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  • FIRST POST
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 27th Aug 14, 10:22 PM
    • 1,609Posts
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    NoOneAround
    Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK
    • #1
    • 27th Aug 14, 10:22 PM
    Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK 27th Aug 14 at 10:22 PM
    Bewildered, confused, terrified that will lose everything we have worked so hard to build up. Over 70 K unsecured debt and 28K owed to family. Have been self employed for 10 years but business gradually gone down hill in recession. partner went back t o work, on good salary 47K but not enough, plus some money still coming in from business/part time jobs. Have 3 years left of independent school fees (yes we could pull child out but it would destroy him - please don't judge), older child about to go to university and we won't be able to provide much support. Talked to debt charity earlier this year and wrote to some creditors but not all - kept thinking things would improve but they haven't yet, so now need to do the rest - wish I had listened and acted fully 6 months ago. Better late than never I guess. Desperately looking for a job but too stressed to produce good applications. Sleep deprivation and now relationship problems. Have a decent house but don't want to downsize as have elderly parents with health issues who will need our support and probably move in with us. Health beginning to suffer. Don't know how we got ourselves into this state - well educated, professionals, feel totally ashamed, so keep up the pretences with everyone that everything is hunky dory. So sad and depressed.
Page 94
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 18th Nov 17, 12:05 AM
    • 955 Posts
    • 4,271 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    You must have been involved, as you didn't come back.

    Have fun with the new appliances: shiny and new is always fun. Shame it wasn't a more restful person who visited... maybe make yourself a list of people who leave you feeling positive and treat yourself to the company of one every month next year!
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 18th Nov 17, 8:49 AM
    • 621 Posts
    • 3,510 Thanks
    redofromstart
    Happy belated birthday. Hope you are ok balancing everything, its the kind of thing I have to do with my work so much sympathy from me.
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 20th Nov 17, 9:23 AM
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    NoOneAround
    Thanks Cherry and Thanks Redo..
    Not sure where the weekend went but it was busy. Sibling went to visist mum so I had a weekend at home which was nice, but then everyone was busy with their own things and it was quite lonely again.
    But old freezer defrosted and starting to fill both now - nice to have room for some emergency meals when I don't have time to cook and DS needs some man food. Also nice to have a working dishwasher again - except nobody loaded it but me
    Managed to do a bit in the garden too. with a little help from DS. Again, not much in the grand scheme of things but better than nothing.
    Off to work at part time job in a couple of hours so just a flying visit. Got some SE stuff to do before I go .
    Have a good week, my visits my be a bit erratic again

    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Puzzcat
    • By Puzzcat 20th Nov 17, 12:21 PM
    • 3,154 Posts
    • 16,263 Thanks
    Puzzcat
    Hi Noah,

    Happy belated birthday.... hope you had a lovely day....

    You sound like quite the domestic goddess and certainly achieved more than me at the weekend..

    Don't tire yourself out this week with that work sutff...

    Love Puzz. xx
    Christmas 2018 £0 cash/£17 vouchers
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    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 20th Nov 17, 7:45 PM
    • 894 Posts
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    Cumbria lass
    NOA belated birthday greetings x
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 21st Nov 17, 9:55 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 7,753 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    Hi Noah,

    Happy belated birthday.... hope you had a lovely day....

    You sound like quite the domestic goddess and certainly achieved more than me at the weekend..

    Don't tire yourself out this week with that work sutff...

    Love Puzz. xx
    Originally posted by Puzzcat
    Thank You Puzz It was nice - just being home, and I slept through a film I wanted to watch so very relaxing !
    Domestic goddess I'm not ... well ...not the domestic bit anyway......

    Think the not tiring myself out is not going to happen either but its gotta be done. And actually despite that I feel it's easier to keep a smile on my face when I'm out at work.

    Have a lovely day
    NOAh
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 21st Nov 17, 9:56 AM
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    NoOneAround
    NOA belated birthday greetings x
    Originally posted by Cumbria lass
    Thank You Cumbria Lass - much appreciated
    Have a lovely day
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 21st Nov 17, 10:03 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 7,753 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    My last "free" day at home today so lots to get in order, not least trying to get together enough work clothes so that it is not a daily stress - too much to handle early in the mornings together with getting DS to school before going on to work. Today's school run was horrendous - huge traffic problems on all main roads around city so everything at a standstill - has taken over two hours to do round trip so not in a good mood.

    Lots of bits to do today - will update achievements later hopefully - do list will be too depressing

    Here goes....
    Have a good day everyone
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 21st Nov 17, 9:30 PM
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    NoOneAround
    My last "free" day at home today so lots to get in order.....
    Lots of bits to do today - will update achievements later hopefully - do list will be too depressing
    Here goes....
    Have a good day everyone
    NOA
    x
    Originally posted by NoOneAround
    Well, not quite sure what to list as seem to have been busy, but can't remember what with ...... a few family tensions at the moment between DH and DS . DH very demanding (unnecessarily so) and treating him like a kid, and can't bear to see him sitting to relax and DS reacting badly to it all.

    I am trying so hard not to pitch in, on occasions when I have done so, DH reacts very badly (never one for taking criticism, constructive or not). He's a do-as-I -say-not -as -I -do man, and doesn't believe in pyschology mumbojumbo. Trouble is DS at awkward age...

    Feeling v wound up. Time for bed before I start on one...

    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 21st Nov 17, 11:37 PM
    • 955 Posts
    • 4,271 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Oh dear, that's miserable. I hope they get through it soon and give you back your peaceful home. Is DS amenable to psychology? As in 'If your Dad sees you busy when he comes in he might leave you alone later'?
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 23rd Nov 17, 9:45 PM
    • 894 Posts
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    Cumbria lass
    Hoping things have calmed down at home.
    Nov 2017 CC1 £3329 CC2 £600

    Debt Free Nov 2019: earlier if I have my way
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 24th Nov 17, 4:35 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Thank you Cherry and Cumbria Lass.

    Flying visit as working tomorrow as well
    DS is much more emotionally intelligent than his dad. I have gently gently talked to him, try to give him ways of dealing with it other than getting angry.

    Lots of diplomacy needed rather than bombast

    Hope everyone is well - will catch up as and when....

    In the meantime have a lovely weekend
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 3rd Dec 17, 9:23 PM
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    • 7,753 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    December
    Finding it impossible to keep up here, leaving house at 7, school drop, work, school pick up, home 6.30 or later dinner, essential survival tasks, urgent stuff for SE, phone call to mum, bath bed. Repeat.
    Weekend gone in taxing to Rugby match, washing/ironing/grocery shop. taxiing DS to charity music fundraiser, and feeling quite with everything in general. This week and next will be the same.
    Hope everyone is doing well, hope a little less work and a bit more fun where you are

    Have a good week
    NOA
    xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 10th Dec 17, 8:07 PM
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    • 7,753 Thanks
    NoOneAround
    Another week of the same .......
    7 more days at work then I'm home from 19th to "Do" Christmas.
    I have been buying extra food /drinks and non perishable bits in every grocery shop. There will be 10 of us on the day and 14 of Boxing day, then numbers go down over next couple of days as they leave, one sibling and partner going abroad so not coming this year. Minus 3 people seems a lot down
    Weekend at home - didn't go see mum as didn't want to travel in snowy/icy weather.
    Generally exhausted but keeping up.... just.....
    Have a good week everyone.
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 10th Dec 17, 11:08 PM
    • 955 Posts
    • 4,271 Thanks
    Cherryfudge
    Crumbs - your life is so full on at the moment. I hope you have a good sleep tonight and a productive day tomorrow. x
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 11th Dec 17, 9:26 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
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    NoOneAround
    Morning All
    Thanks Cherry

    A very unexpected last minute cancellation for this mornings work - I don't need to go until 12.30 Ridiculous how happy that made me this morning I did school run in pjs this am, and now have a bit of time to catch up of urgent calls (one abroad so needs to be lunch time) and letters this morning, then have a shower and look a bit more human before going to work.
    Restless nights, lots of emotionally draining stuff going on to, DS who has been as good as gold trying to push for more independence now, can' t come to an agreement on a sleepover which involves them walking home for 40 mins at 3am ish to a friends house after a midnight film. ( all tame stuff but he can't understand why I don't want him walking at that time when his friend does it all the time and "it's perfectly safe". All the usual teenage stuff I know. I had agreed to pick him up even though I have work next day but now he's pushing for the next step.

    Money stuff - SE getting a bit quieter - fairly normal for Dec/Jan - we half way through quite a few projects, the early stages always being the busiest.

    Also aware tax return deadline is looming. Money is sitting in bank so not worried but balances will look somewhat less healthy in Jan! Need to make a start on returns soon, but suspect it will be January before I do. Also have a week and a bit full time of part time job lined up for January. I have started to feel bored as well as anxious. All work and no play at the moment!

    Must get on and use my unexpected morning off productively....
    Have a lovely Monday
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £66,996=7.62%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300 Jan17£180,700>OCT17 £173,200
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • *Robin*
    • By *Robin* 13th Dec 17, 10:00 PM
    • 3,199 Posts
    • 12,759 Thanks
    *Robin*
    Hi NOA, just catching up a little..

    Very, very belated Happy Birthday - sorry for missing it at the time, hope you made some lovely memories.

    Re lads walk home; for me permission would depend on whether it would involve walking along pavements, on lit city streets and not through the roughest areas..?
    If yes, yes, no, and I know and trust the group of youngsters, then I'd probably say ok unless it's a filthy night, in which case I'd book a taxi to pick them up after the cinema (paid for out of the kids' entertainment budget ).

    Am also dreading the annual tax return <sigh> don't usually think about it until after Xmas..
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