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    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 25th May 15, 7:13 PM
    • 700Posts
    • 1,889Thanks
    safehouse
    one day at a time
    • #1
    • 25th May 15, 7:13 PM
    one day at a time 25th May 15 at 7:13 PM
    I am a 48 year old mother of one DS, I have a mortgage of 100,000 on my little bungalow and a few other debts CC etc of approx 5,000 or less..................
    We have a wonderful DS. We have a quite successful business (for now anyway)………
    My OH is a functioning alcoholic, (there I said it), too look at him you would never know, and probably never believe it. When sober there isn't a better man walking, he is a hard worker, kind, considerate and a fantastic father. When he drinks, which is most evenings he can be all of the opposite. Don't get me wrong we do sometimes still have good days, especially when OH is on the wagon, but many more bad than good....
    I have been trying now for years to help my OH with his problem, his health has suffered but he refuses to stop. Xmas 2015 gave me the strength to take a massive step backwards, I am exhausted with it him mentally and physically, not to mention the affect this was having on my DS.
    OH can only help himself, it is not my duty and it has taken me a long time for me to accept this, but I finally have................I am now putting myself and my rock my DS first.
    Future protection in mind, I have been saving without his knowledge now for roughly 10 years scrimping with the intention of paying off our mortgage "My life the last 10 years have given me a terrible fear of being homeless to the point of constant nightmares".....To my amazement I have managed to secretly save £63,550 to date....(69,140 updated 19th November 2016)
    These are my reasons for wanting to pay my mortgage off as quickly as possible, I have no idea how long my OH will manage to carryon working or how much longer before our little business will crumble or how long the relationship will take the strain, I just know by focusing on saving for our future and my little house I get back a sense of control which helps get me through each week.
    I also have a diary to help keep me in check when tempted to spend and a place to throw out my emotions when I feel like I am falling backwards…………………


    DS 270…. CC 3,950 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£63,550/72,420 paid £36,450/27,580 remaining….Xmas Hols £0
    Last edited by safehouse; 03-05-2017 at 8:33 PM.
Page 44
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 9th Apr 17, 6:24 PM
    • 10,465 Posts
    • 69,321 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hope you are ok Safehouse. Thinking of you.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 17th Apr 17, 11:15 AM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Thanks everyone.....its good to have somewhere to throw out all my personal cr*p...I must sound like a broken record xx
    Struggling through this long Easter weekend and thankful it is soon to come to an end....OH likes the bank holidays for obvious reasons.... it gives him an excuse for the usual, not that he needs one...for me I hate and I agree hate is a strong word but I do absolutely hate any Bank holiday, or any time off work for OH truth be told.....sad but true. The next Bank holiday weekend I have decided to book a weekend away for myself and DS thinking it is 1st May?...will check today.
    A massive £420 into the mortgage pot giving me close on 72k towards my mortgage ..... Also DS opened a first time buyers account new government scheme giving first time buyers cash towards there first property of up to 3k allowed to save approx 12k deposit but if DS bought my house in his name with the remaining saved into this account, then this would give us an extra chunk off the house (Not exactly clued up and need to look further into how it works, but worth some investigation).
    Bought some curtains from carbooty yesterday only £10 sold very similar pair on Teabay for £70 recently so have listed them for £65 .
    Right then time to take my little doggy for a nice walk and hope OH stays in bed until tomorrow please HaHa
    really not joking ....
    Happy Easter everyone and hope you are all having a lovely weekend xx



    CC 1,600 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£71,900 paid £28,100 left to save
    • TallGirl
    • By TallGirl 18th Apr 17, 10:17 AM
    • 4,111 Posts
    • 8,538 Thanks
    TallGirl
    Sorry to hear that but so glad you're going to book some time away definitely deserve that its then up to him to enjoy himself how he likes to without it impacting on you and DS.
    Save £12k in 17 no 93
    £5750/£12k
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 19th Apr 17, 6:17 PM
    • 8,083 Posts
    • 44,589 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Hope things have settled a bit again Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in August- 1/5
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 19th Apr 17, 6:31 PM
    • 10,465 Posts
    • 69,321 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Hope you managed to get through bank holiday Safehouse.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 20th Apr 17, 5:26 PM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Thanks Guys....Things have settled again for now.....not expecting a miracle but will definitely be enjoying this evening as OH has gone to Manchester and wont be back till very late Whoo Hoo I am loving every minute....
    Curtains sold for £55 best offer only paid £10 so approx £30 profit after postage and fees paid straight into mortgage .


    CC 1,600 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£71,930 paid £28,070 left to save
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 20th Apr 17, 5:29 PM
    • 10,465 Posts
    • 69,321 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Glad you have a bit of you time today.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 20th Apr 17, 6:05 PM
    • 8,083 Posts
    • 44,589 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Have a lovely evening Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in August- 1/5
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 21st Apr 17, 3:59 PM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Thank you, I had a wonderful evening.... feeling very chilled today... .

    Managed to save £80 for mortgage this week by sticking to a frugal week.... no silly spends and food shop kept to essentials only.....hoping to save a larger chunk next week fingers crossed .
    Full house clean this morning including all windows plus frame work inside and out....hate cleaning windows but get paid quite a lot extra and sun was shining so not to bad. Then popped round DMamas and gave her little flat a good clean along with more windows and fridge....have no energy left to do my own house
    Still trying to reduce garden rubbish ...mainly breaking up old fencing 1-2 bags a day but rubbish guys are not happy to take broken fencing using the brown bins....branches yes but wood from my old fencing no...........so need to ring my local council, trying to avoid paying rubbish removal...certainly wont be cheap
    I hear Tetley calling



    CC 1,600 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£72,010 paid £27,990 left to save
    • PurpleFairy26
    • By PurpleFairy26 21st Apr 17, 10:06 PM
    • 1,775 Posts
    • 11,977 Thanks
    PurpleFairy26
    Can you not offer the fencing for free on local Facebook. Maybe someone who has a wood burner? Free takeaway
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 25th Apr 17, 6:50 PM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Far to old and rotten fairy....nobody will want it, looks like I will be having to burn it only hope neighbors are OK....they do like a good moan Lol x
    Invoices all paid in full today, business and house hold direct debits paid till end April ...haven't done food shop yet but have put £40 aside and finally best till last a massive £210 left to throw at my mortgage ......


    CC 1,600 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£72,220 paid £27,780 left to save
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 4th May 17, 3:13 PM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Busy week with lots of overtime at work giving me an extra £200 to throw at my mortgage savings today .
    Bad news yesterday regarding a very profitable job booked in for 2 weeks only to be cancelled by customer one day before work was due to commence today .....let down badly by this customer and at such short notice, meaning very little time to cancel materials ordered for the work.... some people
    Overspend on food shop last week of £90 normally try to stick around the £40-£50 mark so absolutely no food shop this week ....
    Received £45 toppycashback on my pet insurance this week very nice surprise.
    Secret from OH .....I have booked a week abroad for myself and DS for the week before Xmas this year ....actually return Christmas Eve ....not really sure if I have done the right thing as you all know Xmas time at home is never a good thing for us, but at a cost of £130 each with cash back never had a bargain like it....the flights alone only cost £59 each ....not looking forward to telling OH but months away so a secret it shall stay Lol
    Oh well, sun is shining and my very spoiled little doggy is in need of attention and a long, long walk


    CC 1,600 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£72,420 paid £27,580 left to save
    Last edited by safehouse; 04-05-2017 at 3:16 PM.
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 5th May 17, 7:42 PM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Day off work today and not sure if the week has just crept up on me but felt really tired all day absolutely no energy and just been sitting on my back side all day lazy, lazy, lazy... Done nothing not a thing?.
    Fell asleep and woke up with a stiff neck, cushion marks engraved into my face and my hair bobble had fell out.........looked a total mess , could scare off burglars truly
    Also feeling guilty at eating almost half big packet of choc digestives and now feeling slightly sick at the thought to be honest .
    I did list one item on Teabay to sell .....does that count as being productive in any way?
    Received £80 in overtime and paid straight into mortgage this morning.... cant wait to get to below the 20k figure........
    Wonder if a tenth cup of tea of the day might liven me up for the evening Lol x


    CC 1,600 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£72,500 paid £27,500 left to save
    Last edited by safehouse; 05-05-2017 at 7:51 PM.
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 5th May 17, 9:04 PM
    • 10,465 Posts
    • 69,321 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Really sorry to hear about the job being cancelled. Will you get anything at all?
    I now tell people that if they book and pay a deposit, that's gone if they cancel. Plus if it's a simple case of venue use on that date I'd expect the money for that too as I can't resell at short notice. It's the same for your husband at the end of the day. He probably won't pick up work for that time now as it will be too short notice so why shouldn't he charge?
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 7th May 17, 10:07 AM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Sooooo very true Bobs but getting payment is not that easy.......re-stocking charge from the customer for materials bought in advance from merchants is about the best we can expect/hope for and even that sometimes is a massive challenge but you have a point regarding loss of earnings charge...need to think on that! oh well you live and learn x
    Last edited by safehouse; 07-05-2017 at 6:07 PM.
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 9th May 17, 3:54 PM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    business seems to have gone very quiet all of a sudden, plenty of quotes have been sent out, but not many getting accepted......worrying, maybe we need to reduce our prices for a little while?
    Still plenty of overtime to be had with my job and DD are paid up ...........thank goodness I have been paying more cash into household account whilst having good cash flow weeks of late.
    Have sold a few items on teabay giving me approx £30 after deductions.
    Also paid £230 into mortgage account....but now thinking I have got far to ambitious in how much I can save this week..............Yep probably will need to raid some cash back for food and essentials before the end of the week .
    Still feeling very tired "have been for some weeks" cant seem to summon the energy to do much at all lately....which is not like me at all?....also very grumpy, short tempered and getting on my own nerves, wondering if it might be down to the dreaded menopause .....I am at that age....Hmm maybe a trip to the docs is needed, one minute I can be like this scary , then like this and then like this ....... really not joking I am an nightmare.....
    Right then I am going to push myself into taking my lovely doggy for a walk, she looks how I feel .....anyway fresh air might brighten both of our moods........


    CC 1,600 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£72,500 paid £27,730 left to save
    Last edited by safehouse; 10-05-2017 at 9:15 PM.
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 13th May 17, 5:32 PM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Suffering with virus for 3 days feeling so shivery, weak and breathless....did feel a little better this morning but energy levels are at 0 , there I was blaming the menopause.
    slipped up and reverted back to my old naughty ways the other night ....thought I would do shopping on-line Asdy and Iceyland spend of almost £100 (must say when delivered looked more like a £50 shop....sticking with Aldy from now) .....very annoyed with myself, just shows how just how easy it to fall back into those bad habits.
    Selling on Teabay going quite well have approx £60 in my Paypal ....not sure what to do with it yet, maybe keep saving for my secret Hol Lol
    Work still very slow ....have 4 estimates to get out tonight and then hope for the phone to ring......strange how things have come to a worrying standstill, self employment hand in hand with famine or feast
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 15th May 17, 9:46 PM
    • 10,465 Posts
    • 69,321 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Business is like that though isn't it. Surely just a blip?

    I had two weeks back end of April where I was booking nothing. Enquiries coming in but nothing converting. Since May started it has been insane. Viewings, bookings, work, enquiries. Not enough hours in the day. But from my days as a shop keeper, the old saying goes ' your only as happy as your last days takings' very true for SE overall.

    I would hold off pushing your prices down at any rate. Sorry your not feeling well.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 19th May 17, 7:58 AM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    As always thanks for the encouragement Bobs I like the word blip, will be using that alot! ......
    Thing is after 30 years of self employment we have been very spoiled/lucky work wise, I know the sun cant shine every day financially but thinking we have hit a drought. Might just wait things out before reducing prices....after all they were fine before "to be honest the thought of having OH hanging around the house all day with to much time on his hands is playing a major factor towards my worries".....I know I have my job and our savings to fall back on so counting my blessings really xx
    Loving the morning sitting here relaxing, listening to the rain drops (mornings are always my favorite time, wish I could turn the clock back just one hour Lol).
    DS has joined a retail course equivalent to 3 GCSE, his charity work managed to get him on the course for free, will look great on his cv not to mention future benefit.....
    OH is still struggling with usual problem....however positive steps have been made....he is waiting on his GP decision regarding his blood pressure to reduce and then hopefully start a medication which actually helps people with alcohol problems. I dare not get my hopes up but apparently this works by stopping the persons cravings (much like nicotine patches for smokers) ....has an 80% success rate....but not an easy fix and as I said dare not get my hopes up as GP still might not prescribe due to another problem "cost to the NHS" .
    Have changed my tv, phone and internet package ...got a much better deal from Skyy £10 less a month and more tv channels ....oh and can use house line to phone mobiles very happy .
    Also have phoned water to ask that meter to be taken out ....not saving money ....in fact is costing me more and I dare not use my hose-pipe for cleaning conservatory, car, drive.
    Ebay still adding up have approx £80 re-selling bits and bobs for a slight profit bought from carboots.
    Right then need to get showered off into town need a few essentials.....
    Hope everyone has a lovely weekend ....including me Lol Xx
    Last edited by safehouse; 21-05-2017 at 10:09 AM.
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 21st May 17, 10:22 AM
    • 700 Posts
    • 1,889 Thanks
    safehouse
    Off to the carbooty soon armed with my £60 made from Teabay ....now the idea is to buy items as cheaply as possible and re-sell on Teabay. Taking a chance, but I normally have a good eye when it comes to buying and selling........I may be eating my own words this time next week, but thought I would give it a go.
    Found a beautiful lady figure ornament by a good maker on carbooty the other week....paid £2 and it is selling for around £40-£50 on Teabay , thing is I like it to much to sell Lol not great business sense I know.
    Also found 2 large stylish lamp bases cost me £5 for both.....on the look out for shades and then I will see what amount of pennies they bring.
    Here goes ............hope I dont make lots of bad choices and buy aload of trash
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