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  • FIRST POST
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 6th Jun 15, 9:34 PM
    • 877Posts
    • 3,168Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Need to get a grip and stop keeping up with the Joneses....
    • #1
    • 6th Jun 15, 9:34 PM
    Need to get a grip and stop keeping up with the Joneses.... 6th Jun 15 at 9:34 PM
    Hi,
    I have been a member under a different name for many years and have intermittently had various levels of debt - sometimes a lot, sometimes a little.
    I divorced in 2011 and 2 years ago started a new relationship with someone that makes me very happy but earns almost double what I earn. He's a lovely, generous person but is also not particularly careful with money. We don't live together (we both own our own homes with mortgages) but spend at least 3 nights a week under the same roof. This works for us and is unlikely to change in the foreseeable future.


    I work full time and earn a fairly good salary but have seemingly gone bonkers when it comes to spending in the last two years.....
    I think its mainly subconsciously to keep up with my partner although he has never asked for anything and doesn't expect this. In the past I've been the person earning most in my relationships and the fact that this isn't the case anymore seems to bother me more than it should - although I have only just realised this! I also underwent a dramatic career change around 6 years ago and took a salary cut of around 40% at the time although this has improved somewhat now as I have worked my way up in my new profession quite quickly. On paper I am a fairly intelligent person with a PhD but obviously often lack common sense! I should know better!


    I can still manage repayments and there's a good chunk of cash left after bills etc are paid each month but that seems to disappear into the ether somehow. This can't continue as I'll end up in real trouble.
    So, the time has come to get a grip and put a stop to it.....


    Welcome to my new diary attempting to get back to a sane level of spending before its too late.....
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 06-06-2015 at 9:38 PM.
Page 67
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 10th Sep 16, 9:07 AM
    • 1,443 Posts
    • 6,817 Thanks
    joeyjimbles
    Glad you're ok and giving yourself some time off as well. What a week you've had!
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 11th Sep 16, 7:33 AM
    • 877 Posts
    • 3,168 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Thanks Joey! Had a complete day off yesterday - the massage centre rang and asked if I could go in an hour early so it threw my plans out a bit and I abandoned the cleaning so that needs doing this morning instead . The massage was really painful but has sorted out parts I didn't even know were a problem - everything just felt better afterwards. I had a deep tissue massage with a new lady who really knew what she was doing, finding all the aching and sore parts and making them better. I'd definitely ask for her again although it certainly wasn't a relaxing experience

    Spent the afternoon and evening with OH, drinking wine, eating and watching the Paralympics - I bloody love it! It's brilliant. So proud of them all - I think it's more inspiring and interesting than the Olympics - maybe it's because I have a disabled sister or because the athletes aren't superstars but I find them all amazing and they put me to shame. Good on them!

    Up early today - I still wake up at 6am latest on the weekends and there's no going back to sleep so have come home to leave him sleep and get stuff done. Today will consist of walking the dog first thing, cleaning the house and getting a load of work done. I also need to get back on the diet band wagon after the wine drinking and do some exercise.
    Will just watch the news headlines and then get to the park.....
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 11th Sep 16, 9:55 AM
    • 877 Posts
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    mumblingtaff
    Dog walked, 100 cals burned.
    House completely cleaned from top to bottom, hoovered, dusted, bathrooms cleaned, kitchen cleaned, bins sorted, wooden floors cleaned and dog bowls cleaned and sterilised. Looks all sparkly and smells fresh now. Always happier when the house is all sorted.

    Going to do some work whilst watching the great north run on the telly - might inspire me to get off my bum later
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 11th Sep 16, 2:10 PM
    • 877 Posts
    • 3,168 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    4 hours of work done and I'm all ready for the week - even marked a set of books, my least favourite part of the job.
    Long day tomorrow - teaching all day, 2 duties and a 2 hour SLT meeting after school so am giving up with work now and having a Sunday afternoon.

    OH is coming over later and I've volunteered to cook tea - yes you've read that right! Me, cooking!
    Going to take the dog for a walk and cut the front lawn then have a soak in the bath. Been very productive today so deserve a bit of a break now.
    Just off to check the bank etc first.....
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 11th Sep 16, 2:18 PM
    • 2,845 Posts
    • 19,187 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    You're just stepping up to cooking as I'm turning into the frozen food queen
    I'm pleased you're making time for yourself too - you're always so busy with work.
    NST Sept #16 NSD 13/14 DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447 Wombling '16 #28 (£634.37) 3-6 month EF #10£1 a day for Christmas 2016 #32
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 14th Sep 16, 5:00 PM
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    • 3,168 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Phew what a scorcher!
    I am boiling - work is almost unbearably hot this week. Managed to escape by 4pm today - it's been 5.30-6 all week so far.
    Have a few things to do work wise tonight and then I'll pop over to see OH for a while.
    Just staggered round the park with the dog - only a little walk, it's too hot for him at the moment. Will go again later when it's cooled down....
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 21st Sep 16, 7:26 PM
    • 417 Posts
    • 1,089 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hope you're ok as you haven't been around for a while.
    Capital one balance to clear by 31st December 2016 £895/£1400

    Weight to lose by 31st October 2016 10bs/14lbs ( to weigh 10 stone 10lbs)
    • louby40
    • By louby40 21st Sep 16, 10:14 PM
    • 461 Posts
    • 1,006 Thanks
    louby40
    It will be the start of the new school year.

    I'm feeling overwhelmed too with school. It takes over my life.,
    Oct 16 - Barclaycard £371 0% First Direct cc £840 0% Parents £2695 = £3906
    Sept 16 - Barclaycard £540 0% First Direct £870 0% Parents £2995 = £4405
    Aug 16 - Barclaycard £668 0% First Direct £900 0% Parents £3295 = £4863
    Car loan £5609 Mortgage £100,497
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 22nd Sep 16, 7:54 PM
    • 2,845 Posts
    • 19,187 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    ^^^ What Louby said.
    Hope you're surviving MT. I'm barely managing...
    NST Sept #16 NSD 13/14 DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447 Wombling '16 #28 (£634.37) 3-6 month EF #10£1 a day for Christmas 2016 #32
    • smallholdingsister
    • By smallholdingsister 23rd Sep 16, 8:11 PM
    • 2,373 Posts
    • 18,573 Thanks
    smallholdingsister
    Me three. Or four?!
    • louby40
    • By louby40 23rd Sep 16, 8:35 PM
    • 461 Posts
    • 1,006 Thanks
    louby40
    It's only a few weeks in and it's crazy! If only people realised. I'm at school 8.30 till 5 everyday. I eat my lunch in 15 minutes. I've moved year groups so more work/pressure.

    Heaven help student teachers and NQTs. I've been teaching 20 yrs and I'm stressed.

    At least minimum spending as no energy to do anything!
    Oct 16 - Barclaycard £371 0% First Direct cc £840 0% Parents £2695 = £3906
    Sept 16 - Barclaycard £540 0% First Direct £870 0% Parents £2995 = £4405
    Aug 16 - Barclaycard £668 0% First Direct £900 0% Parents £3295 = £4863
    Car loan £5609 Mortgage £100,497
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 24th Sep 16, 8:31 AM
    • 877 Posts
    • 3,168 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    I'm back!!!
    Really sorry I haven't been around for a while - life has been mental! Thank you all for the messages - really appreciated

    So what's happened since I last "saw" you.....
    Work has been bonkers - in at 7, home at about 5.30-6 and a few hours more work most evenings. To add to the general mayhem, a taxi driver hit my parked car last weekend (I saw it all and got details etc and he's admitted fault) and it's been a hassle sorting out the insurance and repairs etc - the car is drivable and is being picked up on Tuesday by the garage and I'm getting a hire car to replace it whilst it's fixed.
    Then on Wednesday the boiler packed up and I've had no hot water since, and no time for an engineer to come to fix it. He's coming this morning between 8am and 1pm - hopefully it's not something big, the pilot light won't stay lit..... I've been sleeping at OHs (who's still being really good) so I can use his bathroom - means getting up at 5.30 every day to shower, walk the dog and get to work by 7am. Have been knackered all week.
    Thursday night was open evening at school so I ended up being there until 9pm - went well but was a very long day and night.
    By the time Friday evening came I had completely run out of steam and was in bed asleep by 10pm with OH and the dog - got up at 6.30 to get home and get the dog walked before waiting in for the heating engineer.

    In addition to all that, I've noticed a change in one of my breasts and so a mad dash to to the doctor who was great (used to work in the breast clinic) and I'm having a mammogram and ultrasound on Monday morning. He was very doubtful that it's anything serious but has sent me to the hospital just to be on the safe side - fingers crossed. I was pleasantly surprised about how quickly the appointment was arranged - just a week to wait. We moan about doctors but mine has always been really good. Very grateful to him for being so professional, swift and understanding. Nice man.

    To top it all, my technician had a complete breakdown during the week and resigned in floods of tears and I was really worried about him - sent him home for 3 days to rest and spoke to him yesterday and he seems a lot more stable but I think he has clinical depression (lots of the classic symptoms) - he's still resigning but at least he's feeling a tiny bit better in himself. So, the department has been without a technician and in a practical subject thats a big deal.
    My second in command is being as useless as usual but the rest of the team have rallied round and we've muddied through - open evening prep was interesting to say the least but we pulled it off somehow.

    On the plus side, I've done nothing except work so haven't really spent anything much - I didn't even do a grocery shop last week, just managed on a few bits from the local shop and what was already in. Need to do a big shop today now - will go after the boiler is hopefully fixed.

    Lots of work to do this weekend - might do some today but have put tomorrow aside as OH is visiting his son at uni and I'll have the day to myself.

    Will potter round and do the cleaning and laundry etc this morning while waiting in - have already cleaned the wooden floors, sorted the bins and cleaned the kitchen and taken the dog for a 30 min walk - it's quite chilly this morning

    Oh, and at some point I might have a long soak in the bath if he can fix the hot water.......
    Last edited by mumblingtaff; 24-09-2016 at 8:33 AM.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 24th Sep 16, 9:00 AM
    • 417 Posts
    • 1,089 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Wow! Sounds like you have had a real tough time. Really hope it all improves and glad they have sent you quickly to the hospital but fingers crossed it's all ok. Glad OH is still being good. Hope you manage to have some you time!
    Capital one balance to clear by 31st December 2016 £895/£1400

    Weight to lose by 31st October 2016 10bs/14lbs ( to weigh 10 stone 10lbs)
    • crazy_cat_lady
    • By crazy_cat_lady 24th Sep 16, 9:01 AM
    • 2,845 Posts
    • 19,187 Thanks
    crazy_cat_lady
    Wow, your life has been utterly mental!
    Everything crossed that things are ok on Monday - how good that your doctor was so on the ball helping you to get sorted out.
    I feel your pain with the technician situation. Ours was off sick this week - and we were without a permanent technician for over a year last year...
    NST Sept #16 NSD 13/14 DFD 6 Nov 15 - paid £28,447 Wombling '16 #28 (£634.37) 3-6 month EF #10£1 a day for Christmas 2016 #32
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 24th Sep 16, 1:02 PM
    • 877 Posts
    • 3,168 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Thanks debt and cat! It has been a very trying week but it's Saturday now - new start and all that.....

    Gas man came about 10.30 and fixed it within half an hour so only had to pay £79 thankfully. It was a broken board so nothing I could do about it. He was a really pleasant man and did a good job, trying really hard to do it quickly so I didn't have to go into the next payment tier. There are nice people in the world

    Have cleaned the house and been to tesco where I went a bit mad and spent £90 but that did include a stock up on loads of household things, a book and toiletries including a £10 moisturiser that's almost run out and hair dye on offer so I'm ok with that. Plenty of easy quick vaguely healthy food for the week too so I'll be able to eat when I get home from work tired.

    Just needed a day off getting things straight at my own pace - feel in control again now. It was all a bit manic.....

    Think I'll have a little watch of some recorded TV whilst eating lunch (baked Camembert and nice seeded bread) then take the dog for a good walk round the water park for some fresh air to blow away the cobwebs. Then a good soak in the bath with my new book.
    No work today - have decided to completely ignore it and have a sorely needed complete day off. So there!!
    • triple choc chip
    • By triple choc chip 24th Sep 16, 1:53 PM
    • 723 Posts
    • 2,467 Thanks
    triple choc chip
    Good for you, enjoy the rest, I'm exhausted just reading about your week!
    I'm currently trying to find the inclination to mow both lawns before the rain starts that's forecast this evening but as I'm on here it isn't happening yet.....
    Life's greatest satisfactions: Getting the last laugh, having the last word and paying the last instalment.
    Debt Free since 6.8.13
    Saving for Xmas 2016 #3: £610/£732 83.33%
    #3 £2 Savings Club £116/£150 - Emergency fund £1.2k - House deposit £19.6k
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 24th Sep 16, 2:39 PM
    • 1,443 Posts
    • 6,817 Thanks
    joeyjimbles
    What a week - and I think you've done the right thing today (not that you need my permission or approval in the slightest!) in giving yourself time off. As well as all the work you've had on this week, the boiler and the healthscare all take a toll. Rest and recuperation is a great antidote.
    • smallholdingsister
    • By smallholdingsister 24th Sep 16, 5:52 PM
    • 2,373 Posts
    • 18,573 Thanks
    smallholdingsister
    Fingers crossed it is all fine.
    Technicians!
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 24th Sep 16, 10:05 PM
    • 7,119 Posts
    • 46,418 Thanks
    Bobarella
    God what a week! Must have been very scary finding a lump. Glad you could stay with your OH. No water for so long isn't fun. Next week must be better surely???
    £1025 to pay =62% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 October £0.00 2016-£39.59 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £1029.57 2015 £1027.20
    NST October
    PAYDBX #7 £1665.46/£2,700 (62%)
    GC October 0/£300
    • mumblingtaff
    • By mumblingtaff 25th Sep 16, 8:39 AM
    • 877 Posts
    • 3,168 Thanks
    mumblingtaff
    Thanks all - as Bob says things can only get better!

    Another busy week in store but the day off yesterday helped massively. I feel rested and ready to tackle a mountain of work today. Stayed at OHs last night - had some nice tea (cooked by me!) and a couple of glasses of wine and a nice "early night"
    Just home - going to walk the dog in the rain, have a bath and then crack on with some work.

    I also need to do a bit of personal grooming - my nails and eyebrows are a state and I could do with a face mask and scrub. A bit of me time is needed.

    Trying to summon the urge to go trekking in the rain.....
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