Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

AspiringButAnxious · 10 November 2015 at 9:45PM

Thanks guys

Sorry your dh isn't doing well, ccl.

I've had a quiet and unproductive day, thanks to headaches and general tiredness. However, I did some more job searching (nothing jumped out) and remembered that Pets at Home have fish, so it's probably not the best job for me — I have a fish phobia. Seriously. I've been texting a friend who is very encouraging :A and is coming over on Saturday for a catch-up and to help with my job/career strategy.

Meanwhile, I received a £5 Amazon voucher from SB, bringing my new balance to £7.72. I need about £15 to get my brother a retro sweet hamper and £25 for my parents' present (a water butt) and then I'm done!

belleandthebudget · 10 November 2015 at 10:25PM

Wow, you're so on top of the Christmas presents!! I still have quite a few to go. Actually I should start writing everything I've already bought on a list so that I can get more organised. Thanks for the inspiration!

scubaangel · 10 November 2015 at 10:53PM

Hi ABA just found your diary after your visits to mine.

You really are organised with the Christmas pressies - I've not even started thinking about mine! Although I am working on my amazon balance towards them when I work it out.

Hope the job hunt starts to pick up, I hated being unemployed last year, so demoralising when its not going well. Hope the time with your friend helps you refocus.

AspiringButAnxious · 11 November 2015 at 11:50PM

Thanks guys

Today has been stressful After being told I wouldn't have to return to Working Links until my appointment with the life coach next week, I got an appointment letter on Saturday saying my advisor has made an appointment for me this week (tomorrow). No explanation or anything, so I was worried and stressed, of course, since I have anxiety. I emailed my advisor on Sunday, asking what was going on, and he deigned to reply late this afternoon. Apparently, my life coach appointment has been cancelled. My advisor said he tried to phone me this week, but got the answer machine — he didn't bother leaving a message, not even to ask me to call back. So now I'm in a bit of a state, to say the least, and won't make it to tomorrow's appointment. I emailed telling my advisor how much the whole situation is stressing me, so I guess I have to wait and see what he says.

To make matters worse, the travel expenses I get were reduced several weeks ago from a mileage payment to the price of the cheapest form of transport, which is the bus. Never mind that I can't travel on public transport alone due to my anxiety! This means that every appointment I attend costs me money.

Thankfully, my mum is completely on my side. She can see how much it's affecting my health. She says she will write to WL, the national press, David Cameron... Whatever it takes! :rotfl: As if any of those care. I honestly think that the benefits system aims to kill off people by piling on so much pressure that they kill themselves. I hadn't been seriously suicidal for over 4 years — until last week. I'm a little better now, but I was actually making a plan and that's bl**dy scary since until a few months ago, I was happier than I had been for years.

Today's achievements:
• Posted on my blog
• Did 35min on exercise bike
• Didn't go completely crazy at shopping

belleandthebudget · 12 November 2015 at 8:41PM

Hang in there ABA - you've made such amazing progress and you can't let the b*stards grind you down, as they say! It's horrible treatment from WL but try to use that as fuel for your plan to get away from them rather than letting them spoil all your hard work. xx

crazy_cat_lady · 12 November 2015 at 10:42PM

What Belle said ^^^^
Hang on in there - you've been doing brilliantly.

misstara · 12 November 2015 at 10:51PM

^^^^ what belle and ccl said. Sorry to hear things have been a bit !!!!!!. Sounds like a great plan to get off esa. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you

AspiringButAnxious · 13 November 2015 at 1:47PM

Thanks guys

My advisor at WL has neither replied to nor acknowledged my emails. Nice to feel so valued. I received a mandatory appointment for next Thursday and have no idea whether I will be able to make it. I could feel beeter by then, but experience and instinct tell me I will probably feel the same or worse.

I hate that WL/my advisor don't have the decency to treat me like a human being. Is it unreasonable to expect an explanation when I receive an appointment letter after being told I wouldn't have to go in for another week? Is it unreasonable to expect a simple acknowledgement of my communications and how I feel? I don't think so, but maybe I'm wrong.

On a brighter note, I received a £2 Amazon voucher from a panel to which I belong and have ordered another £5 one from SB. My current state of mind is not conducive to doing much else, but I hope that seeing my friend tomorrow will help.

AspiringButAnxious · 14 November 2015 at 2:55PM

Still really upset about the WL situation :mad: and anxious about Thursday's appointment, but it sounds like my mum is coming with me :A so at least I will be aable to face it and won't have the stress of driving.

I won 25p on Luckyphone this morning

Also been roped in to do some sticking up (skittles) tonight, because my dad can't find anyone else. Most stickers-up are 15/6 and I am 31... It's been years since I last did it and it's bl**dy hard work, but my mum is helping and says I can have the £18 we get paid if I do most of the work. It should be over in an hour and a half (I used to do a whole match in 1 hour 10mins in my glory days!) and I will be soooo stiff tomorrow, but it will give me a little extra pocket money. Feeling a bit anxious about going to the pub, but will be with my parents and busy sticking up, sp it shouldn't be too bad. I also know most of their teammates.

My friend has been and gone, which was a great catch-up and she's encouraging me to write to local shops to see if they would like me to do a few hours here and there. Top of my wish list is the bookshop

crazy_cat_lady · 14 November 2015 at 9:33PM

Hope the evening is going well for you ABA - small steps all add up. I'm pleased that your mum is going to go to your appointment with you as well, and I hope that will make the whole experience a bit less stressful. I will confess though, that I have absolutely no idea what sticking up is...

Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

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