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  • FIRST POST
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 8th Mar 15, 11:07 PM
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    AlexLK
    Renovations and Repayments.
    • #1
    • 8th Mar 15, 11:07 PM
    Renovations and Repayments. 8th Mar 15 at 11:07 PM
    Hello and welcome to visitors familiar with my journey thus far and are surprised to see me on such a sensible board and a further warm welcome to the new faces wondering what they've let themselves in for.

    Let me begin by clarifying a few points: the first one is I am not sure whether I'm actually serious or not about clearing my mortgage and the second is the fact my house needs quite a bit of work doing to it. This work I do myself and in the time my wife and I have lived in the house we've learnt all kinds of new skills. The current project involves renewing the windows and I am making the frames myself, two are done and I'm pleased to say look great.

    I plan to use this mortgage free (how very grown up) diary to document the renovations and my savings activities, out of which overpayments may or may not be made. However, I am fully committed to long term saving and making as much money as possible. A long term goal of mine is to add to the BTL portfolio I shall one day inherit and am already becoming more involved in which is perhaps a good reason to pay my mortgage off and make my current property into an investment.

    Aside from the recent interest in moneysaving I have a four year old son, run my own company, play and teach the violin and piano whilst studying for my own interest. Oh and don't mention the cars.

    Those familiar with my debt-free diary will know I'm not exactly great at record keeping but am trying to improve, so please don't expect the detailed financial updates others seem to put on here. To kick things off, I suppose I ought to confess the mortgage debt is a total of circa £185,000 and I have no real timescale or plan in mind to pay it off.

    Sorry if this is not a particularly articulate introduction, as I seem to be at a loss how to tailor it to both those who've read my debt free diary and to new readers frequenting mortgage free.
    Savings 2016: £9,790.
    £32,000 in debt on 2/9/2013. Debt free on 12/1/2015.
    Saved £11,000 in 2015.

Page 110
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 5th Oct 16, 10:02 PM
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    • 35,925 Thanks
    newgirly
    Sorry to hear that Alex, did you see the child take the pencil?
    MFW 21
    Target for 2016 £30,000 \ £72,350.11 paid so far

    Mortgage £63,080 5 yrs 8 months left. Total owed £92,893.96.

    Weight loss 2016 - 18.25 lb lost 40lb target
    • edinburgher
    • By edinburgher 6th Oct 16, 8:10 AM
    • 10,093 Posts
    • 52,650 Thanks
    edinburgher
    House finished bar some carpet and the kitchen, which will probably get a mini makeover late next year.

    Sorry to hear about the pencil, children can be total kleptomaniacs
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 6th Oct 16, 11:35 PM
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    AlexLK
    Roof is done. Pleased we no longer have tradesmen here but also rather annoyed about how much it cost and the fact our personal savings are now looking woeful. Can't say I feel it's been good value for money as we've lived with it for a long time and become accustomed to putting up with the house being as it is (was). Wife asked about stopping the overpayments and putting our surplus money into saving for the bathroom to be replaced. To be honest, I'd rather overpay; I don't much care about the place.

    Have also spent a lot of money on the MGB (c.£2,000) which was a little unexpected, one job turned into another. Really don't think we're going to have any overpayment / surplus amount at all this month.

    After the pencil incident, I've had a bad day trying to make my mind up whether to tell the school I'm leaving or not.

    Sorry to hear that Alex, did you see the child take the pencil?
    Originally posted by newgirly
    I didn't see it happen, no. There's a chance of it being one of two children (used the pencil during child a's lesson, couldn't find it during child b's lesson). However, I would be extremely surprised and upset if it were child b: have taught for a few years, works very hard, really enjoys playing violin and I have gone above and beyond to help this child achieve. To date I have spent significantly more on this child than I have received back in lesson payments (I bought child b an instrument suitable for the higher grades because her parents have very little money and school could only provide a basic instrument, also bought sheet music and books about music for the pupil, accompanied for free, paid exam fees and lots of unpaid time prepping for exams, theory work and improving general musicianship). Therefore, to my mind there is one suspect only.

    House finished bar some carpet and the kitchen, which will probably get a mini makeover late next year.

    Sorry to hear about the pencil, children can be total kleptomaniacs
    Originally posted by edinburgher
    You certainly don't hang around with the house renovations.

    It appears so.
    Last edited by AlexLK; 06-10-2016 at 11:38 PM.
    Savings 2016: £9,790.
    £32,000 in debt on 2/9/2013. Debt free on 12/1/2015.
    Saved £11,000 in 2015.

    • Watty1
    • By Watty1 6th Oct 16, 11:55 PM
    • 2,491 Posts
    • 17,593 Thanks
    Watty1
    sorry about the pencil. try not to let it spoil the whole picture. Easier said than done I admit
    Mortgage at start of diary Sept 2013: £132,995 Aug 2015 £0
    Overpaying next mortgage. £79,491 now £68801
    • tootallulah
    • By tootallulah 7th Oct 16, 7:47 AM
    • 1,935 Posts
    • 6,685 Thanks
    tootallulah
    For once I am with Mrs K making where you live water tight and comfortable would be important to me too. So sad about the pencil, and hard to accept too but what a shame for your good student if you leave. Just look at the bigger picture Alex, 3 years ago how could you have paid for the MGB? Times have changed for you so much, and in a very short time too.
    Mortgage House £173,000 July17th 2016.
    • maman
    • By maman 7th Oct 16, 12:00 PM
    • 15,032 Posts
    • 88,639 Thanks
    maman
    Roof is done. Pleased we no longer have tradesmen here but also rather annoyed about how much it cost and the fact our personal savings are now looking woeful. Can't say I feel it's been good value for money as we've lived with it for a long time and become accustomed to putting up with the house being as it is (was). Wife asked about stopping the overpayments and putting our surplus money into saving for the bathroom to be replaced. To be honest, I'd rather overpay; I don't much care about the place.

    Have also spent a lot of money on the MGB (c.£2,000) which was a little unexpected, one job turned into another.
    Originally posted by AlexLK

    Don't you think it's rather strange to be annoyed at spending money on your roof and refuse to refurbish your bathroom but accept it's fine to spend £2000 on a car which is part of your hobby and not even essential transport. That's a really difficult logic to understand. I suspect you're back to feeling that if the house isn't as big and impressive and valuable as your parents' home then it's not worth caring about. The house your live in now is your family home Alex not a metaphoric castle in the air.


    The pen incident is unfortunate but it happens I'm afraid. As a volunteer then it's your choice whether to return but what if something similar happened when you were employed? Something to think about maybe. And while I'm having a moan at you () I don't think it's wise to pay so much from your own pocket for that pupil. It's very kind and understandable but unless the school was prepared to find the money from somewhere then you'd be on a hiding to nothing if you took that mindset into a teaching career.


    Anyway, it's Friday!! I do hope MrsK is fully recovered and you've got something nice planned as a family for the weekend.
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 8th Oct 16, 11:26 PM
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    AlexLK
    sorry about the pencil. try not to let it spoil the whole picture. Easier said than done I admit
    Originally posted by Watty1
    Certainly is easier said than done, Watty.

    For once I am with Mrs K making where you live water tight and comfortable would be important to me too. So sad about the pencil, and hard to accept too but what a shame for your good student if you leave. Just look at the bigger picture Alex, 3 years ago how could you have paid for the MGB? Times have changed for you so much, and in a very short time too.
    Originally posted by tootallulah
    The roof is now done. There is nothing wrong with the bathroom other than it being over 50 years old and in a vile colour scheme. My wife wants new and a walk-in shower.

    I do have some good pupils at that school but quite a few are not so nice. It's a strange set up as I do some paid and some voluntary work there. I don't really get the opportunity to choose whether or not I teach someone.

    You're right about the fact I would not have been able to pay for everything I've bought for the B from our own personal finances.

    Don't you think it's rather strange to be annoyed at spending money on your roof and refuse to refurbish your bathroom but accept it's fine to spend £2000 on a car which is part of your hobby and not even essential transport. That's a really difficult logic to understand. I suspect you're back to feeling that if the house isn't as big and impressive and valuable as your parents' home then it's not worth caring about. The house your live in now is your family home Alex not a metaphoric castle in the air.

    The pen incident is unfortunate but it happens I'm afraid. As a volunteer then it's your choice whether to return but what if something similar happened when you were employed? Something to think about maybe. And while I'm having a moan at you () I don't think it's wise to pay so much from your own pocket for that pupil. It's very kind and understandable but unless the school was prepared to find the money from somewhere then you'd be on a hiding to nothing if you took that mindset into a teaching career.

    Anyway, it's Friday!! I do hope MrsK is fully recovered and you've got something nice planned as a family for the weekend.
    Originally posted by maman
    Maman, I don't find myself personally satisfied by the new roof and whilst I would like to replace the bathroom at some point, I know it's something that has survived for over 50 years and if left would likely survive another 50 years. However, I do derive some personal satisfaction from owning, driving and maintaining classic cars. Therefore, I cannot see where the fault in my logic is?

    My wife seems to think if we went through the place, replacing the bathroom and kitchen and redecorating, it would change my thoughts. Regarding my reasons for not caring an awful lot about the house, I suppose it not being the place I wanted to live in for a long time and raise a family in plays a part but I've also gone through some very difficult times whilst living here. It is rather humiliating to be in the position I am financially; reliant on either my wife or parents. This place never ceases to remind me of my failures to achieve. I don't feel like that about my childhood home as my parents have always expected me to be it's eventual custodian.

    Children stealing things is one thing but staff refusing to investigate the crime is another. To buy a new version of the pencil that was stolen would cost £275. That pencil has sat in my violin case for almost twenty years and holds a lot of sentimental value. We aren't talking about a 10p throwaway pencil that would clearly hold no sentimental value. If I were one of the powers that be, it would have been dealt with as a criminal matter. I'm going to stay until I decide whether I ought to leave or not.

    Regarding money spent on the pupil, you're right. I've spent quite a lot of money on pupils, I shouldn't do it and it's almost like being a substitute parent at times there. To be honest, I couldn't work in a school like that as a permanent member of staff and fully acknowledge that. This is a school which has meetings about pupils with ill-fitting and worn out shoes and children who are not eating properly at home. I know I could not deal with that without spending my own money should the school not help. I've had pupils taking Music who I give extra tuition to as they approach their GCSE so have recommended revision materials to parents who won't purchase despite their child being keen to revise the subject. I cannot stand by as the pupil doesn't get the grade they want or need for the sake of £10 or so. Who could, really? Not asked school for the money back, they only get so much funding as I'm sure you are aware. Ultimately, it should be the parents responsibility but a lot of these children don't have parents who value their child's education.

    My wife is fine now, thank you. We went out with my wife's brother and his family last night to an Indian restaurant. Over the past year or so I've not been able to eat Indian food without feeling rather ill until around lunchtime the day after but this is the first time I've actually been sick. Don't think there was anything wrong with the food, just with me. Anyhow, I won't be eating it again and our plans for today have been knocked back a week. Mrs K took our son to my cousin's for his riding lesson and cousin managed to get her on a horse for five minutes (wife is quite scared of the idea of horse riding).
    Savings 2016: £9,790.
    £32,000 in debt on 2/9/2013. Debt free on 12/1/2015.
    Saved £11,000 in 2015.

    • SingleSue
    • By SingleSue 9th Oct 16, 12:43 AM
    • 9,585 Posts
    • 52,242 Thanks
    SingleSue
    I always told my children not to take things into school that they couldn't afford to replace or would be very upset if they went missing. Maybe you should also think about that approach to prevent losses in the future.

    I know it is not a nice thing to have happen and you should have the freedom to have quality items around you whilst you work but there has always been and always will be, little tykes around.

    I'm afraid to say, I am also with your wife on the bathroom thing, to be honest, I would be mighty peeved if I was being told we couldn't afford a new bathroom suite only for the other person in the relationship to then go out and spend 2k on a non essential car. It may still be functional but a new suite may be even more functional, look nicer and possibly be more efficient (and improve the saleability of the house in the future).

    2k for me would have bought me an entire car and would have been posh for me until I got my motability one, the last car I got was £750, I had it for 2 years doing thousands of miles and my brother has owned it for the last year, doing even more miles than I did! A 2k repair bill would have seen me scrapping the car, I understand it is a classic car and things are different with these but did it really, absolutely, need to have all the repairs done right now? Is this your main car you drive and it needed to be done to keep it legal on the roads? If not, why did it need to be done all at the same time?

    Maybe a balance is needed, an agreement of splitting the money so that if there is 1k spare, £500 goes into the bathroom fund and £500 into the fun car fund....you both get what you want then.
    Keep battling on, I will get there eventually..even if I don't know where there is! Now a degree student and a carer to 3 disabled sons! Eldests' diagnosis (4.5.10) is Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility type and now it looks like I have it too (13.1.11) eekk!
    Tilly Tidy #10 £92.24/£180
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 9th Oct 16, 7:56 AM
    • 5,220 Posts
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    newgirly
    I agree with sue, also I don't see why your wishes are more important than your wife's to be honest. If you are not bothered about the house, why not let her get on with it? You have your cars, let her make the house as she wants it!
    MFW 21
    Target for 2016 £30,000 \ £72,350.11 paid so far

    Mortgage £63,080 5 yrs 8 months left. Total owed £92,893.96.

    Weight loss 2016 - 18.25 lb lost 40lb target
    • gallygirl
    • By gallygirl 9th Oct 16, 8:37 AM
    • 16,046 Posts
    • 105,244 Thanks
    gallygirl

    The roof is now done. There is nothing wrong with the bathroom other than it being over 50 years old and in a vile colour scheme.
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    Hmmmm..........that IS what is wrong with it .
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    Mortgage Balance = £0
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 10th Oct 16, 12:16 AM
    • 5,122 Posts
    • 25,858 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Not had a great day today. Really questioning the future and some of the choices I've made which directly impacts on my income. To be honest, I'm making even less money as of late and spending more. We won't overpay this month and I've no motivation to try to make some money to be put into our non-existent savings. Tried to bring up potential time scales for selling the house but that wasn't one of my wisest moves.

    I always told my children not to take things into school that they couldn't afford to replace or would be very upset if they went missing. Maybe you should also think about that approach to prevent losses in the future.

    I know it is not a nice thing to have happen and you should have the freedom to have quality items around you whilst you work but there has always been and always will be, little tykes around.

    I'm afraid to say, I am also with your wife on the bathroom thing, to be honest, I would be mighty peeved if I was being told we couldn't afford a new bathroom suite only for the other person in the relationship to then go out and spend 2k on a non essential car. It may still be functional but a new suite may be even more functional, look nicer and possibly be more efficient (and improve the saleability of the house in the future).

    2k for me would have bought me an entire car and would have been posh for me until I got my motability one, the last car I got was £750, I had it for 2 years doing thousands of miles and my brother has owned it for the last year, doing even more miles than I did! A 2k repair bill would have seen me scrapping the car, I understand it is a classic car and things are different with these but did it really, absolutely, need to have all the repairs done right now? Is this your main car you drive and it needed to be done to keep it legal on the roads? If not, why did it need to be done all at the same time?

    Maybe a balance is needed, an agreement of splitting the money so that if there is 1k spare, £500 goes into the bathroom fund and £500 into the fun car fund....you both get what you want then.
    Originally posted by SingleSue
    I understand where you're coming from re. school. Beyond what happened, I'm unimpressed by the way it was handled by the school. That has concerned me as much as the crime itself.

    The MG isn't everyday transport but I have only just bought the car. After buying I decided to do a little work to make it drive better and some work to the interior trim. If I'm honest I've allowed myself to get a bit carried away with it. Have gone back to searching and buying parts for the cars to improve them / keep potential upgrades in stock etc. Do need to stop doing it to this extent as it's starting to get a little out of hand again.

    Renovating the bathroom would cost the purchase price of the MG plus the c.£2,000 I've spent on it. To be honest, it seems like a lot of money to spend on this place again.

    I agree with sue, also I don't see why your wishes are more important than your wife's to be honest. If you are not bothered about the house, why not let her get on with it? You have your cars, let her make the house as she wants it!
    Originally posted by newgirly
    When have I alluded to my wishes being more important?

    Let my wife make the house as she wants it? No thank you, NG. I am here a lot more than she is and her ideas for the house are for the most part ghastly. I've every intention to finish the house but it is not my main priority and at the moment we cannot afford to finish the house even if we wanted to.

    Hmmmm..........that IS what is wrong with it .
    Originally posted by gallygirl


    My point was to illustrate it still functions perfectly well. As this is the money SAVING expert, do you really think it is worth replacing for those reasons?
    Savings 2016: £9,790.
    £32,000 in debt on 2/9/2013. Debt free on 12/1/2015.
    Saved £11,000 in 2015.

    • zcrat41
    • By zcrat41 10th Oct 16, 6:49 AM
    • 1,400 Posts
    • 3,840 Thanks
    zcrat41
    A 50 year old bathroom in a Coke colour will put off an awful lot of potential buyers if you're wanting to sell.
    Started aiming for Mortgage Neutrality July 2016.
    Aug 2016 target - £277.30. Achieved so far £281.84
    Total saved since start: £458.97
    • newgirly
    • By newgirly 10th Oct 16, 6:49 AM
    • 5,220 Posts
    • 35,925 Thanks
    newgirly
    When have I alluded to my wishes being more important?

    Let my wife make the house as she wants it? No thank you, NG. I am here a lot more than she is and her ideas for the house are for the most part ghastly. I've every intention to finish the house but it is not my main priority and at the moment


    Sorry Alex, but you answered your own question there


    You don't sound in a great place today, everything seemed much more positive lately for you. People's comments not agreeing may not help when you feel like that too, but you do write quite a personal mfw diary warts and all which does encourage that (nothing wrong with that, I do the same !) I hope you have a better week, you have achieved so much this year, one month with no op is a small blip
    MFW 21
    Target for 2016 £30,000 \ £72,350.11 paid so far

    Mortgage £63,080 5 yrs 8 months left. Total owed £92,893.96.

    Weight loss 2016 - 18.25 lb lost 40lb target
    • SingleSue
    • By SingleSue 10th Oct 16, 7:50 AM
    • 9,585 Posts
    • 52,242 Thanks
    SingleSue
    I agree, it's only one op missed and when you think how much work you have had done, you have done brilliantly well this last year.

    I'll say what I have said before....YOU HAVE NOT FAILED. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON.

    Sorry for shouting but I do think you need to have this said to you in a very loud voice!
    Keep battling on, I will get there eventually..even if I don't know where there is! Now a degree student and a carer to 3 disabled sons! Eldests' diagnosis (4.5.10) is Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility type and now it looks like I have it too (13.1.11) eekk!
    Tilly Tidy #10 £92.24/£180
    • hiddenshadow
    • By hiddenshadow 10th Oct 16, 7:58 AM
    • 1,772 Posts
    • 8,021 Thanks
    hiddenshadow
    Not had a great day today. Really questioning the future and some of the choices I've made which directly impacts on my income. To be honest, I'm making even less money as of late and spending more. We won't overpay this month and I've no motivation to try to make some money to be put into our non-existent savings. Tried to bring up potential time scales for selling the house but that wasn't one of my wisest moves.
    Originally posted by AlexLK
    Sorry you're feeling this way, I've been in the same slump before re: finances and it can be hard to break out of.

    Renovating the bathroom would cost the purchase price of the MG plus the c.£2,000 I've spent on it. To be honest, it seems like a lot of money to spend on this place again.

    ...

    My point was to illustrate it still functions perfectly well. As this is the money SAVING expert, do you really think it is worth replacing for those reasons?
    This seems to hearken back to earlier in your thread when you kept bringing up the SAVING aspect of the site to justify buying...something. Pens, maybe. Your posts seem quite keen on prioritising saving to buy (and/or renovate) classic cars (which could also be "saved" by not doing it in the first place ) and not on saving to give yourselves a financial cushion or fix up your house. There's nothing wrong with your priority being a car over the place you live in, as long as it works for you/your family, but it is quite a disconnect from the overall tone of MSE which is more towards the frugal side (and emphasises needs over wants, as evidenced by "renting your parking space" being in the motoring section over "how to spend 2k more on a car you just bought and don't need to drive anywhere" ). Hence the (gentle!) pushback on your thread, I think. As I said, if it works for you and your family, great, but it sounds like MrsK would like the bathroom redone, so maybe it doesn't?
    MFW: Dec '13 £197,100 / Dec '14 £180,691 / Dec '15 £161,669 / Dec '16 £119,799 (£6,724 offset)
    Payment 35/84 / 2016 MFW #56: £41,870/£43,000 97% / MFiT-T4 #15: £39,701/£90,000 44%
    • maman
    • By maman 10th Oct 16, 11:42 AM
    • 15,032 Posts
    • 88,639 Thanks
    maman
    Tried to bring up potential time scales for selling the house but that wasn't one of my wisest moves.


    My point was to illustrate it still functions perfectly well. As this is the money SAVING expert, do you really think it is worth replacing for those reasons?[/

    I understand where you're coming from re. school. Beyond what happened, I'm unimpressed by the way it was handled by the school. That has concerned me as much as the crime itself.
    Originally posted by AlexLK


    Sorry to hear you've not had a good day Alex but I really think sometimes you can be your own worst enemy.


    When you brought up the idea of selling the house and moving, where were you planning to move to? If you're still wanting to move in with your parents I can see why MrsK wasn't receptive.


    MrsK wants a comfortable family home for your family. That's the three of you. I'm you could find a decorative style for the bathroom that would please you both. I think this goes way beyond the bathroom and comes down to the fact that you still see your real home being your parents' house.


    From memory, you wanted the school to search children and maybe even call the police. That just isn't going to happen over a pen, however precious it is to you. It would need to have been something like good evidence over a suspected weapon to bring about this sort of action.


    I think we all have up and down times with finances. Some months there are just more outgoings than others. What would you normally do to make some money?


    Hope today's a better day for you.
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 11th Oct 16, 12:05 AM
    • 5,122 Posts
    • 25,858 Thanks
    AlexLK
    A 50 year old bathroom in a Coke colour will put off an awful lot of potential buyers if you're wanting to sell.
    Originally posted by zcrat41
    I know it needs to be dealt with before any sale happens.

    When have I alluded to my wishes being more important?

    Let my wife make the house as she wants it? No thank you, NG. I am here a lot more than she is and her ideas for the house are for the most part ghastly. I've every intention to finish the house but it is not my main priority and at the moment

    Sorry Alex, but you answered your own question there

    You don't sound in a great place today, everything seemed much more positive lately for you. People's comments not agreeing may not help when you feel like that too, but you do write quite a personal mfw diary warts and all which does encourage that (nothing wrong with that, I do the same !) I hope you have a better week, you have achieved so much this year, one month with no op is a small blip
    Originally posted by newgirly
    That comment didn't sound very nice, I'll admit. My wife understands I have final say over what happens to the house because I'm here more and also she admits I have good ideas which work well when executed.

    Thank you, NG. Things have been slipping for a few days now and I'm finding it hard to stay positive. Today has been a real low point for various reasons, trying to remember that a bad day doesn't have to mean tomorrow is a bad day also.

    It's not the lack of an OP which is bothering me too much. The television is the reason for this month's blip; I'm actually quite pleased with that purchase. Whilst we haven't watched it much, tonight my wife and I decided to watch a film for the first time in forever and it was a rather pleasant experience. At the moment I am concerned about making an income other than that guaranteed by my parents which often seems like more an allowance than an actual income.

    I agree, it's only one op missed and when you think how much work you have had done, you have done brilliantly well this last year.

    I'll say what I have said before....YOU HAVE NOT FAILED. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON.

    Sorry for shouting but I do think you need to have this said to you in a very loud voice!
    Originally posted by SingleSue
    Thanks, Sue. Wish I could say that I thought I'd done well, just seems like another wasted year to me.

    Not sure I'll ever believe that, no matter how loud you shout.
    Savings 2016: £9,790.
    £32,000 in debt on 2/9/2013. Debt free on 12/1/2015.
    Saved £11,000 in 2015.

    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 11th Oct 16, 12:35 AM
    • 5,122 Posts
    • 25,858 Thanks
    AlexLK
    Sorry you're feeling this way, I've been in the same slump before re: finances and it can be hard to break out of.

    This seems to hearken back to earlier in your thread when you kept bringing up the SAVING aspect of the site to justify buying...something. Pens, maybe. Your posts seem quite keen on prioritising saving to buy (and/or renovate) classic cars (which could also be "saved" by not doing it in the first place ) and not on saving to give yourselves a financial cushion or fix up your house. There's nothing wrong with your priority being a car over the place you live in, as long as it works for you/your family, but it is quite a disconnect from the overall tone of MSE which is more towards the frugal side (and emphasises needs over wants, as evidenced by "renting your parking space" being in the motoring section over "how to spend 2k more on a car you just bought and don't need to drive anywhere" ). Hence the (gentle!) pushback on your thread, I think. As I said, if it works for you and your family, great, but it sounds like MrsK would like the bathroom redone, so maybe it doesn't?
    Originally posted by hiddenshadow
    I'm finding being self employed particularly difficult at the moment as my daily motivation is very low. Could hardly drag myself out of bed this morning, let alone find the motivation to do anything which would earn money. There's a part of me that wants to do well in my own right and is really rather embarrassed by the fact my wife and parents pay my way but I can't see a way to make it happen.

    My wife also likes cars but thinks things are getting a little out of hand. Currently we have 6 cars and I suppose I have been indulging 4 of them a little too much as of late. I think we should sell a couple but I can't make my mind up. One of the six is Mrs K's company car, so that obviously cannot go anywhere. I also have my LR which is not being sold. The other four are all classics which I am quite deeply attached to: one I've had for longer than I've known my wife and spent a ridiculous amount of money on, one is just like a car my father had when I was a schoolboy, one is the MG and the final one is an everyday classic saloon which we can use no matter the weather or occasion. They all serve a purpose and I've also seen another car which would be very nice to have too. On the other hand I've not bought a pen for a month or so, though. As for this being money saving, it is because all these things I invest in are appreciating assets.

    Sorry to hear you've not had a good day Alex but I really think sometimes you can be your own worst enemy.

    When you brought up the idea of selling the house and moving, where were you planning to move to? If you're still wanting to move in with your parents I can see why MrsK wasn't receptive.

    MrsK wants a comfortable family home for your family. That's the three of you. I'm you could find a decorative style for the bathroom that would please you both. I think this goes way beyond the bathroom and comes down to the fact that you still see your real home being your parents' house.

    From memory, you wanted the school to search children and maybe even call the police. That just isn't going to happen over a pen, however precious it is to you. It would need to have been something like good evidence over a suspected weapon to bring about this sort of action.

    I think we all have up and down times with finances. Some months there are just more outgoings than others. What would you normally do to make some money?

    Hope today's a better day for you.
    Originally posted by maman
    I know I am, maman. Still can't seem to pull myself away from it, though.

    Yes, moving home but perhaps staying here for another five years. You're right about where I think of as "home". Not sure why my wife should get everything she wants - if we stay here five years longer, she will have been here for nigh on fifteen years at that point. We could then have fifteen years in my parents' house before potentially passing it onto our son and moving away, perhaps to the South of France or Cornwall or somewhere else. I don't really know my long term plans but if she has fifteen years here, surely I should have fifteen years living somewhere I am happy to call "home"?

    I cannot see how an act of theft can be dealt with like this, to be honest. Sentimental value aside, surely had the child stolen £275 from a shop (in cash or goods), it would be dealt with in a very different manner? My mother (who gave me the pencil) thinks I ought not go back.

    The problem is me not being able to face making money. I usually am involved with buying, restoring and selling antique furniture and other antique / collectable items but just cannot face dealing with it and also with customers. I do earn an income from teaching Music also but that is combined with my wife's income to pay our day to day expenses, so not of any help.
    Savings 2016: £9,790.
    £32,000 in debt on 2/9/2013. Debt free on 12/1/2015.
    Saved £11,000 in 2015.

    • Watty1
    • By Watty1 12th Oct 16, 2:47 PM
    • 2,491 Posts
    • 17,593 Thanks
    Watty1
    Alex you are clearly practical and creative so why not buy a cheap white bathroom suite and create???
    have seen a old buffet table sideboard turned into a double sink vanity unit - it was really stunning and lots of other old pieces could be re-purposed. You might also create a room you love and feel the house belonged to you then.
    Mortgage at start of diary Sept 2013: £132,995 Aug 2015 £0
    Overpaying next mortgage. £79,491 now £68801
    • misscousinitt
    • By misscousinitt 12th Oct 16, 4:13 PM
    • 3,365 Posts
    • 18,962 Thanks
    misscousinitt
    Alex you are clearly practical and creative so why not buy a cheap white bathroom suite and create???
    have seen a old buffet table sideboard turned into a double sink vanity unit - it was really stunning and lots of other old pieces could be re-purposed. You might also create a room you love and feel the house belonged to you then.
    Originally posted by Watty1
    Great idea Watty

    MCI
    Mortgage Free x 1 03.11.2012 - House rented out Feb 2016
    Mortgage No 2: £99,090.90 (08.11.2016)
    OP's to Date £2000

    Renovation Fund:£944.75; Kitchen Fund (including re-wiring): £notalotleft; Roof Fund £5000.00
    Nectar Points Balance: £35.49
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