Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 25th Jan 16, 3:39 PM
    • 638Posts
    • 1,279Thanks
    reality_check
    Reality Check...
    • #1
    • 25th Jan 16, 3:39 PM
    Reality Check... 25th Jan 16 at 3:39 PM
    I need to start writing this diary while I have the motivation to do so! I have been a lurker for a while and reading all the diaries inspire me and I always think "I wish I could sort out my debt" well....today is the day!

    I have buried my head in the sand for too long and it really is time to get a reality check!

    I have done a quick total of my current debt and it is as follows:

    Credit cards: £9817.86 of a possible £13300
    Overdraft: £1857.77 of a possible £2500
    Student loan: £11600.85
    Loan from family memeber: £7000
    Mortgage: £68213.30

    Total: £98489.78!!

    Credit cards and overdrafts are my main priororty, student loan is automatically deducted from my wages and family loan doens't need paid back ASAP, but would rather get that paid sooner rather than later.

    I live with my daughter and 2 dogs, I will list my incomings and outgoings later today....I have tried to cut back to the bare essentials, but a lot of my recent debt has come from renovating my house and generally living beyond my means and going a bit OTT at christmas!

    I am hoping this diary will help hold me accountable for my spendings and get me on the right path to living debt free!!

    Fingers crossed!! xxx
Page 36
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 4th Jul 17, 1:00 PM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    Had a bit of drama last night! My daughters bf's flat was broken into, he has just moved in a few weeks ago after moving out from living with his grandparents and now this has happened. They have taken my daughters laptop and ipad, his laptop, playstation and xbox. He didn't have contents insurrance as never knew anything about it and assumed his landlord would have things for this happening?! I kept going on about how they should have had insurrance, which I know wasn't helpful, but I suppose if you don't know something why would he have taken it out?!

    I feel really bad for them. They had the police out but they have said it is very unlikely they will see anything again. Both laptops are Apple and cost approx £1,300 each to replace. None of them have any savings to replace them.

    My daughter does need her laptop for uni in September, and she does use it every day just for personal use, same with her bf. I think I am going to have to fork out on a new one for her, but then I feel bad for her bf, so think it is going to cost me £2,600!! Money I really don't have, but how can I buy one and not the other?! He doesn't have anyone he can ask, her nan and grandad just don't have that kind of money to lend him....

    What would you all do?!

    I did consider maybe telling them I can buy them and they can pay me back...but they really don't have any extra money to do that. I know it is a luxuary and not an essential, but they are just 20 year olds who use the above stolen things every day. I called my home insurrance to see if I had cover outwith the home - I don't. xxx
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
    • hannahroberts1985
    • By hannahroberts1985 4th Jul 17, 1:06 PM
    • 737 Posts
    • 1,060 Thanks
    hannahroberts1985
    Oh what a nightmare for them. Such horrible people in the world.

    Is your daughters uni course something that requires a high spec laptop? Is this the same for him? If not maybe just a basic model to share?

    X
    Deposit :£10,469/£20,000 = 50% Fee fund £1903 emergency fund:£752/£1000 Car fund:£5 Xs fund £67 B/day £45
    Noodle: 614 Clear: 499 mse:967/61%
    Family loan £7000/£6875
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 4th Jul 17, 1:13 PM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    I know, it's a shame.

    Not really, she is doing teaching, but he is doing Graphics and really needs this one - well so he claims, I know nothing about it!

    I hate apple phones, but since I got an apple laptop I have remained loyal for the past 12 years, they really do make a difference, never have any problems etc.

    Sharing isn't really an option as she lives at home and not always there...maybe there 3 nights a week? xx
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
    • hannahroberts1985
    • By hannahroberts1985 4th Jul 17, 1:17 PM
    • 737 Posts
    • 1,060 Thanks
    hannahroberts1985
    Oh just read back a few posts too have you tried checking eBay for dresses? How often do we try and sell expensive clothing and it goes for pennies.....maybe once this could work in our favour? Even ordering a couple to try on when the time comes. You could always sell them back on eBay so the dress would cost you nothing. X
    Deposit :£10,469/£20,000 = 50% Fee fund £1903 emergency fund:£752/£1000 Car fund:£5 Xs fund £67 B/day £45
    Noodle: 614 Clear: 499 mse:967/61%
    Family loan £7000/£6875
    • hannahroberts1985
    • By hannahroberts1985 4th Jul 17, 1:24 PM
    • 737 Posts
    • 1,060 Thanks
    hannahroberts1985
    We have an old mac from dp's graphic design uni days. They are great but that's because they are very exspensive. My old car didn't even cost £2600! Could his student loan go towards an exspensive new one if it is needed? I'm sure uni provide rental laptops or facilities at libraries etc. Unless it's a requirement in the course details like text books etc. I'd say it's a luxury item.

    I'd say go with a cheaper version for your daughter if you really want to get her one. Do you need a £1300 laptop to facebook and internet bank and write essays? I know I'm sounding all mean and bah humbug but you've been working so hard to pay off debt and this would put you a massive step back. It's a lot to exspect from someone who has extra cash laying around nevermidn someone working hard to pay of debt and about to have anew baby. Also they are getting to adulthood now mean I know but it could be a valuable lesson in saving and earning money for what you want? Could you offer each a basic model or the money equivalent to go toward a fancy one if they are willing to save up for it? X
    Deposit :£10,469/£20,000 = 50% Fee fund £1903 emergency fund:£752/£1000 Car fund:£5 Xs fund £67 B/day £45
    Noodle: 614 Clear: 499 mse:967/61%
    Family loan £7000/£6875
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 4th Jul 17, 1:49 PM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    Good thinking about the dress, the few clothing items I have sold I have always been annoyed at how much I spent, more often only wore a handful of times, and then sold it for next to nothing! Thanks

    I know I know about the laptops really going to set me back! I haven't actually offered anything to them! My daughter did say "I am going to need a new one" and I just replied with "Don't look at me, I don't have a penny!" My daughter defintely doesn't need a laptop, I have an apple one at home and we also have a Macbook that is my OH's - she just wants one, to lie in bed and watch youtube!

    I only use mine for watching Netflix in bed as don't have a tv in my room...I am not really up for giving mine up, but I probably could and make do with a cheaper version.

    It's her bf I feel the worst for, probably should be more concenerned about my own daughter lol! but he has had a hard life, and was starting to find his feet, he is funding himself through uni, has 3 jobs and really can't afford to have moved out, but after a few years sleeping on his grandparents couch he made the decsion to share a flat with 3 of his friends so all his money is just to survive, but I could just tell the past few weeks he was much happier having this independance and then this had to happen!

    I do believe what goes around comes around, so hopefully whoever done it, there time will be up soon and get what's coming to them. I am glad they weren't at home, it is only stuff at the end of the day, but they don't see that right now xx
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 4th Jul 17, 5:35 PM
    • 4,263 Posts
    • 7,694 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    It is a tough lesson to learn and if you were not in debt and about to go on maternity leave I would help in your position (not by forking out £2k +). They are adults, you told them to get insurance and yes it is awful but they need to learn actions have consequences. I would certainly not buy them one each at that price especially for just recreation use.
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 4th Jul 17, 5:39 PM
    • 4,263 Posts
    • 7,694 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Just throwing something out there. How will you feel if you splash out hundreds of pounds on your daughters bf laptop and they break up in a few weeks time? It sounds like he has had it tough but he is not your responsibility and he does have grandparents so perhaps they could help?. Help by all means if you can afford it but to replace it outright would be a lot.
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 4th Jul 17, 6:28 PM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    No I never told him to get insurrance, it's just something I assumed he knew about getting! His grandparents 100% can't help. I am leaving it as it is, going to see what plan they come up with themselves. You are right, I am in no financial position to be helping anyone when I can't help myself! xx
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 4th Jul 17, 6:58 PM
    • 4,263 Posts
    • 7,694 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    That sounds like a plan. Hold fire and see what plan they come up with and maybe help then if you are in a position to. I would be looking to carry on clearing your debt and save for maternity leave though so adding to the debt is not ideal. Just a question of priorities.
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 6th Jul 17, 8:21 AM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    The laptop situation is they have been looking at finance options for my daughters bf...17.9% APR if he gets accepted...but Currys have an Apple sale on right now and you can get a Macbook Air for £850 and the Pro for £1050 so saving either £100 or £200 which is better than the student discount Apple can offer. The £850 is defintely enough for Sophie, and waiting to hear back from her bf, I txted them this morning but they will still be sleeping! My daughter has told her Dad and he has told her he will "help them out" but don't know what that means!

    Anyway, back to me! Not that I have anything to share, I still have no money and it is 9 days until payday!! Spend £38 in Sainsburys last night and got a few bargains with a full chicken that we can have tonight, some beef mince and lamb mince so with what is in the freezer we have plenty food until pay day. I have £17 left in my petrol budget, which I will need and will probably JUST survive until pay day with it.

    My MOT is due 12th August, but since my due date is the 11th August it is probably best to get booked in before then! Tomorrow is 5 weeks to go!! I am going to miss being pregnant, I have bizzarely loved it! But I am so so excited to meet this little baby, so I'm also happy to trade being pregnant for that.

    Happy Thursday! xxx
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 6th Jul 17, 8:30 AM
    • 4,263 Posts
    • 7,694 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    17.9%. I would suggest they wait or maybe get second hand one to start with. Maybe do as we used to and say if they save up 50% you or your ex will help out with the other 50% if you are in position to. Having to wait to buy stuff is a good discipline to learn.

    Having said that maybe you need to let them make their own mistakes seeing as you have your own debts to cope with. You are not paying your dad back yet are you?
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 6th Jul 17, 8:51 AM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    Apparently they "can't wait" - the do use it every day so it is a loss to them, even though may seem trivial and they need to get on with it, I still feel bad for them lol

    They did ask me how much I would sell mine for, maybe I should do this and pay off some debt!! But I'm also not really willing to be without! I made the suggestion to my daughter about going for a cheaper version and she just looked at me but then this is my fault, I moulded her to think expensive is better and if you want something you can have it, so can't blame her for thinking like this.

    No, not started to pay him back yet, credit card will hopefully be gone by September and can start paying him come October...that's the plan anyway!!

    Virgin sent me an email yesterday letting me know they are increasing my limit to £6,500 from £4,500 not sure if I should keep this open and have unused and available credit against my name or is it better not to have it?! I won't be tempted to spend on it as I don't have the card for it and certainly won't be ordering a replacement x x
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 7th Jul 17, 1:19 PM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    Sooooo....after last night I am £675 lighter!

    Spoke with my ex husband and we agreed the right thing to do would be replace both of them, as oppose to just one. I know he's technically not my problem or even replacing my daughters laptop isn't my problem, but I must just be a soft touch! I wouldn't feel right getting one and not the other. If they were to split up next week then so be it, it's a gift and I wouldn't be expecting the laptop back.

    Laptops were £850 and £1100 so £1,950, both of them are going to pay £300 each so taking it down to £1,350 and I split the cost with my ex so £675 each. I actually haven't paid yet as he took them last night to John Lewis and bought them - Currys were out of stock and JL price matched the other, plus they come with a 2 year warranty. I told him I will give him the money on pay day and he said not to worry and no rush but I will just pay next Friday then that's it done.

    Sorry for asking advice then bascially ignoring it, I feel a bit rude but it's just what I thought was best in the end xxx
    Last edited by reality_check; 07-07-2017 at 1:23 PM.
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Jul 17, 1:34 PM
    • 4,263 Posts
    • 7,694 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Unless your daughter and boyfriend are going to be high earners they are going to find life difficult if they are not prepared to compromise to live within their means. You are right you have done them no favours in not encouraging them to go cheaper as clearly cannot afford the laptops.

    We bought both our daughters new laptops last year for around £500 each as combined Xmas/birthday presents. Nothing special but they do what they want them for.

    However it is yours and ex's decision and your money so no one else's business. I think I would be worried about your daughters attitude though but you have always spent a lot on presents for her I seem to recall. Does she know you are in debt?
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Jul 17, 1:38 PM
    • 4,263 Posts
    • 7,694 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Re the virgin card I would only keep it if it was the oldest card you have. Unless you are not going to be tempted to spend on it I would ask them to put the limit down though.
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Jul 17, 1:41 PM
    • 4,263 Posts
    • 7,694 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Also a word of warning that they should definitely get insurance now as someone told me if you have been burgled once it is likely to happen again quite soon. Burglars assume once they have broken in that goods are likely to be replaced and they come back for more. Awful and very unfair on them to have been burgled at all.
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 7th Jul 17, 1:52 PM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    I know you're right, but I am glad they have these laptops as oppose to a cheaper version that will do a few years then need replaced, these laptops have a good 10 years + life in them. He will also be sorting out contents insurrance today! They need laptops to finish uni, get good jobs and fund my retirement! At the end of the day £675 in a drop in the ocean of what I owe. Yes my daughter knows I am in debt, but doesn't know how much, and don't think she fully sees it as an issue as we don't seem to go without and have nice things, so she's not totally being a brat and stamping her feet for a new laptop with the view of me beng loaded with debt, struggling to make ends meet and just not caring x x
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 7th Jul 17, 1:55 PM
    • 4,263 Posts
    • 7,694 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    We all make sacrifices for our kids so I don't think you are being daft. Not sure they will fund your retirement though LOL
    Countdown to early retirement on 21.12.17 3 months to go.
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 7th Jul 17, 2:00 PM
    • 638 Posts
    • 1,279 Thanks
    reality_check
    Yeah I am not quite sure they will be funding that either...I can hope!

    I only took out the Virgin credit card last year or very end of 2015 so think I will just close it down. I have my Barclaycard with a £9,500 limit so will just hold onto that one x
    25/01/2016 £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,450
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

401Posts Today

3,946Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • RT @thismorning: 'Sometimes the best gift is releasing somebody else from the obligation of having to give to you' says @MartinSLewis. Do y?

  • Shana tova umetuka - a sweet Jewish New Year to all celebrating. I won't be online the rest of t'week, as I take the time to be with family

  • Dear Steve. Please note doing a poll to ask people's opinion does not in itself imply an opinion! https://t.co/UGvWlMURxy

  • Follow Martin