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    • bluelass
    • By bluelass 5th Jan 16, 3:36 PM
    • 512Posts
    • 340Thanks
    bluelass
    Uncles Interfering Friend What To Do About It?
    • #1
    • 5th Jan 16, 3:36 PM
    Uncles Interfering Friend What To Do About It? 5th Jan 16 at 3:36 PM
    I hope everyone on here had a nice Christmas and have a good 2016. Ok over the xmas period my family have had some consternation with a man who tells us he is a close friend of my elderly uncle. My uncle is 81 and for the last 4 years has been getting bad on his feet and cant walk very far. Recently he has been refusing to take his medications which include chlesterol and blood pressure tablets ad is getting aggressive and forgetful. He is a big man over 6ft and heavy and my aunt who is 78 could not provide care for him if he could not move or walk around the house. My aunt and my cousins have been advised he needs to move into 24 hour care and have looked at some local care homes to find the right one. However my uncle goes out for a drink twice a week and has made friends with a man about 10 or so years younger than himself and my uncle has told him that they want to put him in a home. On xmas eve I was visiting my aunt and my cousins were there too. This friend of my uncles knocked on the door and told us all we are bad for making him go into a home and had a go at us all. One of my cousins told him to leave and my aunt told us that it isn't the first time he has been to the house. This man has told my aunt if she puts my uncle into care he will protest at the home staff and will even call social services because he doesn't think my uncle is ill enough and we just want him out of the way. On new years day he went round again and said if and when my uncle goes in a home he will take him out and not return him there. The man has phoned age concern and my aunt has had a social worker call round regarding allegations made. My oldest cousin (44) has called age concern back to tell them the situation regarding this man. And we have now found out my uncle has told him he doesn't want to go in care. What can be done here?. My aunt has been told next time the man calls round to tell him to go and if he refuses to call the police. My uncle needs to go in care but is trying to get this person to have it stopped.
    Britain is great but Manchester is greater
Page 6
    • duchy
    • By duchy 10th Jan 16, 4:47 PM
    • 17,976 Posts
    • 45,612 Thanks
    duchy
    I wonder if we will ever be subjected to a tale of her husband?
    'My older husband has ran away with a woman who doesn't meddle'. Or 'I've just discovered my husband is having an affair with his daughter in law'
    Originally posted by Poppie68
    What ?
    Leave a Pippa Middleton lookalike for someone else ?
    Surely even a fantasy husband wouldn't do that !!!

    (I serious doubt he exists any more than any of the other cast of characters we are hearing about do)
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    Apparently having a "Quirky and Hipster" wedding
    • pebbles88
    • By pebbles88 11th Jan 16, 1:46 AM
    • 1,407 Posts
    • 4,179 Thanks
    pebbles88
    What ?
    Leave a Pippa Middleton lookalike for someone else ?
    Surely even a fantasy husband wouldn't do that !!!

    (I serious doubt he exists any more than any of the other cast of characters we are hearing about do)
    Originally posted by duchy
    I know, but I bet Pippa is high maintenance....

    It's worrying to to think that someone would 'think' these things up though! I hope to goodness that these events aren't real. As I can't believe that someone could be so 'sweeping & offensive' over very serious situations..... Mental health, people needing care as they get elderly, as they really aren't things to discuss/judge such as bluelass has.
    Please be nice to all moneysavers!
    Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."
    Big big thanks to Niddy, sorely missed from these boards..best cybersupport ever!!
    • bluelass
    • By bluelass 16th Jan 16, 11:25 PM
    • 512 Posts
    • 340 Thanks
    bluelass
    Just to let everyone know (including the naysayers). My aunt and cousins have uncovered a fair bit of deceit on my uncles behalf over the course of last week. He had applied for and received high rate disability pay to which he hasn't been entitled eg he told the DWP he needed to be spoon fed, washed etc. One of my cousins found a letter hidden by uncle asking him to go for a interview about his circumstances dated last October. When my cousin spoke to someone about this over the phone he was told that my uncle had been caught telling DWP untruths and they require him to go in to see them. Not only this but the lady whom had been helping him to the toilet in the pub had been bathing him once a week whilst aunt was at a social club. He had told the lady no one in the family cared about him and my cousins discovered she is the partner of the landlord of the pub uncle went to. Im told she is very upset about being made a fool of and the landlord has asked my uncle not to return. He had made out he was a hard done by old man when nothing could have been further from the truth. My aunt has decided to split from him and as they own their ex council house will have to seek some legal advice. And she has applied for a lovely apartment in a newly built block for the over 60s nearby.
    Britain is great but Manchester is greater
    • suki1964
    • By suki1964 16th Jan 16, 11:47 PM
    • 10,040 Posts
    • 24,704 Thanks
    suki1964
    You just couldn't make it up




    Or could you?
    • Mupette
    • By Mupette 16th Jan 16, 11:53 PM
    • 4,193 Posts
    • 6,908 Thanks
    Mupette
    Just to let everyone know (including the naysayers). My aunt and cousins have uncovered a fair bit of deceit on my uncles behalf over the course of last week. He had applied for and received high rate disability pay to which he hasn't been entitled eg he told the DWP he needed to be spoon fed, washed etc. One of my cousins found a letter hidden by uncle asking him to go for a interview about his circumstances dated last October. When my cousin spoke to someone about this over the phone he was told that my uncle had been caught telling DWP untruths and they require him to go in to see them. Not only this but the lady whom had been helping him to the toilet in the pub had been bathing him once a week whilst aunt was at a social club. He had told the lady no one in the family cared about him and my cousins discovered she is the partner of the landlord of the pub uncle went to. Im told she is very upset about being made a fool of and the landlord has asked my uncle not to return. He had made out he was a hard done by old man when nothing could have been further from the truth. My aunt has decided to split from him and as they own their ex council house will have to seek some legal advice. And she has applied for a lovely apartment in a newly built block for the over 60s nearby.
    Originally posted by bluelass

    Erm no they wouldn't of done.

    GNU
    Terry Pratchett
    ((((Ripples))))

    • Corelli
    • By Corelli 16th Jan 16, 11:55 PM
    • 646 Posts
    • 1,263 Thanks
    Corelli
    It would have been very wrong of anyone at the DWP to have told someone's son about the details of their claim.


    VEGAN for the environment, for the animals, for health and for people


    "Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight." ~Albert Schweitzer
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 17th Jan 16, 12:00 AM
    • 5,663 Posts
    • 12,966 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Of course they have
    I completely believe everything you say
    • duchy
    • By duchy 17th Jan 16, 3:32 AM
    • 17,976 Posts
    • 45,612 Thanks
    duchy
    Just to let everyone know (including the naysayers). My aunt and cousins have uncovered a fair bit of deceit on my uncles behalf over the course of last week. He had applied for and received high rate disability pay to which he hasn't been entitled eg he told the DWP he needed to be spoon fed, washed etc. One of my cousins found a letter hidden by uncle asking him to go for a interview about his circumstances dated last October. When my cousin spoke to someone about this over the phone he was told that my uncle had been caught telling DWP untruths and they require him to go in to see them. Not only this but the lady whom had been helping him to the toilet in the pub had been bathing him once a week whilst aunt was at a social club. He had told the lady no one in the family cared about him and my cousins discovered she is the partner of the landlord of the pub uncle went to. Im told she is very upset about being made a fool of and the landlord has asked my uncle not to return. He had made out he was a hard done by old man when nothing could have been further from the truth. My aunt has decided to split from him and as they own their ex council house will have to seek some legal advice. And she has applied for a lovely apartment in a newly built block for the over 60s nearby.
    Originally posted by bluelass

    Absolute fantasy
    DWP aren't allowed to discuss matters like that without the express permission on the claimee
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    Apparently having a "Quirky and Hipster" wedding
    • duchy
    • By duchy 17th Jan 16, 3:33 AM
    • 17,976 Posts
    • 45,612 Thanks
    duchy
    You just couldn't make it up




    Or could you?
    Originally posted by suki1964
    I blame the gin
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    Apparently having a "Quirky and Hipster" wedding
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 17th Jan 16, 5:29 AM
    • 29,211 Posts
    • 54,451 Thanks
    seven-day-weekend
    Regardless of anything else in this thread, I still don't believe the bit about the landlady of the pub toileting and bathing him.
    To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten it
    'I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because I see everything by it': C.S. Lewis
    St. Augustine — 'In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.'
    • LilElvis
    • By LilElvis 17th Jan 16, 7:18 AM
    • 3,056 Posts
    • 8,445 Thanks
    LilElvis
    The OPs threads always go the same way. She starts by making sweeping, judgmental claims about another person's behaviour and is then challenged by posters, the majority of who disagree with or question her interpretations and assumptions. She then returns and posts about the "latest incident" which always seem to lend weight to her initial assertions. How very convenient.
    Originally posted by LilElvis
    Repeat what I posted previously, though this is the most improbable "See, I told you I was right" to date.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 17th Jan 16, 8:13 AM
    • 17,390 Posts
    • 44,280 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Repeat what I posted previously, though this is the most improbable "See, I told you I was right" to date.
    Originally posted by LilElvis
    LilElvis, I thought of your post as soon as I read the OP's 'update'.
    • Bath cube
    • By Bath cube 12th Mar 17, 9:10 PM
    • 92 Posts
    • 60 Thanks
    Bath cube
    Gosh bluelass. Your uncle sounds a right one. Narcistic and an inflated sense of self importance. Has he now gone in a home and has your aunt returned home. The post war generation babies are the worst for his but they call us 80s kids hey
    • KiKi
    • By KiKi 12th Mar 17, 9:39 PM
    • 4,910 Posts
    • 7,971 Thanks
    KiKi
    Why have you resurrected a thread that's 14 months old?
    ' <-- See that? It's called an apostrophe. It does not mean "hey, look out, here comes an S".
    • Bath cube
    • By Bath cube 12th Mar 17, 10:52 PM
    • 92 Posts
    • 60 Thanks
    Bath cube
    Because as a new member I have browsed the forum and seeing this I made my reply. Why are some members saying nasty things about bluelass posts.
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 12th Mar 17, 11:09 PM
    • 2,581 Posts
    • 5,685 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    You browsed a forum and picked on a 14 month old posting.

    You're having a laugh.

    It's probably bluelass with a new username
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - the Argos Card!
    • Bath cube
    • By Bath cube 12th Mar 17, 11:41 PM
    • 92 Posts
    • 60 Thanks
    Bath cube
    No I'm not bluelass and I don't know her. I don't know what your problem is but if you try to bully me like you did with her you won't do it again.
    • pebbles88
    • By pebbles88 13th Mar 17, 2:10 AM
    • 1,407 Posts
    • 4,179 Thanks
    pebbles88
    No I'm not bluelass and I don't know her. I don't know what your problem is but if you try to bully me like you did with her you won't do it again.
    Originally posted by Bath cube
    Brand new to the forums & only just into double figures for posts & you're threatening other members??

    Why???
    Please be nice to all moneysavers!
    Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."
    Big big thanks to Niddy, sorely missed from these boards..best cybersupport ever!!
    • Pop Up Pirate
    • By Pop Up Pirate 13th Mar 17, 7:37 AM
    • 683 Posts
    • 1,818 Thanks
    Pop Up Pirate
    I am calling round at my aunts this evening to see if she is ok. I got a call from one of my cousins last night and he was fuming and rightly so. My uncle got a taxi out to the pub last night as usual and my cousin phoned my aunt to confirm he had gone there and cousin decided to go into this pub to see how uncle gets on in there. Well my uncles face was a picture so im told. He has told people in there he cannot toilet himself and a really nice lady who is o the darts team takes him twice and obviously this involves taking his trousers down, and wiping him etc. He can more than manage to toilet himself and my cousinthanked this kind lady but informed her of my uncles old soldier routine and uncle was very embarrassed indeed. Not only this but my uncle has put on a considerable amount of weight and he has been telling the landlord he isn't getting fed properly at home and he is being given leftovers from dinners the landlord cooks. In essence he has been taking advantage of a lady helping him god knows why he wanted to pretend he couldn't toilet himself but my cousin who is fuming says it was for my uncles gratification as the women was a lot younger. My cousin returned with my uncle back at my aunts and told her his findings and she is livid and very upset. He has been told to alter his ways or she will be going to stay with one of my cousins or get a nice flat of her own. The lady who had been helping him to the toilet had been wiping and cleaning him up too therefore purely for attentive needs rather than practical.
    Originally posted by bluelass
    Sorry but I think this is a load of nonsense.
    • Pop Up Pirate
    • By Pop Up Pirate 13th Mar 17, 7:42 AM
    • 683 Posts
    • 1,818 Thanks
    Pop Up Pirate
    I went to see my aunt earlier on and stayed just over two hours. As soon as I arrived just before 7pm my uncle started crying and told me he had not been fed anything and tried to grab the box of chocolates I had bought for my aunt. A plate of more than acceptable food and a drink was on a table next to him and aunt said he refused to eat it. When me and my aunt were talking he was shouting and accusing her of neglecting him which is rubbish anyone can see he is well taken care of. My aunt told me he has been like this for over a year now and she has had enough. My uncle stood up ran to the front door opened it and started screaming for help non of the neighbours responded and my aunt phoned my eldest cousin and asked him to come over as he only lives a short distance away. He carried on screaming until my cousin arrived and I was amazed how quick uncle could move as he has been limping and dragging himself along everytime I have seen him. My cousin arrived and told him to stop it and he wouldn't stop so my aunt went upstairs to get some things together and my cousin agreed she should leave and stay with him and his wife for a short time. Whilst they were upstairs getting her things my uncle asked me to toilet him to which I replied no you can do it yourself and he deliberately wet himself. When my cousin and aunt came down he got told off and to go and get changed which he refused to do. He then told the three of us he had enjoyed the attention from the woman in the pub because my aunt gives him none. As you can imagine my cousin and aunt got very upset with him and my cousin called the out of hours SS adult care to give them an update and that my aunt is at breaking point and would be leaving. We also discovered my uncles so concerned friend has been taking advantage of him. When he picked him up in the taxi to go to a pub less than a mile away he told uncle it was £10 and he had been giving the man £20 every time they had gone out.
    Originally posted by bluelass
    Yep, yep, of course.
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