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  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    • 3,103Posts
    • 13,806Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    £6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    £2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    £560.00 Barclaycard
    £2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    £1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    £10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total £25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 85
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 27th Nov 17, 8:43 AM
    • 4,039 Posts
    • 12,406 Thanks
    abba1772
    What a fright you must have got hope your relaxing today...........hope you managed to have a relaxed conversation with oh as sometimes holding it in makes tongs worse as you start to overthink things xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £4531.19
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £6826.34 / £6000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 27th Nov 17, 11:39 AM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    No such luck Abba, if anything I feel worse about it all now. Still haven't got anything resolved and I am trying very hard not to be so angry that I might turn into the hulk....deep breaths for baby!!!

    Had some lovely HR stuff to deal with this morning which is almost finished luckily so I'm having 5 as my mind isn't really here today and I'm struggling to concentrate.

    No payments to be made today, but xmas shopping almost complete. Still need to get my moms birthday present which is the day they fly home so will have a look around over the next week or so
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 27th Nov 17, 12:23 PM
    • 4,039 Posts
    • 12,406 Thanks
    abba1772
    Deep breaths indeed........best have a talk tonight As it sounds likes you're about to explode and whilst no arguement / disagreement is pleasant I would prefer the calmer approach xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £4531.19
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £6826.34 / £6000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 27th Nov 17, 3:52 PM
    • 2,459 Posts
    • 18,690 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hope you get things sorted in a fairly calm manner with OH Kirsty and are feeling ok today.

    I didn’t buy enough bibs for DS at first, couldn’t believe how many we could go through in a day. We also forgot to buy anything like socks or booties so the poor wee spud went home with bare feet. He was wrapped up in his shawl & it was June though so we got away with it. He now seems to hate socks though & kicks them off at every opportunity.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9565 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,824.32
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £952, Car loans £24,151.20
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 28th Nov 17, 10:13 AM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I feel a bit better today thanks Sashy, we had quite a calm conversation although there were lots of tears (that's pretty normal for me at the moment though, even when there is nothing bad going on I end up in tears at least twice a day ) things aren't great and it doesn't help that we are sleeping in different rooms because of my mammoth pregnancy pillow as I feel like there's a lot of closeness that has disappeared for us. Ah well, hormones and him being an unsupportive a*se probably aren't going to change anytime soon!

    I did a stock take the other day and realised I only had 3 bibs and 4 pairs of socks/booties so they are definitely on the list! A friend gave me a few bags of 0-3 month stuff that her little monkey has outgrown too so I'm going through that tomorrow night to inventory.

    OH thinks I'm mad, I have an excel spreadsheet with details of how many short/long/sleeveless vests, baby grows, outfits we have for each size. Oh to be less obsessed with spreadsheets
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 28th Nov 17, 1:04 PM
    • 2,459 Posts
    • 18,690 Thanks
    sashybo
    Aww Kirsty, sorry to hear that you’re feeling a bit distant from OH. I think a lot of men just don’t “get” it when their partner is pregnant and just feel left out (and sometimes a bit jealous).

    My DH felt a bit out of it all, especially earlier in the pregnancy & sometimes I felt like he was being deliberately obtuse about things to annoy me. A lot of my feelings were to do with my hormones making me oversensitive but I wasn’t just imagining it, DH was a bit put out at times.

    I found that getting DH to do more things for me & the baby helped - he rubbed my stretch mark oil into the bump every night at bedtime and it helped him feel closer to the baby, especially when I was further along & he could feel DS moving about. He would talk to him & DS then got to know his daddy’s touch and voice so would respond by kicking. Still not sure if it was excited kicks or go away daddy kicks though.

    I had a full length body pillow, a v-shaped pillow & a wee wedge support pillow for under the bump when I was bigger. DH had maybe a third of the king size bed but he clung on for dear life, he was determined he wasn’t getting kicked out of his bed.

    I wish I was so organised with the baby clothes Kirsty. I wasn’t too bad with the stuff before he was born but got a lot of 3-6 month stuff as presents & then just kept picking up bargains in 6-9 month stuff. I had to go through it all the other day to start organising it & was sticking post its on the hangers (as I also have some 9-12 month stuff) & was a bit as think I’ve bought too much of some stuff & not enough of others.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9565 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,824.32
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £952, Car loans £24,151.20
    • lauradora
    • By lauradora 28th Nov 17, 2:14 PM
    • 1,309 Posts
    • 4,330 Thanks
    lauradora
    I'm feeling a bit the same at the minute..
    It takes me about 15 minutes to get myself tackled up in bed at night with pillows etc by the time i'm settled i'm exhausted and just go to sleep....

    We never seem to have a cuddle or anything anymore its quite frustrating

    I want rid of my debt and my fat in 2015!
    DFW nerd no 844


    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 28th Nov 17, 2:24 PM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I think there is an element of jealousy, and also I think he is still a bit shocked that we got there without IVF - the Doctors had explained the chances of conceiving naturally to both of us and I had been brutally honest about the likelihood of IVF so he had geared himself up for it taking a while. I'm thrilled (and so is he deep down) that we didn't need to get to that point but it's taking him a while to actually believe it.

    He is much more excited about when donut is actually here, and not remotely bothered about the pregnancy. I find it annoying and unsupportive but his take on it is completely different

    I've got an amazing pillow that is a proper pillow at the top and then has a 'leg' that goes either side of my body, along with a normal pillow under my tummy - there's very little room and he gets quite grumpy about his sleep being encroached upon!

    If I could send you a picture of the nursery floor Sashy, you'd think I was mad! I'm sure I have enough clothes for 3 babies

    lauradora I found that it's made me really irritable as I was feeling very alone and has caused a couple of huge arguments. We have now decided to go to bed and have a cuddle and then get me sorted with pillows, in the spare bed if needed, just to make sure we are still getting some quality, non screen related time together! Have you talked to your OH about it?
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • WannabeFree
    • By WannabeFree 29th Nov 17, 11:14 AM
    • 453 Posts
    • 3,091 Thanks
    WannabeFree
    I think most men don't feel as excited about pregnancy as they do about when baby arrives. I think its sometimes 'more real' to those pregnant than relatives if that makes sense. No excuse to make you upset though.

    Hope the pains have stayed away and you're taking it easy x
    “Once you hit rock bottom, that's where you perfectly stand; That's your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.”
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 29th Nov 17, 1:18 PM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks WF - sometimes I probably don't give him enough slack. I think I have this 'perfect pregnancy' image in my mind and he (along with our naughty little man causing scares) are not conforming to my perfect image

    I'm working on it, I just wish he would try and even pretend to be a little bit interested sometimes

    Has been a difficult few days at work but we seem to be over the worst of it and the atmosphere is much better than it has been, which is a relief

    OHs Xmas do this friday which is causing some anxiety on my part. We are far from where we were 2 years ago but I still have some issues with him being out and being drunk as that is where some of the issues occurred before. I will be trying to stay busy with Xmas wrapping to take me mind off it
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • lauradora
    • By lauradora 30th Nov 17, 12:02 PM
    • 1,309 Posts
    • 4,330 Thanks
    lauradora
    lauradora I found that it's made me really irritable as I was feeling very alone and has caused a couple of huge arguments. We have now decided to go to bed and have a cuddle and then get me sorted with pillows, in the spare bed if needed, just to make sure we are still getting some quality, non screen related time together! Have you talked to your OH about it?
    Originally posted by kirtsypoos
    Tried this last night with good results, thank you

    I want rid of my debt and my fat in 2015!
    DFW nerd no 844


    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 30th Nov 17, 5:54 PM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    It's a good plan at the moment for us, glad it's working for you too

    Work has gone mental today! I've got tenders coming out of my ears and such limited time to do them in...I'll need all my wits about me for these, which is much easier said than done at the moment.

    I've been a bit spendy - I have a gliding feeding chair arriving tomorrow for the nursery and have picked wallpaper for the nursery. All in the budget but I hate seeing the savings account going down!

    Very little going on with OPs this week as not a lot is coming in under budget and I'm still trying to build a bigger buffer in the house account for next year.
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 1st Dec 17, 4:23 PM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Well today has been a bit of a better day at work, although still have stuff to do coming at me from all angles.

    I'm looking forward to a nice bubble bath and getting the rest of the Christmas presents wrapped. Still haven't got anything for my Mom though, and she still won't tell me what she wants

    I'm feeling pretty exhausted with everything currently. Had half a microwave cottage pie for lunch and it only stayed down for an hour. I'm so sick of vomiting! Little man was very active last night while I was trying to sleep though, so I'm quite excited about that. Slightly makes up for the sickness!

    Counting down until the next DD comes out for OHs CC, under £200 seems like a fab milestone
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 6th Dec 17, 1:33 PM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I'm being very neglectful of my diary at the moment

    Plodding along. Last xmas presents bought today for 3 little ones that I'd forgotten still need to get something for my mom but I have the money aside for that and think I'll just order something from Next for her - she rarely buys anything for herself and she loves next.

    I had my 24 week midwife appt yesterday and am now supposed to see her at 28 weeks but she's put it off until I'm 30 weeks...not too impressed but I have a consultant appt just before christmas and another on 6th Jan so it's not like I'm being abandoned but I really look forward to my midwife appts and her having a feel and measuring my tummy!

    He jumps around in there now, it's amazing to feel. He's started to react to OHs voice too which I think is lovely - in truth I think it's any male voice as we face timed my Dad last night and he reacted to his too so it must be the depth/tone of a male voice. Still cute

    I've finally finished the final tender of my list for this week. 43 documents and 273 pages. I could have cried when it was finally over. Tenders are definitely not my idea of fun!!

    OHs DD comes out tomorrow. I'm itching to update the spreadsheets and the snowball calculator other than that there isn't much going on.

    I've taken to sending OH to the shops because once I'm home I just want to sleep but he is a liability. Never sticks to a list and just adds things he fancies into the trolley willy nilly. I really need to get back to sorting this out for both our sakes. I appreciate him trying to help me out by doing things when I'm feeling rubbish but the next time I see a tub of haagen dazs added to the receipt because, and i quote 'well it was on offer, what was I supposed to do' I may well launch him into the garage for a few days

    I'm also not eating of an evening so he makes huge portions or doesn't use up what goes out of date next because he doesn't fancy it. It then ends up in the bin and I'm seething silently. Apparently some of this anger is my hormones, which is good or I think he would be fearing for his life. Luckily I end up angry then cry over a TV advert 5 minutes later so he's safe for now
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 11th Dec 17, 10:58 AM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Neglectful me back again

    OHs DD came out last week so I updated the snowball calculator and my spreadsheets. Oh I do love to do that!!

    I've listed a few bits of furniture on ebay which were in the spare room (now nursery) and are currently in the garage and a few other householdy bits on fb sales but the terrible snow is affecting anyone getting to us to collect. The estate is a mess - the roads are basically ice and as we didn't go out yesterday we had a good 7-8 inches covering the car to deal with before we even contemplated going anywhere

    I've made it to work with a couple of scary moments - mainly on the estate as the main roads are all fine but my office is in a residential area and on an incline so had to abandon ship on the shop next doors car park until the lads had shovelled and gritted our carpark. I was helped back to my car and back up to the office so I felt quite safe - definite bonuses to this pregnancy lark! My centre of gravity has really shifted though so I'm a bit unsteady on my feet at the moment. Not ideal in ice and snow!

    I'm trying to decide whether the items I'm selling on ebay/FB sales should go for OPs on OHs CC/Mortgage OPs or car loan OPs.....or just straight into the maternity leave pot....hmmm. I might do a percentage breakdown and see where that leaves me. I think there should be about £65 in total once everything is collected and another large item I'm hoping will fetch £50. That could be a little payment to everything and still be noticeable. Will have a think! If I can scrape £25 to OHs CC it will be paid off with the February payment, 7 weeks before donut is due which would be nice. That will be my short term aim!

    Hope everyone is well and the snow isn't causing too much of an issue! xx
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • reality_check
    • By reality_check 11th Dec 17, 11:07 AM
    • 699 Posts
    • 1,563 Thanks
    reality_check
    Yeah be careful in the snow/ice! I normally hate the snow, but loving it right now, mainly because I don't have to go to work, so enjoying in from my house nice and cosy.

    You are so good and focussed with all these overpayments, you will be mortgage free in no time at this rate.

    Why don't you get your mum something that you can do together? Spa day? Afternoon tea? Tickets to go somewhere? These are always my favourite types of gifts to get xx
    Starting debt £18,675.63
    Current debt: £8,000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 11th Dec 17, 11:22 AM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I loved looking out the window at it over the weekend, and it was great fun having a mini snowball fight with OH whilst we tried to clear the car this morning but actually driving in it was a bit stressful!

    I really love experience gifts but she's so difficult - she has a lot of health problems including mobility issues which can cause a problem going to places, and severe bowel issues which mean some days she can't eat so it's always a struggle to arrange anything in advance as we don't know how she will be on the day. She's fine in her own surroundings but being out and about can be problematic if one of her issues flares up. I've had a look at Next and can't see anything that she'd love so it's back to the drawing board!

    I'm having a 3D scan on 23rd and using the pics from that for presents for my grandparents (I have deja vu saying this but can't find that I've mentioned it before, am I going mad?!) so will get a nice frame for my Mom and Dad while I'm at it xx
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 15th Dec 17, 1:00 PM
    • 3,103 Posts
    • 13,806 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Our mortgage interest was updated yesterday so I made an OP to bring us down to £160,500, meaning we SHOULD be on track to be under £160k in mid Jan (probably only by £1 but under is under!!)

    Also made the OP to OHs CC of £25 meaning it now has 2x £75 payments to clear it

    Had a disagreement with my Mom yesterday as I've ordered OH a present from the baby, something I know he will love and wasn't the cheapest but was within my xmas budget.... she called to tell me she'd ordered the same thing as she thought I wouldn't bother with it being expensive. I told her it had upset me as she hadn't even checked and it's not something which can be returned - it's coming from Australia!!!! She said she'd ordered it for me to give to him from donut....made me feel about 10 and that I wasn't capable of buying my own presents and I got quite upset about it.

    My sister is happy for her to do these things, but I'm really not and I wish she wouldn't. I know she means well but I'm 31, with a mortgage and a baby on the way - I don't need people buying me presents to give to other people Possibly hormone related over reacting but it's still bothering me today so I feel justified in having my say

    Got some furniture being collected tomorrow and sunday so that money can go straight in the baby pot - I want to build up a fund to be able to do baby sensory and swimming classes with him, on top of the extra maternity leave I want to take....easier said than done this saving for a baby malarkey
    £150/3000 OH BC(95% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £150/31010.23 (99.51% paid)
    Mortgage - £160,500.00 (2017 O/P £2475.46) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £18,079.25/14,539.71
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 15th Dec 17, 1:51 PM
    • 4,039 Posts
    • 12,406 Thanks
    abba1772
    It was a lovely gesture but your mum should have checked with you first to see if that was ok xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £4531.19
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £6826.34 / £6000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 15th Dec 17, 3:05 PM
    • 2,459 Posts
    • 18,690 Thanks
    sashybo
    Not long to go until you’ve paid off OH’s cc then, well done.

    I would probably have been annoyed as well Kirsty, as you said, your mum could have checked with you first. Will she be able to sell it on as she can’t return it?

    Baby sensory is really expensive Kirsty! Maybe I’m just a skinflint I was shocked as they wanted all the money up front for the year & it costs £8 a week, couldn’t afford it to be honest & there was a long waiting list too so check if you need to join one in your area.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9565 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £46,824.32
    Loan £3754.39, CC 0% BT £952, Car loans £24,151.20
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