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  • FIRST POST
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 25th May 15, 7:13 PM
    • 619Posts
    • 1,596Thanks
    safehouse
    one day at a time
    • #1
    • 25th May 15, 7:13 PM
    one day at a time 25th May 15 at 7:13 PM
    I am a 48 year old mother of one DS, I have a mortgage of 100,000 on my little bungalow and a few other debts CC etc of approx 5,000 or less..................
    We have a wonderful DS and quite successful business (for now anyway)………
    My OH is a functioning alcoholic, (there I said it), too look at him you would never know, and probably never believe it. When sober there isn't a better man walking, he is a hard worker, kind, considerate and a fantastic father. When he drinks, which is most evenings he can be all of the opposite. Don't get me wrong we do sometimes still have good days, especially when OH is on the wagon, but many more bad than good....
    I have been trying now for years to help my OH with his problem, his health has suffered but he refuses to stop. Xmas 2015 gave me the strength to take a massive step backwards, I am exhausted with it him mentally and physically, not to mention the affect this was having on my DS.
    OH can only help himself, it is not my duty and it has taken me a long time for me to accept this, but I finally have................I am now putting myself and my rock my DS first.
    Future protection in mind, I have been saving without his knowledge now for roughly 10 years scrimping with the intention of paying off our mortgage "My life the last 10 years have given me a terrible fear of being homeless to the point of constant nightmares".....To my amazement I have managed to secretly save £63,550 to date....(70,410 updated 15th October 2016)
    These are my reasons for wanting to pay my mortgage off as quickly as possible, I have no idea how long my OH will manage to carryon working or how much longer before our little business will crumble or how long the relationship will take the strain, I just know by focusing on saving for our future and my little house I get back a sense of control which helps get me through each week.
    I also have a diary to help keep me in check when tempted to spend and a place to throw out my emotions when I feel like I am falling backwards…………………


    DS 270…. CC 3,950 …. Mortgage £100,000 /£63,550/70,410 paid £36,450/29,590 remaining….Xmas Hols £40.00
    Last edited by safehouse; 15-10-2016 at 7:24 AM.
Page 36
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 24th Sep 16, 7:46 AM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    No Bobarella, it means he's not been keeping up payment of invoices to suppliers for materials we've needed to complete the work.................."basically he has been wasting the cash given by the customers for the materials instead of paying into the business account and I have a good idea exactly what on"..I've been trying to get my head around the approx amount but because we use quite a few merchants I just have no idea. I guessed at £1,500 but will have to ring them all Monday to get a definite amount owed......................feel like my head is about to blow off this morning. How could I be so stupid again?
    Also work has cut my hours right down to only 10 a week...no overtime.
    Meeting my DMama this morning that should cheer me up.........................so happy I have booked a week away at Xmas ....Cant wait.
    Going to jump in the shower have a nice morning out and pull my mood back into shape............then sit and try and work out a plan of action this afternoon.
    • TallGirl
    • By TallGirl 24th Sep 16, 8:34 AM
    • 3,861 Posts
    • 8,050 Thanks
    TallGirl
    Take care safe house sounds like you do need to keep a close eye on the business something he should be doing himself and yet again something you are "policing". Been there done that got the t-short and don't envy you. I'm glad you do have that break to look forward to but also maybe less work means more time to yourself and time to think and plan what you want for you and your son.
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 24th Sep 16, 10:17 PM
    • 8,032 Posts
    • 51,463 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Oh dear that doesn't sound good. Heck £1500 is an awful lot of booze! What period does that cover?
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £2.08 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,236.99 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 25th Sep 16, 6:01 PM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    Thanks Guys.......exhausted with it all to be honest ...should know more after dreaded phone-calls tomorrow., also living in an ice box at the moment doesn't really help matters

    Have lots to do tomorrow, visit bank at 9am, docs appointment just after 10am, pharmacy then visit DSis .............hope to fit in food shop (determined to keep as low as possible)........and get home before 1pm to make dreaded phone-calls without fainting I hope ....
    Afternoon catching up with ironing and try to list some Teabay items.


    A.. store Card £140 /CC B £740/ CC S £1,600/ CC A £0 PAID....£2,450 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£69,120 paid £30,880 remaining…(**Total 69,120**)........
    • Skinnylatte
    • By Skinnylatte 25th Sep 16, 7:53 PM
    • 1,032 Posts
    • 4,259 Thanks
    Skinnylatte
    Good luck for tomorrow x
    Mortgage @ 12/04/2015 £136121 £129,050.57 5.19% DI £6.90
    Mortgage free day April 2033 March 2033
    Emergency/Offset Account £
    3185/£6000 53%
    CC Balance
    £5,117.76 0% Aug 2017...Planned expense for home improvements (£2881.95 saved £2235.81 to go)
    LBM 02/06/2013 £21595 Debt Free Day 27/03/2015


    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 25th Sep 16, 10:01 PM
    • 8,032 Posts
    • 51,463 Thanks
    Bobarella
    I truly hope things improve for you Safehouse.
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £2.08 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,236.99 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 3rd Oct 16, 7:36 AM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    Wow not updated for a while, had terrible week of allergies, sinus problems and general feeling of being run down....pushed myself into an 6 mile walk yesterday mainly along the sea front, really took in some wonderful views (although legs are aching really enjoyed the day.. mentally I actually felt so much better for it). Plan is to invest in some vitamins today, and try to get my diet/healthy eating back on track this week.....gives me something to do with all this extra time until I find another little job.....
    still haven't a clue how much money OH has managed to squander from the business, to be honest have been putting off finding out the truth....now sitting here this morning and thinking I have to bite the bullet and give them a ring today especially as the invoices are due to be paid very soon and we might not have enough to cover them. Also nightmare job is still ongoing and we are shelling out wages to get it finished as quick as possible, with no return.
    DS starts official first day at Uni on Wed...little annoyed that he forgot to register whilst doing his induction day, which will delay his student finance...........Scatter brain, no organisation but then did I have a care in the world at his age?
    Garden finished looking very bare much like baron waste land........not bothered, as I am thinking of it as a blank canvas, which I can design and work on next year and create something wonderful...I hope Lol
    Mortgage savings will be reduced later when I have a better idea of our financial situation......such a shame when I was in touching distance of 70k and with all my cc reduced so dramatically only a few weeks back.......but feeling more positive this morning ....time to face reality and move forward ( more than anything learn from previous mistakes, never to be repeated)....and Yes OH still has no access to the business account and this is how it will stay......................
    Meeting my beautiful Dmama this morning for a coffee then home to complete the dreaded deed Lol.
    Finally made a start on teabay listings whoo hoo all helps.

    A.. store Card £140 /CC B £740/ CC S £1,600/ CC A £0 PAID....£2,450 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£69,120 paid £30,880 remaining…(**Total 69,120**)........
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 4th Oct 16, 1:35 PM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    Finally spoke to merchants yesterday and almost £600 in the red , might sound silly but I am actually feeling relieved....really thought it was going to be much, much more....OH working every spare minute so that's something.
    Hoping we can play catch up financially with future jobs and by cutting back to the bone, then I wont have to raid my mortgage savings.....(I can live in hope!)............

    A.. store Card £140 /CC B £740/ CC S £1,600/ CC A £500....£2,950 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£69,120 paid £30,880 remaining…(**Total 69,120**)........
    Last edited by safehouse; 04-10-2016 at 2:06 PM.
    • Debtfreemoo
    • By Debtfreemoo 4th Oct 16, 8:40 PM
    • 19 Posts
    • 35 Thanks
    Debtfreemoo
    Hi Safehouse,

    I found your diary a few days ago and have read it from start to now over the last few days. Can't believe how much you've saved, you've done really well and I wish I had 5% of your will power
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 4th Oct 16, 8:55 PM
    • 8,032 Posts
    • 51,463 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Glad the damage wasn't as bad as you feared.
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £2.08 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,236.99 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 5th Oct 16, 3:42 PM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    Thanks Bobarella....still not happy with him.... but could have been so much worse.....Xx

    Wow DFMoo Thanks, I'me not sure it is will power, maybe more like obsession Lol. I do seem to live and breath my mortgage....surprised you managed to read it all without falling asleep, should really write more about my debt free journey instead of my rollercoaster of a life, but good to sound off now and again (which I do quite a lot Lol). lovely to have you tagging along, please keep popping in to say hello Xx

    DS first day a university went badly.....this being his low confidence and the fact that all the other students knew each other as they have already studied together for 2 years, made him feel like an outsider,. I feel so deflated/gutted for him...wanted his first day to go well for him so much, told him early days and tomorrow might be a better day....He sooooo deserves some good times...................
    £600 added to my cc to cover merchant bills, I couldn't bring myself to take from my mortgage savings, anyway the monthly installments will be covered by OH absolutely.... that I will make sure of!!
    Shoes and bag sold on teabay Paid £50 straight into mortgage account today....
    Also DS paid me some money from his university payment Bless..............should be able to throw some at my mortgage by the end of the week.
    Work emailed me yesterday offering a few weeks overtime, told it will be the last of any overtime going till after Xmas....nice surprise cant tun it down...............

    A.. store Card £140 /CC B £740/ CC S £2,200/ CC A £500....£3,550 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£69,170 paid £30,830 remaining…(**Total 69,170**)........
    Last edited by safehouse; 06-10-2016 at 9:46 AM.
    • Skinnylatte
    • By Skinnylatte 6th Oct 16, 7:37 PM
    • 1,032 Posts
    • 4,259 Thanks
    Skinnylatte
    Sorry to hear about DS uni, hopefully he'll settle in fast
    Mortgage @ 12/04/2015 £136121 £129,050.57 5.19% DI £6.90
    Mortgage free day April 2033 March 2033
    Emergency/Offset Account £
    3185/£6000 53%
    CC Balance
    £5,117.76 0% Aug 2017...Planned expense for home improvements (£2881.95 saved £2235.81 to go)
    LBM 02/06/2013 £21595 Debt Free Day 27/03/2015


    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 6th Oct 16, 9:54 PM
    • 8,032 Posts
    • 51,463 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Poor lad. Hope he finds some nice people to hang out with soon.
    £790 to pay =70% repaid
    RR 2016 #2 December £2.08 2016-£55.16 2015- £84.20)
    Wombling Free 2016#5 £2,236.99 2015 £1027.20
    NST December
    PAYDBX #7 £1910.53/£2,700 (70%)
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 7th Oct 16, 6:52 AM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    Thanks Guys..., I worry he might fall back with his mental health problems, but I think I forget how far he has come and how he is so much stronger now...just a tiny set back I hope, early days Xx
    • TallGirl
    • By TallGirl 7th Oct 16, 7:40 AM
    • 3,861 Posts
    • 8,050 Thanks
    TallGirl
    Hope ds settles and your oh behaves himself sounds like he cannot be trusted more policing for you which I know from experience is exhausting. Take it easy make some time for you and ds at least you have that Christmas break to look forward to.
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 8th Oct 16, 8:58 AM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    Thanks TG....sooooo looking forward to the break, will be the first Happy Happy Christmas in years...
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 8th Oct 16, 3:09 PM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    Talking about selling our car last night, cant imagine us missing it to be honest, I walk almost everywhere now and we have the works vehicle, basically just sits on the drive costing us money, should get around £2,500 for it, not to mention the money we will save on tax, insurance etc....would rather pay off debts and add to my mortgage pot....
    Off to A1di around 5pm, have given myself a £25 limit as chest freezer is still quite full.....stick to the basics will be easier if DS stays at home Lol.
    Also have a M&s voucher £40 thinking of listing on Teabay, will never use, food far to expensive and I love my low cost charity clothing to much.
    My DMamma gave me a £40 treat...no reason just because she is beautiful inside and out , I don't want to use on my debts, I would much rather spend on something I can keep and I have found the perfect item, a gorgeous Deco mirror only £30........
    Also decided to re-decorate living room red, "I know was red only few months ago and loved it... Silly me, why did I change the colour?" keeping a look out for red curtains on carbooty tomorrow, another idea was to look out for a sewing machine and have a go at making my own.
    Right off for a nice Saturday afternoon nap before OH gets in from work......loving the peace
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 10th Oct 16, 3:50 PM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    £30 paid into mortgage after a very successful food shop £20 spend.....fridge still very bare but lots in the freezer so determined will make it through he week.
    Missed out on lovely mirror....bidding went far to high.
    Bingo night tonight, could really do with a fab win fingers crossed.
    Someone coming to look at the car this evening, just finished giving it a major clean, smells of vanilla and oranges....someone will have to fall in love with it Lol, feeling a twinge of sadness to let it go but no regrets....

    A.. store Card £140 /CC B £740/ CC S £1,600/ CC A £0 PAID....£2,450 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£69,150 paid £30,850 remaining ....(**Total 69,150**)........
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 11th Oct 16, 7:33 AM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    Car sold £2,200 oranges and vanilla seem to have done the trick Lol....lady was very keen and has paid cash slightly less than it was worth but quick sale, very happy. ...........OH didn't have a chance to count it Lol, as you know he cant be trusted with finances...so will be putting £1k into my mortgage savings this morning, £700 back into my CC should cover merchants invoices. Not decided what to do with remaining cash but will certainly come in handy, especially as that ongoing nightmare job is still causing problems...when will it end? , fence still not repaired, kitchen taps leaking and DS birthday quickly approaching. Molly moo also needs vet visit Thursday problem with her water works again. feeling very relieved this morning that we now have some spare cash.
    Mortgage now just over an impressive 70k Wowser......might just start my day with a skip Lol
    also shouldn't forget £20 paid off store card.....


    A.. store Card £120 /CC B £740/ CC S £1,600/ CC A £0 PAID....£2,450 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£70,180 paid £29,820 remaining ....(**Total 70,180**)........
    • safehouse
    • By safehouse 11th Oct 16, 6:05 PM
    • 619 Posts
    • 1,596 Thanks
    safehouse
    CC reduced once again, £300 cash to cover vet, fencing repair and new taps put to one side (hope is enough)...leaving £200 from car cash, have also paid another £120 into mortgage leaving £80 for my new EF added below. purse now almost empty but feel like I have spread the money very wisely.....
    Still have £40 M&S voucher to list must remember.....

    A.. store Card £120 /CC B £740/ CC S £1,000/ CC A £500....£2,950 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£70,300 paid £29,700 remaining ....(**Total 70,300**)........EF £80
    Last edited by safehouse; 11-10-2016 at 6:19 PM.
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