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  • FIRST POST
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 4th Nov 14, 12:03 PM
    • 540Posts
    • 1,336Thanks
    AleMrsT
    Mini meltdown and light bulb moment
    • #1
    • 4th Nov 14, 12:03 PM
    Mini meltdown and light bulb moment 4th Nov 14 at 12:03 PM
    Hi everyone,
    I posted on the forum yesterday and after some soul searching, I have contacted Step Change and am now in the initial stages of sorting a Debt Management Plan. The guy was really helpful, and said I am definitely taking the right steps for the circumstances, and I need to put me first.
    To get it all out in the open and off my chest is going to be the second box ticked on my 'getting my life on track' checklist.
    Number one was admitting that I cannot do this any more. I can't work full time any more, and I can't carry on getting in debt to pay debt.
    With my health deteriorating, I knew I needed to do something, but knew too that I just could not afford part time wages.
    I've figured it out so that I can reduce my hours by one day a week, meaning less sick days overall, so not too much of a pay reduction, but still less money than I need to service my debts with the increasing interest.
    So, Step Change are putting me on Debt Management Plan, it will take me a long time to pay it all off, but least it will be manageable, affordable and I wont have any more mini meltdowns.

    The next step is to have a big chat with the OH, which is the part I'm looking forward to the least. I married him knowing he has an IVA, and that he has 'around £15000' of debt, but I have no idea about anything else, when it will be paid off, how much he's paying, etc, so I want us to sit and have an open chat about the complete bigger picture, so that we can really start to get to grips with everything. I also want to encourage him to embrace being more frugal, I have really tried, I've saved on food shopping by cooking from scratch, with using up what we have, and selling things on ebay to raise money for Christmas, but he's bought a coffee machine, sofa cushions and a wii U, which has thoroughly CHEESED ME OFF. So, a big chat is needed there. (to be fair, I agreed to the Wii U, he had a bonus from work and we have sold the Wii).
    I already feel a bit better, I'm off to Barclays this afternoon to set up a 'basic cash card account' so that I can transfer my PayPal funds and start my (long) debt free journey.
    I will try and update here when I can, but figures as at today are (taken off my Noddle credit report, not called for accurate balances from bank or CC company):
    Loan £2176
    OD £1050 (this is my OD limit, no idea how far into it I am, I daren't look!)
    N CC £2389
    H CC £1971
    TOTAL £7586.

    I am so looking forward to having a bank account without a negative balance!!
    Last edited by AleMrsT; 06-11-2014 at 10:26 PM.
Page 21
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 1st May 17, 4:33 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    Little bank holiday update! I have joined a gym (£99 for a whole years membership, including classes so it was super cheap!) I'm hoping it will keep me on track as my colleague also joined so hopefully we'll be able to go together. Looking forward to getting in there tomorrow! Since last week I have lost 2lbs, and today I have paid £53.44 off the holiday balance to round it off to £1500 left to pay. I have also moved some money into my savings account to cover the hen do at the end of the month. If I dont spend it all I will pay it off the holiday. I've been out this afternoon with my mum and my niece, now home to read a few chapters of my book whilst hubby is asleep after a night shift last night.
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 1st May 17, 4:35 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    Oh and my debt is finally under £5000!
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 9th May 17, 8:26 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    I'm down to the last £25 in my bank account, I don't think I'll last until the end of the month with it so I may have to dip into the savings but I really didnt want to do that as its for the hen do and paying off the holiday. I think I've been very optimistic with my budgeting this month, particularly as I have spent £99 on the gym membership and £84 in NewLook on two dresses, a jacket and some shoes that I really didnt need. I was intending to return one of the dresses and the jacket but have decided to keep them as I have another birthday party, a hen do and a wedding coming up, and the only other clothes I've bought this year have been work tops and gym stuff from primark. I also transferred £200 to my savings account which is very generous for the hen do considering the only thing to pay for is lunch and drinks, but I wanted to be able to pay the majority of it towards the holiday. I feel like I've failed already with paying for the holiday but looking back I dont think I have really as I initially wanted to pay £100 per month and I've put £200 into savings and have already paid £54 off this month.

    I'm pleased to say I have been making use of the gym membership and I'm really enjoying it! I mainly book onto the classes which are included, so its proving good value for money so far. I went to the main gym after work on Friday but only stayed for 20 minutes, then I did body pump on saturday morning (I actually set an alarm and got out of bed before 10am on a Saturday out of choice!), I did zumba last night and I did a hiit session at home on Wednesday. I'm planning to do the same this week, although I'll probably skip the friday night gym session and I'll just do a work out at home instead tomorrow and book onto an extra class on Tuesday next week. Its weigh day tomorrow but I checked on Monday and I think I've lost another pound too, so far so good

    Off to catch up on diaries and read a few more chapters of my book until OH gets home at 11.30. I'm looking after niece number 2 tomorrow as my sister has a new job so an early start for a Wednesday.
    Last edited by AleMrsT; 09-05-2017 at 8:29 PM.
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 17th May 17, 10:48 AM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    So my enthusiasm for the gym hasn't waived, I've been going 3 times a week since joining, I'm so proud of myself! Its my day off today so I've had a lie in and am going to get on with the cleaning and ironing, its a miserable day outside so a perfect day to get the house sparkling again. I had to give in and transfer some money from my savings account to my current account as I don't have an overdraft facility, I have £170 left in savings and £30 in my current account, payday is two weeks today. We may need to do a food shop as we have no meat left in the freezer, the only problem with eating better is having to restock the fridge so often with fresh produce, but as I'm eating better I've found I'm less hungry overall so we're not having to buy all of the random junk snacks that we previously used to buy.

    We've had a letter from our letting agent this week to confirm the tenancy is just carrying on month by month, there is no mention of a rent increase for this year so thats good news.

    Off to make a cup of tea and catch up on diaries before I crack on with the ironing.
    Last edited by AleMrsT; 17-05-2017 at 11:33 AM.
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 10th Jun 17, 6:56 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    Well I havent paid any more off the holiday, but I do have £250 in my savings account ready to transfer across on payday at the end of the month. I have £50 left in my account to last the month, which is a tad optimistic.

    I seriously need to knuckle down on the food planning, as it all has a knock on effect. If I food plan I then only buy groceries that we need for the plan, we don't end up eating out or getting takeaways AND it helps keep me on track with healthy eating which has well and truly gone out of the window the past few weeks!
    I've been cleaning all day today and the OH is at work so I'm going to treat myself to a chinese takeaway as a last blow out then sit down and write a meal plan for the next couple of weeks. We have loads of meat in the freezer so its a case of planning around what we have and making a list of additional ingredients we'll need from the supermarket tomorrow, then we just need to stick to the plan!

    I am still going to the gym though, its been a busy few weeks with the hen do then dog sitting at mums house so I've only managed to get one class per week in instead of 3, but its better than no classes, and I have booked on for 3 next week starting on Monday.

    Only 11 months until the holiday, and we have the dreaded car tax, mot and insurance renewal at the end of this month!

    Will we ever get this holiday paid off?! I really need to talk some sense into my OH with transferring his other credit card to 0% and being more careful with his spending.
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 10th Jun 17, 8:45 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    I decided to pay £100 of my savings off to the holiday, if I am able to last to the end of the month with just the £50 in my current account I'll transfer another £100 towards the holiday and leave a £50 buffer in my savings account. I forgot that I also paid for the airport parking and hotel for the night before we fly which was £100, so if I do manage to not have to dip into my savings for the month, I'll have paid £300 towards holiday costs this month. I'll then try and pay at least £200 off the holiday next month aswell, I'd rather get it paid off before the deadline on 5th Feb, then we have more time to pay for holiday clothes and save a bit of spending money. Theres still such a long way to go though, I know its 11 months away but I'm starting to panic that we wont get it paid off and will have to put it on the credit card, which i really dont want to do!
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 10th Jul 17, 9:32 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    Epically long post coming up!!
    Well, its all gone to pot! I have not been focused on paying the holiday off, or on trying to be remotely healthy or sensible with my diet.

    I decided to add on taxi transfers for the holiday. Trip advisor reviews are to blame! People had stated that the usual coach transfer does not drop you at the hotel, as the hotel is on a hill and buses are forbidden from certain roads during certain times, so it would mean a long walk in midday heat up a hill with suitcases and luggage. Our flight is at 6am so I just know that I wont cope with making our own way to the hotel after such an early start. So the holiday is now £142 more than it was last month! But I think it is worth it rather than trying to figure taxis out when we're there.

    So the balance of the holiday is now £1542 instead of £1400.

    In other news, I haven't been to the gym for 2 weeks. Last week the dance teacher hurt her ankle so the class was cancelled, and I'm working full time this week and last, and OH was on late shift tonight so I just couldnt face the thought of hanging round town for an hour then getting home at 8pm. I have booked onto the class tomorrow though as it is straight after work so not such a late finish getting the bus home.

    I am also at the hospital this week, it has felt like a long 6 weeks, especially with my colleague being off and me having to do the two full weeks. Because of the extra work days (only 2, one of which I will get paid for as the other is in lieu of a sick day I had) I havent done any house work, and have been too tired at the weekend to even think about the cleaning, and with me being at the hospital this weekend, it will have to wait until next wednesday and the thought of leaving it that long is making me itch!

    I might do a little bit each evening so I'm not scraping 6 inches of dust off the skirting boards next Wednesday

    OH also started to look at the bills and finances last week. He is really not good with budgeting or tackling money management, but we had lots to pay out for the car, as we have now had it a year and all of the annual expenses are due for it so he was looking at our monthly income and expenditure.

    Insurance, £460. MOT and service £477 Tax £147. Then the house insurance is also due which I pay.

    So the car expenses went on his credit card. The one that he cleared last year by doing a 0% balance transfer.

    It is now back up to £4300. It had a small amount left on it after the BT as the new 0% card had a £4000 limit and there was more than that on the original card.

    So our debt has increased 100%.

    And it most definitely is OUR debt, not just OH, as although it is in his name, we have made joint purchases with them (mostly.... OH has also been using it for living expenses at the end of the month to avoid overdraft fees, which was evident when he was going through looking at the bills). After the expense of the last month, the car costs really need to budgeted monthly, as it is so expensive, but when OH worked it out, he got all in a panic and doesnt think we can afford the extra per month, so nothing more has been mentioned.

    I persuaded him to apply for a second 0% card, but he didnt complete the application as they would only approve a £1000 limit and it would mean he had 3 credit cards again. He is scared to end up back where he was 10 years ago, with 8 credit cards having maxed each one and moved on to the next one and not being able to meet the minimums, then burying his head in the sand about it all.

    So I totally agree with his decision not to get a 3rd card, and I feel partly to blame for the fact that we now have MORE debt than ever as it was me that suggested getting the second card in the first place. He was managing the one he had just fine, the balance just wasnt coming down an awful lot.

    Now I'm also stressing about the holiday and how we'll pay it off.

    The V card I'm not worried about (yet), its on 0% until August 2019, I think he has been paying around £40 per month to it which should just carry on as its bringing the balance down and is affordable. The original plan was for ME to pay this card off, but he set the DD up from his own account and I have been paying towards the holiday instead.

    The old card is a problem. I think it is a fairly high interest rate (all of this is guestimates because I don't have access to his accounts), and he pays £100 a month to this.

    He generated a rough spreadsheet and with our joint income and expenditure we should easily be able to afford to pay the holiday and the credit cards, but in reality it is not really happening. Due to buying concert tickets, over spending on grocery shopping, a far more expensive phone bill than I thought (sometimes upwards of £100 a month!) All of this I haven't been able to see until he started looking at it properly this month.

    So I need to look at our options. One of which is to sit down again and go through both sets of bank accounts with a fine tooth comb, set a proper budget for grocery shopping etc and come up with a plan of action. The issue is time. We're like passing ships in the night the next few weeks, he's working on my days off and vice versa, and he is on late shifts so I'm home alone in the evenings.

    I think I need to persuade him to give me access to his online banking accounts so I can have a look at it all when I'm at home in the evenings over the next couple of weeks. Since starting my DMP I now have a much better grasp at budgeting and managing my own account, so I think we would be far better off if I could see the overall picture of where we're at each month and take control of managing it all.

    But I dont know whether this will work in practical terms. I don't want it to become a bigger issue than it needs to be; and I kind of want him to do what I have done and learn to manage a budget each month. I know where every single penny of my money goes, and my budget isnt perfect or stuck to religiously, but I start with the amount I get in, deduct my non negotiable outgoings (debt repayments, bills, transport costs) then work out what is happening for the month and apportion money towards each thing. Then what ever is left I add to my savings account to transfer to the holiday. I dont know if I could do that with 3 bank accounts, two credit cards and two savings accounts to manage, and I dont want him to feel like I'm being over bearing and naggy.

    Any tips would be much appreciated. I feel like a massive failure, I worked so hard to manage my own finances and convince OH we could afford a holiday by basing it on what I could contribute, and because I went on and on about it so much, he clearly didnt feel able to properly talk to me about whether we truly COULD afford it, so I kind of ground him down, he gave in, and here we are!

    Now I don't know how to fix it
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 10th Jul 17, 10:32 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    OMG!!! Really big reality check!
    So since my last post I've been looking around the house for some statements etc to get the balances of the two credit cards to work out exactly how much we owe between us.

    I have discovered two things:

    1) We really need a good sort out and come up with a better filing system

    2) I have no clue exactly how much we do owe!!

    I couldnt find statements for the CC's as its all online BUT I found details of the other amounts so I'll write them here and update later.....

    £1342.15 - OH old debt (plus one, maybe two more debts, he pays £15 a month to a debt recovery company, I could only find one statement).

    £4804.26 - my DMP

    £199.50 - the balance of the hoover that we got at christmas (0%, proud of him for not just putting it on the high interest CC!)

    £9362.50 - Car

    £8000 - OH's 2 CCs (I couldnt find the statements as they're online so I'm guessing at this figure, based on what hes paid to the 0% card per month and what is on his old card)

    £1542 - Holiday

    £500 - OH overdraft - complete guess at this, I have no idea how much his overdraft is but he's always in it each month.

    So the total is over £25,750!!!!! And that is guessing some of the figures, it could be less, it could also be a lot more! I have never sat and put all of our debt figures together before, as I've only ever had to concentrate on 'my' debt, the rest is in OH's name and we have separate bank accounts.

    We really shouldn't have booked the holiday Now I'm sad and angry that we haven't sat down together and worked all of the exact figures out before. How have we been married for four years and never done a full assessment of not only our combined income and outgoings but how much we actually owe!?!

    I feel a bit ill if I'm honest. I think I'm going to go to bed and sleep on it, then try and come up with a plan. Where the hell to even start?!

    I was so proud to get my debt under £5000 aswell!
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • misstara
    • By misstara 10th Jul 17, 10:40 PM
    • 2,456 Posts
    • 17,122 Thanks
    misstara
    Hi, don't really have any tips I'm afraid but didn't want to read and not comment.

    When are you away on holiday? Could you divert some of the money you're paying for the holiday to pay off some of the debt instead?

    Could he apply for a different balance transfer card, one that would take all the balance of the old card? Even if it didn't, having 3 cards - 2@0% and a lower balance on the horrible interest one might be better than 2 cards if there's a high balance on the horrible interest one. He could then cut up the cards to ensure no more spending.

    I think you need to make time to sit down and discuss it with him, you don't want to take on all the responsibility for the finances.

    Hope that all makes sense, good luck with it
    Debt at LBM Jan 2014 £10458.09 Now £0
    New flat debt Jan 2017 £2302.75 Now £1349.50 (41.4% paid)
    Mini Targets
    Exercise target - Run 3/8, Gym 0/4. Groceries target £106.86/£150. NSD target 11/18.
    • misstara
    • By misstara 10th Jul 17, 10:47 PM
    • 2,456 Posts
    • 17,122 Thanks
    misstara
    Just realised you've posted again in the time it took me to peck out a post on my phone.

    Sending hugs, that's a big number but you're in the right place to get support and advice to tackle it.
    Debt at LBM Jan 2014 £10458.09 Now £0
    New flat debt Jan 2017 £2302.75 Now £1349.50 (41.4% paid)
    Mini Targets
    Exercise target - Run 3/8, Gym 0/4. Groceries target £106.86/£150. NSD target 11/18.
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 10th Jul 17, 10:59 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    Thanks misst.

    The holiday is next May, for our 5th wedding anniversary/honeymoon that we didnt have. The balance has to be paid by 5th February, I've been paying it bit by bit by putting money aside each month. If we cancel it we lose the £400 deposit and part of me thinks sod it, I've been sacrificing and paying off debt in some form or other for 10 years and will be doing so for the forseeable future, a holiday will keep me sane!

    I will set aside some time to go through it all with him again, I personally think 5 credit cards all at 0% is better than one high interest card, but I just dont think it will help at this stage as it is proving impossible to manage what we already have. To be fair, there hasnt been any spending at all on the 0% card, I don't even think he's ever taken it off the initial letter, its just the one connected to his bank account that is the issue.

    I/we also thought the car was also 0%, but it definitely isnt.

    You're right, I don't want to take on all of the responsibility of it, but I think I might have to, as what we've been doing so far hasnt worked as we've been plodding along with neither of us having an idea of the true overall picture.

    I literally need a PA for my whole life. Someone to manage my hospital appointments, someone to look after the house and someone to look after the finances!
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • Fortune Smiles
    • By Fortune Smiles 11th Jul 17, 5:55 AM
    • 2,570 Posts
    • 21,137 Thanks
    Fortune Smiles
    Just a very quick post as we're in the middle of moving but I didn't want to read and run.

    What's done is done. Relax and make the most of the holiday - you don't want it spoiled with regret

    However, you can start making a difference from now and it looks as though you have already started

    Fortune x
    Mortgage: 2.02% paid House Deposit Contribution: 84% Emergency Fund: 43%

    All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us - J R R Tolkein
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 11th Jul 17, 1:16 PM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    Thanks fortune, I feel a lot better about things this morning, although I've had to come home from work this morning as I've been unwell, so I'm taking a day to plan (and rest).

    In the grand scheme of things, I knew about all the debts individually, and most of them were planned and budgeted for, such as the car and the initial balance transfer that allowed us to upgrade items in the house that needed replacing (washing machine and PC). It is knowing that the original card is now back up to where it was that is getting to me.

    So my plan of action is to set a household budget, rather than just a personal budget. We have a bills account that we both pay £650 a month into (its all in OHs name though), but this covers all of the household bills including grocery shopping and petrol.

    I need to check whether the £183 per month car payment also comes out of this account, if not, then we will transfer the payment to come from the bills account.

    Then I will see if we can do anything about the phone bill. Both of our mobiles are on the same contract, it should be £60 per month, a quick look at the bills account the other day showed that this is sometimes over £100 per month. This is my fault. My internet usage. Because I don't get a bill, I can't see what I'm using, and I dont know when I have reached the limit on the allowed data usage.

    I'm going to get OH to alter the settings so that the data can't be used when it is near the usage limit.

    Next on the list is tackling the small monthly payments that come out of the account that all add up.
    £10 per month for window cleaning, I forgot we set this up, and I dont know when the windows were last cleaned!
    £8.99 Netflix - this is staying, we use it every day, its well worth the money
    £9.99 for OH's Dropbox account. I also use dropbox but only the free one, but the storage capacity on mine is full. We use this for scanning and saving our important documents so we can both access them, (marriage cert, driving licenses, passport, car and house insurance docs etc). He also uses this for work, so that he can access everything he needs if he ever has to do something from home. I don't know whether there is an alternative to this.
    Then there is spotify premium that OH also has, I again have the free version. I'm not sure how much the paid version is, I think around £10 per month, I will see if he can downgrade to the free version.
    £25 for his paid account fee. He pays this fee per month for his premium bank account, which he had to do in order stay with his bank when he entered his IVA 10 years ago. I am going to suggest that he downgrades his account or at least try to negotiate on the cost. It does mean that he gets a slightly higher overdraft limit and doesnt receive over draft charges so often.
    £12.99 per month for his experian account. I will also persuade him to cancel this and sign up to noddle instead. He doesnt need to pay the fees now his credit is repaired.

    That is £77 per month for all of those.
    Then we have our phone line and internet through BT. I think this is £30 per month, we don't have a TV license as we don't watch live tv, I think £30 is the best we could get it for since BE internet no longer exists. This is one to look at at a later date, as I think we are in a contract with Sky.

    Next is grocery shopping. This is the one that will make the biggest impact and I will be able to have more control over. We do one big shop at the beginning of the month, usually at morrisons, then get top up shops from tesco as this is near to our house (which is part of the issue! We nip in on the way home from work,£20 spent etc).

    I always say it, but I a going to try and shop online. Last week we spent £163 in morrisons. This is a monthly shop, so works out at £40 a week, which I don't think is terrible, although it is when you add on all of the quick trips to tesco at £20 a time.

    I am going to start meal planning again, and be more strict with not buying snacks, not shopping when we're hungry and actually ONLY getting milk when we need milk!

    If I can look at some of those things, its a start.

    Now to find a day where we're both at home so we can sit and go through it all properly. He's off tomorrow but I'm supposed to be working, however if I'm still not feeling great I may not be at work, but in an ideal world I need to go in as my colleague is still on holiday until next week and it is another sick day unpaid if I dont go in. Saturday we are both off, but its a hospital day and its not practical to sit going through finances from a hospital bed! Sunday he's back at work.
    Last edited by AleMrsT; 11-07-2017 at 1:19 PM.
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • October Starter
    • By October Starter 2nd Aug 17, 10:24 AM
    • 653 Posts
    • 3,091 Thanks
    October Starter
    Hi MrsT

    I hope you managed to sit down with OH and get a plan together. I know that my OH and I have done the same, hence being back to MSE and fully committed. I have even got OH signed up.

    You can do it!

    October xx
    Loan: 6100.00 4542.08 ~~ Credit Card: 4231.82 #20 Emergency Fund: £249.96/£1000 25%!
    LBM 1: (20.08.14) -£5000.00 LBM 2: (25.07.17) -£9750.00 October Goals NSDs: 0/10, Ibs Lost: 0/10, Xtr Income: £0/£50
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 2nd Aug 17, 10:38 AM
    • 4,661 Posts
    • 8,822 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    You are right in that you should not have booked the holiday but I totally understand why you did even though it has put you under more pressure. You are by no means unique in that holidays often are the bugbear with people when they are debt busting. Partly it is the psychological benefit of having something to look forward to in amongst the drear of paying off accumulated debt. However it is your fifth anniversary, you know you have to save for it so nothing to do but look forward.

    Cancelling unnecessary direct debits is a good start. I never understand why people pay for Experian. Noddle is good enough and is free. Putting up with adverts on Spotify to save £120 a year is good. I always find with my OH giving him the yearly benefit amount of some saving which seems insignificant then sinks home how much all the little bits and pieces add up to.

    Setting up a household budget is essential. You both need to be on board with budgeting or you will constantly be fighting against each other. Knowing the true amount you have between you is critical so I hope you manage to have the talk and come up with a plan to keep within budget, put aside for car and other stuff and save for your holiday.

    I presume the DMP is just in your name? Regardless of whether the interest rate is 0% or not 5 credit cards is too much to handle in your situation. I assume these are in your OHs name?
    4 weeks to go until early retirement in December . Debt free and mortgage free.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 12th Aug 17, 9:29 AM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    So I finally managed to sit down with OH and go through everything! It took us a whole evening but we wrote down and accounted for every single penny of spending and worked out what we owe to who etc.

    I have done a budget based on our income and we've made several changes already.

    When we looked at it all, we can definitely afford the holiday. Actually we could afford to go on holiday every year if we wanted to. The issue which I was aware of but didnt know the true extent of until we sat down with all of the figures is the amount we spend on 'stuff'. It's ridiculous. I thought we did ok grocery shopping as we did one shop per month. Not the case. Looking at all 3 accounts together and adding up the big shop plus our ad hoc spends, we spent £434 on groceries. In one month! On top of this we spent £138 on eating out, £127 on leisure and £134 on fuel for the car. Ridiculous!

    Our total debt is actually £22660, not as bad as I'd calculated as to be fair OH has been paying down his credit cards more than i thought.

    We spend £547 on debt repayments. This isn't going to change any time soon if we want to get them cleared.

    OH has cancelled his experian account. £120 per year saved.
    We were spending £40 per month on lottery tickets between us. That is stopping. We now have a limit of £10 each per month for lottery.

    We've decided to switch to online grocery shopping and do one shop per week. Our grocery shopping is being delivered at 10pm tonight (cheapest delivery slot!) and we spent £57 for the week.

    I have set us a grocery budget of £300 per month which I still think is extremely generous. I've also allocated £150 for fuel and £100 for eating out, all quite generous because if I slash those budgets entirely we will end up having a blow out and undoing all of the work we've put in.

    With these changes it means we have £200 per month towards the holiday, £40 per month to go into savings for next year's car insurance and any surplus from any of the budgets will go towards an emergency fund.

    Once the holiday is cleared, the £200 per month will switch to another debt.

    We have also both sent off PPI claims. I'm waiting to hear back from mine, OH has already received confirmation that he is due compensation, he is waiting on a cheque for £330! He couldn't believe it. He didn't think he'd be able to claim but he's glad I nagged him to do it. That money will go towards the holiday and he's waiting for a decision on 2 more claims that he submitted.

    So things are looking up. It is so much easier having him on board. To keep up momentum I'm going to make sure we sit down together every month to review the finances, and each week I'll update what we have spent so far from each 'pot' and see what we have left.

    We're off to see my sister today who moved into their new house last week, they're finally home owners after 7 house moves they may now actually settle in one place! Then we have my parents dog overnight as they're off to a wedding so it's a no spend day for us!

    Seeing my sisters new house and how cheap their mortgage payment is has got me thinking long term. I would really like to buy a house in the future, so that is the end goal. Pay off debt, save a deposit. But for now, paying off the holiday (that we most definitely can afford) is a good starting place!
    Last edited by AleMrsT; 12-08-2017 at 9:38 AM.
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 12th Aug 17, 9:32 AM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    I forgot to mention that I've also ordered my new glasses and prescription sunglasses in preparation for the holiday. I've got money set aside to pay for them and my mum works at the opticians, so not only do I get 20% off the glasses and 50% off the sunglasses, I can pay for them over 2 months which is really helpful.
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • Dorastar
    • By Dorastar 12th Aug 17, 9:40 AM
    • 1,749 Posts
    • 15,127 Thanks
    Dorastar
    You are doing brilliantly already, sorting it out and talking with DH is so important. The holiday is booked now so I would go ahead with it otherwise when it comes to that time you will feel 20x worse (got that t- shirt)

    Every little reduction in bills can be put against holiday then debts and seeing the totals go down will be lovely. We are in similar debt and having the same conversations with DH who is a real ostrich

    Keep going - you got this
    Mr T 14764.50 Bank 6331.44 Mortgage £160,000
    Emergency Fund £854.29 Blanket squares 27/60
    • AleMrsT
    • By AleMrsT 12th Aug 17, 9:45 AM
    • 540 Posts
    • 1,336 Thanks
    AleMrsT
    You are doing brilliantly already, sorting it out and talking with DH is so important. The holiday is booked now so I would go ahead with it otherwise when it comes to that time you will feel 20x worse (got that t- shirt)

    Every little reduction in bills can be put against holiday then debts and seeing the totals go down will be lovely. We are in similar debt and having the same conversations with DH who is a real ostrich

    Keep going - you got this
    Originally posted by Dorastar
    Thanks Dorastar. I really do feel much better now that he is willing to talk about it, it's so frustrating trying to come up with a plan when you can only see half the picture. Hopefully you get somewhere with your ostrich OH too, I can sympathise! Fingers crossed he will carry on being interested and engaged in the process, otherwise I can see us ending up back at square one. It's managing the spending that will be difficult as we each have our own accounts then he has the bills account which he can access too so it's going to be a delicate balance of enquiring about spends but not being militant or naggy!
    Debt @ LBM Nov 2014 £7586.85
    Start of DMP Jan 2015 £7202.85 now £4446.60 (£2656.25 PAID)
    Italy 2018 £2103.44 now £0 (Thanks PPI!)
    Christmas shopping budget £67.40 (plus £25.91 Amazon voucher) / £150
    Emergency Fund £10600
    Christmas 2018 £10/£500
    • Dorastar
    • By Dorastar 12th Aug 17, 11:39 AM
    • 1,749 Posts
    • 15,127 Thanks
    Dorastar
    We have a joint account but I have a squirrel account in credit union for emergencies. DH uses cash now because he still thinks that shopping and getting cashback means he has won������
    Mr T 14764.50 Bank 6331.44 Mortgage £160,000
    Emergency Fund £854.29 Blanket squares 27/60
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