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Results: Has being in debt caused you stress and anxiety?

Yes

95.85% • 277 votes

No

4.15% • 12 votes

You may not vote on this poll

289 votes in total.

  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Andrea
    • By MSE Andrea 8th May 15, 11:26 AM
    • 7,904Posts
    • 19,719Thanks
    MSE Andrea
    Debt and Mental Health - How have your debts affected you?
    • #1
    • 8th May 15, 11:26 AM
    Debt and Mental Health - How have your debts affected you? 8th May 15 at 11:26 AM
    Hi everyone,

    As part of Mental Health Awareness Week 2015 next week (11-17 May), we’re supporting Stepchange Debt Charity and the Mental Health Foundation (MHF) in highlighting how debt can play a large part in mental health issues.

    We have a free Mental Health and Debt guide available for anyone to download so if you're struggling please do take a look!

    Has being in debt caused you stress and anxiety?

    We're launching a poll to see how many of you have had mental health issues. We've kept responses private so other forum users won't see who's voted in the poll. If you'd like to reply below and discuss that would be great but don't feel you have to.

    Join the forum to vote in the poll and join the conversation: join.

    Mental Health Awareness Week Twitter Chat Wed 13 May, 11am

    We're hosting a twitter chat with StepChange Debt Charity and the Mental Health Foundation this Wednesday: Twitter Chat
    Last edited by MSE Andrea; 08-05-2015 at 12:08 PM.

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Page 4
    • phoenix851
    • By phoenix851 29th May 16, 10:56 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    phoenix851
    Hi all,

    I have only recently discovered this forum and have already found some comfort in reading the stories of others. Being in debt can bring on all sorts of emotions - shame, anxiety and frustration are probably my three most experienced emotions in relation to debt.

    I am currently in £15,000 debt - 2 unsecured loans, 3 credit cards. A large contribution to this was starting to use payday loans following the breakdown of my relationship, then acquring more debt to make monthly payments and so on and so on. I continue to make payments and 'manage' my debt but with the entirity of my wage swallowed up by repayments. As many of you may be familiar with - the spiral is a fast one; suddenly I find myself here, rock bottom, staying with my parents at the age of 30 and struggling to see an end to this black tunnel.

    I just wanted to say thank you to those who post and support others experiencing debt. I've had a pretty rough weekend (the latest in a long line), focusing on my situation and trying to forge a way out. This forum lifted that weight for while - knowing that I am not alone in this.

    Such a valuble source of support and information.

    Thank you x
    • sunshine&showers
    • By sunshine&showers 1st Jun 16, 7:40 AM
    • 20 Posts
    • 29 Thanks
    sunshine&showers
    Hi everyone

    I'm new today and this post is very close to home for me. I have a large amount of cc debt, around £25,000 and my debts have affected my mental health and my mental health has affected my debts.

    I joined here as I struggle to talk about my debts with most people for fear of being judged. I've built the debt up through various things, one of the toughest ones to admit though is I spend on others because I want them to think of me in a positive way, to be liked. It's the way I briefly have self esteem, if others praise me then I feel good for awhile.

    So I'm tackling both head on now, my debt and my mental health and I think it's great for mse to highlight this area too.

    Good luck to everyone on here and remember you aren't alone

    X
    • Isa76
    • By Isa76 21st Aug 16, 10:44 AM
    • 2 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Isa76
    I just found this thread and reading other people's stories has helped immensely. Has my debt caused my MH issues or has MH caused my debt? Who knows and the truth is it doesn't matter. It's about having a okish day and finding inspiration when your brain can say - it's possible.

    Now I need to try to help myself. I have not worked now for 3 (I think) years following redundancy but was already on my way down into my second episode. I live with my parents, I am older than I should be, and not as wise as I should be. This episode is hard and I used to spend money without thinking to make me feel better about my life and today I am hoping to change that. I am not getting any money and am living on my parents which is humiliating but worst of all not fair to them.

    In my experience the NHS is a great institution but when it comes to MH it all seems to be about circumstances. If you are not suicidal then they just want to give you pills to keep you "working/living a normal life" or existing until you crash.

    The charity MIND has saved me, it has led me to volunteering and now this thread has convinced me that I can be debt free - maybe just before I die but that's better than not at all right? I'm not going to sugar coat this, if I were to close my eyes tomorrow and not wake up the only thing that would haunt is the mess I would leave behind for loved ones so I'm not going to do that to them.

    I'm going to get better and when I am better I am going to sort myself out financially. I can't cope with focusing on more than one thing at a time as I wobble so getting better will take priority but the debts are my responsibility and I need/want to sort them out. I will get there I just have to keep fighting. One day at a time.

    This thread has given me a flicker of hope without making me feel like I am the worst specimen on the planet. It hasn't humiliated me, made me feel small for all my faults and shortcomings or criticised (yet!), maybe one day I will be better and maybe one day I will be debt free. Who knows. But I want to try and sometimes that is half the battle. Sometimes just waking up everyday is the battle. But each day we must fight each battle one tiny bit at a time. Thank you to all that have written and posted on this thread. Today you have inspired and saved a life.
    • Herc Time
    • By Herc Time 5th Sep 16, 3:53 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Herc Time
    This is my story.
    I was a pathological gambler.I gambled from early childhood to the 29 year . I passed the whole circle of interest in the game through first gains, debts , usury , fighting with myself.
    I met many people that have gambled , watched them how they becoming poor and how they rock their families.I thought that I am not liked tham, that I have everything under control.Because one event I stopped gambling,and now I fell I have obligation to help other people. To help gambeler you have to understand that feeling of unbearable impulse,joy and suffering that gambling brings with it. You have to be stronger than him.
    .
    • Joanna jinxed
    • By Joanna jinxed 10th Sep 16, 2:11 PM
    • 10 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    Joanna jinxed
    My mental health and my debt are unhappy bedfellows.

    I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was 20. Impulsive spending was an easy get-out from reality. From the moment I went to university and was given an overdraft, I have been in debt. I spent all the megre savings I had, spent all the money in my overdraft, acquired credit cards and loans...it goes on and on every time I hit a low period in my mental health, my spending goes out of control. Then I get a bit better, budget sensibly...but it all gets too much and I wind up back where I started. I've been sleepless and near suicidal at times. Now I'm looking down the barrel of the £25k of debt I've racked up and I'm determined to take control. I've gotten in contact with a debt relief charity and I'm determined to start taking the small steps towards being debt free. I'm 32 now, and my goal is to be debt-free by 40. I want to start a family, although while my finances are so dire I won't even entertain the idea.
    • joshsmith11
    • By joshsmith11 5th Oct 16, 1:34 PM
    • 3 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    joshsmith11
    Ok, firstly I have read a lot of threads on this forum and I don't think my situation is that bad in comparison to others. However, I am now suffering from depression and would like some advice on how to proceed with my life and finances.

    I am a 24 year old male, currently living at home with my parents. Around 8 months ago I suffered from rage and lost a substantial (to me) amount of money gambling. The gambling situation is now firmly under control and I will never make the same mistakes again. In order for me to see ends meat and to pay my bills, I took out multiple loans.

    I am in full time employment (having been with the same company for nearly 3 years) and currently earn a net pay of £1,171.99 (after NI, tax and company pension) - I don’t have any money saved or tied up elsewhere.

    My next month’s payments look as below and this is the basis for month upon month;

    • £100 board to my parents - ongoing
    • £50 phone contract until - January 2017
    • £145 car finance - (3 years left)
    • £70 Car insurance - until September 2017
    • £100 petrol - ongoing
    • £3 p/m – car tax
    • £250 paying girlfriend back for holidays/money lent - £2,000 outstanding
    • Football subs £25 p/m
    In addition to the above I also need to pay £100 to my mum (money owed). Also I have a lot of birthdays and Christmas plus other miscellaneous which also cause outgoings.

    My debts are as follows:

    • HSBC 1 - 12 monthly payments left of £84.15. (£993.70 outstanding).
    • HSBC 2 - 12 monthly payments left of £161.82. (£1,925.80 outstanding).
    • Zopa 1 - 36 monthly payments left of £40.74. (£1,466.64 outstanding).
    • Zopa 2 - 31 monthly payments left of £39.70. (£1,190.00 outstanding).
    • Rate Setter - 30 monthly payments of £54.47. (£1,493.39 left outstanding).
    I appreciate this was my own doing and I have nobody other than myself to blame but I am really struggling with uncharacteristic mood swings due to this and it is getting me down.



    I also have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 3 years now and we are desperate to save to buy our own place, her finances are much better than mine. She currently has deposit saved of over 6k and also comes out with £500 a month saving money.

    I don't want to seek doctor’s advice as I don't want this to affect my work life or anything.



    I have also been asked to interview for a new job at a big company with a large pay increase. However, with this obviously comes with the risk of meeting the probation period targets ect.


    Is it worth looking into setting up an IVA or should I stick to my payments and suffer the consequences of my actions for the next couple of years? If I was to take out additional support/advise, would this ruin my credit history of ever getting a mortgage with my partner? Would I have to declare this on all future correspondence such as job offers or anything to do with payments such as insurance companies?

    I would be grateful to hear some advice on how to proceed with this and also seeing the bigger picture as to regards to future plans.

    Thanks,
    Josh.
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 7th Oct 16, 1:41 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    Hi Josh, firstly well done for confronting your issues. I too was your age when I first went mad gambling, and for a time I started sorting stuff out. My trouble was I didn't keep the gambling addiction in check and 13 years later, I'm significantly worse off, a house and 2 relationships down and 91k in the red. Don't underestimate the damage gambling addiction can bring. If you don't already go, I strongly recommend regularly attending GA meetings. Keep going to meetings and the chances of reoccurrence is dramatically reduced.

    As for the finances, contact StepChange discuss the options with them. I'm on a Debt Management Plan with them.
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016
    • nigrub20
    • By nigrub20 16th Oct 16, 7:07 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    nigrub20
    Drowning
    Hi all,

    Recently been lurking on the forum and have found some comfort knowing I'm not alone in this situation.

    I'm roughly £20k in debt at 21, 22 in 3 months time

    I took a Debenhams store card just after I turned 18 and it's pretty much spiralled out of control since, I've now got roughly £14k on credit cards/overdrafts and have £6k left on car finance.

    I've never been formally diagnosed with depression (purely because I refuse to go to the doctors about it) but I was on antidepressants as a teen for anxiety issues, and I frequently suffer panic attacks.

    My spending and moods are related, I'll fly off the handle and spend to make myself feel better, if I'm happy/upset about anything then I'll buy something to fix it.

    The issues with money are seriously starting to affect me, I can't sleep, barely eating and my anxiety is through the roof. I know I need help but I'm desperate to keep up appearances so I don't know where to turn to.

    Nigrub
    • rockey100
    • By rockey100 22nd Oct 16, 2:25 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    rockey100
    Managing debt is hugely difficult. The more proactive and manageable I am around my debt the better I generally feel about it.

    I've come out of 40k debt so it can be done.
    • morecambe.bae
    • By morecambe.bae 27th Oct 16, 11:33 AM
    • 27 Posts
    • 63 Thanks
    morecambe.bae
    Joanna - I'm totally with you on the BPD thing, I wrestled with it for years. The biggest problem is impulse buying... when I'm not feeling great I'll buy food or clothes or makeup... sometimes I find myself in the shop before I'm even fully aware of what I'm doing.

    My poor mental health is the primary cause of my debt.
    Debt on 01/01/2015: £10,241.50
    Remaining debt as of 26/10/2016: £3,250
    Saying NOvember!
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 27th Oct 16, 12:29 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    One of the things that I am learning in recovery that behaviours relating to reckless spending, overeating, alcohol, drugs, gambling etc etc, can be overcome by learning to love yourself. I've battled for years with mild depression, ultimately resulting in a major depressive episode. All of those years, I put constant demands on myself, sometimes, actually almost always unrealistic, just so I could beat myself up with a brick. I've been in recovery now for 7 months and am learning to take it day by day, to beat myself up with a feather (doesn't hurt so much) and learn to love myself. I am not what my mind tells me I am, I am who I desire to be. I'm not depressed, I am me, depression exists in my life but it doesn't have to define me or label me.

    I am unable to give what I don't have therefore if I don't love myself how can I love someone else. I dearly love my wife and children, therefore I must love myself in some level, hidden amongst the warped thoughts in my washing machine head.

    Today, I will change my thoughts, today I am a success! I am not making my financial position worse, and I am paying off my debt. I am up, dressed, at work, my family has a roof over their head, they have food on the table, they have clothes and shoes and toys. Some children are lucky to have just one of the essentials for survival. The more I think about it, the more grateful I am, my life isn't actually that bad, in fact it's great, so I just need to keep telling my mind that fact.

    I am as happy as I make up my mind to be.

    Just for today I will be happy!
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016
    • Kawaii Corgi
    • By Kawaii Corgi 2nd Nov 16, 2:12 PM
    • 40 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    Kawaii Corgi
    I do find my debt causes me a lot of anxiety; but as I go to a counsellor to cope with my anxiety in general and take medication, I find that side of it fairly manageable. I do really struggle though with the self image part of my MH; some days I absolutely hate myself for being in debt, not because it affects me (in my head I deserve feeling awful because it's my fault) but because it affects those around me, especially my husband, in terms of not being able to move or do much thanks to my lack of funds. Sounds dramatic I know but in my head I'm a 'bad person' because of it!
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 2nd Nov 16, 4:41 PM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    I do find my debt causes me a lot of anxiety; but as I go to a counsellor to cope with my anxiety in general and take medication, I find that side of it fairly manageable. I do really struggle though with the self image part of my MH; some days I absolutely hate myself for being in debt, not because it affects me (in my head I deserve feeling awful because it's my fault) but because it affects those around me, especially my husband, in terms of not being able to move or do much thanks to my lack of funds. Sounds dramatic I know but in my head I'm a 'bad person' because of it!
    Originally posted by Kawaii Corgi
    100% with you there. I hate it, but it's getting easier through acceptance. It is what it is, I can't change the fact that I have a large debt, or that I caused it through MY reckless behaviour, but I can change the way it makes me feel today. I'm slowly accepting the facts, and concentrating on positives that can make a change, i.e. paying it off. I have to deal with the wife moaning at me from time to time about being stuck and that she didn't sign up for this. I just take the moans on the chin, as she does have a valid reason to feel that way, but I do reinforce the positive factors associated with budgeting and the DMP, and most importantly that all of my actions over the last 7 months since facing up the issues have had a positive impact on the debt. It is getting paid off, slowly but surely.
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016
    • Kawaii Corgi
    • By Kawaii Corgi 2nd Nov 16, 6:44 PM
    • 40 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    Kawaii Corgi
    I'm working on acceptance and trying to have a positive outlook! once this year is over and I can start paying off properly I think I'll feel that bit better
    debt countdown: starting: £24,000 current: £23,380
    £1,000 savings challenge #212 £0/£1000

    • Prosperous1
    • By Prosperous1 4th Nov 16, 3:41 AM
    • 37 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Prosperous1
    Debt definitely does affect your mental health. Hence why I'm up at 3.30 sat in a darkness with just the fire on and have been awake since 2 am. I seem to be constantly playing catch up and feel like something has just snapped in me. From the outside people perceive me as successful. Married kids own business nice house rental houses but the reality is I'm struggling. Business is hard I'm behind on my mortgage and pretty much at wits end. To sum up. Debt = stress.
    • Huskyrunner
    • By Huskyrunner 4th Nov 16, 7:22 PM
    • 516 Posts
    • 823 Thanks
    Huskyrunner
    I hope its okay too post this but any men out there who are at there lowest ebb and contemplating doing something stupid due too debts help is there. Its not well know but there is a mental health charity called CALM (Campaign against living miserably) who cater too give help and advice too men only.

    I am a mental health sufferer i have type two bipolar and was diagnosed in march, the charity i have mentioned offer telephone and webchat support. Suicide is one of the biggest killers of men aged 20-45

    please share the link below i hope this helps someone its helped me.

    http://www.thecalmzone.net.gridhosted.co.uk
    debts 16550
    Mortgage 69500
    • Martinl
    • By Martinl 4th Nov 16, 10:04 PM
    • 4 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Martinl
    I'm not going to write a long essay about my previous financial mess but after having my property repossessed, 3 CCJs, debt recovery company after me, it's now all sorted and I came out of it rather well financially which in turn has caused me to no longer feel as anxious, stressed or depressed. Even before it all came to a head, the constant worry about getting through each month and managing to pay your bills was enough.
    What I will say is don't be afraid to talk to your doctor. They will not judge you.
    The best thing I did though was swallow what little pride I had left by then and talk to Cambridge Money Advisory Centre. They were totally non-judgemental and kept the wolves from my door, bought me time and helped me through it. Don't be ashamed to talk to someone like this who just want to help people like us who are in debt.
    So yes debt certainly did no favours to my mental health.
    • alibat
    • By alibat 16th Nov 16, 6:53 PM
    • 28 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    alibat
    Oh yes, been fighting depression and debt since I first left home to go to uni, with only a few brief spells of solvancy in between (I'm now 46). I've never handled stress or bad times well as long as I can remember. Not sure what triggered it. Eight years ago I came on here, nearly 50K in debt due to using spending to overcome depression and keeping the debt secret from my husband. I came clean, felt a huge wave of relief and he supported me. The house was remorgaged (now paid off) and I was briefly doing ok.

    Seven years down the line, I'm back in the same situation. After being ill and eventually being diagnosed with a chronic illness, depression struck as I was bullied out of my job as a result. My husband at first didn't seem to understand, and kept commenting about leaving a job with a good salary. If I hadn't, I would have most likely had a breakdown and not been able to work in the sector again. While still in the job, I started spending again but was too ashamed to own up to my husband. The work I got to replace it was casual, always being worried if I would have enough work. I usually did (although I always had no work in the summer, over Easter and Christmas), but recently things have changed due to changes beyond my control and I'm really struggling. I had one day of work last week, three days so far this week (but two below my usual pay).

    I have just about managed my payments upto now, but I am really going to have to tell my husband again, and again I'm petrified. Even more so now, as I've let him down yet again and I'm scared he will leave me. I think the world of him and cannot believe I am in this situation again and been so stupid. I don't know where to start (last time I gave him a letter but I feel I should do it face to face this time). My debt stands at £28,700 over 5 cards. How do I start? What can I say? I'm making myself really ill over this and can't stop worrying. Even having suicidal thoughts. Tried to see my doctor but can't get an appointment. Any advice would be very welcome.
    • sourcrates
    • By sourcrates 16th Nov 16, 9:47 PM
    • 8,331 Posts
    • 8,163 Thanks
    sourcrates
    I hope its okay too post this but any men out there who are at there lowest ebb and contemplating doing something stupid due too debts help is there. Its not well know but there is a mental health charity called CALM (Campaign against living miserably) who cater too give help and advice too men only.

    I am a mental health sufferer i have type two bipolar and was diagnosed in march, the charity i have mentioned offer telephone and webchat support. Suicide is one of the biggest killers of men aged 20-45

    please share the link below i hope this helps someone its helped me.

    http://www.thecalmzone.net.gridhosted.co.uk
    Originally posted by Huskyrunner
    Thanks for posting this.

    When all's said and done, it's only money, there is always a solution to be found, no matter how much you owe.

    And there is a lot of help available too, as it can seem overwhelming at times, you always have options !!

    For free debt advice please call National Debtline on
    0808 808 4000
    Monday to Friday
    9am to 9pm
    Saturday 9.30am to 1pm
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 17th Nov 16, 10:55 AM
    • 51 Posts
    • 82 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    Oh yes, been fighting depression and debt since I first left home to go to uni, with only a few brief spells of solvancy in between (I'm now 46). I've never handled stress or bad times well as long as I can remember. Not sure what triggered it. Eight years ago I came on here, nearly 50K in debt due to using spending to overcome depression and keeping the debt secret from my husband. I came clean, felt a huge wave of relief and he supported me. The house was remorgaged (now paid off) and I was briefly doing ok.

    Seven years down the line, I'm back in the same situation. After being ill and eventually being diagnosed with a chronic illness, depression struck as I was bullied out of my job as a result. My husband at first didn't seem to understand, and kept commenting about leaving a job with a good salary. If I hadn't, I would have most likely had a breakdown and not been able to work in the sector again. While still in the job, I started spending again but was too ashamed to own up to my husband. The work I got to replace it was casual, always being worried if I would have enough work. I usually did (although I always had no work in the summer, over Easter and Christmas), but recently things have changed due to changes beyond my control and I'm really struggling. I had one day of work last week, three days so far this week (but two below my usual pay).

    I have just about managed my payments upto now, but I am really going to have to tell my husband again, and uagain I'm petrified. Even more so now, as I've let him down yet again and I'm scared he will leave me. I think the world of him and cannot believe I am in this situation again and been so stupid. I don't know where to start (last time I gave him a letter but I feel I should do it face to face this time). My debt stands at £28,700 over 5 cards. How do I start? What can I say? I'm making myself really ill over this and can't stop worrying. Even having suicidal thoughts. Tried to see my doctor but can't get an appointment. Any advice would be very welcome.
    Originally posted by alibat
    Firstly, well done for opening up on here. Speaking aloud / writing it down helps to acknowledge the position.

    Secondly, Doctors! Just get an emergency appointment, mental health is an emergency especially having suicidal thoughts. Demand to get a referral see a psychiatrist, the GPs don't always know the best cause of treatment for depression.

    Lastly, Set aside time to sit down with your husband and tell him everything face to face, that's what I would do.

    Of course all of these actions are suggestions and only you will know what the right direction is for you to take.

    Take it all one day at a time.

    Hero
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April Feb 2033
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £90,518.02 Nov 2016
    £92228.23 Aug 2016 | £91808.02 Sep 2016 | £91165.17 Oct 2016
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