeks from stores and had that with rice. Was pretty nice but pretty rich! Watched loads of Desperate Housewives - the boy loves it!

    Today we are off to the boy's mums for lunch then making lemon and lavender chicken from stores for tea.

    Hoping this week will be no or low spend (up until pay day anyway) as have everything we need in the house for lunches/suppers. Have £582 left from this month's budget so will try to get to Thurs without spending then can ping that over to pay back the deposit monies and drains excess and give myself a little extra in case drain works are more expensive (which is inevitable really).

    The boy and I have decided to work on the basis that his flat won't sell in time for us to move which means we will be around £90 - 100k down which means (a) much smaller house and (b) will struggle for deposit and fees. So we are trying to squirrel away as much as possible between now and whenever we sell my place (not putting that on until jan as have work to do to it and we are v busy from now until xmas) whilst still trying to enjoy life given that (fingers crossed) our lives will be massively changing if we manage to have a baby.

    I don't feel old enough for this!
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 16th Oct 16, 3:58 PM
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    lulabelle
    back from lunch at the boy's mums and avoided shops on way home so should be a NSD! Made a raspberry and assam tea loaf yesterday and there's some left so we are going to have some of that with a cup of tea shortly. The boy is revising and I am going to read my book.

    Chicken is marinating in the fridge and we will have that later with some courgetti. This week I am out weds but it's for a team meal out so think that comes out of the team's social budget, plus I don't want to drink anyway as I find I don't sleep well so hopefully won't cost me anything. Picked the boy up a beef cannelloni reduced down to £1.99 yesterday so that's in freezer for him to have when I'm out. Rest of week should be from stores and there are some braised pig cheeks left over for the boy to take to work for lunch tomorrow.

    I also didn't get into the london marathon for next year. Quite gutted and don't think I'll get a charity place either as is a lot to raise and lots of people sponsored us last year - feel I can't lean on them again
    I want to be a writer
    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 18th Oct 16, 8:18 AM
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    Tete en l'Air
    Hi Lula, I confess I haven't read through the whole thread (or previous ones!) but well done on leaving a rubbish job even with nothing to go to, it takes guts.

    Also well done on your marathon, nice to 'meet' a fellow runner on here! I didn't get into London either but am considering Manchester or Liverpool Rock n Roll (I've already entered the half but I think you can upgrade). I'm beset with niggles at the mo but am hoping to get them sorted once and for all and start next year on the front foot

    I'm loving the sound of all your meals, you're inspiring me to be a bit more adventurous - lamb shoulders and pig cheeks - yum!
    Get Slinky for Santa Challenge: 3/11 (7/40 in total)
    *Currently reading: H is for Hawk (18/25 in 2016)
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 19th Oct 16, 8:08 AM
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    lulabelle
    Thanks T! Yes, I'm considering manchester too - though was a bit put off as one of my mates ran it last year (and in about 330 so wouldn't be in the massive queues of "normal" paced people!) and said that he was waiting 2 hours for his bag afterwards. So still giving that some thought.

    Been good this week (so far) and not spent anything. Monday was lunch from stores then made the lean in 15 chicken pie. Boy had the leftovers for his lunch yesterday and I had a work sandwich lunch as we had a lecture. Then had a meeting yesterday pm and someone bought me a drink afterwards. Came home and made chicken and chorizo from lean in 15. Today is last day before new month's pay/budget so trying to hold out. Though I do need my perfume as about to run out and wear it every day. Thinking I ought to get that as next month already looking expensive even in first week - fri night am taking the boy out to his fave restaurant to say thanks for all the decorating he's done, and sat night we are out for drinks/dinner with friends. Am also having haircut on fri pm as not had it cut (coloured only last time) since end april!

    Pricey!!!!!!!
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 20th Oct 16, 7:55 PM
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    lulabelle
    So, made it to a new pay day (today) without spending anything! Took sandwich and supplies from stores to work yesterday then last night we had a team night out paid for by the firm. Managed to forget to get my perfume yesterday so didn't spend anything! Meant I had £578 leftover from last month's spending budget (though in reality I "owed" myself around £314 I had "borrowed" to pay the 10% deposit on my leasehold extension so paid that back into the relevant account and then chucked the rest into savings. Then gave self a new budget from this month's pay and whacked rest in savings. Trying to save save save for new house.

    Spent £3.42 on way home on some sandwiches for me and the boy tomorrow (he has an exam and didn't think we had enough in for making our own lunch tomorrow plus I'm off tomorrow so more handy) and cheesecake to watch last night's bake off with. It came to £6.83 but boy pays half so £3.42 for me.

    Tomorrow will be expensive as having hair cut in afternoon then taking the boy out for dinner tomorrow. It's one of those restaurants you really only go to as a treat as its pretty pricey, but he has worked really hard on the spare room so he deserves it.

    Loving only working 4 days and the fact that when I get home on a thursday it's my weekend! New boss is pretty good - have taken on an extra external role at his request and it's quite a busy job dealing with the public/other lawyers. As I don't work fridays/go on hols a lot, asked him if I should be getting those emails sent to my phone and he said no!!!
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 21st Oct 16, 12:53 PM
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    lulabelle
    So far today have spent nothing as haven't left the house! We were trying to get Phil Collins tickets this am but despite logging on at exactly 9am when they went on sale, they were sold out by the time we got through! In some ways good, as was looking v expensive!

    The boy is off work today as he has an exam at 2pm so is revising in kitchen. We have had breakfast and lunch from stores (the sarnies I bought yesterday) though the boy has spent some of our loose cash on more milk and 2 bags of crisps!

    Off to get hair done shortly, not been to this place before. Has been set up by a bloke who used to do my hair so hoping its not toooooooo expensive! Then have to nip into town to get new phone. Been trying to make do with old one but it's coming up to 3 years old, I dropped it in a pool last summer and it's not rung since then. Also only vibrates for text, whats app, alarm etc and is v slow so thinking it's time. I nipped in last week to see what contract I could get and with new contract they reduced it by £9 and new phone will be £19 a month so only £10 more a month so think should get that.

    The boy and I were just discussing our house sales/purchase. Think I said before but we are now basically discounting selling his flat from the sale and aiming instead to (a) keep that rented out and (b) squirrel as much cash as possible away towards purchase. His tenants are in there until start of Feb 2016. They pay £1115 a month at the moment. With his mortgage, tax, service charges, insurance etc, he has about £115 profit pcm. They are willing to stay if we lower the rent. But we obv don't want to lower the rent too much as we do still want to sell, and then it will put prospective purchasers off. (as mainly BLT investors buy these flats) Estate agent has suggested £1,000 pcm which will mean no profit BUT important thing is its rented and washes its face. So think we will go for that.

    If I can knock freeholder down re my leasehold that should really help. And jeweller has offered me £5500 for my old engagement ring. He had valued it at £11,200 but that was, I think, for full replacement cost if stolen. I think idiot ex paid around £6500 for it in 2007. It was on market for 2 years at 10k but no proper bites. Took it to auction house and they didn't put it much higher than what jeweller is offering (though they did get the metal wrong and said it was white gold when its platinum). Thinking will say if he can go to £6,000 I'll take it (and if he moves to £5750 I'll take it anyway) as that should help.

    Just feel so stressed all the time. If we hold onto boy's flat we can sell it at a later date (it has about £100k equity in it if it goes for current price) and pump that into new house later/boost savings but I constantly worry about money. I just want us to have a really nice house in a nice area (we currently don't live in the best area) which, where we live, is astronomical!!!!!
    Last edited by lulabelle; 21-10-2016 at 12:56 PM.
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 21st Oct 16, 5:09 PM
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    lulabelle
    So, hairdresser cost me £50!!! For a cut and blow dry. WTF. I am sure that is more expensive than it should be. And because I have alopecia it is not a pleasant experience as I spend the whole time stressing about them pulling on it. After I got over the shock of that, went into town to get my new phone. The bozo in the shop told me he would transfer everything across. I told him it hadn't been backed up since august and I didn't want to lose anything and he said I wouldn't. Lo and behold, only my photos up to 11 August are on there. He was going to sort it for me on their computer but there's loads of private stuff in there and I don't trust this particular person to delete it. So tried to come home and do it myself but can't. Will have to wait until the boy is back. Am pretty stressed now. Really annoys me this cavalier attitude of these youngsters working in these places. They never tell you the right information. Had it with mortgage provider too not that long ago. These employers really need to train their staff properly.

    Then spent a fiver on some tights and 50p on a can of diet coke. Good news is phone only £17 pcm rather than £19 so is only £8 more on what I was previously paying. AND he'd not added a cap to my roaming account like I asked him last week. What is wrong with these people?!!!!

    Am in thoroughly bad mood now and very stressed and need to get out of my stress as the boy doesn't like it when I'm like this. There were lots of lovely pjs and sexy underwear in m&s but avoided after the £50 hair do! Quite proud of self for the only non-essential thing I bought being a diet coke as when I'm hacked off and stressed I tend to splurge. So glad I came home. Oh, got some face wipes from b**ts which were on offer at £1 and used my points for that. So I can wipe face before putting make up on for tonight as don't want hair to drop in shower.

    Sorry for rant/brain dump - just can't stand incompetent people!!!
    I want to be a writer
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 22nd Oct 16, 10:08 PM
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    Seasidegal58
    You've had a rotten day yesterday lullabelle but I hope you feel more cheerful. At least you didn't splurge!
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Scrimpy Goal - Emergency Fund - £10,000
    Currently: £6027.22 (25/11/2016)

    My debt free diary - " Paid off the £31,000 - BUT still scrimping!"

    NST: December 2016- NSDs: 1/15
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 23rd Oct 16, 10:26 AM
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    lulabelle
    Apologies for my rotten mood and rant on friday! Went out with the boy, he paid for drinks and cab home. Meal was lovely but set me back £130! However, he did deserve it after the hours he put in decorating and also the revision for his exam. Yesterday we didn't do anything during the day. Boy's sis and her hubbie popped round for a cup of coffee in the garden. Boy nipped to co-op and got some soup and we already had a ciabatta in freezer so only £1.25 each. Last night we went for dinner with friends then drinks after. Spent £46 each so not too bad as we had 3 courses plus lots of drinks with dinner and 3 after dinner.

    Today we are doing "big shop" but we don't need that much. Going to get the 3 dinners for £10 plus veg and stuff for lunches, cereal etc. I normally budget £75 (each) for weekly shop as we do tend to spend a lot on food but this week it should only be around £30 each. I do think we could do with cutting down on the food shop.

    Hopefully we will not then spend anything for rest of week though we are off on holibobs on thurs night until following monday. For me, that will come out of the money in my holiday account which I stick money in each month. But I only got paid on Thursday and have already spent almost £250 - that is scary and shocking. I will, from now, rein it in!!!!
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 26th Oct 16, 4:04 PM
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    lulabelle
    So, we did "big shop" on sun which came to a shocking £42 each - not quite sure how. However, after that, I came down with a really bad sore throat, I was so cold even with pyjamas, socks, a robe, a hat and 2 duvets on me. Then I'd warm up but be sweating profusely and unable to get cool. Was like swallowing glass and ear ache/joint pain. Spent all sunday pm from about 230 in bed unable to get up. Mon morn was terrible. Couldn't get out of bed, couldn't really drink or eat anything and couldn't wee. Went to docs and almost collapsed. Acute tonsillitis, temp sky high. Prescribed 10 day course peniciiln and throat spray. Had started to feel a little better in self (i.e. not sweating as much though still doing so, no joint pain) but still felt like swallowing glass, ear pain and not sleeping. Went back to docs yesterday, took a swab for strep throat and said to carry on with treatment.

    Thing is: I now don't know whether to cancel the holiday. We are due to fly tomorrow night and the doc said I really had to be better to go. I am better than I was but not better and worried if I go I'll not be able to enjoy it, the boy won't enjoy it, I might need treatment for which I won't be covered as flown whilst ill/on a sick note. But am scared won't get money back. Have travel insurance but everyone knows insurers try to avoid that where they can. Boy thinks we should cancel as I need to rest. I know he's right as we would want to be out and about seeing things and eating nice food and at the moment, I don't think I can do it.

    If I cancel I suppose it's only money if we don't get it back and my health is more important but I really don't want to miss the holiday.

    heeeellllppppp!!!!!!
    I want to be a writer
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 27th Oct 16, 10:30 AM
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    lulabelle
    So, went back to docs this am and she said I'm not well enough to fly. So we've cancelled everything. That, in itself, is a right b*ll ache but it's done now. Hopefully we will get back everything bar £100 which is the excess.

    So, rest, rest, rest for me now. Am literally going to lie on sofa all day/have a bath/read/watch tv and do nothing but chill. I can still barely eat or drink (suppose silver lining is I might lose some weight!) but hoping will be a bit brighter by weekend. If so, the boy and I are going to try to make up for not going away by cooking lovely food here and getting a nice film to watch.

    Though disappointed, I am somewhat relieved now as think if we'd gone I would have really struggled and we want holidays to be fun right?

    So, a weekend of rest and recuperation for me.

    I have also made a decision to try very hard not to drink until we go to nyc mid-december. I love the taste of wine and beer but the problem is it affects me so quickly and I don't sleep well even if I have 1 glass. I drink much much less than I used to and usually now only on a friday or saturday, rarely both, but I just feel like I'm always playing catch up with my sleep if I have a drink.

    Reckon if I do that and try to eat better I will feel much better in myself generally. Plus will save cash and lose weight!

    Can't wait to get better. Want to run again!
    I want to be a writer
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 27th Oct 16, 11:13 PM
    • 494 Posts
    • 2,460 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    It's a shame but I think you've done the right thing lullabelle. I would think you should get reimbursed if you produce a doctors note.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Scrimpy Goal - Emergency Fund - £10,000
    Currently: £6027.22 (25/11/2016)

    My debt free diary - " Paid off the £31,000 - BUT still scrimping!"

    NST: December 2016- NSDs: 1/15
    • lulabelle
    • By lulabelle 28th Oct 16, 8:41 AM
    • 804 Posts
    • 2,054 Thanks
    lulabelle
    Thanks my lovely. Of course, I am feeling almost 100% today (isn't it always the way?!) however, I think it was right decision since, if we were going to sit on a beach or in a spa for a week, I think that the doctor might have been supportive of that as it is relaxing and can only be good (bar the flying), button course, on a short city break you are trying to cram in as much as possible so early mornings/late nights/rushing around and reckon though I am feeling almost normal, would be so easy for my body to tip the other way if I put it under any pressure. Got all the paperwork we need for a claim so will put that in and see what happens - fingers crossed. We will lose just under 1k if we don't get it back but sometimes these decisions have to be made.

    I am a bit annoyed with the boy however, but maybe I'm being unreasonable - any thoughts on the below? So, I've been signed off since Monday. On Monday the boy was really good and drove me to docs, sat with me and then got me lunch after. It took a good hour and a half as doc running late and he was meant to be at work. He's been home late every night this week (past 7 when he finishes at 5) though he did say this is a busy time for next few weeks. We had planned to try to make up not being away this weekend but we prob can't go out anywhere until sunday as I was signed off (even though today is a non-working day for me anyway) but we had planned to cook nice food and get film. Bear in mind I've been on my own all week as poorly.

    Last night he says he's going for a couple of beers with work people tonight but will be home about 7/730 as the others have dinner plans anyway (couple of weeks ago we had a massive row as he went out after work and was a complete nightmare - unlike him) and was going to get take out on way home for us. I said that was fine as long as it didn't turn into a massive session which meant he was home later than that as I have no food in the house and can't go out. Then a bit later he said one of his mates had asked him to go for a few drinks sat afternoon but he'd come back and cook dinner. Again, I said I didn't mind but hoped he wasn't going to come back hammered and then not want to cook dinner/go to sleep as I've been on my own.

    He wasn't particularly happy with my responses.

    Then this morning he said he's not going to go tonight and will do the shopping instead (as otherwise he was doing it tomorrow morning).

    Past experience makes me question whether he is meeting some girl. I know that is wrong because he really is (as far as one can ever be sure) not that kind of guy. I think even if he could do that, he would be so caught up with guilt he would just have to come clean. So I have to discount that from my mind even though it's hard because as some of you know, I have been cheated on in the worst way before. I think he is probably just being a bit insensitive and then realised that this morning so decided to change his plans. I guess it's he's just been out with work a lot recently which is unusual. That said, I also wonder if he's sort of trying to enjoy his "freedom" now because we have decided to try for a baby at some point next year.

    I totally over analyse everything and need to stop as I do drive myself mad. I do ultimately trust him. He's not perfect (who is??) but he's a good egg, but it's hard.
    I want to be a writer
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