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  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    • 2,812Posts
    • 11,767Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    £6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    £2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    £560.00 Barclaycard
    £2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    £1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    £10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total £25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 63
    • Tinkerbelle2000
    • By Tinkerbelle2000 15th Apr 17, 1:55 AM
    • 551 Posts
    • 1,932 Thanks
    Tinkerbelle2000
    Hi Kirsty

    I'm so sorry I missed your birthday. Belated birthday wishes. I hope you are having a lovely time with your grandparents and I'm also glad you had a lovely time away.

    OH has definitely earned some brownie points with the PC.

    Take care.

    Tink xx
    LBM 11/08/15 - Total Debt Owing:- £10338.89 01/11/16 - £13996.57 01/12/16 - £13062.92
    DEBT 1 = £104.63 DEBT 2 = £853.00 DEBT 3 = £297.41
    DEBT 4 = £725.02 DEBT 5 = £166.10 DEBT 6 £700.00
    DEBT 7 = £1324.59 DEBT 8 = £3150.00 DEBT 9 £22419.88
    • Jessy103
    • By Jessy103 15th Apr 17, 9:55 AM
    • 265 Posts
    • 918 Thanks
    Jessy103
    That's great news Kirsty! x
    Original Mortgage Amount 2007 - £87,310.50
    Mortgage Amount April 2017 - £64,990.00
    Overpayment Target for 2017 - £5,000 /£2,396.80
    Jan - £873.26 Feb - £185.38 March - £269.07 April - £193.66 May - £467.64 June - £407.79
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 15th Apr 17, 1:56 PM
    • 3,875 Posts
    • 27,190 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Congratulations Kirsty - that is absolutely fantastic news. Doing the happy dance for you
    NST June#24 NSD 8/15 RYSAW17 #1 £412.74 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 15th Apr 17, 4:29 PM
    • 2,812 Posts
    • 11,767 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I banked the cheque this morning! I'm still in shock!

    Basically the only debt we will have remaining as of Friday is OHs CC and the car loan (which I hadn't put as part of my signature). Almost all of my original debt, plus most of our joint debt not on my signature will be cleared.

    We have decided to leave the car loan to run. It's at 3% so part of me wants it cleared so I'm not paying interest, but we have to be realistic - £150 a month is easily manageable for us and we have a lot of money that we still need to save for NZ, plus the amount we want saved for a baby isn't insignificant!

    I will be looking at the savings goals as debts - I know that focusing on this as a debt will help me to get it 'paid off' as fast as possible.

    Until the money clears I still don't think I'll feel like it's real!

    OH mentioned being able to have joint finances sooner than we planned so we need to have a SERIOUS conversation at some point over the weekend.

    My Grandparents have just left to go to my parents for the rest of the weekend and we will be joining them tomorrow or Monday for a birthday meal and some time with the little niece <3

    Had another acupuncture session today and I'm black and blue! Having a week off next week and will go back in 2 weeks so hopefully it is actually doing something.
    £960/3000 OH BC(68% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £960/31010.23 (96.90% paid)
    Mortgage - £163,450.00 (2017 O/P £1213.91) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £14789.69/14,539.71Make £10 Apr £194.58 Make £10 May £159.75 Make £10 June £245.11
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 15th Apr 17, 4:42 PM
    • 2,314 Posts
    • 17,944 Thanks
    sashybo
    Congrats Kirsty, that must be a great feeling. Enjoy it.

    I know you said in your earlier post that it feels a bit like cheating but it's really not because if you hadn't laid the groundwork and paid off a big chunk of debt already, you wouldn't be as near being DF now.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £8204 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £41,696.64
    Loans 1 & 2 £6246.99, Car loans £25,815.54
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 16th Apr 17, 12:34 PM
    • 2,812 Posts
    • 11,767 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks Sashy that is what OH and my parents said and I am thrilled that the amount they are gifting us (same amount to my sister to help her buy a house) is enough to almost clear my debt - 2 years ago it would have been a drop in the ocean!

    I keep changing my mind about what is next and I think I'm driving OH mad.

    Until Friday (payday for me, and when the cheque is due to clear) I think it won't seem real so I won't be able to make a proper decision. I may spend the next week changing my mind on here
    £960/3000 OH BC(68% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £960/31010.23 (96.90% paid)
    Mortgage - £163,450.00 (2017 O/P £1213.91) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £14789.69/14,539.71Make £10 Apr £194.58 Make £10 May £159.75 Make £10 June £245.11
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 19th Apr 17, 8:57 AM
    • 2,812 Posts
    • 11,767 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Well I'm still completely torn over what to do next and I'm swinging from one idea to another.

    I'm feeling a bit down at the moment, which is ridiculous I know, I've been working hard to get to debt freedom and now that it's in sight I just feel a bit anti-climactic and very down.

    The next thing I need to work on really is my weight. It's getting way out of control. My appointment for the acid reflux op came through for mid-May and I have to cancel as I'm still 10 kilo away from them doing the op - I only had 12 kilo to lose so I'm not exactly doing very well

    I sound like I'm whining and ungrateful for this amazing gift and I feel awful, because I am so very grateful that I can't even describe but I just feel a bit lost.

    Sorry for the not so upbeat post. Normal service will resume shortly I am sure.
    £960/3000 OH BC(68% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £960/31010.23 (96.90% paid)
    Mortgage - £163,450.00 (2017 O/P £1213.91) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £14789.69/14,539.71Make £10 Apr £194.58 Make £10 May £159.75 Make £10 June £245.11
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 19th Apr 17, 9:02 AM
    • 3,875 Posts
    • 27,190 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hi Kirsty
    My dfd was such an anti climax for me. I'd worked for years and thought it would be a massive celebration, but it wasn't. I just felt really flat about it, and didn't quite believe it. Plus this brilliant debt free life I planned afterwards has not materialised - I still need to watch every penny. I totally get where you're coming from. Try just to ride with it though, and move onto your next project.
    I need to do something about my weight too - it's starting to get me a bit down. I just can't decide what to do in terms of diet and exercise. Maybe we can motivate each other a bit.
    NST June#24 NSD 8/15 RYSAW17 #1 £412.74 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 19th Apr 17, 9:22 AM
    • 3,498 Posts
    • 9,043 Thanks
    abba1772
    Sorry to hear your feeling low I totally get where your coming from every time I clear a target I think I have like a day where I'm all chuffed with myself and then I start to think of what next and I too start to feel down but it does pass.

    Have you thought about joining a slimming club like weight watchers or slimming world, I've done weight watchers since my youngest was born and he's four in August I've kept majority of the weight off but the support you get from other people to keep going defo spurs me on, I don't think I would have lost all that weight off if I didn't have the group support xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS £3308.35 NOW £3308.35
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £2802.67 / £6000
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 19th Apr 17, 10:04 AM
    • 10,623 Posts
    • 68,479 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hi Kirsty

    Congratulations! Even if it feels like an anti climax now it is still an amazing thing long term.

    Take care

    Bob
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £54.82 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1855 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 19th Apr 17, 10:31 AM
    • 2,812 Posts
    • 11,767 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thank you all.

    I'm sure I will feel very up and down for the next few weeks, I'm really irrationally pleased that you felt the same though CCL, I was wondering what is wrong with me

    I think spurring each other on weight loss wise is a great plan too, it's always good to be accountable to someone else if I cheat, I am much more disciplined then!

    There are a few things going on in the background fertility wise which are a bit upsetting at the moment too, and I know that will be having an effect on my mental state.

    On the plus side, OHs mom only has 2 chemos left and although her hair has gone she is in good spirits. Until the next chemo anyway, it really leaves her feeling awful so she is rotten for 2 weeks afterwards.

    Our flights to NZ are booked. We got a very good deal compared to what we were expecting having looked before. They are on a 29 month 0% CC. Although the money is in savings to cover them, I would just rather earn interest on that for now. How times change!
    £960/3000 OH BC(68% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £960/31010.23 (96.90% paid)
    Mortgage - £163,450.00 (2017 O/P £1213.91) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £14789.69/14,539.71Make £10 Apr £194.58 Make £10 May £159.75 Make £10 June £245.11
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 19th Apr 17, 11:53 AM
    • 10,623 Posts
    • 68,479 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Sounds like such an adventure heading to NZ. Glad your OHs mum is doing well at the moment. It really is such a scary thing having ill relatives.

    Hoping the fertility issues can be resolved too.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £54.82 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1855 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 19th Apr 17, 1:35 PM
    • 3,498 Posts
    • 9,043 Thanks
    abba1772
    Glad to hear your mil is doing ok xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS £3308.35 NOW £3308.35
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £2802.67 / £6000
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 19th Apr 17, 9:22 PM
    • 3,875 Posts
    • 27,190 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Lots of positives then. You've got a good deal on the flights (with cc protection as well). MIL is doing well and chemo almost at an end. I have everything crossed that the fertility stuff will be sorted out soon as well.
    I did a quiz about what diet I should follow. It suggested 5 2 - I think I might die on 500 calories even if it is only 2 days a week...
    NST June#24 NSD 8/15 RYSAW17 #1 £412.74 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 20th Apr 17, 10:09 AM
    • 2,812 Posts
    • 11,767 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Sounds like such an adventure heading to NZ. Glad your OHs mum is doing well at the moment. It really is such a scary thing having ill relatives.

    Hoping the fertility issues can be resolved too.
    Originally posted by Bobarella
    Thanks Bob I'm really excited about the NZ trip now that I feel a bit more settled money wise! And I'm really looking forward to time spent with the in laws.

    OH is keeping it a secret from his friends as we are planning to just turn up at their house during an annual event that they all get together for

    Glad to hear your mil is doing ok xx
    Originally posted by abba1772
    Thanks Abba, it's such a relief

    Lots of positives then. You've got a good deal on the flights (with cc protection as well). MIL is doing well and chemo almost at an end. I have everything crossed that the fertility stuff will be sorted out soon as well.
    I did a quiz about what diet I should follow. It suggested 5 2 - I think I might die on 500 calories even if it is only 2 days a week...
    Originally posted by crazy_cat_lady
    I think I need to look at things with a more positive hat on, there are lots of positives at the moment, and I need to appreciate them

    I'll have to have a look at the 5:2, I've heard good things about it but I feel the same about the 500 calories a day
    £960/3000 OH BC(68% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £960/31010.23 (96.90% paid)
    Mortgage - £163,450.00 (2017 O/P £1213.91) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £14789.69/14,539.71Make £10 Apr £194.58 Make £10 May £159.75 Make £10 June £245.11
    • Jessy103
    • By Jessy103 20th Apr 17, 11:00 AM
    • 265 Posts
    • 918 Thanks
    Jessy103
    Hi Kirsty. Hope you're feeling abit better today? I've seen a few people write on their threads what they are thankful for each day, like a sunny day or a nice meal! It sounds like a nice idea for you to do to appreciate the little, positive things that happen everyday, I think I'm going to have a go at it! Best wishes to your MIL and I hope she's all better soon!

    Take care! x

    P.S Do you have room in your suitcase for me when you go to NZ?!
    Original Mortgage Amount 2007 - £87,310.50
    Mortgage Amount April 2017 - £64,990.00
    Overpayment Target for 2017 - £5,000 /£2,396.80
    Jan - £873.26 Feb - £185.38 March - £269.07 April - £193.66 May - £467.64 June - £407.79
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 20th Apr 17, 11:03 AM
    • 2,812 Posts
    • 11,767 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I am feeling a little better today but still quite miserable if I'm honest!

    I want to be happy and joyful but I don't seem to have it in me at the moment
    My little pooch is coming to stay for just over a week and she arrives tonight so I'm looking forward to having her around, I know she will cheer me up

    Bit of a rough time at work at the moment. I'm being told I made an error which will delay everyone in the companys wage payment but I KNOW I didn't and I'm getting very frustrated with it. We have an external accountant so once a month I tot up all the timesheets and send a summary of wages to our accountant. I have always done this 2/3 days before payday and it's never been a problem but this month it was 3 days from payday and they are saying they need a minimum of 5 working days to process payments so I'm getting very annoyed that this has never been mentioned before and worried that no one will get paid tomorrow as they should

    OH mowed the front lawn last night and then ordered me a curry as I'd had a completely rubbish day and wanted to cheer me up. I appreciated the thought but I wasn't really in the mood for takeaway - I'd have been happier with a bowl of mash - I'm so ungrateful sometimes

    I watched the Dr Christian programme last night and there was a woman on there with pelvic congestion syndrome. It really resonated with me as what she was describing is exactly how I feel a lot of the time, like when my pains are bad I'm more of a burden than a help. OH saw me getting upset and was lovely and reassuring but I do worry what effect my conditions have on him - it can't be easy seeing me in pain or when I can't do much.

    Just another feel sorry for myself day I'm afraid. I'll pull myself out of it shortly I am sure.
    £960/3000 OH BC(68% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £960/31010.23 (96.90% paid)
    Mortgage - £163,450.00 (2017 O/P £1213.91) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £14789.69/14,539.71Make £10 Apr £194.58 Make £10 May £159.75 Make £10 June £245.11
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 20th Apr 17, 11:06 AM
    • 2,812 Posts
    • 11,767 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Hi Kirsty. Hope you're feeling abit better today? I've seen a few people write on their threads what they are thankful for each day, like a sunny day or a nice meal! It sounds like a nice idea for you to do to appreciate the little, positive things that happen everyday, I think I'm going to have a go at it! Best wishes to your MIL and I hope she's all better soon!

    Take care! x

    P.S Do you have room in your suitcase for me when you go to NZ?!
    Originally posted by Jessy103
    Oops must have cross posted with you there Jessy

    I have seen the things to be thankful for on a couple of diaries and I really should get into it - it would really help me at the moment I think.

    I would try and squeeze you in for the way there but they way back could be an issue I've been informed by the in laws that I need to leave a lot of room in the suitcase as they have stored all OHs belongings since he moved here and I think they've had enough
    £960/3000 OH BC(68% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £960/31010.23 (96.90% paid)
    Mortgage - £163,450.00 (2017 O/P £1213.91) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £14789.69/14,539.71Make £10 Apr £194.58 Make £10 May £159.75 Make £10 June £245.11
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 20th Apr 17, 5:35 PM
    • 10,623 Posts
    • 68,479 Thanks
    Bobarella
    How annoying about the wages thing! Late wages are guaranteed to make you popular
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £54.82 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1855 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 20th Apr 17, 9:34 PM
    • 3,875 Posts
    • 27,190 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Hey again
    You do know that it's absolutely ok to feel cr a ppy some days, don't you? If you're going to feel bad about feeling bad then you're going to get stuck in a rut. That's some pressure that's been put on you re the wages. I would explain it in the same way you explained it to us. If it's never been a problem in the past and they've not said otherwise this month then not your problem. Hope you don't get too much aggro about it.
    Have you googled 'unhelpful thinking styles'? Should and must thinking is on there you know.
    Please remember you're a fabulous woman who just isn't on top form at this precise moment. Ride through it - you will appreciate the good times more for experiencing the tough days.
    NST June#24 NSD 8/15 RYSAW17 #1 £412.74 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
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