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    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 10th Apr 15, 12:36 AM
    • 466Posts
    • 2,436Thanks
    sarahevie1
    sarahevie's single quest to mortgage freedom
    • #1
    • 10th Apr 15, 12:36 AM
    sarahevie's single quest to mortgage freedom 10th Apr 15 at 12:36 AM
    I had a diary a while ago but I let it slip, my circumstances have changed massively in the last six months, so I am back aiming for one thing mortgage freedom.

    So about me, single mummy of three beautiful girls. Full time primary school teacher, I also have a Saturday job at a well known supermarket.

    About six months ago oh walked out on me after 12 years, I found myself 30, single and struggling. A few weeks later he was back, and we see each other most days, although he rents a flat in a nearby town. I've had to use literally all my savings to get the joint mortgage into my sole name, £20,000.

    My mum and dad paid oh his equity share of the house £10,000, will have to pay this back. Oh is now in the process of buying his own house, he's asked me to move into it with him, as he never felt like my house was his, although it was in joint names, I'm undecided about moving into ohs new house. All I know for certain is my house is my responsibility and the £58000 mortgage has to go.
Page 28
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 23rd Feb 17, 8:23 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Now up to £90 social spends this week. Had a no spend day yesterday as had the parents round. Went to a lovely gastro pub, their Treat! Today took dd3 to an independent cinema with friends. Saw sing, all 3 adults, 4 kids, loved it. Then went for lunch and play. Bought a monthly pass for £20 which I can use for up to 4 kids at three local play centres so will save money, give us something to do over the next month.

    Accountant from two weeks ago has asked me out on Sunday may go. Not heard anything from academic other than how has your day been type texts.

    Had confirmation though post of op and mortgage is now below £44000, so excited shared my good news with friends they thought I was off my rocker, nothing new there the
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 24th Feb 17, 11:13 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Another £8.50 spent today. Had to buy milk, bread. Used pass at play centre. Treat ed kids to sweets as it's Friday.

    After school had tea at friends house then dd1 went to a brownie sleepover.

    Ex told me he won't be a babysitter,, not sure where this came from as this week he's seen kids a total 2 hrs with 4 hrs planned tomorrow. He has never, ever had them overnight and he had the cheek to say that. This was after the if you want to go out sat you can as I'm not going out now. On the one hand he says he will help with children he's always here etc etc, on the other he gets on his high horse with comments such as I won't be a babysitter, I'm helping you out with childcare etc.

    I've not contacted him at all this week as he told me he never wanted to speak to me again, amongst a barrage of abuse. Yesterday and today he's called for a chat. Lots of self pity and how he left me for my own good etc. Don't really want to see him tomorrow but will suck it up for the children.
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 25th Feb 17, 7:19 PM
    • 48,487 Posts
    • 178,355 Thanks
    beanielou
    Lovely~~~not.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 25th Feb 17, 11:06 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Went really well with ex actually. I was super nice to him as he's just lost his dad and I feel sorry for him. I think a lot of the horrible stuff he says is because he's really hurting.

    I accept I will never have a night off as I have the girls overnight 7 nights a week, but I don't envy ex his freedom, my main focus is the kids, they bring me so much more happiness than dates. Overall I'm happy with my life, it's not what I wanted or planned but I am so lucky with my kids, house, jobs.

    Weekly food shop £36. Will try not to top up.
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 25th Feb 17, 11:27 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Ex has agreed to start counselling, long overdue and I'm really optimistic it will lift him. Ive been so cross with his behaviour that ive lost sight of a fellow human who is hurting so im going to try to be much more sympathetic from now on. His mum has been in hospital this week which I only just found out and it sounds like she also has a terminal condition. Family wise this leaves him with a sibling, parent and the kids which is very upsetting for him and I realise that now. I can't understand when the kids are his closest family why he sees them the least, but instead of getting cross and defensive about it I'm going to be looking for ways to support and perhaps re engage him with the girls for all their sakes. Haven't thought about how to do it yet but I will hopefully find a way.

    No social spends today, extra money from shift at supermarket, cancelled date with academic to support ex.
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 26th Feb 17, 10:42 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Spending last seven days.

    £120 social spends.
    £60 food.
    £45 petrol

    Walked to church today twice. First for morning service, secondly for family craft session this afternoon. About 8 miles in total. Going to try and not use the car at the weekend from now on for health, wealth reasons.
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 5th Mar 17, 7:33 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Spending last 7 days
    £10 phone top up.
    £14 two trips to cafe with friends and kids.
    £10 birthday present
    £7 top up shop.
    £10 theatre drinks and interval snacks.
    £36 food shop.

    Pleased with this.
    Today is the start of m my next 7 days and spent £29 in marks and Spencer. Thought I had a £20 gift card from a parent at school but it was only £10 when it swiped through the hand written card said £20 so it was a little odd. Spent £25 in aldi on fruit ma nd veg. £54 already on groceries so need to not spend anymore.

    I've invited the accountant from 3 weeks ago over tomorrow as he's a nice person and it will be nice to have some adult company.
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 6th Mar 17, 11:17 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Had a lovely evening with the accountant shared a bottle 8th w Wine. I really quite like him. Within b 3 hrs of deciding on second date with him ex wanted to give it another go. So confused!

    Ex is the love of my life but it doesn't mean I think we are good together. I can't erase the heartache and I keep thinking about being referred to occupational health by my head over emotional abuse. Anyway seeing ex tomorrow to discuss his counselling, medicine, mum.

    No spend day
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 7th Mar 17, 6:25 PM
    • 48,487 Posts
    • 178,355 Thanks
    beanielou
    I wont say what I think!!
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • gallygirl
    • By gallygirl 7th Mar 17, 8:45 PM
    • 16,455 Posts
    • 107,804 Thanks
    gallygirl
    I wont say what I think!!
    Originally posted by beanielou
    If you're thinking what I think you're thinking - I'm thinking it too .
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    Mortgage Balance = £0
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
    • Brodiebobs
    • By Brodiebobs 7th Mar 17, 9:27 PM
    • 762 Posts
    • 3,177 Thanks
    Brodiebobs
    If you're thinking what I think you're thinking - I'm thinking it too .
    Originally posted by gallygirl
    me too, possibly with more swears
    Addicted to MSE.
    Overpaying mortgage for a better debt free life!
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 7th Mar 17, 9:40 PM
    • 48,487 Posts
    • 178,355 Thanks
    beanielou
    If you're thinking what I think you're thinking - I'm thinking it too .
    Originally posted by gallygirl
    me too, possibly with more swears
    Originally posted by Brodiebobs

    A few choice words may have been muttered
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • gallygirl
    • By gallygirl 7th Mar 17, 9:45 PM
    • 16,455 Posts
    • 107,804 Thanks
    gallygirl
    A few choice words may have been muttered
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Fair few asterisks here .
    Save
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    Mortgage Balance = £0
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 8th Mar 17, 9:37 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    After two no spend days. £8.35 spent today in a cafe whilst waiting for dd1 at brownies.
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • lincoln-potter
    • By lincoln-potter 9th Mar 17, 10:25 AM
    • 878 Posts
    • 4,253 Thanks
    lincoln-potter
    I would say the ex is an ex for a reason, I too have had the "i miss you" lines etc etc and whilst its "comfortable" to go back to what you know I always feel that relationships fail for a reason and going back won't correct any of the issues. Draw a line and move on.

    Good on you for being positive though and seeing the good side in him, you'll need that for the future.
    MFiT-T #82 £85k -> £38k
    MFW #32 £8,500/£8,500
    Make £2017 in 2017 challenge - £821.76 #10
    • Darpett
    • By Darpett 9th Mar 17, 3:14 PM
    • 59 Posts
    • 366 Thanks
    Darpett
    What Licoln-potter said
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 9th Mar 17, 8:33 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    I would say the ex is an ex for a reason, I too have had the "i miss you" lines etc etc and whilst its "comfortable" to go back to what you know I always feel that relationships fail for a reason and going back won't correct any of the issues. Draw a line and move on.

    Good on you for being positive though and seeing the good side in him, you'll need that for the future.
    Originally posted by lincoln-potter
    I know you are probably right but I do truly believe he's the love of my life. I've been with him since I was a teenager and now I'm early 30s. Through choice I would never have ended it however I can't keep going through the roller coaster of he wants me, then he doesn't etc and all the emotional abuse that came along with it.

    I'm potentially seeing the academic tomorrow night as I've really managed to help ex reconnect with kids. That has been my biggest success and the most important thing for me.

    Rainbows this evening and tool other dds for icecream £4. Dd1 is away on a residential with school tomorrow for the weekend will miss her loads but she's dead Excited!
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 13th Mar 17, 9:18 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    Already in bed, as had a date with the academic last night and didn't get back til 11.30 on a school night.

    Spending last seven days £43 petrol.
    £50 social spends. This is shocking but have had such fun. Pancakes with my lovely daughters, cafe with my friends, 3 evenings out. Two just to my local but it all adds up!
    £55 food shopping.

    The academic asked if I'd have a weekend away with him to Wales, declined, as we know I've got the kids 7 nights a week. Then he started asking if I want a relationship with him, I was honest, I'm very unsure. I still think our lifestyles are just so different. He also keeps referring to English girls generally in quite a promiscuous fashion which I find quite rude. he then missed his last train back and begged to stay at my house, felt it was quite deliberate, but sent him back on a national express! Reading it back it sound much worse than it was, it was a lovely evening with a great guy it's just clear he wants more and I don't know what I want.
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • sarahevie1
    • By sarahevie1 13th Mar 17, 9:20 PM
    • 466 Posts
    • 2,436 Thanks
    sarahevie1
    The builder started work on my house today and already it looks fab yay!
    Mortgage 1 - £44000 Value £283000 (Mortgage val survey Sept 15.) 24 years 3 monthsOPs 71670Without OPs balance 119000
    Mortgage 2 - £109000 Value £185000 (Purchase price 2007.) 15 years 11 months
    Original Mortgage debt £300,000 - Now £150000
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 13th Mar 17, 9:51 PM
    • 48,487 Posts
    • 178,355 Thanks
    beanielou
    Good news on the house
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
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