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  • FIRST POST
    • kittie
    • By kittie 27th Feb 15, 5:29 AM
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    kittie
    A support thread for the bereaved
    • #1
    • 27th Feb 15, 5:29 AM
    A support thread for the bereaved 27th Feb 15 at 5:29 AM
    I started the thread when I was very suddenly widowed, early 2015. Since then in 20 months I have lost another two much loved family members, so I have been through the mill, everything looked so very bleak at the start of my journey

    Please use the thread if you need help in coping with a close bereavement. That is exactly why the thread was started
    Last edited by kittie; 08-05-2017 at 7:06 AM.
Page 196
    • wort
    • By wort 23rd Sep 17, 11:17 AM
    • 368 Posts
    • 6,554 Thanks
    wort
    Elona , I didn't realise there was a new Kingsman film out, I really enjoyed the 1st. We watched it on the plane coming home from holiday. I hope you have an enjoyable day with your family, it's always nice if you aren't tied to the cooker!
    LL glad the steroid has improved your joints, I've been hoping to get back to yoga, I did it years ago ,fairly basic but loved it.one of my friends goes to a class, and my other friend says shed like to go so we are going to try it together. Just waiting for the new course to start.
    Due to go away today, and still sat in pjs.with grandson, so I shall go for a shower.
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
    • elona
    • By elona 23rd Sep 17, 11:58 AM
    • 11,202 Posts
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    elona
    wort

    Have a nice time while you are away.

    I am trying to plan things so I am not tied to the cooker. I just need to make a white sauce later and assemble the lasagne ready to bake.
    If I cook the beef and mushroom base this afternoon then there is only potato pastry to make tomorrow morning as a topping for the pie.
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • jaybee
    • By jaybee 25th Sep 17, 10:39 AM
    • 1,401 Posts
    • 2,546 Thanks
    jaybee
    The garage has just come and collected his car.
    The undertaker just 'phoned to say that his ashes are ready to be collected.
    I am a wreck.
    This too will pass . . . .
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 25th Sep 17, 11:20 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Oh dear........just one of those days that come at you all at once.

    Hold on, it WILL pass.

    Sending virtual hugs. X
    • itsanne
    • By itsanne 25th Sep 17, 1:52 PM
    • 4,502 Posts
    • 10,400 Thanks
    itsanne
    You will get through this, jaybee. It will pass, though it's grim till it does. Hang on in there.
    . . .I did not speak out

    Then they came for me
    And there was no one left
    To speak out for me..

    Martin Niemoller
    • jaybee
    • By jaybee 25th Sep 17, 2:36 PM
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    jaybee
    Thanks LessonLearned and Itsanne. I better now - I think was all just too much on top of a sleepless night! Two hours is not enough - even though I am normally a poor sleeper and can get by on very little.
    • elona
    • By elona 26th Sep 17, 11:25 AM
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    elona
    jaybee

    I hope you have had a good (or slightly better) nights sleep and feel stronger for it. You had two reminders of loss at the same time so anyone would wobble at that.

    LL

    I saw a specialist yesterday and blood tests are going to be done to check if it is rheumatoid arthritis. The reduction in pain recently looks as if it is due to inflammation having gone down but when it gets inflamed again I am likely to need injections in both knees. I felt like such a fraud as the level of ache I have now I can handle and would not have gone to a gp with. Back to healthier eating and trying to walk a bit more while I can.

    Hugs to all
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • jaybee
    • By jaybee 26th Sep 17, 1:27 PM
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    jaybee
    Thank you Elona - I did have a much better night's sleep and didn't wake up until 4:30 (which is good for me)!!

    Took myself off to a garden centre this morning and it was full on Christmas!!!!
    • elona
    • By elona 26th Sep 17, 5:47 PM
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    elona
    jaybee

    I used to think it was bad enough when stores started Christmas displays in mid October but that is even worse.

    I am glad you slept better as lack of a decent sleep makes everything worse.
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • jaybee
    • By jaybee 26th Sep 17, 7:32 PM
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    jaybee
    It was a bit of a culture shock!

    I'm really hoping that Christmas won't exist this year for me. Not really a fan anyway - it's different if you have small children and so on. I am making a concerted effort to record some programmes and reserve some books (never a problem as I am more of a reader than a film watcher).

    I have also ordered myself an electric blanket and a new lightweight (7tog) duvet with the thought of making a comfortable winter 'nest' for myself! Oh, I also managed to add a new duvet cover to the order as well.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 26th Sep 17, 7:33 PM
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    lessonlearned
    My son works in a garden centre. He’s been in Christmas mode for weeks now, putting up displays. He started building the scaffolding etc about 3 months ago.

    They actually start planning the floor space straight after Easter, sometimes earlier. They order Christmas stuff at least a year ahead. The dept head is usually 18 months ahead of herself, attending exhibitions, seeing suppliers, working out themes and concepts. It’s like a military operation. My son started clearing warehouse space for Christmas and accepting deliveries of stock before Easter.

    Same with summer.......BBQS, garden furniture etc.......they start next years plans just as soon as this years Christmas stuff is out. They are on it already. In fact he has just picked up an amazing bargain BBQ that they wanted to offload to free up space for next years stock.

    It’s the same all across the retail sector. The logistics are incredible, 12 to 18 month lead times are the norm.

    I once watched a documentary about Libertys. They start planning their Christmas window displays in January. I think most of the big department stores do the same.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 26th Sep 17, 7:45 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Jaybee. You are doing the right thing, getting ready for winter. I have started Hygge already. I love it.

    I’m currently watching “London has Fallen”, snuggled up under a fur throw, with a glass of wine and some dark chocolate. Purely medicinal.

    I actually love Christmas, even though I do miss my husband very much. .....I think of it as a beacon of light and warmth in the depth of winter. A time for people to have a little break and a bit of feasting and merriment. We don’t go on a spend fest but we do make the most the festive season, just chilling out and spending time together.

    It has a bitter sweet quality now of course but I do still like to keep the spirit of Christmas alive.
    • jaybee
    • By jaybee 26th Sep 17, 8:07 PM
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    jaybee
    I do sort of like Christmas - as in the 'perfect' magazine style Christmas where everything is perfect. It's the reality I can't cope with - too commercial etc. I will do my own version with candles and Hygge - smiled salmon rather than turkey and so on . . . most likely a lot of 'reflection' which I am probably better doing on my own . . .
    • iris
    • By iris 27th Sep 17, 7:42 AM
    • 1,085 Posts
    • 3,361 Thanks
    iris
    I do sort of like Christmas - as in the 'perfect' magazine style Christmas where everything is perfect. It's the reality I can't cope with - too commercial etc. I will do my own version with candles and Hygge - smiled salmon rather than turkey and so on . . . most likely a lot of 'reflection' which I am probably better doing on my own . . .
    Originally posted by jaybee
    This made me smile
    • elona
    • By elona 27th Sep 17, 11:58 AM
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    • 59,415 Thanks
    elona
    I think I might be having three dds, a son in law and maybe one or two of their boyfriends over Christmas. DDs are determined to organise it with military precision and want to help with cooking etc. so will go with the flow.

    I think musclefoods are doing a selection of foods that can be delivered and save me time and stress so will try to do as much as I can online well beforehand and give me the chance to relax and enjoy the company. I think the company also offer veg so that could be a real help.

    I am not aiming for perfect or anything near - just good food and company and a relaxed atmosphere with a walk out now and then , board games and maybe a special tv programme if everyone fancies the idea. Rather than buy a lot of nibbles I would rather make my own mini quiches, potato rosti, blinis etc.

    I fancy the idea of making a patchwork lap quilt out of a spare single duvet but need to shorten and hand sew the living room curtains first.
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • jaybee
    • By jaybee 27th Sep 17, 1:01 PM
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    • 2,546 Thanks
    jaybee
    This made me smile
    Originally posted by iris
    Whoops! I think I shall call it that from now on!
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 28th Sep 17, 2:25 PM
    • 678 Posts
    • 1,210 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Decided to follow Martin's tip and get some wine from Sainsbury's. Did a click and collect so no delivery charge, bought six bottles of wine so got 25% off them and then £18 off the shopping. Got the wine for £2 something a bottle and that is the start of my Christmas shopping. Nice little present for some people and no hassle.

    I know it seems silly really but I want to get Christmas "done" and all the presents wrapped, as the family grows with DIL Sil and GC it gets more expensive and complicated every year. The older GC, almost teenagers, are into fashion so I think I am going to offer to take them shopping and let them pick some stuff, I know what it will be as they love their Nike hoodies and t shirts but if that is what they want then I don't mind.

    Think I am going to do a list but mustn't forget I have some birthdays to sort out first.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 29th Sep 17, 10:30 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Well what a day....grey miserable and wet.

    I have to pop into town to pick up some Euro’s and buy myself a cheap watch. I broke my good one yesterday, not sure if it’s fixable. Probably cost more to have it fixed than buying another.

    Depending on how I’d feel and anterior not the place is heaving I might have a little mooch round the shops and perhaps a coffee or light lunch. If it’s crowded I won’t bother.

    Yesterday I had a lovely day. It was glorious weather so I went to a local marina, had lunch outside watching the world go by. Picked up a nice lamp from one of the little designer Type shops, not too expensive. Pinched some dried seed head things on stalks growing along the tow path. I think they are called teazles, not sure, have stuck them in large floor vase in the kitchen. They look nice and they were free.

    In the evening watched Thelma and Louise with a nice easy supper of stir fry veggies and chilli prawns. So a nice lazy indulgent day. Spent a few pennies but didn’t break the bank.

    Hope you are all ok.

    PP great wine bargains there.
    • elona
    • By elona 29th Sep 17, 11:55 AM
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    • 59,415 Thanks
    elona
    LL

    The decorative ideas sound lovely. It is pouring with rain here and an electrician has just left with a new outside porch light fitting ordered for next week. I have chosen a much more modern light as the old one was a bit dingy and old fashioned.

    Middle dd is coming over tomorrow lunchtime and we might do a bit of browsing round the shops before she sets off in the evening to meet friends.

    Will brave the rain later to get some bread and a few bits and bobs.

    Hugs to all
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • wort
    • By wort 3rd Oct 17, 10:23 AM
    • 368 Posts
    • 6,554 Thanks
    wort
    Hi all, hope everyone is feeling ok.
    Back from holiday, it was very quiet, a lovely small place.
    I only had one tsunami, and a couple of surreptitious tears well hidden by sunglasses I hope. Coming in to a cold and empty house in the early morning was horrible, so took myself straight to bed. The cat seems to have missed me ,he's been meowing and cuddling lots

    I'm thinking of starting back to work next week. I don't know if I'm ready, but not sure I'll ever know !!
    My Dr's note runs out Monday, and I've been sent a letter asking to go in work ,re being off so long/ getting me back. That is for Monday , I am going to ring as I don't see the point of meeting the day before I return anyway?!
    I can't believe it's 3 months since hubby died now, it's been a blur, I sort of see that I'm never going to get back to how I used to be, and that I have to get used to a "new" normal.
    Not thinking of christmas yet, it should be my turn to host sisters family usually about 12 or so of us .
    She did say she'd do it this year, but I can't think so far yet.
    I work in retail so no doubt all this is being put in place at the moment.
    I watched the liberty s programme LL, it was interesting wasn't it.
    Elona I hope it's not rheumatoid arthritis, and the pain continues to ease.
    Last edited by wort; 03-10-2017 at 10:24 AM. Reason: Grammer
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
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