Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    • 3,213Posts
    • 14,246Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    £6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    £2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    £560.00 Barclaycard
    £2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    £1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    £10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total £25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 88
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 10th Jan 18, 2:21 PM
    • 3,213 Posts
    • 14,246 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Abba, I haven't noticed any particular ill effects apart from a bit of backache which has been coming and going for a few weeks so I think I must have been careful enough.

    I was quite annoyed but OH and my parents were furious so I had to put the complaint in to appease them as much as myself! Like they said, I've got a pretty huge bump so not like he couldn't have noticed, and I did tell him when I asked for help but he was half back in his van before I'd turned round and had no interest in helping whatsoever - XDP will not be on my courier list ever again! Not that they were in the first place, I've never had anything delivered by them before!

    I've been itching to decorate the house sashy, so I'm making the most of the excuse we've been here for 13 months now so it's about time we had some colours other than white lounge is still my favourite room in the house as it's the only one which is fully decorated!

    I was hoping the visualisation and breathing techniques would help me while I was still at home but it's looking increasingly likely that I will be induced so won't have much option to labour at home How lovely that you managed so well with the breathing and got to go in the pool - sounds like a dream labour....if such thing exists! xx
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £1142.20/£4000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 10th Jan 18, 4:49 PM
    • 2,533 Posts
    • 19,298 Thanks
    sashybo
    Kirsty youíre doing better than us with the decorating, weíve been here nearly 4 years & havenít painted one wall.

    I think the visualisation & breathing techniques could still work for you even being induced. I was certainly still using deep breathing whilst in active labour (in between the gas & air ).

    My labour was great and I was coping well in the pool - one of my midwives was even saying how calm I was & had I ever considered a home birth until I stalled at 8cm & they had to break my waters. DS had moved back to back & there was meconium so I had to be monitored then transferred from the midwife unit to consultant led (only one floor down). They put me on the hormone drip to get labour going again & I had the diamorphine as well as the gas and air at that point. I did get to 10cm but couldnít push DS out fast enough for the consultant so ended up with a forceps birth.

    My DH was amazed at how calm I was, you just donít know how youíre going to cope until it happens I guess. I never really felt scared which I put down to DH being there & the staff. The midwives were all really good & the consultant was very efficient! He whipped DS out of there without a scratch! Although it was a long labour & there were some minor complications it was still a really positive experience and Iíd happily have another.

    After all that waffle Iím sure youíll have a lovely straightforward labour & birth Kirsty.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9615 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,635.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £832, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 10th Jan 18, 8:50 PM
    • 600 Posts
    • 2,324 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Wow, the pregnancy is progressing quickly! Have fun getting ready for the little one's arrival. Precious times...
    paydbx #93 £155/£8,000.
    Loan £17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans £3342 March 2017. £3206 in Oct 17
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 10th Jan 18, 10:03 PM
    • 398 Posts
    • 5,622 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    I hope the courier takes your complaint seriously! I'd be furious!

    Try not to worry about labour or being induced. Go with the 'flow'

    Every labours different. I much preferred my labour I was induced and back to back (DD). DS was my first who came at home very much unplanned and alone , very quick and tbh I didn't even get chance to think I was in labour I thought I had back ache from doing too much! then youngest again was really quick without a midwife again but not back to back.

    So don't let anyone's scary stories worry you (I was terrified by a few 'friends' when I had to be induced with DD.

    x
    ďOnce you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.Ē
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 10th Jan 18, 11:12 PM
    • 2,533 Posts
    • 19,298 Thanks
    sashybo
    Oh dear, I hope I donít come into the category of scary stories.... It really wasnít bad & I was already thinking about when to have another baby within about 24 hours.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9615 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,635.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £832, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 10th Jan 18, 11:24 PM
    • 398 Posts
    • 5,622 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    Oh dear, I hope I donít come into the category of scary stories.... It really wasnít bad & I was already thinking about when to have another baby within about 24 hours.
    Originally posted by sashybo
    No of course not, but some of my friends where telling me some right horror stories. Which I understand can happen but when you're nearly ready to give birth is the last thing you want to listen too

    I would have another tomorrow if I knew they would be healthy and I have 3! x
    ďOnce you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.Ē
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 11th Jan 18, 12:06 PM
    • 3,213 Posts
    • 14,246 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks all!

    To be honest with my midwifery background I scare myself more than others scare me. I try not to think about the unpleasant/complicated deliveries I was involved with but I can't stop it at night and I have had some very 'interesting' dreams about labour!

    I'm not too concerned about being induced, other than the constant monitoring when I'd rather be active. What will be will be, and I'd rather be induced and have a bit more pain than leave him in there with a deteriorating placenta so all will be well

    Can you tell I'm feeling positive today?! Wallpaper is going up in the nursery, I've had a busy but productive morning at work and I'm only 3 weeks from moving to half days and 6 weeks from annual/mat leave

    I also had a refund yesterday which allowed me to make an OP to both NZ card and mortgage so I'm a happy bunny about that too I'm only a few days from being under £160k - I am at the moment already under that target but our large interest amount will be added on 14th so I will then make an OP to bring us under it, meaning I have beaten my original target by a couple of months (to be under £160k before baby arrives)

    Have been doing some sums on the turn2us website - I know we aren't entitled to anything while I'm working but thought we may have some entitlement to tax credits whilst I was on maternity - apparently not. Frustrating to constantly pay into a system which I've never needed to access before, and now that it would be helpful isn't an option. I am forever grateful that I haven't had to claim anything before and need to stop feeling sorry for myself about maternity pay

    Sashy I've been obsessed with decorating since we moved in so I'm pleased we are making a start, albeit a very slow one!
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £1142.20/£4000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 12th Jan 18, 10:00 AM
    • 3,213 Posts
    • 14,246 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I appear to have been hit by the dreaded SPD or PGP as they are calling it these days and walking or separating my legs makes me feel like my pelvis is going to split open. I've currently got a pregnancy girdle type contraption on in the hope it helps and I'm also bouncing on my birthing ball at work as my office chair was making it worse. I must be the worst pregnant person ever, I feel like all I do is moan about yet another ailment

    Nursery looks amazing and I can't wait to get the carpet down. It's so strange to think in less than 11 weeks there will be a baby in our home!

    OH is off to the performance car show with my dad on sunday so I'm debating taking some work home to do or going to my moms for the day. Sister and her fiance are going wedding venue hunting so mom might have the little one, in which case my decision is already made, I don't see nearly enough of her!

    My dad has started a very expensive diet plan. Normally I would roll my eyes at another example of their out of control spending but I completely agree with the decision they've made this time - my Dad is an amazing man but a completely emotional eater (thanks to some pretty hefty issues from his Mom) and the past few years his weight has gone up and up and up and we are all really worried that he won't be with us much longer at the rate he is going. He called yesterday to let me know he'd lost 8lbs the week before he started the programme just by cutting out biscuits and cans of coke, and has lost another 9.5lbs on the first week of the programme. I'm so proud of him!

    Hope everyone is well, and having the friday feeling that is currently lurking for me! xx
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £1142.20/£4000
    • monz
    • By monz 12th Jan 18, 10:13 AM
    • 2,903 Posts
    • 8,802 Thanks
    monz
    Well done to your dad!!!!xxx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £6,356.28/10,000
    mothers day 10/30 boots, mums July birthday boots vouchers 0/50
    dads march birthday amazon 0/30
    holiday - £678.24/1064.72
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 12th Jan 18, 12:17 PM
    • 4,171 Posts
    • 13,191 Thanks
    abba1772
    Wow that's amazing amount of weight to lose in 2 weeks well done to your dad xx

    Get yourseLf referred to physio for your spd I've had this with every pregnancy first one they thought she had fractured my perlvis and then was on bed rest with the Xander from 20 weeks then Kk decided to just finish my pelvis off and started my spd off at 13 weeks pregnancy the bed rest and pain management ........and insist on physio after your wee one is born as I was still suffering three years after Kk was born but physio has really help to strengthen my muscles around my pelvis xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £3907.04
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 £561.53
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 12th Jan 18, 12:51 PM
    • 3,213 Posts
    • 14,246 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I'm so proud of him - he's really making an effort. He always does well to start with though so I'm hoping he can keep going longer than a month now, which will be brilliant as he doesn't normally last that long.

    Thanks Abba - I asked about physio and she said the waiting list is 8 weeks at the moment which is a pain as he is due in 10 weeks I've still been put on it so fingers crossed they can get me in earlier!
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £1142.20/£4000
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 12th Jan 18, 4:48 PM
    • 4,171 Posts
    • 13,191 Thanks
    abba1772
    If you feel it's getting worse get your gp to push harder for you to be seen it took me having a breakdown in the doctors office at 27 weeks and telling them I was done I wanted the pregnancy to be over........I was crawling the walls xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £3907.04
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 £561.53
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 13th Jan 18, 10:48 AM
    • 2,533 Posts
    • 19,298 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi Kirsty, sorry to hear about the SPD, that sounds so painful. At least it will all be worth it in the end, not too long to go now.

    Hope you can get physio sooner, abba is right go to the gp to try & get it quicker. Another thing to consider is a visit to a chiropractor or osteopath. I went to the chiropractor throughout my pregnancy as my pelvis was being all knocked out & she maintained it for me until after the birth & then corrected the problem. Of course you have to pay but if you can find a good chiropractor itís well worth it. My chiropractor was recommended to me & Iíve going to her for around 10 years so trusted her to help me. My sister prefers osteopathy to the chiropractor but Iíve never been so not too sure of the difference.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9615 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,635.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £832, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 13th Jan 18, 11:22 AM
    • 3,213 Posts
    • 14,246 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Abba - I feel a bit silly because it's really only when I'm walking or getting out of bed/the car at the moment and I know others have it so much worse! It's horrible but it eases when I sit down and I know people have it way worse. I'll definitely keep it in mind though, if it gets worse I'll definitely push for an earlier physio if possible.

    I'm feeling very happy today as the interest was added to the mortgage so I've made my OP to take it under £160k My goal was to get it under this before little one arrives so I've definitely met that goal

    Thanks Sashy, I have a recommendation for a chiropractor so I may well give them a call next week and see if they can do anything to help.

    Todays mission is to clear out the spare room which is full of all our carp as well as all the stuff from the nursery because of having that decorated. OH has a hobby room which has also been taken over with my nursing glider and a few other bits which he is not best pleased about so need to get that sorted ASAP Also to list things on FB sales - we have the old carpet from the nursery, a chest of drawers, an upcycled chest that took me AGES to sand down and repaint, and a coffee table that I also upcycled....no room for any of it so it has to go, and the money will be split into donuts pot and my extra mat leave pot/sorting our budget after my error which is good
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £1142.20/£4000
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 13th Jan 18, 1:34 PM
    • 4,171 Posts
    • 13,191 Thanks
    abba1772
    That's fab news on on hitting you're mortgage target that's great news

    Good luck with selling your items on fb xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £3907.04
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 £561.53
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 15th Jan 18, 3:14 PM
    • 3,213 Posts
    • 14,246 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Abba, I am very pleased with this!

    Found another calculating error not so much a calculating error but an error I wasn't aware of.... I figured when they say you get 90% of you salary for 6 weeks, it was based on normal salary.... have since found out it is based on the 2 pays before the qualifying week, which means my qualifying paydates happen to be when I was hospitalised with morning sickness and had 3 weeks off work, when I was only paid SSP I'm gutted that I didn't know about this, and that it means more re-jigging of the budget....leaves me about £900 off where I thought I would be so that's brilliant news.... not!

    I should really be more up on this, it is HR after all but I've never had to deal with it and I obviously haven't done very well this time

    On the upside my maternity leave has all been approved by Director and Accountant so at least that is all in hand and I can stop worrying about it. I've put in for the full 12 months off but given my inability to work out our incomings and outgoings properly it's highly unlikely I will be able to take that time. My aim now is not to need to come back in December, but to return in Jan so fingers crossed I can sort that out

    I'm also rounding down the accounts daily to make extra payments to the CCs so I can keep the monies in savings. Hopefully this will help my plan!
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £1142.20/£4000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 15th Jan 18, 3:58 PM
    • 2,533 Posts
    • 19,298 Thanks
    sashybo
    Thatís a bummer about the maternity pay Kirsty. I think itís really confusing the way they work it all out.

    My company has 10 keeping in touch days which you can use during maternity leave & you get paid your usual rate for that day. Iím using mine to extend my paid mat leave by 10 weeks as one day a week works out nearly the same as SMP & mine stops in roughly 4 weeks. Does your company have anything like that?
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9615 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,635.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £832, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Jan 18, 8:50 PM
    • 3,420 Posts
    • 29,294 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Sorry to hear about all the hassle with your maternity leave Kirsty. It sounds way too complicated for my tiny brain, but I feel your pain. I had to go back to work after just 4 months with ds and I really didn't want to.
    DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 16th Jan 18, 11:54 AM
    • 3,213 Posts
    • 14,246 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I think it's far too complicated! I consider myself to be reasonably intelligent but it's all gobble-de-gook! Such a shame CCL, obviously he isn't here yet but I'm really pleased that even if nothing else works out how I'm planning, I'll be able to have 9 months with him. Wouldn't have been able to consider that with the previous debt! Did you manage a longer mat leave with DD?

    I can do KIT days, I'll be using 2 in July as we have the HSE in for a review which happens every so often, it just happens that this one falls in the middle of my mat leave and Director is already flapping about it so I'll be here for that. My mom will have little one so that will be nice to have some extra money that month. I can try and do the other days in Jan in the hope I can extend my leave until February.... depends if the company agrees though, I've been told I can't demand the KIT days, it will only be if they need me in, which is fair but frustrating when I know they will still be on the phone whenever there is an issue

    Spent yet another night at the hospital last night as I'd had a headache for a few days then had some vision disturbances which started at lunchtime and got worse until I gave in and called Triage at 3.30 - I've had a possible blood clot in my lung previously and my sister had pre-eclampsia with my niece so I'm high risk for clotting and pre-eclampsia and need to get checked out if my blood pressure could be high - 5 hours later they think it is related to my gestational diabetes as my blood sugars have been high in the mornings. I'm fine with meals but I can't control my fasting results - I've tried a high protein snack before bed and it just makes me sick in the night so I'm seeing the diabetic consultant this afternoon to discuss possibly moving onto medication in the meantime they have advised reduced screen time as that is making my headache worse....easier said than done when I work in an office but I will make a concerted effort not to spend time on my phone or laptop of an evening so I can get a good break.

    Hope everyone is well xx
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £1142.20/£4000
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 16th Jan 18, 12:27 PM
    • 4,171 Posts
    • 13,191 Thanks
    abba1772
    You're certainly having a time of it Kirsty hopefully the medication will help you xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £3907.04
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 £561.53
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

1,895Posts Today

8,894Users online

Martin's Twitter