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  • FIRST POST
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 23rd Aug 15, 9:38 PM
    • 414Posts
    • 1,595Thanks
    bellevie
    Preparing for the biggest move of our life
    • #1
    • 23rd Aug 15, 9:38 PM
    Preparing for the biggest move of our life 23rd Aug 15 at 9:38 PM
    I'm a single parent to 1 child.

    I work for a public sector charitable organisation, whom are making major changes. There are a few jobs remaining, though we have all been guaranteed the same job & pay if we transfer to the northern office...200 miles away.

    So after a few weeks of thinking it over, I am becoming more and more certain its the way to go.

    As a single parent, where I am, I will never be able to afford a home of our own. Its quite an important goal to me, it doesn't need to be big, a small 2 bed terrace or flat will suffice. I would just like some security for DD's future, for my old age, and some space within the monthly budget to save for uni costs, or help her with her own deposit so that she isn't struggling into her 30's as I have done.

    So, I have decided I will either:
    1) Take the offer and move up early part of 2016, renting initially with a view to having a deposit sorted within 3 years.

    2) Get a better paid role in the southern office save some more, find a different job and move in 2 years, perhaps slightly more choice in where I move to? Though DD will be 2 years older so I am conscious that this may impact her more later than me.

    Either way, I am moving. Our current life in this lovely, beautiful town is just not financially sustainable.

    I'm starting my moving fund at £210.64, no set target yet just as much as I can so that I rely on the relocation package as little as possible.

    Here goes........
    Last edited by bellevie; 24-08-2015 at 8:14 PM.
Page 17
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 3rd Sep 16, 1:33 PM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Well the shop today was a fail, I knew I should have gone to Aldi, but I was dreading how busy it would be!

    I overspent - 1 non essential car freshener, 2 weeks worth of lunch box drinks, reduced chicken drumsticks - for the freezer which I had vowed not to do!! I done quite well with stocking the fresh fruit & veg up though. All the prepacked items were too expensive so I opted for the self bag fruit & veg and was surprised at how much I could get for a lot lower than the pre-packed item charges.

    I usually target Aldi or Lidl on Wednesday mornings which is my morning off, but this week there are team meetings which I have been asked to attend. I will reclaim the time, but I wasn't sure I would manage to this week as I'll have a lot to catch up on. I will try to pick up more bread and fruit towards the end of the week on my lunch break, which will cover the weekend and last until NEXT Wednesday when I can resume my discount shopping!

    The car finance paperwork has gone through, it asked me to set up an online account and it says they have discounts with major retailers, savings on food & clothing....I will check that out, if I can save any money on day to day spends it will all help clear the finance quicker.
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 3rd Sep 16, 2:21 PM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Just had a browse, Im quite excited, the site has a lot of discounted cards which are reloadable.
    So I could upload for example enough to cover the winter coat I have seen, but pay 10% less, and likewise for food. I think the biggest savings would be for me to upload a months worth of money for food, I would pay less than the actual voucher, and it may mean I stick to budget! They dont cover all the supermarkets, but for example when DD's uniform needs updating, most of that is from Tesco, Sainsbury or M&S, so I could preload the money and get my discount before I shop! There is 7% off an argos card which is where a lot of DD's Christmas presents come from!

    No immediate savings as I've done this weeks shop, and an planning to use lidl / Aldi in the next few weeks, but I may consider starting a couple of cards for Argos & Tesco with Sept, Oct & Novembers pay so I am set for Christmas & birthdays! The saving with discounts will be more than my current esave account pays!
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 4th Sep 16, 11:02 AM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Nothing to update money wise, I just need a place to vent.

    I dont want to go into a lot of detail, but I also need to let some out before I explode!

    I have been single forever, through choice / circumstance. I left DD's dad whilst pregnant, it took a long time for me to re-settle & find my confidence again. My confidence returning coincided with the loss of my nan, then when I got over that the loss of my mum.

    3 years on from that, so earlier this year, I was pursued by someone. Initially I was having none of it. He carried on, and after weeks of gentle conversations eventually I relented. My goodness do I regret it.

    I dont want to go into more detail, but I just cant shake the frustration. I thought I had made progress, I received a long awaited apology before I went on holiday (it was over long before that) and I felt the pressure evaporate from me as soon as it was said.
    It was left at an apology by him and forgiveness from me nothing else - no going back.

    Im trying to be relieved that its done, lucky escape etc, but I cant shake the disappointment in myself for not seeing him for what he was sooner. Especially after DD's dad. We spoke for a long time before I relented, and in those conversations, I told him things only one other person in RL knows! Likewise he shared private things so we both knew where the other was coming from. It was only then that I felt able to go forward, and my gosh what a mistake!

    Its done two rather strange things to me, firstly I hadn't realised how much I missed company and the usual nice things that go along with being with someone. It almost planted a little memory seed, and nice memories from my past have come flooding to the surface. I'm remembering that its not all bad.

    Secondly, I dont know how I stand a chance of weeding out the good from the bad if I didn't see this one coming. We met in RL, we are connected on an almost daily basis and I didn't see it. Until it was too late.

    I will have to see the above man this week, I did genuinely accept his apology, I am forced to be connected to him for the time being so I was hoping this would make things less awkward day to day. In all honesty, whilst I have so much doubt in myself Im going to struggle to face him.
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 4th Sep 16, 11:12 AM
    • 416 Posts
    • 1,081 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Sorry to hear you are feeling like that but don't be annoyed with yourself, it's not your fault. You seem very strong so just show him this week how strong you are by not appearing bothered ( I know easier said than done). Lots of us have let people into our lives and then have been letdown, remember they are the ones at fault not us. Cheer up and remember how wonderful you are doing! You should be very proud of yourself x
    Capital one balance to clear by 31st December 2016 £1245/£1400

    Weight to lose by 31st October 2016 11bs/14lbs ( to weigh 10 stone 10lbs)
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 4th Sep 16, 11:51 AM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    thank you for your very kind comment

    I have been doing my best to show it hasn't affected me, quite well I think. But inside its like a tornado about to burst through. Im so cross that I let him know so much about me, and that he used that to his advantage.
    I am such a private person in RL, I keep everyone at arms length, and only allow a few people any closer than that. He slipped through the net and should never have been allowed into my life.

    I know in time I will just deal with the fact that he KNOWs me and there's diddly squat I can do about it. For now though, it makes my blood boil.
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • Jumblerina
    • By Jumblerina 4th Sep 16, 5:12 PM
    • 106 Posts
    • 298 Thanks
    Jumblerina
    Hey Bellevie - just sat and read your diary on a lazy Sunday afternoon, you've done so well on your journey so far. Glad to hear you and DD had a great holiday I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the guy, I understand how you feel, when someone breaks your trust - it makes you feel so vulnerable. Take some time to be kind to yourself and I know it's a cliche but time will make things feel better.

    Jumblerina
    Last edited by Jumblerina; 04-09-2016 at 5:22 PM. Reason: I clicked submit before I finished my message!
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 10th Sep 16, 11:56 AM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Well that week flew past!

    DD went into more breakfast club sessions than I had hoped, but I have a lot of morning appointments next week, so she will hopefully attend only once or twice, reclaw some of that money back.

    It was quite a difficult week to start with the guy, he started to speak to me, and I quickly realised that if I didn't close the situation down I would be close to exploding. I said what I need to say and put an end to it all nicely, but permanently. I have felt a lot better since and havent been worried about running into him etc.

    Got to get through lots of washing today, planning just to pop out and get milk, bread, cheese, ham, yogurts.

    I need to have a full clean up things have got cluttered over the past few weeks and I will need all the drying space I can muster as the weather starts to turn. I havent used my tumble drier as its one of the recalled ones. They wont be out until January.....they offered a replacement for a fairly low price instead of repair, but I had held back as I felt if it wasn't faulty I wouldn't have to replace it - so why should I!
    Now I'm thinking of the clothes on airers, doors, radiators, dinning chairs....it will drive me insane!!

    I'll contemplate it a little longer.

    I havent had to draw down into my savings for the first time in months!!!!! Payday in 10 days, so fingers crossed I shall be adding more to that figure then.

    Work was busy busy busy in both roles, I felt a great level of satisfaction though I got through a huge amount, and of course a certain amount of relief when Friday came

    Im going to have one more tea then get started on the housework - I have already got one load of washing done, but my ironing from last week remains untouched :/
    Last edited by bellevie; 10-09-2016 at 3:50 PM.
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 11th Sep 16, 1:24 PM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Quick stop at the mini Tesco as I just needed packed lunch items and yogurts, £7.17 spent.

    I have updated spreadsheet, if I am able to put away the figures predicted my total savings by the end of the year will be 68% my original target. Its annoying, especially as I know I should have gone way above target if I hadn't spent so much trying to keep the old car!

    DD wants a party this year, she didn't have one last year as we got Mr T. This year I will agree, though it will have to be cheap & cheerful. We are debating between pizza hut or bowling. Luckily there are less than 10 girls in her class, so I have said we will do girls only party. I feel sorry for the mums of the boys, they have to shell out for most of the class, or make some difficult choices!

    Revisited the help to buy site, havent checked it out in a while. Prices locally, along with rent are still way out of my reach. 20-30 minutes down the road, they are reasonably cheaper. I still think I may end up moving to the cheaper office a few years down the line, but deep down I keep hoping to be able to find a way to stay! I know the only way to stay will be if prices crash, or increase pay.
    My salary is reasonably good already, its just the buying alone with a small deposit that makes things a lot harder. If I was looking for a 1 bed place, I'd sail through without an issue.

    I havent ruled out 1 beds, there was a 1 bed house up last year, but I didn't have the deposit needed. The bedroom was big enough to be able to be cut into 1 small double, 1 single and it was a lot cheaper than the 2 bed up the road.

    4 Loads of washing done, lots drying out the sunshine today! A few more bits to do, but otherwise today should be quite a chilled day.
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • Tinkerbelle2000
    • By Tinkerbelle2000 12th Sep 16, 10:15 AM
    • 290 Posts
    • 924 Thanks
    Tinkerbelle2000
    I am liking your very organised signature!! Do you have a method, are you clearing them down in any particular order?xx
    Originally posted by bellevie
    Hi Bellevie. Thank you, no particular order, one is a weekly payment and the largest is a family loan which I have been given some breathing space on but I will try to get rid of the smaller ones first. All are interest free apart from one so maybe should do that first.

    Sorry to hear about the man trouble. I'm so anti man at the moment and after six months I'm still getting carp from him. This was terrible judgement on my side yet again. I don't think I'm good in a relationship or maybe I just pick the wrong type of person. I also separated from DD's dad when I was pregnant, this was not my choice though so I do have some trust issues.

    Sounds like you are feeling a lot better about it now you have had your say though.

    Tink xx
    LBM 11/08/15 - Total Debt Owing:- £10338.89 01/09/16 - £14027.85
    DEBT 1 = £477.17 DEBT 2 = £568.00 DEBT 3 = £285.34
    DEBT 4 = £725.02 DEBT 5 = £166.10 DEBT 6 £1084.10
    DEBT 7 = £1324.59 DEBT 8 = £6325.00 DEBT 9 £3001.93
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 12th Sep 16, 8:39 PM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Sorry Tink....I hope it stops for you soon
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 14th Sep 16, 10:28 AM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    oooh how I am relieved to have my peaceful Wednesday mornings back!!!

    I done the food shop in Lidl after dropping DD off at school, spent £32.45.

    I will hoover upstairs & down and get the floors mopped before I head off to work after lunch.

    I didn't realise how much I had missed these few hours to myself a week!
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 17th Sep 16, 11:29 AM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    The rest of the working week flew, it always does these days!

    Payday on Tuesday, it will be lower this month as less mileage but still enough to cover bills & tuck some away.

    October will be an expensive month, my brother has a big birthday & one of my nieces birthdays so we are likely to visit them at some point. I will have to try & squeeze budgets to free up some money as I dont want to have to take from my saving, but I can if I absolutely need to. I'll check my amazon vouchers as I may be able to get my nieces presents there.


    I had such a head ache yesterday, I was in bed by 9! Wednesday night the heat kept me awake, I eventually dropped of around 3am and had to be up at 6! Then Thursday that shocking all night storm, I cant have had more than 2 hours sleep. Then Friday I left work at 4.30 to get dd swimming, I would have normally got to her school by 4.50....I didn't get there until 5.40!!! I knew I we wouldn't get to swimming as traffic surrounded the town, I tried a couple of shortcuts in and out of various surrounding villages but everywhere was at a standstill. We eventually got home at 6.30 - a 2 hour 8 mile journey home!

    I had the traffic on most of the way, there must have been an accident of some sort but no updates on the radio.

    So by the time I got home my head was ready to explode.

    I slept very well, have shifted most of the headache, and am slightly relieved its a grey weekend, I feel like I need a calm film filled weekend
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 21st Sep 16, 10:22 AM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Woohoooo!! I got through my first month of the year without having to draw down from my savings!!!!

    I am still not on track to reach my target, even with everything else cut back, but I will be ending the year with more than I started with at least

    Transferred this months amounts. One of the accounts is actually towards Christmas / birthdays so I shouldn't count that one as I will start to draw down from it bit by bit now that September is almost finished! Can you believe it!! 3 more paydays before Christmas!

    I have to go in a little earlier today for training, so I need to crack on with housework otherwise I will never get anything done.

    Fingers crossed for another month of untouched savings!
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • Tinkerbelle2000
    • By Tinkerbelle2000 21st Sep 16, 1:55 PM
    • 290 Posts
    • 924 Thanks
    Tinkerbelle2000
    Well done Bellevie on not touching the savings. You mentioned the dreaded C word lol. Looking at my budget I will have enough spare money at the beginning of December to get the presents I need. We have a small family so its not too bad. After Christmas that spare cash will be going to my savings/emergency fund.

    Keep up the good work.

    Tink xx
    LBM 11/08/15 - Total Debt Owing:- £10338.89 01/09/16 - £14027.85
    DEBT 1 = £477.17 DEBT 2 = £568.00 DEBT 3 = £285.34
    DEBT 4 = £725.02 DEBT 5 = £166.10 DEBT 6 £1084.10
    DEBT 7 = £1324.59 DEBT 8 = £6325.00 DEBT 9 £3001.93
    • Jumblerina
    • By Jumblerina 21st Sep 16, 9:04 PM
    • 106 Posts
    • 298 Thanks
    Jumblerina
    Great work Bellevie must feel good to get to the end of the month with your budget right on track and your savings untouched good idea on the Christmas/birthday fund - I'm just starting different funds to save in advance
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 22nd Sep 16, 7:09 PM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Thank you both, I was really pleased! It was tight, £8 left in one account, £30 in the other!

    This month should be less tight with a safer floating balance!

    I find my Christmas /birthday fund really useful. I usually put £30 a month in, there is a little less than that so far as I kept going into it at the beginning of the year. I am lucky in that sense, its only really DD & brothers family I buy for unless I have people visiting which is rare. My blood pressure rockets when people announce they are stopping over Christmas! DD doesn't need anything 'big' her bike is new, scooter is new, she has a working tablet from a few years back. I think I will be getting lots of crafty bits, puzzles, books, a couple of pretty party outfits and she will be set!

    I have a day off tomorrow to use some flexi hours I built up. I had a clear out of my room, have lots of old clothes / shoes etc that I can shift to the clothes bank, plus some other things to take to the tip, old kettle, chewed up dog bed etc!

    No spends planned, though I may have browse around see if I can get ideas for my brothers birthday
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 23rd Sep 16, 12:44 PM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    trip to the dump & clothes bank done.
    I stopped of at wickes on the way back, I needed something to fix one internal door so I can close it without putting a chair up against it! That's now sorted.
    I also picked up a little tester pot to work out the closest paint to my kitchen, this is the closest by far but I actually think the kitchen just needs a good paint all over! I will be sticking to the tester I picked up as it will be the closest, just a bit brighter. I have a couple of days off in October half term so I think I will use that time then, might even manage to rope DD in.

    Im still contemplating whether to allow whirlpool to fix my dryer or to pay a price for a replacement. Its a few years old now, so may have needed replacement soon. I am swaying, but I need to work through my budgets check it wont cause me any problems before committing.
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • bellevie
    • By bellevie 23rd Sep 16, 1:43 PM
    • 414 Posts
    • 1,595 Thanks
    bellevie
    Well having rechecked my email, its now only click & collects available, no chance of that on my own!

    I will stick with the free repair and hope for the best. It didn't *touch wood* have any problems before, and I only stopped using it following the notice that it was affected. It wont be fixed until Jan, that date has stayed the same for months. A little annoying that I wont get any use of it through half of winter. Still hopefully it will last for a lot longer and I will get many more years of use from it!
    2016 Savings target....
    Sept 2016 - 43%....better get a move on
    • Tinkerbelle2000
    • By Tinkerbelle2000 23rd Sep 16, 10:12 PM
    • 290 Posts
    • 924 Thanks
    Tinkerbelle2000
    That's a bit of a nightmare with the dryer. You would think they would offer a free replacement if you didn't want the repair doing.

    If it makes you feel better I have to dry indoors as well lol. I have sheets and duvet covers hanging over the tops of doors at the moment. I'm glad the doors were new when we moved in or I think I would have had to find another way to dry them. I also have a shower rail that is fitted to the ceiling which goes round the bath so I put a lot of work clothes and school uniform on hangers and hang them off that. They are usually dry the next day without heating at the moment.

    You might be right though, with not using it this winter it will last you that little bit longer.

    Tink xx
    LBM 11/08/15 - Total Debt Owing:- £10338.89 01/09/16 - £14027.85
    DEBT 1 = £477.17 DEBT 2 = £568.00 DEBT 3 = £285.34
    DEBT 4 = £725.02 DEBT 5 = £166.10 DEBT 6 £1084.10
    DEBT 7 = £1324.59 DEBT 8 = £6325.00 DEBT 9 £3001.93
    • RosaBernicia
    • By RosaBernicia 23rd Sep 16, 11:27 PM
    • 2,898 Posts
    • 7,203 Thanks
    RosaBernicia
    Wooo go you! That's a fab milestone


    Rosa xx
    Proud to be dealing have dealt with my debts - DEBT FREE May 2016
    DFW Diary - Balancing not just the budget
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4398229
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