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    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 10th Apr 15, 12:36 AM
    • 465Posts
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    sarahevie1
    sarahevie's single quest to mortgage freedom
    • #1
    • 10th Apr 15, 12:36 AM
    sarahevie's single quest to mortgage freedom 10th Apr 15 at 12:36 AM
    I had a diary a while ago but I let it slip, my circumstances have changed massively in the last six months, so I am back aiming for one thing mortgage freedom.

    So about me, single mummy of three beautiful girls. Full time primary school teacher, I also have a Saturday job at a well known supermarket.

    About six months ago oh walked out on me after 12 years, I found myself 30, single and struggling. A few weeks later he was back, and we see each other most days, although he rents a flat in a nearby town. I've had to use literally all my savings to get the joint mortgage into my sole name, 20,000.

    My mum and dad paid oh his equity share of the house 10,000, will have to pay this back. Oh is now in the process of buying his own house, he's asked me to move into it with him, as he never felt like my house was his, although it was in joint names, I'm undecided about moving into ohs new house. All I know for certain is my house is my responsibility and the 58000 mortgage has to go.
Page 29
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 16th Mar 17, 11:51 PM
    • 465 Posts
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    sarahevie1
    Extra 6 hrs at the supermarket this evening. House looks ace. Love my new double glazing.
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 17th Mar 17, 9:44 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Feeling well and truly stuffed after pub tea with ex and kids. Ex paid but did get a round of drinks 6. Used my monthly play pass. Not quite sure how to tell ex that this hanging out and helping reconcile with kids is not a green light for getting back together. He stayed over last night as I didn't get in til half 11. He's currently in my bed watching tv with two of the kids fast asleep whilst Im in dd3s bedroom.

    We had a massive row tue as he forgot to pick kids up again, school had a huge go at me about it. Keep telling myself mental health problems are as serious as physical and to think compassionately but it's hard!

    A local gym, spa country club has offered teachers at my school unlimited free access over easter hols so will defo be taking advantage!

    The accountant came over Wednesday just sat talking and drinking tea. Less awkward this time when he left he just Said see you soon, think he's getting the same vibe as me, friends only.
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 19th Mar 17, 9:37 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Spending last seven days

    11.50 new light bulbs
    65 food shop
    10 white t shirts and cardigan for school.
    30 social spends.

    This weeks food shop was 55 which wasn't bad because it included two pairs of black leggings for DD2 and two work blouses for me.
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 20th Mar 17, 8:31 AM
    • 350 Posts
    • 2,399 Thanks
    armchairexpert
    Hi Sarahevie, I've just read your entire diary, what a lovely person you are.

    I know this is super cheeky from a complete stranger, but please do consider the counselling your Head suggested. Especially if you've been with your now-ex since you were a teenager, it's very very hard for you to see what is normal and acceptable in a relationship. I don't mean that in a condescending way, but if you've not had other relationships, you don't have the blueprint for one. It seems to me that you're both excusing vile behaviour from the ex AND starting to excuse behaviour from your new dates that just isn't okay, you know?

    You're clearly a very smart, very kind, very thoughtful person, and a wonderful mother who's made every decision to ensure her daughters' future. They're lucky to have you, and a good man will one day be lucky to have you as well. But these guys aren't them.

    Totally understand if you just think Who The Heck Is This Strange Poster and ignore me, but having just read through three years of your life I feel like I know you!
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
    1 May 2017 $222,634.29
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 20th Mar 17, 10:20 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    I've just been outed for my diary, but I'm not going anywhere I've always known anyone who knows me in real life would be able to spot me a mile as I disclose absolutely everything. From area where I live, home improvements, dates, job, the girls, church etc but I'm proud of my diary and as my friend said well its certainly accurate Well how did they know it was me? It was the two jobs, relationship with ex and home improvements of all things.

    Might have to start reading back though, as tend to post meaningfully in the moment, then with hindsight do something completely not what I'd planned.

    December 2010 I started on here, with 140,000 of mortgage debt, tiny home and a noose of a BTL. My mortgage on my own, much larger, home is now less than 44,000 so I'm sticking around I wouldn't have done it without the board keeping me on track.
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 20th Mar 17, 10:35 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Hi Sarahevie, I've just read your entire diary, what a lovely person you are.

    Thank you, and well done for getting to the end. I'm not surprised you feel you know me, I feel the same when I read other diaries too - especially when I'm fb friends with them and can see what they look like.


    I know this is super cheeky from a complete stranger, but please do consider the counselling your Head suggested.

    When I had two dependent days off last term we were doing the return to work and she said I don't think you need occupational health. I think that there's much bigger mental health problems at school a couple on long term sick etc. I just plod on. Will definitely take it if offered though


    Especially if you've been with your now-ex since you were a teenager, it's very very hard for you to see what is normal and acceptable in a relationship.

    Starting to realise this more and more. I got together with ex at 18 so wasn't a young teenager was actually first year at uni. Relationship history is pretty scant though. First boyfriend was in the army I was absolutely besotted he dropped me like a stone when I thought we'd marry. Dated a millionaire after that but he was considerably older and I couldn't face sleeping with him as he was overweight and balding. He was only 28 but I was 18. Didn't last long but I always feel he was the one that got away. He used to stand outside halls with flowers. Still in social media contact with him and he's nice



    I don't mean that in a condescending way, but if you've not had other relationships, you don't have the blueprint for one. It seems to me that you're both excusing vile behaviour from the ex AND starting to excuse behaviour from your new dates that just isn't okay, you know?I know ex is volatile but he's messed up and really does need support. He's not nasty he's just been going through a bad time.At the end of the day I'm not helping ex for completely selfless reasons I'm doing it because he is the father of my kids and they deserve somebody stable.They also feel incredibly abandoned by him.

    You're clearly a very smart, very kind, very thoughtful person, and a wonderful mother who's made every decision to ensure her daughters' future. They're lucky to have you, and a good man will one day be lucky to have you as well. But these guys aren't them.

    Thank you.


    Totally understand if you just think Who The Heck Is This Strange Poster and ignore me, but having just read through three years of your life I feel like I know you!

    Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, lovely to hear from you. I feel like I know Alex LK as well, for the same reasons
    Originally posted by armchairexpert
    Responses in purple
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 21st Mar 17, 5:17 AM
    • 350 Posts
    • 2,399 Thanks
    armchairexpert
    Oh, no, I get that you're maintaining the good relationship with the ex for the kids, and it's admirable. How heartbreaking that he considers time with his own kids 'babysitting' and 'helping you out' and using that as a power trip over you - I imagine that hurts a lot. It's not so much him, as whether counselling would help you to step back and consider what you actually deserve before you plunge into the world of internet dating.

    But you're obviously very clear headed and very smart and perfectly capable of running your own life!
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
    1 May 2017 $222,634.29
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 26th Mar 17, 10:04 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Spending last seven days

    53 dance uniform for girls. This is pretty good for tap shoes x2 and x2 leotards. Shopped around and ended up with ebay. Would have been 80 if I'd bought from the dance school/shops locally.

    60 social spends. This was largely food/drink in Edinburgh, with it being Mother's Day I treated my lovely daughters to Frankie and Benny's and breakfast out. Also included a 3 bus ticket, 5 books, icecreams, drinks in the park etc.

    65 food shop.

    90 train tickets/hotel in Edinburgh (actually spent this in Jan but it happened this week)

    Very very expensive week
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 26th Mar 17, 10:10 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Had an absolutely amazing weekend in Edinburgh, the weather was absolutely stunning and other than food and drink costs we didn't spend anything else.

    We went to Scotsman steps, scottish monument, the art gallery, the scottish gallery and basically walked round a lot of the city centre parks. Did 7 hours of walking on Saturday and about 4 on Sunday. Just wandered aimlessly and ended up in Leith, saw the Hibs ground, scottish parliament, royal mile, Princes street park, also ended up walking in some residential areas and saw the stunning hillside around Edinburgh my favourite was near the art gallery where you could see the sea. We also stayed in EH9 and refused to get a taxi, so did a lot of walking there as well.

    In other news, I've let my student house. Was starting to worry about this as its been advertised since Jan and only had my first viewing this week, and they have taken it. They asked for a summer rent concession and I agreed, as I was keen to let it, but somehow I've undercharged them for 10 months on top of the rent concession we negotiated, but just got to grin and bear it. Overall I'm getting 64 per person per week, instead of the advertised 70 per person per week but its let and that's the main thing!
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 27th Mar 17, 9:23 PM
    • 46,059 Posts
    • 162,655 Thanks
    beanielou
    Good news on the rental.
    Edinburgh is the best.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 2nd Apr 17, 9:32 AM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Longer shift at the supermarket yesterday. Have not kept track of what I've spent this week, but it shouldn't be too bad. Food and petrol was 90 but other than that haven't spent anything.

    Girls were on stage at the theatre yesterday with their dancing. they have broken up from school but I have another week to do, they are going away for the week to family, so I've not bothered doing a food shop this week as I'll just eat out of the freezer.

    Had the accountant round this week, but its all got a bit awkward, as found out ex is spying on me. Still not even kissed accountant, but I do like spending time with him. Anyway I was spotted at my local with the accountant a few weeks ago, and ex has now got it into his head that something is going on, I keep reminding him that HE left me a number of times, and told me very nastily to find someone else. Since I've been spending time with accountant, I'm starting to realise how bad for my self esteem ex is. Such as telling everyone he's ditched me, never being allowed to go out with his friends, just generally acting embarrassed to be with me. Ultimately with ex its his way or no way, and I'm finding that its no way these days!

    I can see very clearly when it started to go wrong with ex, when I started teaching.
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • Clarey008
    • By Clarey008 2nd Apr 17, 4:28 PM
    • 158 Posts
    • 1,009 Thanks
    Clarey008
    You sound like you are getting stronger and I do sympathise as I have been in a similar situation with someone over the last few years who is absolutely no good for my self esteem.
    Mortgage Dec 2015 - 21545 Apr 2016 - 19930
    Crazy Clothes Challenge 2016 79.98/150
    • Moneyfordreams
    • By Moneyfordreams 2nd Apr 17, 4:50 PM
    • 810 Posts
    • 3,824 Thanks
    Moneyfordreams

    Had the accountant round this week, but its all got a bit awkward, as found out ex is spying on me. Still not even kissed accountant, but I do like spending time with him. Anyway I was spotted at my local with the accountant a few weeks ago, and ex has now got it into his head that something is going on, I keep reminding him that HE left me a number of times, and told me very nastily to find someone else. Since I've been spending time with accountant, I'm starting to realise how bad for my self esteem ex is. Such as telling everyone he's ditched me, never being allowed to go out with his friends, just generally acting embarrassed to be with me. Ultimately with ex its his way or no way, and I'm finding that its no way these days!

    I can see very clearly when it started to go wrong with ex, when I started teaching.
    Originally posted by sarahevie1
    Clarity is a wonderful thing... keep your confidence up... you are clearly a very capable lady.. maybe your ex sees what he's missing... maybe he's a touch jealous as he didn't want you to move on... Don't put those emotional rose coloured specs back on you don't need anyone who makes you feel undervalued.. keep strong
    Mortgage Feb '13 200000, end 2038. Aiming for before March 2025 (crunched to 2034)
    January 16 182800 : minimum 360 OP but needs to be 600 to achieve 2025
    Current mortgage 162190
    Car loan finished oct 16
    h@lifax CC 4800 0% until May 2018.. will pay minimum for now, slow stooze
    xmas, chairs, hoover, computer and holiday clothes cc
    • debtfreeoneday
    • By debtfreeoneday 4th Apr 17, 8:40 AM
    • 2,673 Posts
    • 8,963 Thanks
    debtfreeoneday
    Glad to hear things are going well with the accountant even if it's just good company!
    DFW (08/08) 64,346.53
    CC1 - GONE! ~~~ CC2 - GONE! ~~~ CC3 - 1573.87
    MFW (01/15) 118,031.21 99,179.01 11y8mth to go
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 10th Apr 17, 7:05 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    lost track of last weeks spends but won't be too horrific as had no children so didn't do any supermarket shopping.

    Spends so far this week (it's Easter hols for us so all off, but keeping to the budget.)

    48.60 food shop.
    42 petrol.
    9 - day at the park. Succumbed to icecreams and drinks.
    8.80 - went walking in the Yorkshire dales and went to the famous ice cream parlour.
    1.20 - Magazine to read. Spent the morning at a local park, afternoon at school, evening at home.

    I'm pleased that three long days out have come in at less than 20 for four that's pretty good!
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 12th Apr 17, 11:58 PM
    • 151 Posts
    • 381 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Just read through your diary...what an inspirational read! I'm also a primary school teacher and single parent. Really interesting to read of your balance between making overpayments/aiming for mf but also living at the same time and making memories with your children.
    paydbx #90 275/10,000.
    365 day penny challenge 37.66/667.95
    Loan 17k in 2012- 840 in May 2017. Home improvement loans 3342 March 2017
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 16th Apr 17, 2:05 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Expensive week

    Food shop for the week 50 included 4 easter eggs.
    Night out 19
    Day out with friends 33 - included having to buy DD3 a change of clothes when she wet herself and a monthly play pass which will lead to cheaper days in the future.

    24 clarks shoes for DD3.
    6 swimming costume for DD1.
    14 shoes for work for me.
    The clothing spends were all essential.

    I've done a list of what the girls need for summer just a cardi/jacket each and a pair of sandals and that's it. Will not be sucked into buying anything else.
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • armchairexpert
    • By armchairexpert 17th Apr 17, 4:16 AM
    • 350 Posts
    • 2,399 Thanks
    armchairexpert
    I'm loving reading about your cheap days out (and even the not-so-cheap ones) - we're just starting our fortnight's holidays here and it's very inspiring. Thanks!
    MFW diary here. 1 Feb 2017 $229,371 - MFD Feb 2043 aiming for May 2028
    1 May 2017 $222,634.29
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 19th Apr 17, 10:00 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Taken delivery of lots of paint today, my downstairs is being re decorated as a birthday present. So exciting, really looking forward to a little home improvements.
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 20th Apr 17, 2:22 PM
    • 465 Posts
    • 2,435 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    I'm sat crying over a divan bed base, how utterly ridiculous

    Despite having a really good day yesterday, I am constantly torn between wanting to live for now, wanting to spend on my home, and really wanting to be mortgage free.

    I'm 200 into my 'savings' already, don't get paid for another 6 days, and my student tenant has broken his bed. I've also got the girls half termly bill for dancing and 35 for a show costume to pay before I get paid.

    Have been watching that rich house, poor house on the TV, the poor house has been me for the at least seven years and I'm getting sick of it. Going to give myself a kick up the rear and do the school run.
    Mortgage 1 - 44000 Value 283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - 109000 Value 185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt 300,000 - Now 150000
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