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  • FIRST POST
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 28th Dec 15, 7:51 PM
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    Mooloo
    Mooloo's little tapestry of life, 2016
    • #1
    • 28th Dec 15, 7:51 PM
    Mooloo's little tapestry of life, 2016 28th Dec 15 at 7:51 PM
    So as yet another year comes to an end and a new one begins its time to start a new page in the chapter of life with Mooloo and my world.
    This is about year 8 since I joined MSE and about the 8th year of my own thread.
    Why is it in Relationships and not diaries? Because basically it started with my relationship with my challenging off Spring who came home when pregnant, and what has happened since.
    Now of course life is very different as I bring up my eldest grandchild, and my lot have left home.
    I now have a business in its infancy, and a different future awaits.
    Financially it's still tough, and I rely on Tax Credits etc to survive.
    I hope 2016 will be a better year, and a more stable one for DGD.

    So here I am, planning to rejoin several frugal threads, and clear my debts that have sneaked up on me, making better store cupboard use and crafting my way through the fabrics I already have.
    Building the business at the same time.

    So here is to the future, every one.
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
Page 40
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 17th Sep 16, 9:32 AM
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    Mooloo
    Saturday seems to come around really fast this week.
    Today I have a full on day teaching.
    This morning we are making an A line skirt, or at least starting it.
    This afternoon the children are making emoji cushions.
    DGD has gone to play around the neighbour's. No fuss etc which is always a relief.
    I'm just sitting in the shop waiting for my ladies to arrive.
    I tried to print off some trouble shooting sheets but my printer hasn't been used for so long it tells me the ink has dried up! At somewhere around £50 last time I bought it I'm not thrilled, as replacing it is infuriating.
    So the laptop screen will have to suffice, and I will email the documents to the ladies later.
    Here comes the post man.
    Hopefully the Zips I ordered the other day.
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 18th Sep 16, 4:04 PM
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    Mooloo
    Well things went well yesterday. Pleased to say.
    I did a better food shop at Tesco before I came home, and I've now done a menu plan at last.
    Today I have cut the lawn, no mean feat the size it is. I've also cleared out the shed as you couldn't get in it before. But now it's all tidy and room to move. Hopefully we will be able to find things now. Although my spade has definitely gone missing, along with the bike cover.
    The paddling pool was left out and really does need maintenance and a good clean. But I don't have the energy anymore.
    3 loads of washing done and out on the line.
    Now I'm sitting in the garden, on my reclaimed little patio with the garden chairs and glass table all dusted off.
    Even a few getaniums in a pot or two in the corner.
    Although the weeding still needs to be done. But it can wait. It's cup of tea time while DGD is out playing.
    Typically now I can sit out the sun has been obliterated by grey skies, and a light wind.
    I better keep an eye out for rain.
    I'd also better see what is actually dry now, so I don't tempt fait.
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 19th Sep 16, 6:47 AM
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    Mooloo
    Productive day yesterday in a way, but wasted my evening in front of the tv.
    This morning I have been awake since 5.40 and gave up trying to go back to sleep at 6.15 although we don't have to be up until 7.30 really. Though I'm often up before 7 as I like a slow start to the day.
    Not sure if it was my dream I woke from, or the too-ing and fro-ing of vehicles next door. I woke just as I was drowning in soft sand!
    So I've been trying to tell myself positive thoughts and not let my subconscious worry about the whys.
    I've my cup of tea just made here beside me, and I'm pleased to say it must have been cooler last night as the little jug of milk didn't go off as it had been doing lately.
    I've checked my bank balances, paid the wages, and moved odd amounts into the various savings pots. Starting to build them up as best I can after all my spending.
    DGDs birthday is on the 4th Oct so I want to get her presents sorted out.
    She wants a drum kit! Erm in this house nope. But I might see about lessons. I know my DGS 1, who has been adopted and is her age, loves his drums and has lessons.
    That's one thing the letterbox told us.

    On the schedule side, I have quite a lot of work come in, the Thermal Bag needs a bit more filling in it, then I've one lady who needs her 6 items for tomorrow, and a set of curtains need shortening. Just to mention a few of the jobs. It's going to be another busy week. I'm happy to say that I have enough in the bank for the rent, the wages, and the bills for the month.
    So as we are still nearly two weeks from the end of the month I know I must be doing something right.
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 19th Sep 16, 5:54 PM
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    Mooloo
    Over tired now because I was awake so early. Both staff and I felt rather out of sorts today. I did manage to finish the Thermal Bag, and sew around £142 worth of alterations. Although I didn't get the curtains done.
    However I left at 4.30 as soon as we shut and collected DGD early.
    She is starting Brownies again now, and I am lucky that I had kept back one tshirt and pair of trousers, the hat and scarf. Although I didn't keep a jacket so I will need to look out for one. For the first time in a while I'm glad that I hadn't done all the ironing or they would have been gone along with all the other sets I had.
    This evening I am going to have to just relax as I'm so tired, and once I collect DGD I hope it will mean we can have an early night. I'm hoping I will feel less sluggish tomorrow.
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 20th Sep 16, 9:21 PM
    • 36,621 Posts
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    Savvy_Sue
    I tried to print off some trouble shooting sheets but my printer hasn't been used for so long it tells me the ink has dried up! At somewhere around £50 last time I bought it I'm not thrilled, as replacing it is infuriating.
    Originally posted by Mooloo
    Sometimes you can bring inkjet cartridges back to life by pressing the nozzles onto a paper towel, but if you're not often using it then it may be worth taking them out of the printer when you're done, putting the 'clip' on them, and keeping them in the fridge.

    Frankly if you're spending that on ink, you need to change your printer ... What make / model is it?
    I'm a Board Guide on the Cutting Tax; Charities; Small Biz & Charity Organisers; and Silver Savers boards, which means I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge threads there. However, do remember, Board Guides don't read every post. If you spot an inappropriate or illegal post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. It is not part of my role to deal with reportable posts.

    Any views are mine and are not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com
    Still knitting! 1st cardigan done, abandoned another, knitting baby bootees instead ...
    • dktreesea
    • By dktreesea 21st Sep 16, 10:52 AM
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    dktreesea
    Is it a laser jet printer? We have a laser jet printer for which the ink costs around £50 a time. I can get a bit more out of it by taking it out and banging in a few times. Also, I have changed the auto print option from 600 down to 300 which makes it last longer.
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 22nd Sep 16, 7:27 AM
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    Mooloo
    It's a very old printer, HP950 it's a big chunky thing that was a fax machine too.
    I will have a play with it when I get to the shop.

    Yesterday I caved in, and the Bank of Mum was seriously opened, as DS and his beep beep GF finally admitted they were in dept, the bailiffs had been, and they were at the point of no return.
    He wanted me to be a guarantor on a loan.
    Amigo loans. I said no. Instead I went over and went through there income, expenditure etc.
    I paid off the Baliff with my Credit Card! That is a huge ouch. As all my debt was being carefully managed, and on 0% deals.
    But I realised that they don't have enough coming in to cover the current outgoings, so paying off a loan would default immediately and if I'd been guarantor I'd have been stuck paying their 12 year loan anyway! Well I retire in 12 years!
    So I know you will all be shouting at the screen at me right now.
    The second obvious thing is that without transport they are buying their shopping in the village one shop. At a huge cost, which means they are either not eating, and only feeding the baby, or they were robbing Peter to pay Paul. Finally juggling all the balls fell down!
    So I have agreed to take them food shopping to Aldi, on my Wednesday mornings, ( you know that precious day off I just sorted out for myself, to see Mum). I have tried to tell them to sort out a menu plan, shopping list etc but they are going to need working with I fear. I also stumped up £60 worth of shopping, I took DS to Aldi, and bought everything I could think of from toothebrushes, to nappies, to milk and inbetween.
    I gave him the shopping receipt and told him that he should use the prices on it, to cost out their meals plan/shopping list for the next week.
    The third big problem is with no transport and very limited buses in the village they are stuck, DS used to get a lift to his job, but without the lift he can't get there, and if he looses that job they would be in even more dire straights if they had to sign on. Looking on the Entitled Too website, they would struggle to meet their basic needs, never mind not be able to afford the buses to the nearest job centre some 20 miles in either direction.
    So I have with Biggest of Mooloo's, told him that we will take him, ( it's a 7.30 start in the middle of an airfield).
    So Saturday mornings will be a very early rise, as some Sunday's.
    Next, dolly daydream wants to exchange to one of the new houses being built, except they are in rent arrears of around £1,000. So that's not going to happen. She is the one who pays the proportion of the rent they have to find, out of the Child Tax credits that go into her bank. However if she is short she doesn't. Big big mistake. So I have told her that until they have been upto date and on top of things it's not going to happen. That she must pay the rent before anythingelse. Then with her being at home then she needs to look after what they have got, look after their Son, and learn to cook!
    Meanwhile DS needs to help her get the place straight, then he also needs to get his license renewed, my Mum has agreed to help me get his bike fixed and back on the road.
    All this is going to have a monetary effect on me certainly for a few months, probably for a lot longer. But I'm not going to just give them money.
    It's all going to go down on their debt.
    Once he is mobile both Biggest and I will be on top of him, making sure he goes and looks for better work, not just two or three days Paintball Mashalling! He is a father now and he needs to act like one.
    I know that the actual chance of getting paid back is probably zilch, but I will try to see about getting it back even if he only commits to a few quid each payday.

    After sorting him out, it was a visit to Biggest to give her her new curtains for her sitting room. With a quick change around, there is now no Red in her front room, and she's much happier.
    Then on to my Mum, and back to Aldi with her to do our shopping.
    A quick lunch with her, then back home to pick up my friend who started a new job in the Antique Cellar, and back to my house for a couple of hours blitzing!
    So DGD's bedroom, the kitchen and the bathroom are all done.
    Then dinner. And an early night.
    Today I have evening lessons to teach. So another busy day ahead.

    Friday we won't be eating out at the pub, I'm supposed to be helping my neighbour sort out her budget, etc
    ( getting good at that one!!)
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
    • grandma247
    • By grandma247 22nd Sep 16, 8:41 AM
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    grandma247
    Mooloo I can understand you needing to help because i would probably have done the same. Good for you for doing it in a way that gives them no other options. Hopefully if you all keep up the pressure on them they will start to grow up and become responsible. I hope that work continues to come in in bucket loads so you can cope.
    • *Robin*
    • By *Robin* 22nd Sep 16, 11:55 AM
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    *Robin*
    One really obvious thing for DS & Missus: They have no need whatsoever to be using disposable nappies. Stick an ask on Freagle/Whatever it's called near you, and get them a washable set!

    The Mum is home all day, no reason why she can't keep a washing cycle together, and it's likely Babe will be clean and dry much earlier than if kept in disposables.

    If they've got a garden now's the time to get digging ready for early veg crops..

    ..Mooloo, you're a saint!
    • Toomuchdebt
    • By Toomuchdebt 22nd Sep 16, 11:55 AM
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    Toomuchdebt
    Mooloo I don't mean to sound harsh but how on earth will they ever learn if you keep rescuing them??? Let them get to rock bottom for goodness sake and they will be fine.They will learn to cope on the money they have and not spend more. I do appreciate they're family but you yourself are not exactly rolling in money are you? Other families manage perfectly well on the money they have be that benefits or wages or a mixture of the 2. Why is your son not able to? He has a g/f and a baby-why are you sorting out their mess? You're enabling them to just keep on as they are because they know someone will always help out. I know you love them but you're not helping them by always rescuing them financially. Do you really think they will change? They need to have a LBM of their own, not have mum bailing them out!
    Debts Jan 2014 £20,108.34


    #69 £1000 Emergency Fund £101/£1000
    Save for xmas 2016 #51 £366/366
    DFBX16 #143 £2370.46/3000
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 22nd Sep 16, 3:43 PM
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    pollyanna 26
    Oh Mooloo I pop in to try to catch up and am so sorry to read that bank of mum has taken another hammering . I can't remember if your son is one off the offspring that need support and recall little of Dolly Daydream . What happened to the bike he had for work ?
    I now they live in an isolated area but they sound as if they could be classed as a vulnerable family . I am aware services are very hit and miss but is there any chance of seeking support for them ? Even something like Surestart or whatever they call it now . If you keep on you aren't going to reach retirement age !
    You've worked hard and long and the point has to come where you say enough .
    I agree with the terry nappies post . Had them for the eldest two in the early seventies and they were still perfect for the last two .
    Really think this one through love , I know you have a big heart but
    you already have more than enough on your plate , you've done all you can to change the situation and it hasn't worked . I suspect even if you could pay off everything they owe and relocate them to dolly daydreams dream home everything would be back to square one soon . Consider yourself and DGD . Life cannot go on like this .
    I am not meaning to upset or offend but I worry about you and this situation is not fair or sustainable .
    Look after yourself where possible .
    polly x
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 22nd Sep 16, 5:49 PM
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    Mooloo
    I agree that they will never learn if I keep helping. The problem is they didn't learn when I stepped away and DS is a skeleton and too malnurished to have any energy to do much at all. I gave him a sausage roll the other evening, when I went around and yesterday his system was up the spout, as he's not been eating.
    They had no clean clothes, because they had no money to buy the washing powder.
    They had only the babies food. ( at least they had that!)
    Dolly daydream is a depressive, and was a self harmer when I met her. She is on the Sick, at the moment, although of course that should not stop her from keeping house!
    DS is a lazy so and so, but he is the one who is doing everything for the baby. He doesn't want his Mum he wants his Dad.
    I fear for them to be honest.
    Yesterday the house was in a much worse state then the twins were when DGD was taken off her Mum and The boys theirs.
    I think my son had thought he could make it work, and didn't want to come to me after I'd told him no before. But he probably would actually die if he doesn't sort his health, and that would not help the baby.
    I will be going over and interfering every time I go see my Mum, and hopefully they will get the message.
    I will also have to call the Social Services my self if I think that DGS 3 has been put at any further risk than the mess.
    DS is under instructions that this is a life game changer, and he has no more chances. I can't take on another baby.
    I'm busy at work, although today was a bitty day, and I didn't get much written up on my board.
    I think that it just goes that way sometimes.
    Tonight I'm teaching so I left at 4.45 to collect DGD and come home.
    I didn't get around to washing up etc this morning, and hadn't done it last night, so I came home to the dishes. Washed up, hung the washing out, put a load on and took my tea out into the garden to drink and write this.

    I will have to stay positive, think of things I can do to motivate DS and get his health sorted out. A few decent meals for a start.
    Perhaps I will have to give them an idiots guide to life!
    Crib sheets, menu plans, shopping lists, todo lists!
    Who knows?
    The bike is broken and has been here in my garden for a year. He had an accident and never went back on it. But I can't see any way we could afford a car, or insurance for him etc. Certainly out of my league at the moment.
    Basically I have done this very reluctantly, and fear the worst, but must hope for the best. Maybe he will have a lightbulb moment.
    I have no hope for Dolly Daydream at all. Her mother threw her out for a reason!
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
    • Toomuchdebt
    • By Toomuchdebt 22nd Sep 16, 5:58 PM
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    Toomuchdebt
    I don't think anyone has ever been so lazy that they didn't eat. Unless drugs are involved then people just don't go round starving themselves. I appreciate there's not much money coming in but I'm on ESA myself and we are not short of food here.It sounds like they both need specialist help-they certainly don't sound mature enough to look after a baby, indeed from what you've written I'd be very worried about a baby in that house. The mother definitely needs help-if the house is that bad, how bad will it be when the baby is crawling/walking/picking things up off the floor and getting ill? Clothes can be washed in just water if necessary in a machine. Or with soap in the sink.
    How old is your ds again?
    Debts Jan 2014 £20,108.34


    #69 £1000 Emergency Fund £101/£1000
    Save for xmas 2016 #51 £366/366
    DFBX16 #143 £2370.46/3000
    • Eager_Elephant
    • By Eager_Elephant 22nd Sep 16, 6:00 PM
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    Eager_Elephant
    ((Mooloo))


    Next time this happens just remember that the bailiffs cannot take what they haven't got - they might threaten all sorts but rarely follow through especially if it is clear they have nothing.


    The only bailiffs to be concerned about are ones who are collecting Magistrates Court Fines as they can force doors (with a locksmith) but too be fair if there is nothing worth taking then it is best to let them in and if you can't pay they will return to court for a means hearing and if the judge thinks they can't afford to pay the fine it can get wiped.


    It's such a shame that DS seems to have to do everything - I had high hopes that his life might get on the straight and narrow. I agree with someone above, can you refer them for support to help with maintaining a tenancy etc?


    Is DS' girlfriend actually depressed or does she just say she is? I'm just wondering what support she has in place in terms of counselling and even medication etc.


    How does she get on with the baby when DS is at work?
    Ninja Saving Turtle No. 1 for September
    NSD - 14/14
    (up to 27/9/16)
    My Diary is here - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2175629 (Eager Elephants Effective Everyday Excursion)
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 22nd Sep 16, 6:21 PM
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    Mooloo
    Ds has not been eating as there was no money for the food while they were trying to pay the debts. As said spinning plates, or juggled balls all fall eventually.
    The Baliff were sent from the court, I believe.
    The baby is already a toddler, he's 18months old.
    I will be going back after work tomorrow and re assess the mess. If there is no difference then I will call the authority myself.
    I didn't know it was as bad ( still), since April I'd not been. I knew Biggest of Mooloo's had been and cleaned up then. I didn't know it was back to square one.
    I'm angry with both of them.
    I'm disgusted with my Son for letting it get so bad.
    I'm angry with myself for not visiting and letting them get on with it. They obviously can't.
    I am doing what I can to point them in the right direction, and expect some results but probably not brilliant ones over night.
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
    • elisamoose
    • By elisamoose 22nd Sep 16, 7:03 PM
    • 1,054 Posts
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    elisamoose
    I think a call to children's social car is needed.They will be able to contact health visitor and other agencies and do what is called here an early help assessment ( it is to help those who don't meet social care thresholds but still need support)
    • whiteguineapig
    • By whiteguineapig 22nd Sep 16, 7:33 PM
    • 859 Posts
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    whiteguineapig
    please please don't blame yourself , you have done all you can (how could you do more??)
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 23rd Sep 16, 7:11 AM
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    Mooloo
    please please don't blame yourself , you have done all you can (how could you do more??)
    Originally posted by whiteguineapig
    I think that I abandoned them at Easter, I walked away, and I suppose I thought that they would grow up, get sorted, etc
    Maybe because the twins seem to have settled into some sort of existence and moved away, I thought that my worries were more of my own making rather than of actual circumstance. However I also thought Biggest of Mooloo's was more intouch with them, but she no longer seems to be her own little Dynamo on the case.
    I feel that I should be doing more in most aspects of my home life. I don't ever feel organised enough, have enough energy to, or very inclined to do things after I've been to work.
    I feel that once I get home, getting tea and then sorting DGD is enough. I sit in my chair exhausted.
    I know staff at 69 has more get up and go than I do!
    However I suppose I must remind myself of how much I have improved since I was ill 7 years ago. 6 years ago when I moved into this house ( in the December anyway), I needed a walking stick, struggled to walk a few hundred feet, and was taking 30 odd tablets a day. Now I can walk to work, go up and down the stairs all day, and only take 2 tablets. Neither related to those days.
    Although my left arm doesn't like some things, I push through. Being left handed predominantly, I have too.
    Brushing DGDs long hair is my morning killer.
    Dropping things happens too often, and my toes know it!! There is definitely feeling back as I stub my toes too often and it hurts!

    But I want to do more. I want to be organised, I want to be good at the housework, the gardening, and better st cooking from scratch again, and feel I should be able to do it after work, but in reality I just don't have the oomph to!
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
    • pollyanna 26
    • By pollyanna 26 23rd Sep 16, 8:28 AM
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    • 6,277 Thanks
    pollyanna 26
    Mooloo I am so sorry you are blaming yourself for everything . You have to try and shift that mindset . You have done far more than is really humanly possible . There is only one of you and I want you to remember there is no such thing as superwoman !
    I hope you will consider getting some outside support in for them . It sounds as though Dolly D needs to learn basic living skills . There are trained professionals who are paid to do the job , they are detached emotionally from the situation and can usually relax when the working day is over . You are non-stop from morning to night and you really can't take this one on again .
    Take care polly x
    • Mooloo
    • By Mooloo 23rd Sep 16, 9:00 PM
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    • 41,565 Thanks
    Mooloo
    Had a quiet day in the shop for sales and jobs in, but a productive one for sewing. Although the big curtain order is now on hold as the woman thinks it's too much money. She was happy with the first lot, and these are priced on the same scale, so I'm a little surprised she thinks that. But as I said yo staff today, I've never been without work since I opened 2 years ago, so I'm not worried if she changes her mind. I hope she doesn't, but I will still have work coming in.
    I've been playing around on facts and figures and dreams this evening. Brought on by Biggest of Mooloo's showing me empty shops in her town.
    Maybe next year.
    Making thermal cooking bags, too help others save fuel costs, and produce fabulous meals for pennies! I love my sewing, and it has helped me to make new friends and feel useful!
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