Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 25th May 15, 7:13 PM
    • 662Posts
    • 1,770Thanks
    safehouse
    one day at a time
    • #1
    • 25th May 15, 7:13 PM
    one day at a time 25th May 15 at 7:13 PM
    I am a 48 year old mother of one DS, I have a mortgage of 100,000 on my little bungalow and a few other debts CC etc of approx 5,000 or less..................
    We have a wonderful DS and quite successful business (for now anyway)………
    My OH is a functioning alcoholic, (there I said it), too look at him you would never know, and probably never believe it. When sober there isn't a better man walking, he is a hard worker, kind, considerate and a fantastic father. When he drinks, which is most evenings he can be all of the opposite. Don't get me wrong we do sometimes still have good days, especially when OH is on the wagon, but many more bad than good....
    I have been trying now for years to help my OH with his problem, his health has suffered but he refuses to stop. Xmas 2015 gave me the strength to take a massive step backwards, I am exhausted with it him mentally and physically, not to mention the affect this was having on my DS.
    OH can only help himself, it is not my duty and it has taken me a long time for me to accept this, but I finally have................I am now putting myself and my rock my DS first.
    Future protection in mind, I have been saving without his knowledge now for roughly 10 years scrimping with the intention of paying off our mortgage "My life the last 10 years have given me a terrible fear of being homeless to the point of constant nightmares".....To my amazement I have managed to secretly save £63,550 to date....(69,140 updated 19th November 2016)
    These are my reasons for wanting to pay my mortgage off as quickly as possible, I have no idea how long my OH will manage to carryon working or how much longer before our little business will crumble or how long the relationship will take the strain, I just know by focusing on saving for our future and my little house I get back a sense of control which helps get me through each week.
    I also have a diary to help keep me in check when tempted to spend and a place to throw out my emotions when I feel like I am falling backwards…………………


    DS 270…. CC 3,950 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£63,550/70,410 paid £36,450/29,590 remaining….Xmas Hols £40.00
    Last edited by safehouse; 19-12-2016 at 6:26 PM.
Page 43
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 16th Mar 17, 7:29 AM
    • 662 Posts
    • 1,770 Thanks
    safehouse
    Haven't slept to well last night ................day ended badly yesterday with a visit from one of OH deluded relatives who brought him a bottle of vodka as a gift in the process . I feel as though I am battling on more than one front, it can be soooooo draining ............ I told this same person the full extent of the situation regarding OH drink/health problems around a year back and at the time they acted all concerned and supportive....then they do this?....I sometimes feel like I am going mad...is it me? am I over reacting? all these questions spinning around in my head its just cruel
    My instincts are the idea was to use him to hurt me and it worked because it did hurt.
    Today I am not going to dwell on the situation, some people are just cruel and vindictive . I have told OH I do not want this person in my home anymore, if he needs to see them he can visit by driving to their house ( removing toxic people like that from my life is the best thing I can do). Poured bottle down the toilet but kick in the stomach all the same, (I could write a book, really I could, probably turn out to be a best seller Lol ).
    Anyway back to brighter things, meeting my beautiful DMammy this morning , she always has a way of lifting my day .
    Another busy day planned....flea market today so will be on the look out for some cheap tins of emulsion and then work till 3, finally get on with my decorating, hope to finish my hallway...best to keep active.
    Oh well sounded off once again Thankyou Diary.........sorry people, I know I am playing a stuck record xx
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 16th Mar 17, 8:13 AM
    • 10,103 Posts
    • 64,617 Thanks
    Bobarella
    How utterly horrible. That is very strange behaviour indeed. I'm glad you were able to get rid of the drink without it turning into fireworks with DH.
    £378 Debt free by 31/03/17 or bust
    Roadkill 17 £51.30 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1410.90 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    PAYDBX 7 #£397/£760 to go!!
    NST March1 4/15
    • maddiemay
    • By maddiemay 16th Mar 17, 8:14 AM
    • 2,827 Posts
    • 24,004 Thanks
    maddiemay
    Oooodles of virtual hugs, sorry to read and run.
    MM xxx
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 17th Mar 17, 7:45 AM
    • 662 Posts
    • 1,770 Thanks
    safehouse
    Thanks Guys............actually feeling brighter this morning .
    The full episode seemed to back fire on this person and OH reaction was totally unexpected by myself, he was so disgusted he rang his mother and asked all his family to not bring spirits/alcohol to our home, he told them his health is not great and how he is wanting to start the gym. He also told them how much support he is getting from me and just how much he appreciates it....................on the whole he shamed them all (must say today at least I am proud of OH....a very rare and welcome glimpse of the man I met).
    Hallway finished and looking very nice, did run out of beige so had to incorporate a cream leftover paint on one wall, but actually fits well in a funny sort of way
    Made a £60 purchase Argosy yesterday power washer with all attachments for cleaning car, driveway, conservatory...........have worked out will make a massive saving doing all these jobs ourselves and will save money in the long run, used topcashy so £5 savings to boot.
    Still not done a food shop and fridge looking very empty..........chest freezer still more than half full, wonder if I might get by another week on an essentials only shop ..feeling confident ....
    Time goes far to quickly during the early mornings so need to get my skates on....Mrs Mop here I come Lol xx
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 17th Mar 17, 7:52 AM
    • 10,103 Posts
    • 64,617 Thanks
    Bobarella
    That's amazing. How good to be supported for once!

    I've been trying to stock up. Do you actively do so being self employed?
    £378 Debt free by 31/03/17 or bust
    Roadkill 17 £51.30 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1410.90 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    PAYDBX 7 #£397/£760 to go!!
    NST March1 4/15
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 18th Mar 17, 8:08 AM
    • 662 Posts
    • 1,770 Thanks
    safehouse
    Oh Yes Bobs, keep at it....being self employed always brings its quiet weeks/months with the telephone suddenly going silent,. When finances are good I will stock up on all sorts of levels ....starting with bumbing up the household bank account finances so I am a few weeks/months ahead with DD to bumping up my chest freezer by buying extra food. During our fruitful weeks I even stock up on cleaning products/ shampoo's, doggy products......should really have one of those food stock cupboards like they do on those extreme coupon program, sounds sad but would make my day...I would love one Lol . I often go to multiple supermarkets late in the day when they are more likely to reduce, who cares if your tin of peas have a dent?.....we have to do what we can Bobs....funny thing with me is I enjoy the challenge xx
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 18th Mar 17, 11:03 AM
    • 7,802 Posts
    • 42,711 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Sorry to hear about the deluded relative, but yay for OH doing the decent thing for once. There's hope yet!

    I would also LOVE a stock pile a'la Extreeme Couponing! Devine! Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in March - 0/5
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 18th Mar 17, 2:13 PM
    • 10,103 Posts
    • 64,617 Thanks
    Bobarella
    All good advice. I feel like I'm only just getting the SE mindset. And it's been 5 years!!!!
    £378 Debt free by 31/03/17 or bust
    Roadkill 17 £51.30 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1410.90 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    PAYDBX 7 #£397/£760 to go!!
    NST March1 4/15
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 20th Mar 17, 7:50 AM
    • 662 Posts
    • 1,770 Thanks
    safehouse
    Very proud of myself....Paid £300 off CC (mortgage raided again) this morning. Remaining £600 Balance transferred to another CC as my interest free is almost up ......................Hoping to be finally debt free by June or July fingers crossed .
    DD for household paid up for March, April and £50 for May best for a long time.
    No big food shop as yet..........using freezer stock and will try getting by with essentials for the next few days.
    Bargain day yesterday and superwoman had lots of energy (not sure where it came from Lol)....up early and an hour of ironing, then off to carbooty, walked around twice ....found new hose pipe connections for outside tap, desperately needed and at a cost of only 50p each happy days.
    Fruit and veg stall 2 big backs of fresh mushrooms, two boxes of raspberry's and box of plums all for £2.50 Wow.
    Then called in Dunhelmy and found some beautiful heavy lined curtains reduced from £94 to only £27.....bigger purchase I know but heck of a bargain.
    called in TKmaxxy and Nexty sales managed to spend £0
    but naughty spend of £6 mcdunalds and £4 on sugary products inc chocolate fudge cake, had DS with me say no more!
    Finally called in asdy and left with 7 curry dishes (all freezable) good size for 2 people reduced at last minute from 2.50 to only 70p a dish.......great thing is can add extra chicken and my bulk of mushrooms and instant meal for 3 also handy for when I am in a rush....which is nearly always Lol.
    Got home around 4 and mowed the front lawn, swept the front and side of house then washed front door and sills............Then quickly cooked up a lovely chicken and garlic stirfry for tea.... finally flopped on the sofa. That was me done didn't move a muscle for the rest of the evening.....Good day in all, even OH on sort of best behavior


    CC B £600/...£600 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£71,640 paid £28,360 remaining
    EF 0
    Last edited by safehouse; 20-03-2017 at 9:02 AM.
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 20th Mar 17, 2:43 PM
    • 10,103 Posts
    • 64,617 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Wow that's so good! Youll be hammering the mortgage down again very soon.
    £378 Debt free by 31/03/17 or bust
    Roadkill 17 £51.30 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1410.90 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    PAYDBX 7 #£397/£760 to go!!
    NST March1 4/15
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 22nd Mar 17, 8:08 AM
    • 662 Posts
    • 1,770 Thanks
    safehouse
    Hoping so Bobs x
    Oh dear....slept in this morning, have busy day as usual only allowed one cup of tea this morning.
    First job is to give my beautiful mammys home a good clean .......then two house deep cleans meaning including windows which I hate..good news should be finished before 3
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,249Posts Today

7,402Users online

Martin's Twitter