I Need A New Me

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  • Tink, Life is for living don't be too hard on yourself - Hopefully the day out is a good memory for you and DD and you can't put a price on that ;-)
    Sam x
    Grocery challenge Feb £107/£100-epic fail due to cake and biscuits
    🌟
  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,867
    Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Post First Anniversary
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    Tink please calm down a little and don't be so hard on yourself - everybody blows the budget in the early days and at least in your case it was in making a little person very happy and you know it was much appreciated!

    Since you asked about how we learnt to deal with it - in my case the answer has a lot to do with learning to take things slowly and allow a more generous budget in the first place. I used to set things up to pay off a massive chunk, telling myself I'd live really cheaply for the rest of the month, and there was always something I'd forgotten or something that came up or it just turned out actually it's really really hard to totally deprive yourself for weeks at a time. It was really helpful to me to work out my real spending and allow myself small pots of money for non-guilty fun stuff. It meant a lot less nasty surprises and guilt, and when those are out of the way there's more energy to be spent on other debt busting and living.

    I totally support your point on teaching your DD to be good with money though - I had no clue as a kid or adult :o and have learnt by making my own mistakes. It's a really good skill to give her and will help her do whatever she wants to do in her life.


    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
  • MuffinTops
    MuffinTops Posts: 2,477
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    Hello Tink,

    I agree completely with everyone else and particularly with Rosa on setting a realistic budget. This is when I go wrong, if the budget or promises I set aren't really realistic. Then you go over slightly and, as I've already crashed it, let's really go to town.

    Your mindset doesn't need changing so much as your budget. Even if it's high on certain things and you gradually reduce it from there. Just give yourself a realistic starting point.

    Definitely don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing great, you honestly are. MTxx
  • Thank you ladies, you are all lovely. The only thing I need to deal with now is my Council Tax which I am a bit behind on.

    Bellevie - My DD is 16 this year and we are hoping for a very very cheap break to London. I have found a hostel that is £130 for my, DD and my friend for two nights. I think that is a bargain, don't you? The only things she wants to really do when we get there is sight see (which can be done on the very cheap, feet!) and have a look round the really posh shops that we could never afford anything from. I would also like to book a show (birthday present) but that depends on prices. Me and my friend just want to go to Camden Market so we are getting together this weekend to see how cheap we could do it. I'm hoping my four day week kicks in soon and the extra, for now, can be put towards the break.

    Sam - You really can't put a price on the memories. We had a really good laugh, she got some nice bits and she was happy. How she kept saying I've had a lovely day mum is just the best.

    Rosa - I am definitely going to keep on at her about saving money and she can't wait until she's 16 so she can get a part time job. I've even got her planning! We made her one. Can't get cheaper than free. I had all the stuff, an A5 folder, card and sticker paper so we printed out a calender and found some free stickers on line and she is made up with it. She even has a weekly tracker in it to make sure she does some things every day. Start small and she will always stay organised, hopefully.

    MT - I think a new budget is definitely in order. The thing is once I went a bit over, I thought sod it, I've gone over now so I might as well do it in style. That is the sort of thing I want to change. Next time I have to go over budget on something I want to be able to think right where can I change my budget to accommodate the overspend.

    Well at least I was honest with myself and you. Today only £3.05 has been spend on milk and grapes.

    I want tomorrow to be a NSD. I can't think of anything we need.

    Take care all.

    Tink xx
    As of 31st December 2018 Total Debt = £15837.59
    DEBT 1 - £41.10 DEBT 2 - £257.41 DEBT 3 - £584.12 DEBT 4 - £700.00
    DEBT 5 - £655.02 DEBT 6 - £669.18 DEBT 7 - £3448.00 DEBT 8 - £2169.12
    DEBT 9 - £2964.25 DEBT 10 - £4349.39
  • £3.05 is a really low spend day - Well done and I might Join you see if I can have a NSD tomorrow, although I budget daily (as I'm useless at keeping the focus for more than a day) I will try


    Thinking of you and wishing you well :)


    p.s what happened to all that virtual chocolate we used to have ..
    Grocery challenge Feb £107/£100-epic fail due to cake and biscuits
    🌟
  • Thanks Sam, I'm gutted though as NSD has gone out of the window due to DD needing lady things.

    Cake and chocolate! It's all disappeared although I think I left MT cake yesterday.

    I do have RL chocolate on my desk though so I'll leave you some virtual choc and a nice brew.

    Tink xx
    As of 31st December 2018 Total Debt = £15837.59
    DEBT 1 - £41.10 DEBT 2 - £257.41 DEBT 3 - £584.12 DEBT 4 - £700.00
    DEBT 5 - £655.02 DEBT 6 - £669.18 DEBT 7 - £3448.00 DEBT 8 - £2169.12
    DEBT 9 - £2964.25 DEBT 10 - £4349.39
  • Well I didn't get my NSD yesterday thanks to DD lol so I got a few other bits that we needed.

    I spent £9.75 which still isn't too bad. Got bread, milk, salad stuff, DD's lady things and some hay fever tablets (forgot to order my prescription).

    DD has got me on the abs challenge and yesterday was day 2. Feeling it a bit more today so dreading tonight but day 4 is a rest day!

    We've had lovely weather this week and I'm hoping it continues as I desperately need to go to my allotment. I'm thinking that if I get a house next year I might just grow at home. As much as I love it there it's a pain having to go and water all the time when there are other things I want to do. Need to have s think about it.

    Hope everyone is having a good week.

    Tink xx
    As of 31st December 2018 Total Debt = £15837.59
    DEBT 1 - £41.10 DEBT 2 - £257.41 DEBT 3 - £584.12 DEBT 4 - £700.00
    DEBT 5 - £655.02 DEBT 6 - £669.18 DEBT 7 - £3448.00 DEBT 8 - £2169.12
    DEBT 9 - £2964.25 DEBT 10 - £4349.39
  • Yay me, I had a NSD yesterday :j:j I'm hoping everyone is ok, its been a bit quiet recently, even on the diaries I'm subscribed to.

    I must admit to having a couple of lazy days. Had a really busy few days at work and I just needed to chill, making the most of my days off with DD and then she is back at school and I will be studying.

    I've been thinking about changing my shopping habits. I normally do my shop on a Saturday morning for what we need throughout the week and in the week I normally have to top up with milk etc. We get through so much milk I think it would be cheaper to invest in a cow :rotfl:

    I have a freezer full which really needs using so I was thinking of just buying what I need when I need it. Last week I called at Sainsbob on the way home from work and it was cheaper than I thought. I'm thinking if I set a budget for my groceries then taking MT's view I can still class it as a NSD if I don't go over budget.

    Due to my little blow out on payday I think I have things in perspective again. I do still need to get a few bits for DD's uniform but other than that we need nothing else. I am also going to cancel sky apart from the internet as I have a good deal with that. My DD gets pocket money from my mum every week so she has had netfl1x for the last couple of months and we end up watching things on that and most of my down time when I used to watch tv I am now watching you tube videos.

    Mr D has been naughty again today. I had to buy him a new crate as he has finally managed to bend the other one round the catches. I bought a new one at the start of this week and it mustn't have been as good quality as he has already bent all the door and broke pieces off it. I got this from a shop on 3bay and I'm wondering if I can put a complaint in. It did say it was heavy duty and for his type of dog so in my opinion it is not fit for purpose. We are going to try giving him the run again but I am going to turn the handles of the bedroom upside down so that he can't get in the bedrooms. He seems to force little presents out in DD's room even though he is taken out right before we go out. I'm not sure what else we can do. He used to love his crate but I'm not going to keep spending money on them. I will leave him a cardboard box out to play with as he likes that but does anyone else have any ideas?

    DD and I have also come up with a couple of little business ideas that we can do from home. She has come up with a couple of ideas where we could have an 3tsy shop and I'm really impressed. Also, the outlay would be minimal as we already have some of the things we would need and the others are very cheap.

    Hope everyone is ok and looking forward to the weekend.

    Tink xx
    As of 31st December 2018 Total Debt = £15837.59
    DEBT 1 - £41.10 DEBT 2 - £257.41 DEBT 3 - £584.12 DEBT 4 - £700.00
    DEBT 5 - £655.02 DEBT 6 - £669.18 DEBT 7 - £3448.00 DEBT 8 - £2169.12
    DEBT 9 - £2964.25 DEBT 10 - £4349.39
  • bellevie
    bellevie Posts: 871
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    sounds exciting setting up a little business together :)

    re your dog, do you have any rooms in your house that are wipe clean floors that you can put him in whilst you are out?

    Mr T is in the kitchen, which is a reasonable size - only because of the sofa chewing incidents! I dont know what to suggest about the toileting, Mr T is walked before and after work, he is fed just before each walk so seems to have got himself into a good pattern of releasing the previous meal after each walk!

    Is he adjusting to your 3 full days at work do you think, or does this happen irrespective of how long you go out for? When does your dog walker arrive, is it a daily thing or just as and when? Could you arrange for her to visit on your working days in the middle to break the day up, gradually coming later and later until he lasts? If it happens no matter how long you have been gone, then its got to be linked to behaviour rather than need - but if you put him in a carpet free room for now, at least it will be easier to clean up :/
    MFW
    Starting debt :£287,410 -11/2020

    2022 Closing balance £271,402.45 

    2023 closing balance £263140


    Original end 11/2045 
    New end date :....... 

    Overpayments to date £514.4 (1/24)



  • doingitanyway
    doingitanyway Posts: 8,650
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Mortgage-free Glee!
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    Hoping all is well Tink?
    If you have built castles in the air, your work should not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.

    Solicitor/survey savings 300/1700
    Emergency fund 0/1000
    Buffer fund 0/200
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