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  • FIRST POST
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 6th Jun 15, 9:34 PM
    • 956Posts
    • 3,382Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Need to get a grip and stop keeping up with the Joneses....
    • #1
    • 6th Jun 15, 9:34 PM
    Need to get a grip and stop keeping up with the Joneses.... 6th Jun 15 at 9:34 PM
    Hi,
    I have been a member under a different name for many years and have intermittently had various levels of debt - sometimes a lot, sometimes a little.
    I divorced in 2011 and 2 years ago started a new relationship with someone that makes me very happy but earns almost double what I earn. He's a lovely, generous person but is also not particularly careful with money. We don't live together (we both own our own homes with mortgages) but spend at least 3 nights a week under the same roof. This works for us and is unlikely to change in the foreseeable future.


    I work full time and earn a fairly good salary but have seemingly gone bonkers when it comes to spending in the last two years.....
    I think its mainly subconsciously to keep up with my partner although he has never asked for anything and doesn't expect this. In the past I've been the person earning most in my relationships and the fact that this isn't the case anymore seems to bother me more than it should - although I have only just realised this! I also underwent a dramatic career change around 6 years ago and took a salary cut of around 40% at the time although this has improved somewhat now as I have worked my way up in my new profession quite quickly. On paper I am a fairly intelligent person with a PhD but obviously often lack common sense! I should know better!


    I can still manage repayments and there's a good chunk of cash left after bills etc are paid each month but that seems to disappear into the ether somehow. This can't continue as I'll end up in real trouble.
    So, the time has come to get a grip and put a stop to it.....


    Welcome to my new diary attempting to get back to a sane level of spending before its too late.....
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 06-06-2015 at 9:38 PM.
Page 75
    • arsenalbarnie
    • By arsenalbarnie 22nd Feb 17, 8:25 AM
    • 247 Posts
    • 1,377 Thanks
    arsenalbarnie
    Hello MT am a long time lurker on your diary. You work so hard you make me feel knackered lol. Re your ear problem do you make sure you don't get water and shampoo in them? I suffer terribly from itchy 'wet' ears which can lead to painful ear infections. I finally saw an ENT consultant and he said cotton wool with Vaseline on as ear plugs when showering to keep the ear canals dry. I am even back swimming again with ear plugs from Home B*rgains that you chuck away each time. Have been ok now for 18 months. Also one cetirizine anti histamine daily stops any itching. When they do itch I have to put in Betnovate scalp lotion drops in and this stops the itching after about two doses. I keep a bottle in the fridge all the time and he told me to ignore the 28 day use by as it will last for 5 months. Hope that is of some use to you.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 22nd Feb 17, 8:27 AM
    • 956 Posts
    • 3,382 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Morning all. Had a restless night - I have some things on my mind that seem ok in the day but are magnified at night that kept me awake. At least I didn't have to get up at 5.30 so managed a couple of hours that I usually wouldn't get. No matter - it's another day now so up and at 'em

    It's wet and windy here so I'm glad I've planned a work day - will try to get at least 5 hours of work out of the way.
    Need to stick to the slimming world diet too - was really good yesterday and would like to do as well today to at least get a good few days under my belt and start to see a difference in terms of bloating etc.

    Quick list to keep me focused.....
    Walk dog x3 (won't be fun in the rain)
    All work admin done
    Prep for meeting next week
    Lesson planning for next week
    Start controlled assessment moderation
    Check shopping list
    Have sun bed
    Check cinema listings - might go this evening using free tickets to break the day up
    Cook something using ingredients in the cupboard/fridge that suits the diet
    Maybe start sorting through the wardrobe

    That's plenty for today I think - right, better brave the weather and get the first dog walk done.....
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 22-02-2017 at 8:29 AM.
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 22nd Feb 17, 4:36 PM
    • 956 Posts
    • 3,382 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Hello MT am a long time lurker on your diary. You work so hard you make me feel knackered lol. Re your ear problem do you make sure you don't get water and shampoo in them? I suffer terribly from itchy 'wet' ears which can lead to painful ear infections. I finally saw an ENT consultant and he said cotton wool with Vaseline on as ear plugs when showering to keep the ear canals dry. I am even back swimming again with ear plugs from Home B*rgains that you chuck away each time. Have been ok now for 18 months. Also one cetirizine anti histamine daily stops any itching. When they do itch I have to put in Betnovate scalp lotion drops in and this stops the itching after about two doses. I keep a bottle in the fridge all the time and he told me to ignore the 28 day use by as it will last for 5 months. Hope that is of some use to you.
    Originally posted by arsenalbarnie
    Thank you arsenal I have some betnovate lotion, after I've finished the antibiotics I'll give it a try. Drives you mad doesn't it?


    Have had a productive day work wise - about 6 hours worth done, all admin, meeting planning and lesson planning finished for next week. Have also taken the dog for two good long walks, nice to get some fresh air after sitting down all day.
    A chap also popped round to quote for the fascia boards - will think about it - it's a lot of money but cheaper than I've previously been quoted.
    Have looked at the cinema listings and the only one that might grab me at a reasonable time is Hidden Figures. Saw the trailer recently and it looked quite good. Will see how I feel after tea. I have free tickets so it wouldn't cost anything, just the price of a drink whilst there.
    Not really in a cooking mood so think I'll have a jacket spud with beans and cheese - fits in with the diet.

    I'm having my hair done tomorrow - cut and colour - and have an appointment at the salon next door to get my eyebrows tidied straight afterwards so I'll look much better then. I feel like a right state - hate having grey roots and a straggly fringe...... This time tomorrow I'll be a new woman

    Right, better have a quick tidy round and feed the dog.....might pop back later x
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 23rd Feb 17, 5:03 PM
    • 3,879 Posts
    • 27,219 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Nice to see you back again MT, and enjoying some time off during half term. Not too much school work I hope.
    NST June#24 NSD 8/15 RYSAW17 #1 £412.74 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 23rd Feb 17, 7:07 PM
    • 956 Posts
    • 3,382 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Thanks Cat - did a full day of work yesterday but none today. Will have to do a bit tomorrow to give me a day off at the weekend. Hope things are ok with you, not had a chance to catch up with your diary yet.

    So today I've had my hair cut and coloured and my eyebrows sorted - look much better now. I did go to the cinema last night to watch Hidden Figures - wasn't sure it would be my sort of thing but it's excellent - really inspiring. It's funny that the two movies I've seen this week ( T2 Trainspotting and Hidden Figures) have both affected me in different ways. I'm going through some issues yet again with OH (think this will be the end, I've lost all patience now) and in a way these two films have made me reflect on things - Trainspotting made me remember my youth when I was bold and brave and took on the world and Hidden Figures made me think about how lucky I am and that a woman doesn't need the validation of a man. Both timely, as I think it's time to move on. Quite profound for me but I don't feel too worried about being alone now.
    I've had enough of tiptoeing around him and it being one sided at times with me making all of the effort. I'm 45, a grown woman, educated, solvent and not too decrepit yet - I can do it alone. To be honest, at times I feel very alone anyway.
    The only fly in the ointment is that we work together - will have to consider my options there if this is the end. I'm a science teacher so theoretically in demand but I'm not going to make any knee jerk decisions. When I go back to work next week it's only a 5 week half term then a two week Easter break - I'll plod on and see how it pans out.

    Anyway, enough of that.....
    Have stuck to the diet well this week but have succumbed to some wine this evening - I'm annoyed, angry and hurt so am cutting myself some slack. But, I have walked the dog for 45 mins in attrocious conditions today and done 45 mins of dancing to some old school tunes to cheer myself up - glad nobody could see me, I looked like a loon! Bring on the men in white coats....

    I have my groupon massage booked for 11am tomorrow so I have something to look forward to - will then pop to the supermarket (have made it to Friday by using up bits in the cupboards) and do some work. If the weather is better on the weekend I'd like to drive to North Wales and walk along the coastal path with the dog to clear my head and get some perspective and space.

    Better get the dog out for his last walk now the storm has died down.....
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 23-02-2017 at 7:12 PM.
    • Moneywhizz
    • By Moneywhizz 23rd Feb 17, 7:23 PM
    • 116 Posts
    • 445 Thanks
    Moneywhizz
    I follow your diary and have to say that you certainly are well able to go it alone, and who knows what's lurking round the corner! You don't need to put up with someone who doesn't treat you well and seems totally wrapped up in his own needs. If you do continue with your relationship I think you need to make sure it is on your terms and that it is not you making all the effort. Enjoy the rest of the break.
    • triple choc chip
    • By triple choc chip 23rd Feb 17, 8:04 PM
    • 798 Posts
    • 2,779 Thanks
    triple choc chip
    Welcome back and good luck whatever you choose. When things are going well you seem blissfully happy; e.g. the London trip. What a shame he's inconsistent. You're so capable I think the school would grind to a halt if you left! Have a dodgy hug....
    Life's greatest satisfactions: Getting the last laugh, having the last word and paying the last instalment.
    Debt Free since 6.8.13
    Saving for Xmas 2017 #3: £307/£650 47.23%
    Emergency fund £1k - House deposit £28.2k 94%
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 24th Feb 17, 9:39 AM
    • 3,879 Posts
    • 27,219 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Lots of love to you MT. Sorry to hear that OH still hasn't learned his lesson. I think that you've been nothing but accepting and understanding of him for the entire time I've known you.
    We're all here for you, whatever you decide to do.
    NST June#24 NSD 8/15 RYSAW17 #1 £412.74 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • louby40
    • By louby40 11th Mar 17, 9:38 PM
    • 897 Posts
    • 2,449 Thanks
    louby40
    Hope all is well with you.
    Parents£285 DF July 17 Sealed Pot Challenge 10 #572 Debt free by Xmas(july) 17 #32 £3157/£3442
    Car loan £3860. Mortgage £97,373
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 12th Mar 17, 9:23 AM
    • 3,879 Posts
    • 27,219 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Me too MT. I know it's 'that' time of year again so hope that you're doing ok at work. I'm shattered and I'm just a classroom teacher. No head of department or senior management duties to add to it.
    NST June#24 NSD 8/15 RYSAW17 #1 £412.74 20p Savers #88 £1 a day for Xmas # DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447
    • Moneyfordreams
    • By Moneyfordreams 19th Mar 17, 5:54 PM
    • 826 Posts
    • 3,941 Thanks
    Moneyfordreams

    I did go to the cinema last night to watch Hidden Figures - wasn't sure it would be my sort of thing but it's excellent - really inspiring. It's funny that the two movies I've seen this week ( T2 Trainspotting and Hidden Figures) have both affected me in different ways. I'm going through some issues yet again with OH (think this will be the end, I've lost all patience now) and in a way these two films have made me reflect on things - Trainspotting made me remember my youth when I was bold and brave and took on the world and Hidden Figures made me think about how lucky I am and that a woman doesn't need the validation of a man. Both timely, as I think it's time to move on. Quite profound for me but I don't feel too worried about being alone now.
    I've had enough of tiptoeing around him and it being one sided at times with me making all of the effort. I'm 45, a grown woman, educated, solvent and not too decrepit yet - I can do it alone. To be honest, at times I feel very alone anyway.
    The only fly in the ointment is that we work together - will have to consider my options there if this is the end. I'm a science teacher so theoretically in demand but I'm not going to make any knee jerk decisions. When I go back to work next week it's only a 5 week half term then a two week Easter break - I'll plod on and see how it pans out.

    ...
    Originally posted by mumblingtaff
    I don't remember commenting before, although I often make a sentence without posting . Keep believing in yourself and never don't doubt your abilities. you deserve no less than as much commitment as you want
    Mortgage Feb '13 £200000, end 2038. Aiming for before March 2025 (crunched to 2034)
    January 16 £182800 : minimum £360 OP but needs to be £600 to achieve 2025
    Current mortgage £161400
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    • When the going gets tough
    • By When the going gets tough 4th Apr 17, 11:08 PM
    • 561 Posts
    • 1,022 Thanks
    When the going gets tough
    Hi mt hope that you are just busy in the run up to the end of term and are otherwise ok x
    • Swash
    • By Swash 24th May 17, 11:05 PM
    • 105 Posts
    • 233 Thanks
    Swash
    Hope all is well MT x
    "Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles".

    Overpayments: £623.57
    • MeandO
    • By MeandO 6th Jun 17, 12:42 PM
    • 920 Posts
    • 4,754 Thanks
    MeandO
    Hi MT

    Hope all is ok in your world, just a little post to say you are missed.

    Xx
    Debt Free
    Mortgage at 24/11/2016: £97,000
    Mortgage now: £
    79,992.23
    "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage" - Anais Nin
    • Teacher2
    • By Teacher2 14th Jun 17, 10:24 AM
    • 470 Posts
    • 2,373 Thanks
    Teacher2
    Just stumbled onto your thread and read through only to find you haven't posted since the 22nd February. I hope nothing horrible happened. Did it all go OK with the OH? Best wishes anyway.
    Last edited by Teacher2; 21-06-2017 at 8:35 AM.
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