Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • monz
    • By monz 16th Sep 14, 1:38 PM
    • 2,792Posts
    • 7,961Thanks
    monz
    Need to get myself together: The beginning
    • #1
    • 16th Sep 14, 1:38 PM
    Need to get myself together: The beginning 16th Sep 14 at 1:38 PM
    Hi all

    I am back. Short story, I was in this position before though holding a baby in my arms and his dad left us with a loan I got for him (I naively believed there was people after him) and such a bad overdraft. I managed to scrape it back and pay it all off and was on a high (figuratively) of being debt free.

    Four years on I have been left (no baby this time) and foolishly beleived this guy was decent. No need to tell me off or should have known better, believe me I am my own worst enemy.

    So now my debts are :

    £1,000 overdraft (hope to clear by Christmas or least by January)
    £200 odds Next (Yeah this is me I cannot blame anyone but myself here) I want it cleared by Christmas at least
    £5,000 loan ( I am mad I know for having got it for him and he "says"will help with this but will not hold my breath as he is already asking for more money - probably for the girl he left me for...) I hope to pay this back in 2.5 years not the 5 year plan I was given.


    Anyway, I am determined and I will not fail

    Also need to put money aside for America in May 2015. (£125 a month) and also 52 week challenge. The reason I am going to America is its my 30th and my mum and dad are paying for this.

    The first post is longer than I thought it would be I am so sorry!!

    Hopefully I will be back on track soon xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
Page 110
    • monz
    • By monz 29th Sep 17, 9:58 AM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    Thanks my mum said get the magnum from Aldi at £14, will see what they have lol

    awww VO is brill normally every week can sort out Xmas vouchers aka save money xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • monz
    • By monz 29th Sep 17, 3:02 PM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    Managed to get a £3 survey today so cashed out £10 Topshop voucher for my sister. Only £10 now to get and she is complete... well my dad next for £15 (still awaiting code for other survey come through) Hopefully by mid October/end will start on my older sisters birthday and be finished them by mid November xxx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 29th Sep 17, 4:08 PM
    • 3,872 Posts
    • 11,216 Thanks
    abba1772
    You're on fire monz xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £5372.81
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £4900.50 / £6000
    • monz
    • By monz 2nd Oct 17, 8:58 AM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    I was until my first holiday payment got took out. Woman said this would not happen until 1 nov and I thought great as got so much on in October..... yeah 1 october. So my extra payment had to go into normal and now tight for money

    Will get there though. Always do. Spose its more money paid on holiday

    Throat is on fire today, any time this weather changes my throat cant take it. Gonna try fire through surveys this week. Nothing on VO yet but prob will in afternoon I hope.

    Friday night engagement party I was very drunk (understatement) saturday my friend came round we had chinese and cpl drinks and sunday got my boys haircut and went to Asda

    24 days until payday
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 2nd Oct 17, 10:45 AM
    • 5,234 Posts
    • 17,518 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Boo to the payment coming out already!

    Hope you feel better soon.

    All the survey sites seem quiet this morning.

    Have a lovely day xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7250.00 Cap 1: £529.05 BC: £5196.94

    AFD 0/10 NSD 0/10 LTW 0/10

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • monz
    • By monz 3rd Oct 17, 9:30 AM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    Morning,

    My VO is at £2.40 so hopefully hit £5 today ( hope a we cheeky voucher by Friday complete first sister)

    Got my confirmation for £15 amazon voucher so when it arrives will update my dads code . After I get my sisters will get a £15 amazon again for my dad and they are finished.

    Then work towards my sisters £30 vouchers on something for her bday xxx

    Nothing else to add 23 days until payday
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 3rd Oct 17, 1:49 PM
    • 3,352 Posts
    • 9,509 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker
    You're doing amazing with the surveys!

    I cashed out £40 on onepoll this morning and need £0.75 for another £15 amazon voucher!

    Really need to not spend them on myself, starting from 2018!

    Dxxx
    Goals
    Debt free by Christmas 2017
    Save for Christmas 2017
    Goal weight of 10st 7lbs by Christmas
    Add to deposit savings
    • monz
    • By monz 3rd Oct 17, 3:00 PM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    Treat yourself Dolly!!! I am just wanting the vouchers for others be over and then gonna collect vouchers for tesco from VO for when I get a house xxxx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • Dolly Rocker
    • By Dolly Rocker 3rd Oct 17, 3:06 PM
    • 3,352 Posts
    • 9,509 Thanks
    Dolly Rocker


    Dxxx
    Goals
    Debt free by Christmas 2017
    Save for Christmas 2017
    Goal weight of 10st 7lbs by Christmas
    Add to deposit savings
    • monz
    • By monz 4th Oct 17, 9:09 AM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    Anyone want my cold? This weather has truly became autumn, not that we had much summer mind lol....

    VO currently at £4.65, Hope to get £6.50 at a push today.

    Nearly at cash out for OP but saving for things on amazon on my wishlist lol my boys bday etc. His party invites went out yesterday and had two parents confirm already which is good

    Going to skip Harry Potter pub crawl Friday that I had, just skint and need to watch pennies, plus need a weekend in hibernating

    Got my slow cooker out and cooking a big chicken and stew pot Cannot wait to get home to that :P

    22 days until payday xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 4th Oct 17, 9:12 AM
    • 3,872 Posts
    • 11,216 Thanks
    abba1772
    It's a slow cooker kind of day isn't it as mines is out too making beef curry xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £5372.81
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £4900.50 / £6000
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 4th Oct 17, 9:22 AM
    • 5,064 Posts
    • 23,180 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    The weather is horrid isn't it?!

    I think everyone has a cold or have just had one! Seem's to be doing the rounds.

    Have a lovely day x
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 4th Oct 17, 10:01 AM
    • 5,234 Posts
    • 17,518 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Hope you feel better soon Monz, this cold is horrible.

    Have a great day and wrap up warm xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7250.00 Cap 1: £529.05 BC: £5196.94

    AFD 0/10 NSD 0/10 LTW 0/10

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • monz
    • By monz 5th Oct 17, 8:57 AM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    Morning

    Need advice. Its been pointed out to me my boy has started hitting if he gets really angry. I didnt believe it at first because I have seen him losing at games and being put out and he has been fine, until last night I saw first hand him doing this and believe me he got a right telling off and told no pocket money this week. What can I do, I feel me telling him off is not getting through to him. I told him before to walk away, count to ten think of something funny, I am seriously at a loss. Do I wait a few weeks ad try time outs and that (never done before - never had to) or should I try get to a doctor and see. He told me he just gets so angry and doesnt know why and I explained hitting doesnt solve it and think how other person feels. Need help I feel so ashamed and let my son down

    VO is at £6.40 so will try get £7.50 by end of day. £8 if I am lucky

    21 days until payday cc
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • JoJoC
    • By JoJoC 5th Oct 17, 9:57 AM
    • 1,234 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    JoJoC
    Don't be ashamed - you sound like a great mum and we can't always 100% influence what our kids do!

    I'd try to stay calm (i.e. don't shout at him as that's not really teaching him how to control anger) and maybe try every night to sit down and tlak about stuff, perhaps over dinner. Just make sure the lines of communication is open regularly so that he can open up if he wants to without pressure. Maybe see how he gets on over the next few weeks?

    Also, have you considered something like Tae Kwon Do or karate? It's an effective way of releasing pent up aggression but in a controlled way?
    CC1: £3804.52 / £3704.32 £100.20 paid | CC2:£5027.53 / £4927.48 £100.05 paid | Loan: £15,000 / £13,932.24 (£1067.76 paid)

    July debt total: £23,832.05 | New debt total: £22,564.04 | Total debt paid: £1,268.01 (5.3%)
    *My debt busting and savings diary*
    • monz
    • By monz 5th Oct 17, 10:57 AM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    Hes top 3 in UK for tkd he goes 4 times a week lol

    I feel bad I lost my temper with him, I was shouting him at him teling him off n that. i am so ashamed, told him that he will have no friends if he keeps this up n said school will be watching me if he keeps doing this n that. basically he will be scared they will take him away. i will have a big chat tonight n tell him not to worry about it all. night time will have no phone on me. jsut me n him time n talking time xxx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
    • JoJoC
    • By JoJoC 5th Oct 17, 12:11 PM
    • 1,234 Posts
    • 3,918 Thanks
    JoJoC
    Oh wow! That's amazing that he's right up there with the best in TKD! My little one just started a few weeks ago

    Don't feel bad or ashamed - we all have our moments where we look back and wish we didn't react in the way that we did. You might find that it's just a phase - just him trying to assert himself in a group of friends, or being confused or upset about something. It's always these things that it's the hardest to drag out of them! If they just knew that talking about it could help then i'm sure everything would be a lot easier solved.

    I think it's a good idea to sit down tonight and go through everything - maybe try to let him tell you why it's not a good idea and how the other person would feel. Can you recall a time that someone did something similar to him or made him feel upset? Maybe bringing that up and discussing how he felt then will help him to empathise more with the people that he hits?

    Sorry, i really have no clue, and my kids are younger than yours so I have no experience but just a few thoughts to get you started.

    Try not to dwell on it too much - kids all go through phases of one thing or another. As long as you can work through it together and come out the other end, that's all that matters.
    CC1: £3804.52 / £3704.32 £100.20 paid | CC2:£5027.53 / £4927.48 £100.05 paid | Loan: £15,000 / £13,932.24 (£1067.76 paid)

    July debt total: £23,832.05 | New debt total: £22,564.04 | Total debt paid: £1,268.01 (5.3%)
    *My debt busting and savings diary*
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 5th Oct 17, 12:19 PM
    • 5,234 Posts
    • 17,518 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Afternoon Hun,

    First of all, you're not a bad mum and you certainly do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I've lost count the amount of times I've shouted at my two for misbehaving.

    Secondly, you are trying to raise you little man to turn out to be a gentleman and you are doing a fine job.

    Does he constantly lash out? or just when he gets frustrated? It could be hormonal, depending on his age of course.

    I agree with JoJo about having a chat with him, he may tell you if there are any problems at school etc. Don't back down on the pocket money thing though.

    Big hugs xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: £7250.00 Cap 1: £529.05 BC: £5196.94

    AFD 0/10 NSD 0/10 LTW 0/10

    20p Savers 2017 £2 Savers 2017 50p Savers 2017 SPC 10 2017 #003
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 5th Oct 17, 12:23 PM
    • 5,064 Posts
    • 23,180 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    I agree with Jojo and definitely don't feel ashamed, I think most kids do it. To be honest even as an adult some things push you that far, just hopefully as an adult we can understand the consequences better.

    Also talking and letting him talk about it will help, my DS has someone at school he can talk too now because he said sometimes he wanted to tell me but didn't want me to worry or be upset! Which is something I'd never thought of before because he doesn't come across that way. So now the understanding is talk. Even if you don't want to tell me, tell another adult/teacher at school etc.
    DFW £1388.71/£7348.71 Rent Arrears £511.28/£3381.28

    Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
    • monz
    • By monz 5th Oct 17, 1:23 PM
    • 2,792 Posts
    • 7,961 Thanks
    monz
    He is 7 next month. cos he lost a game he was angry being put out n a boy went are you ok n he hit him. never saw him do this before. or if not getting his own way. hes so spoiled. but I am being stricter with him n having a chat tonight.

    whos tkd instructor Jojo I know most I might know them xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016)
    house deposit £5,971.23/10,000
    mums xmas vouchers boots 50/50 sisters xmas vouchers topshop 30/30 Dads xmas voucher amazon (surveys) 0/30 (£15 pending)
    holiday - £237.81/1064.72
    Australia 2019 - /5000
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,477Posts Today

7,085Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • RT @LordsEconCom: On Tuesday Martin Lewis, Hannah Morrish & Shakira Martin gave evidence to the Cttee. Read the full transcript here: https?

  • Ta ta for now. Half term's starting, so I'm exchanging my MoneySavingExpert hat for one that says Daddy in big letters. See you in a week.

  • RT @thismorning: Can @MartinSLewis' deals save YOU cash? ???? https://t.co/igbHCwzeiN

  • Follow Martin