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  • FIRST POST
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 6th Nov 14, 4:53 PM
    • 8,014Posts
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    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Three choices in life; Give up, Give in or Give all you've got!!
    • #1
    • 6th Nov 14, 4:53 PM
    Three choices in life; Give up, Give in or Give all you've got!! 6th Nov 14 at 4:53 PM
    This is my 2nd diary on MSE. My first diary, "When I asked for luck I didn't mean the bad variety!!" has to be closed as it's reached over 5000 posts!! It can be found here;

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=3911061

    In 2011 my Husband had a motorcycle accident resulting in a severe brain injury, memory problems and Epilepsy. Unfortunately he is getting worse not better and I am now his full time Carer, which can be challenging, but I'm ever grateful he is still here! I also have 2 boys aged 10 and almost 5, a part time job and I'm currently a Beaver Leader but I've just given notice to leave at Christmas (as much as it pains me!) as I just can't manage that too. The last 3.5 years have been hard going for lots of reasons, but worth it. Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day!!

    At the time of the accident we owed over £23,700 on credit cards and we currently owe just over £3000. Hopefully this diary will see us getting debt free forever! I hope you'll join me.

    Lucky Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
Page 168
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 17th May 17, 6:05 PM
    • 8,014 Posts
    • 44,107 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Stabbed with scissors????!!
    Originally posted by brizzledfw
    He thought my dressing should be trimmed. I said it didn't. He got the scissors, I said please leave it. He went to cut it and jabbed my wound instead. I said rude words .
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 17th May 17, 8:47 PM
    • 8,014 Posts
    • 44,107 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Got Home Insurance down to £83 for the year .

    £70 saved, happy dance
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 17th May 17, 9:31 PM
    • 46,543 Posts
    • 165,409 Thanks
    beanielou
    Stabbed with scissors????!!

    Glad you're taking a turn for the better
    Originally posted by brizzledfw
    From me too.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 18th May 17, 4:26 PM
    • 5,211 Posts
    • 15,272 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    OMG PLMBL, I don't think we would be shocked if you had stabbed him back let alone said rude words

    Yay to the home insurance xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £7586.76 - 31/05/17 - 67.25% paid off
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 18th May 17, 7:50 PM
    • 8,014 Posts
    • 44,107 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    He's getting on my every last nerve today Mummy, so there's time yet!!!! Feeling very wound up and DH keeps asking me the same questions and telling me the same things. Don't know how much more I can take .

    Limp less obvious today and wound a lot 'drier' . I threw up in the night though . Feeling very tired and emotional.
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
    • brizzledfw
    • By brizzledfw 18th May 17, 8:13 PM
    • 6,915 Posts
    • 33,181 Thanks
    brizzledfw
    That does sound like an infection. Sleep well this eve x
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal
    July '17 Savings Rate Goal: 33% [June 30%]
    Declutter 100 items before 31.07.17 02/100 ** LSDs Target 10 for July 01/10 **AFDs 17/25 ** Sales Target '17 £750 £140 so far
    **NSDs Target 5 for July 03/05 Trying to be a Frugalista
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 18th May 17, 8:28 PM
    • 4,020 Posts
    • 20,998 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Glad things are sounding better with your ankle, apart from the stabbing of course. You must get so fed up of things going wrong. I know how you feel with Mr Lucky getting on your nerves, Mr SA is just the same - so frustrating! Flipping brain injuries I have some days when I take it in my stride then others when I think why me, I know you'll feel the same.

    Take care and get some rest xx
    Virtual Sealed Pot £424.05
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 18th May 17, 9:02 PM
    • 8,014 Posts
    • 44,107 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    I have some days when I take it in my stride then others when I think why me, I know you'll feel the same.
    Originally posted by Sun Addict
    Exactly this ^^^^^.

    Earlier DH asked me several times about what time he'd woken up and the exact movements of this morning. When I got frustrated at about the sixth time of him asking, he said "sorry, I'm just trying to remember". I thought no, you are just asking me AGAIN what happened. It may not sound like much, but right in that moment I was just fed up of forever being the fountain of information and just wanted to be left alone. Don't know if what I'm trying to say is coming across (or if I just sound like a horrible bag), but I just feel like I'm always on duty.

    Think I'm just tired Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 18th May 17, 10:21 PM
    • 46,543 Posts
    • 165,409 Thanks
    beanielou
    You do a sterling job under very difficult circumstances & dont forget it.:angel:
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bexxie
    • By Bexxie 19th May 17, 12:23 AM
    • 3 Posts
    • 21 Thanks
    Bexxie
    Lucky, get a diary with half pages, or a notebook. When this happens again, write it down and tell him as you write it. You'll prolly have to tell him to read it several times, but won't have to recount the day several times. You don't need to do it each day, just when he asks.

    Also you could put the onus on him to write what he does down as he does it in his phone or this book. He should be learning management to deal with the memory problems, or should know of some already. Does he remember that he has memory problems, or is he oblivious?
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 19th May 17, 4:23 PM
    • 5,211 Posts
    • 15,272 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Hope your feeling better today PLMBL xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £7586.76 - 31/05/17 - 67.25% paid off
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 19th May 17, 7:12 PM
    • 8,014 Posts
    • 44,107 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Lucky, get a diary with half pages, or a notebook. When this happens again, write it down and tell him as you write it. You'll prolly have to tell him to read it several times, but won't have to recount the day several times. You don't need to do it each day, just when he asks.

    Also you could put the onus on him to write what he does down as he does it in his phone or this book. He should be learning management to deal with the memory problems, or should know of some already. Does he remember that he has memory problems, or is he oblivious?
    Originally posted by Bexxie
    Hi Bexxie,

    DH is usually very aware of his memory problems, apart from the days when he doesn't even know who or where he is, never mind anything else!

    He has notes on his phone but forgets to look at them. Sometimes I think he asks/says things to fill in silence. For all he can't deal with excessive noise, I don't think he copes well with pauses either - or he just has verbal diarrhoea!!!

    I know SA's hubby has a whiteboard and that seems a good idea. The other problem Mr Lucky has though is even prompts won't bring things back once forgotten. For example, most people will see a photograph and remember it being taken or something about the day. DH doesn't experience that any more. Once it's gone, it's gone.

    The notepad idea is a good one, thank you Xx

    The
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 19th May 17, 7:18 PM
    • 8,014 Posts
    • 44,107 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Thank you Beanie and Mummy Xx

    Feeling a bit better today in terms of mood. Still tired and sore though.

    Dog cage has sold . £30 into the Florida pot .
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 19th May 17, 7:48 PM
    • 46,543 Posts
    • 165,409 Thanks
    beanielou
    Florida pot coming along very nicely
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 19th May 17, 9:42 PM
    • 4,020 Posts
    • 20,998 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Sounds like Bexxie has experience of dealing with brain injuries, some good ideas there. Can recommend the whiteboard - this is what the OT recommended for Mr SA and it works well for him. I've got a list from the hospital with tips for working with someone with a brain injury which is really good, if I can find a way to scan and share I will.

    Glad you're feeling more upbeat and that the Florida pot is growing nicely. Won't be long until you're there Hope you get some relaxation time in between the theme parks etc.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £424.05
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • Bexxie
    • By Bexxie 20th May 17, 9:58 AM
    • 3 Posts
    • 21 Thanks
    Bexxie
    Sounds like Bexxie has experience of dealing with brain injuries, some good ideas there. Can recommend the whiteboard - this is what the OT recommended for Mr SA and it works well for him. I've got a list from the hospital with tips for working with someone with a brain injury which is really good, if I can find a way to scan and share I will.
    Originally posted by Sun Addict
    Hello, yeah sorry I should've said. I've PM'd Lucky a couple times, but not on this account. I keep getting the daily digest, but when I did a password request for my email, it sent me this account, and I know I had another one that I've used. (Becca, if that helps with Lucky)

    Hi Bexxie,

    DH is usually very aware of his memory problems, apart from the days when he doesn't even know who or where he is, never mind anything else!

    He has notes on his phone but forgets to look at them. Sometimes I think he asks/says things to fill in silence. For all he can't deal with excessive noise, I don't think he copes well with pauses either - or he just has verbal diarrhoea!!!

    I know SA's hubby has a whiteboard and that seems a good idea. The other problem Mr Lucky has though is even prompts won't bring things back once forgotten. For example, most people will see a photograph and remember it being taken or something about the day. DH doesn't experience that any more. Once it's gone, it's gone.

    The notepad idea is a good one, thank you Xx

    The
    Originally posted by please-let-me-be-lucky
    I understand it'll never work as a reminder, but it's more trying to do things about easing your life. He may have that Brain Injury, but you live with the effects of it, along with your kids, and whilst it's me that has it, I have disabled mum who I find hard regarding memory problems as well. We're only human, and it does get frustrating, embarrassingly so. I feel I should be able to manage with that as well, but I don't all the times.. I've taken to writing things down, even as a reference for later. Whether I remember it's context later, maybe, maybe not, worth a try though

    I think part of the thing about memory and brain injuries is that people say to someone to write a note, it'll help so much, but if your brain bypasses that a) you've written this note, then b) where this note was written following with c) what was I doing again? Then throw in what I call Shiny Things. *Insert distraction* Ooh, there's that (shiny thing) that I meant to do/call/talk/write/eat/etc and I can be days before I do another note.

    A white board is a good idea, pretty big, fairly hard to miss, easy to direct to, and kids can get on board with it as well. Family organiser! I've managed to work with calender on my gadgets, so they go through all the devices when I add events, but unless I'm looking at said device at the right time for reminders, it's hard to remember. i wish we could have a device that was on the wall like an old calender, but connected to the others. That'd help me a lot.
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 21st May 17, 8:49 AM
    • 8,014 Posts
    • 44,107 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    DH is exactly the same re 'shiny things' Bex! It doesn't take much at all to throw him off course/stop him listening. Once again, thank you for your balanced view point from the 'other side'. Xx

    So, yesterday .

    Started with DH and DS1 play fighting. This ended with DS1 landing on top of a chair on his back and he now has a huge bruise/graze down the back of his ribs . Lots of tears and paracetamol/TLC needed, with DH feeling miserable and guilty even though it was an accident.

    Next, found out via FB that a party was happening yesterday that DS2 had been invited to, but the Mum hadn't text me the details as she'd said she would. Mad dash out to get a present and a card

    Collected Mum and partner from airport. She gave me £10 for doing so, will add to Florida pot .

    DS1 was then invited trampolining with a friend. He went despite being 'at deaths door' earlier due to the chair incident. Thankfully friend's Dad picked him up and brought him back. Cost £10 but he was happy.

    Got DS2 to the party .

    Went to work even though ankle wasn't up to it. Got there to a chorus of "we didn't think you'd be in!!" and "why on earth are you here when you are still poorly?!". Couldn't miss my last shift though, could I?! Except it wasn't my last shift . Boss apparently denied he'd told me I could go Seasonal, and then back tracked when my colleagues stuck up for me by saying they were there when he said it. He then said he'd heard I might not be able to go seasonal as I don't do enough hours, and could I give him a week to 'iron it out' so he could let me know when I came in next week if I was going Seasonal or just quitting!!! I could've cried. I'd limped round for 2 hours at this point for sweet FA. I was more annoyed with myself though for not being brave enough to just telling him to stick it. Will phone the Union tomorrow and see where I stand. Sick of doing everything 'right', putting myself out and getting nothing in return. I feel walked all over .
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
    • pennywisepoundstupid
    • By pennywisepoundstupid 21st May 17, 9:43 AM
    • 4,156 Posts
    • 12,251 Thanks
    pennywisepoundstupid
    Sending hugs, work can be totally carp sometimes, just focus on Florida and the amazing time your going to have.x.

    Hope DS is ok, mine decided to punch his TV last night because he was losing at Fifa, it's completely f***** and gone in the bin, I could of killed him but I think the biggest lesson for him will be not being able to play as I refuse to let him use the main tv. HE Better start saving if he wants a new one.
    Last edited by pennywisepoundstupid; 21-05-2017 at 9:46 AM.
    Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the Universe."
    Dave Ramsey babystep 1-£1000 Emergency fund- save £250/£200[/COLOR]
    School uniform £250/£250
    Save for summer £500/£355
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 21st May 17, 1:37 PM
    • 8,014 Posts
    • 44,107 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Oh penny how awful!! My DS1 broke his laptop last year by doing exactly the same thing - punching it in frustration . Thankfully his was covered by a plan MiL had taken out when she bought him it, but even just being without it for a week while it was fixed was a lesson learned for DS1.

    Spent the morning listing on eBay between hunting for keys DH has lost AGAIN (insert head smacking off the wall smiley!!!). Still haven't found them but they must be in the house somewhere. Have also realised car MOT and tax is due in 10 days . Feel completely unorganised and not in my comfort zone at all at the moment.
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in July - 1/5
    Lbs lost - 9
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 21st May 17, 2:07 PM
    • 5,211 Posts
    • 15,272 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Oh no PLMBL what an absolute nightmare with work and the boss who clearly doesn't know what he's doing. Im glad you are in the union, hope they can sort this out for you.

    Make a list of things you need to do, this should help you feel more in control xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £7586.76 - 31/05/17 - 67.25% paid off
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