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  • FIRST POST
    • kittie
    • By kittie 27th Feb 15, 5:29 AM
    • 11,585Posts
    • 66,939Thanks
    kittie
    A support thread for the bereaved
    • #1
    • 27th Feb 15, 5:29 AM
    A support thread for the bereaved 27th Feb 15 at 5:29 AM
    I started the thread when I was very suddenly widowed, early 2015. Since then in 20 months I have lost another two much loved family members, so I have been through the mill, everything looked so very bleak at the start of my journey

    Please use the thread if you need help in coping with a close bereavement. That is exactly why the thread was started
    Last edited by kittie; 08-05-2017 at 7:06 AM.
Page 203
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 6th Jan 18, 12:44 AM
    • 10,334 Posts
    • 58,991 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Just keep it up. A little more every few days. Six months this ago I couldld Barely hobble round the house and had to climb the stairs on all fours. Now I can walk for around 45 minutes in one go. I have gradually worked up to around 6k to 7k steps a day. Still not the recommended 10k but a huge improvement.

    There is great film using puppets called “Team America” which takes a Pot shot at Hollywood movies and actors, it’s very rude but very funny. There’s a bit where they take the Micky out of Silvester Stallone and his preparations to get fight ready in “Rocky”. You know the scenes we he runs up and Down the steps oof the Lincoln Memorial. Anway in Team America they send him up something rotten with a song called “You Need a Montage”. A series if clips to show the passage of time and Rocky getting fitter. When I started my walking I would sing “You Need a Montage” to motivate myself .....

    Anyway as I bid my farewell - Speaking of songs - afraid I can’t do proper links so I will leave you with the lyrics of this little ditty by Gracie Fields.

    “Wish me luck when you wave me goodbye
    Cheerio, here I go, on my way
    wish me luck when you wave me goodbye
    Not a tear, but a cheer, make it gay”

    Or how about this from Oliver

    “Cheerio but be back soon, don’t know somehow I’ll miss you
    Remember our old tune, be back soon”

    Lol.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 06-01-2018 at 12:49 AM.
    • iris
    • By iris 6th Jan 18, 9:46 AM
    • 1,087 Posts
    • 3,364 Thanks
    iris
    Hope you have a great holiday/adventure and I am sure we shall all look forward to hearing about it when you get back.

    Iris
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 7th Jan 18, 2:25 PM
    • 1,002 Posts
    • 1,751 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Well my frugal January has gone to the wall. I have a tax bill to pay at the end of the month and it would be nice if I can pay it without taking any money out of savings so as I have so much in the fridge/freezer/cupboard I decided to be really money saving. Well all went well, all I've bought all week was some bread. Yay.

    Well I went to the supermarket yesterday and I fell into temptation. I saw a top which was just what I've been looking for and then saw my favourite shampoo and conditioner was on offer so that was £25 I wasn't planning to spend. Well I needed the top and will need the shampoo and conditioner at some time so all good.

    Well then the phone goes, GC have had a row at home and can they come round. Of course I saw yes but when they arrived they hadn't had dinner and I hadn't got anything they liked other than in the freezer and no time to defrost. So that was a takeaway.

    What a fail of a day and they are still here eating me out of house and home.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 7th Jan 18, 2:30 PM
    • 1,002 Posts
    • 1,751 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    I'm saved. Just checked my TopCashBack account and I've got over £60 ready to go into my bank account. I'm feeling better already.
    • wort
    • By wort 8th Jan 18, 9:39 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 7,835 Thanks
    wort
    Morning all,
    Elona- hope you are ok, did you go to the doctor?
    LL - I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Rotten luck re the flooding, hopefully it will be all dry when you return.
    Purple pixie- I'm hoping to keep spends down now Xmas is out the way, though I have dd2 birthday, sisters 60th this month and then dgson and son in law, In Feb! !! Luckily I don't buy for birthdays apart from big ones in the family. Plus dds and their partners, and not forgetting dgson, I've got his though, from the bay before christmas.

    I got through Christmas, but nyear was another matter. I had a total emotional breakdown , after the midnight shenanigans. I was expecting it , but really would rather have been more private.
    It was family and they understand, but all the same.
    It such a horrible feeling that your loved one is not going to share the future with you. I still keep expecting him home, and the sick feeling that comes when certain things trigger, as people talk of going on holiday, or days out, the rugby season starting and he's not here to take dgson. It really seems like I'm in someone else's life.
    Sorry to drag you down , not many others will understand what it feels like, I'm pleased so many are making plans and keeping busy.
    The house is back to "normal" what ever that is.
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • elona
    • By elona 8th Jan 18, 10:30 AM
    • 11,390 Posts
    • 61,660 Thanks
    elona
    wort

    In a lot of ways you are in someone else's life as this is not what you expected and the years ahead will be so different. I felt cast adrift for a couple of years so don't feel that you should feel a certain way at a certain time and be kind to yourself.

    I hope LL is having a lovely time on her holiday.

    I just weighed myself and I have lost five pounds in a week just by eating more fruit and veg, limiting bread and cooking from scratch. DDs took me out for a walk and the pedometer got up to 5000 steps which is a good start.

    I am getting the bus later to go to U3A and having a quiet morning.

    Hugs to all
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 8th Jan 18, 11:14 AM
    • 1,002 Posts
    • 1,751 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    wort January birthdays should be banned, I've got 3 in January and then 2 in February but have the presents as I usually do them with Christmas shopping because I can't face it in January.

    Elona well done, what a great start.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 9th Jan 18, 1:05 PM
    • 1,002 Posts
    • 1,751 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Elona you inspired me. I normally stop off on my way to pick up GC from school and pick up bread, milk whatever. So this morning I decided to see how many steps it would be to walk to local shop and back. 2,900 steps, now if I did that every morning to get a paper, milk or whatever that would be a big jump in exercise.

    I think the library would be about double the distance so if I do that once a week it will make a difference.

    Come the slightly better weather I think I am going to drive down to the seafront. If I park and walk along the front it would be 4,000 steps, I know that as I've done it before. Then I can promise myself a nice coffee at the little cafe and read the paper, that would be my treat. I'm cutting down on chocolate as well so hopefully by the summer I should have got rid of the 7 lbs I want to lose and be fitter.

    Here's to 2018.
    • wort
    • By wort 10th Jan 18, 6:14 PM
    • 513 Posts
    • 7,835 Thanks
    wort
    well done Elona, you are doing well.

    Purple pixie, bought dd2 s present on the Web today, and sisters delivery came, I picked up a top for son in law. So I feel calmer now.

    Tonight I'm going to yoga, not done it for years, I'm hoping it's not the advanced type! I think the one I did was basic, but I'm giving it a bash! My friends been going for a while and will pick me up, as it's out in the sticks!!
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 10th Jan 18, 6:30 PM
    • 1,002 Posts
    • 1,751 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Well done wort, lovely to get it all sorted.

    I've never done yoga, I'm not very flexible, never have been. People say it might help but I feel like I would just be really bad at it. Hope it goes well.
    • elona
    • By elona 10th Jan 18, 6:48 PM
    • 11,390 Posts
    • 61,660 Thanks
    elona
    I like the idea of yoga but know that even if I got myself to the floor it would take a couple of people to heave me to my feet

    Have just walked back from the library and resisted the siren call of the chippie. My pedometer is nearly 6000 steps so pooped but pleased.

    Hugs to all
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 11th Jan 18, 2:33 PM
    • 1,002 Posts
    • 1,751 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Oooooh chips.
    • wort
    • By wort 11th Jan 18, 4:47 PM
    • 513 Posts
    • 7,835 Thanks
    wort
    I enjoyed the yoga and have paid for the next 5. I got back at 9 PM, in time for quick change and make it to pub quiz, I go with my 2 sisters and sil and niece. It's only a pound and we do 5 rounds, we won 1 round and got £5. And a drink voucher for £5. The money goes into a kitty and we get a night or 2 out !
    I'm a bit aching today unused muscles been stretched but I think keeping flexibility is important as we get older.
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • elona
    • By elona 12th Jan 18, 10:50 AM
    • 11,390 Posts
    • 61,660 Thanks
    elona
    wort

    You are being very sensible and the social side is good too. I am going to plod on with healthy eating and keeping an eye on my pedometer every day hoping that the combination will do me good.

    Youngest dd is driving up from Liverpool as it is her birthday and staying over the weekend. We are going out tonight for a birthday meal , tomorrow she and BF are going out for the day and I might cook a lasagne for the evening and get in a beef joint for Sunday.

    Not sure if other dds, sil and bf are staying over for any of the weekend but all the beds are freshly made so will just take things in stride.

    Hugs to all
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • wort
    • By wort 14th Jan 18, 5:03 PM
    • 513 Posts
    • 7,835 Thanks
    wort
    Elona I hope you enjoy the meal.
    My dds partner invited me to join them for a birthday meal ,which was lovely both dds were there and their partners , 2 other couples, and dgson and his " step sister".
    I'm working tomorrow instead of Tuesday as dd1 paid for a spa day for Xmas for me and I'm going with dd2 whom she got as birthday present.
    I'm looking forward to the spa we get 2 treatments and afternoon tea included.
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • elona
    • By elona 14th Jan 18, 5:16 PM
    • 11,390 Posts
    • 61,660 Thanks
    elona
    wort

    Enjoy the spa.

    The birthday meal was delicious and I really enjoyed it. Spent the last three days with most of the the family popping in for meals and some of them staying over which I thoroughly enjoyed.

    Everyone left this afternoon so bedding is in the washing machine, dishwasher has been loaded and I am watching telly with my feet up.
    Bliss!
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • wort
    • By wort 17th Jan 18, 11:03 AM
    • 513 Posts
    • 7,835 Thanks
    wort
    The spa was lovely, and nice to spend some time with dd2.
    Yesterday evening 1 of my friends invited us round , there were 4 of us and we had a good chat a glass of prosecco and crisp. Then a cuppa or two of tea and a flake. They are such good friends and we had a laugh, and put the world to rights!!
    Tonight is yoga and quiz again, gosh the weeks fly over don't they !
    Dd1 dropped some of hubby's paperwork off at the weekend so I'm going to go through it now and file it.
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • elona
    • By elona 18th Jan 18, 2:20 PM
    • 11,390 Posts
    • 61,660 Thanks
    elona
    wort

    I am glad you enjoyed the spa and time with dd and then with friends.

    I had a neighbour pop round for a coffee yesterday just before I set off to volunteer at the library. It has taken me a couple of days to get to grips with getting all the laundry washed and dried. I made a large pot of lamb stew which has now gone and have a home made lasagne defrosting for tonight.

    Cleaner has come to give me a hand with beds etc and house is looking much better. Dishwasher is cleaning up the pots from last night and kitchen is tidy A delivery from appro"ed foods has just arrive so I will get that unpacked and put away in the next half hour.

    I saw a "tidying" segment on telly which mentioned skinny velvet hangers which take up much less space in the wardrobe so ordered some which make a real difference in sorting out my wardrobe so have ordered some more.

    Going to phone a dd later and see if she fancies going to see a film tomorrow and I am having a lazy day today after a busy weekend.

    Hugs to all.
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • wort
    • By wort 18th Jan 18, 5:27 PM
    • 513 Posts
    • 7,835 Thanks
    wort
    A lot of people recommend those hangers Elona, sometimes they have them in tkmaxx .I have heaps of space in my wardrobes now, I have wardrobes in 3 bedrooms ,and now it's just me plus I've kondoed loads, I did think of getting rid of the ones in my room. Unfortunately when we had new carpets a couple of years ago they cut around them . I can't afford to replace the carpet. So will keep the wardrobes.

    Very cold today ,I was glad to get home from work knowing I didn't have to go back out tonight. I have my pjs on already!!
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • elona
    • By elona 18th Jan 18, 5:48 PM
    • 11,390 Posts
    • 61,660 Thanks
    elona
    wort

    I have been having such a busy few days I decided to have a lazy day today in my nice plush new dressing gown and feel quite decadent
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
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