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  • FIRST POST
    • kittie
    • By kittie 27th Feb 15, 5:29 AM
    • 10,678Posts
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    kittie
    A support thread for the bereaved
    • #1
    • 27th Feb 15, 5:29 AM
    A support thread for the bereaved 27th Feb 15 at 5:29 AM
    I started the thread when I was very suddenly widowed, early 2015. Since then in 20 months I have lost another two much loved family members, so I have been through the mill, everything looked so very bleak at the start of my journey

    Please use the thread if you need help in coping with a close bereavement. That is exactly why the thread was started
    Last edited by kittie; 08-05-2017 at 7:06 AM.
Page 178
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 7th Jun 17, 12:58 PM
    • 9,604 Posts
    • 53,856 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Hi Julie.....glad to see you posting, even if you do feel dreadful. It's still good to from hear from you.

    I think the DWP payment took about 6 weeks. They do have a special bereavement team so if you don't hear soon, then maybe you could ring them. I found them extremely kind and helpful.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 7th Jun 17, 3:43 PM
    • 363 Posts
    • 740 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Does anyone know how long it takes to get a funeral payment from the DWP ? I have given them all the infp they need and they said they would write 'soon' the funeral was on the 16th May. I applied about a week before this. they are so slow with everything, I cant find any info on the website either.
    I feel the same today as i do every day, just waiting to join him as I don't want to do anything here. only what I have to do. there is no pleasure in anything. I used to love cooking, gardening, entering competitions and I used to get lots of pleasure from my pets but not anymore, don't get me wrong they are not neglected but I just go through the motions now.
    Originally posted by juliethemuse
    Julie, I'm sorry things are so hard for you. I don't know about funeral payments but I hope that is sorted out soon, it doesn't help to have extra stresses at this time.
    • itsanne
    • By itsanne 9th Jun 17, 4:21 PM
    • 4,485 Posts
    • 10,337 Thanks
    itsanne
    How are you today, Julie?
    . . .I did not speak out

    Then they came for me
    And there was no one left
    To speak out for me..

    Martin Niemoller
    • juliethemuse
    • By juliethemuse 10th Jun 17, 10:20 AM
    • 635 Posts
    • 2,935 Thanks
    juliethemuse
    I have been better, but thanks for asking.
    I have got the payment, but it says they are sending the money directly to the FDs. that's good but I have just rung them and they haven't got anything yet. maybe I'm being too impatient but I just want it all sorting out.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 10th Jun 17, 11:01 AM
    • 9,604 Posts
    • 53,856 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Good morning Julie......sending you virtual hugs.

    Glad you've got the bereavement payment sorted out. At least you can cross that off the list now.

    Dreadful day here.

    Just been to see a bungalow......I think this is the one. Of course it's right at the top of my budget and it needs money spending on it, although it is liveable.

    EA says there might be a bit of wriggle room on the price...., so keeping my fingers crossed.

    Right got a load of paperwork to do, phone calls to make, plus I need to finish the kitchen cupboard sort out.

    But first brunch and a cup of coffee.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 10th Jun 17, 12:41 PM
    • 363 Posts
    • 740 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    I have been better, but thanks for asking.
    I have got the payment, but it says they are sending the money directly to the FDs. that's good but I have just rung them and they haven't got anything yet. maybe I'm being too impatient but I just want it all sorting out.
    Originally posted by juliethemuse
    I would think the FD's are used to dealing with this, were they reassuring? I hope so and great that you know it is almost sorted.
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 10th Jun 17, 12:50 PM
    • 28,967 Posts
    • 53,885 Thanks
    seven-day-weekend
    Good morning Julie......sending you virtual hugs.

    Glad you've got the bereavement payment sorted out. At least you can cross that off the list now.

    Dreadful day here.

    Just been to see a bungalow......I think this is the one. Of course it's right at the top of my budget and it needs money spending on it, although it is liveable.

    EA says there might be a bit of wriggle room on the price...., so keeping my fingers crossed.

    Right got a load of paperwork to do, phone calls to make, plus I need to finish the kitchen cupboard sort out.

    But first brunch and a cup of coffee.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Oh! Exciting!! Piccies please!!
    To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten it
    'I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because I see everything by it': C.S. Lewis
    St. Augustine — 'In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.'
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 10th Jun 17, 1:48 PM
    • 9,604 Posts
    • 53,856 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Oh! Exciting!! Piccies please!!
    Originally posted by seven-day-weekend
    Will do - once it's mine......!!!

    Don't want to jinx my chances. Lol
    • juliethemuse
    • By juliethemuse 10th Jun 17, 4:52 PM
    • 635 Posts
    • 2,935 Thanks
    juliethemuse
    I would think the FD's are used to dealing with this, were they reassuring? I hope so and great that you know it is almost sorted.
    Originally posted by thepurplepixie
    Not really, she said they had not recieved anything and would I like to pay the full ammount now? what a stupid thing to ask. whats the point of me paying the full balance when the letter says I am getting a grant towards it? that would just mean them getting paid twice.
    • thepurplepixie
    • By thepurplepixie 10th Jun 17, 6:18 PM
    • 363 Posts
    • 740 Thanks
    thepurplepixie
    Not really, she said they had not recieved anything and would I like to pay the full ammount now? what a stupid thing to ask. whats the point of me paying the full balance when the letter says I am getting a grant towards it? that would just mean them getting paid twice.
    Originally posted by juliethemuse
    Very silly response, you would think they would be used to dealing with people sensitively. I hope the payment arrives soon.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 11th Jun 17, 7:00 AM
    • 12,560 Posts
    • 34,363 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention

    Just been to see a bungalow......I think this is the one. Of course it's right at the top of my budget and it needs money spending on it, although it is liveable.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Coming up against the S*ds Law then - ie that the house one wants is always bang up against the top of budget (if not over...). I know that one - for my first house I could afford a one bedroom flat, but what I actually bought was a 2 bedroom house(thankfully in the event - as that was the right decision....).

    Fingers crossed for you that this works out.

    Re needing work - and I don't think you'd be happy with it unless it needed a bit of work - and you've got A Project and can put your personal touch on it.

    Good luck.
    ******************
    • elona
    • By elona 11th Jun 17, 7:26 AM
    • 10,970 Posts
    • 57,149 Thanks
    elona
    LL

    I am so pleased that you have seen something you like. As money says , it will give you a project and something positive to focus on.

    You will soon have it as a lovely welcoming home. Fingers crossed for you.
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 12th Jun 17, 3:07 PM
    • 9,604 Posts
    • 53,856 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Saw a better bungalow this morning. Bigger, cheaper, less work....but a bit further away from "civilisation". Decisions.

    They are a bit like buses.......nothing for ages and then two come along at once.

    2nd viewings booked for tomorrow, taking DS2 with me as a second pair of eyes.

    Hope you are all as well as can be.
    • warby68
    • By warby68 12th Jun 17, 3:10 PM
    • 758 Posts
    • 8,463 Thanks
    warby68
    Location is usually everything LL

    Good luck
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 12th Jun 17, 3:13 PM
    • 9,604 Posts
    • 53,856 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Location is usually everything LL

    Good luck
    Originally posted by warby68


    So they say.......

    But the one "away from civilisation" has its own cute little stream included in the huuuuuge garden. .

    How cool is that.
    • warby68
    • By warby68 12th Jun 17, 3:15 PM
    • 758 Posts
    • 8,463 Thanks
    warby68
    Cool but sure as heck impractical when you are aiming for future proof (unless future includes live in groundsman)

    You can call me the 'voice of reason' or'misery guts' - I don't mind which
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 12th Jun 17, 3:35 PM
    • 9,604 Posts
    • 53,856 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Cool but sure as heck impractical when you are aiming for future proof (unless future includes live in groundsman)

    You can call me the 'voice of reason' or'misery guts' - I don't mind which
    Originally posted by warby68
    Ooh I don't I know...........I could quite see myself as Lady Chatterley.......

    Only joking.

    I was thinking that as I probably wouldn't be able to afford a hunky gardener I could maybe buy one of those sassy little ride on lawn mowers.......

    It Could double up as a mobility scooter.
    • dorothy52
    • By dorothy52 12th Jun 17, 4:55 PM
    • 434 Posts
    • 1,465 Thanks
    dorothy52
    Ooh I don't I know...........I could quite see myself as Lady Chatterley.......

    Only joking.

    I was thinking that as I probably wouldn't be able to afford a hunky gardener I could maybe buy one of those sassy little ride on lawn mowers.......

    It Could double up as a mobility scooter.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Oooooh LL I love the sound of this one, I can feel your excitement. We had a beautiful pond in our garden, but blimey it was high maintenance. Filled it in and liberated the koi carp when the grand kids came along........miss it though
    • seven-day-weekend
    • By seven-day-weekend 12th Jun 17, 5:08 PM
    • 28,967 Posts
    • 53,885 Thanks
    seven-day-weekend
    Location is usually everything LL

    Good luck
    Originally posted by warby68
    I agree. Especially as you get older, you need 'civilisation'. You need to be able to get to the shops and the Dr's and be on a decent bus route.

    So think carefully before making the decision, maybe the second one is only cheaper because of the location.

    (And the stream will probably flood).
    Last edited by seven-day-weekend; 12-06-2017 at 5:14 PM.
    To love someone is to learn the song in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten it
    'I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because I see everything by it': C.S. Lewis
    St. Augustine — 'In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.'
    • irishjohn
    • By irishjohn 12th Jun 17, 5:15 PM
    • 1,239 Posts
    • 1,926 Thanks
    irishjohn


    So they say.......

    But the one "away from civilisation" has its own cute little stream included in the huuuuuge garden. .

    How cool is that.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    Very Cool - but what about the bus service? or the taxi fare ?
    John
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