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  • FIRST POST
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 27th Aug 14, 10:22 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK
    • #1
    • 27th Aug 14, 10:22 PM
    Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK 27th Aug 14 at 10:22 PM
    Bewildered, confused, terrified that will lose everything we have worked so hard to build up. Over 70 K unsecured debt and 28K owed to family. Have been self employed for 10 years but business gradually gone down hill in recession. partner went back t o work, on good salary 47K but not enough, plus some money still coming in from business/part time jobs. Have 3 years left of independent school fees (yes we could pull child out but it would destroy him - please don't judge), older child about to go to university and we won't be able to provide much support. Talked to debt charity earlier this year and wrote to some creditors but not all - kept thinking things would improve but they haven't yet, so now need to do the rest - wish I had listened and acted fully 6 months ago. Better late than never I guess. Desperately looking for a job but too stressed to produce good applications. Sleep deprivation and now relationship problems. Have a decent house but don't want to downsize as have elderly parents with health issues who will need our support and probably move in with us. Health beginning to suffer. Don't know how we got ourselves into this state - well educated, professionals, feel totally ashamed, so keep up the pretences with everyone that everything is hunky dory. So sad and depressed.
Page 83
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 17th Mar 17, 9:14 AM
    • 1,458 Posts
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    NoOneAround
    Auto correct and fatigue make for wonderful typing

    Morning
    Don't know where this week has gone.
    Progress made but still plenty to do. Am meeting friend for coffee - haven't seen her in 4 years? her dd and my dd used to be close at primary school.
    This is part of my efforts to expand my world a little more - past few years focussing on family taken its toll, but there are some friends who you can just pick up with where you left off - I think this is one of them.

    Wont get much as done today as then doing my volunteer work this pm.
    10 degrees colder today

    Have a lovely weekend
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 17th Mar 17, 1:32 PM
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    Bobarella
    Hope you have a nice coffee date. I know just what you mean. My social circle has dwindled away as well. Its kind of sad that people stop contacting you just because you dont contact them, especially when you have been there for them through all sorts. It also makes me a bit cross with some (family) who you just think, I could be in a ditch for all you know, thanks for checking!

    I think the isolation from being in debt can be one of the hardest things to take, thank heavens for the forums
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £53.62 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1805.58 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 19th Mar 17, 9:42 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Thanks Bob, had a lovely catch up with friend, hopefully will stay in touch now.

    My isolation in RL has been self induced - mostly because of debt, N but also due to family situation.

    Stayed home this weekend, managed to lawn with DS yesterday, and a bit of tidying with his help. Exhausted myself though so couldn't do any more today. Lots of washing today, most hand wash stuff that need ed drip drying - all done outside Very Eco friendly.

    Also got a nice surprise when I updated meter reading for Electricty today - DD gone down from £60/month to 42 Main difference is that dishwasher not fixed (but that was fairly new and A+ rating but the big one is getting rid of the very old fridge freezer! it was 32 years old
    Will wait til easter sales to get a another as quite difficult to manage with just the one - no room to bulk cook and freeze or buy things on offer.

    Didn't get as much done at home as I wanted. Feeling quite low and unwell, need to talk to dr again tomorrow, so early night again.

    Hope everyone has had a happy weekend
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Fortune Smiles
    • By Fortune Smiles 20th Mar 17, 6:58 AM
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    Fortune Smiles
    Take care NOA - hope you feel better soon.

    Fortune x
    Moving Costs: 100% Mortgage: 25% remaining House Deposit Contribution: 64%

    "It is possible to move mountains by carrying small stones."
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 20th Mar 17, 2:46 PM
    • 10,553 Posts
    • 67,829 Thanks
    Bobarella
    Sorry you are feeling low. Big hugs.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £53.62 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1805.58 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 5th Apr 17, 10:04 AM
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    NoOneAround
    Thank you Fortune Smiles and Bob
    Can't believe its April already

    I've been busily plodding along. Been busy at part time jobs, it's first day off in ages, and can't believe VAT returns due again - just seems like yesterday I did the last quarter. Constant fatigue and foggy head but keeping everything ticking over. Visited mum both weekends. Kids are busy working, its Easter holidays now.
    SE work seems to have slowed a bit, just finishing off projects mainly, no new quotes have come off, need to send another two off today - keeping fingers crossed. Would be difficult to justify big holiday if they don't. Haven't done anything about it but need to decide soon for DH to book the time off at work.

    Its a bright day today, hope to get some admin done, and all bedding done. windows all in desperate need of cleaning, might tackle a couple today.
    need to make a list as am jumping around erratically from thought to thought!
    Hope everyone is well


    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 5th Apr 17, 8:16 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Tackled a few jobs today - have been on the go all day. Focussed on domestic stuff today.

    2 sets bedding washed and dried outside.
    Meals cooked for today and tomorrow, plus some extra to freeze.
    Cleaned kitchen window.
    Repotted a couple of house plants.
    Cleared out and cleaned 2 cutlery drawers in kitchen
    2 bedrooms hoovered
    Pulled out weeds on patio/ swept (need to do more)
    Did physio excercises
    2 Quotes written up ready to post tomorrow
    VAT return successfully avoided but put onlist for tomorrow

    A long soak and an early night again for me.
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 7th Apr 17, 8:34 PM
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    NoOneAround
    VAT return submitted and bill paid just now Did cut it a bit fine though Its been too nice to stay inside, and I have been avoiding it.

    Everything is going wild in the garden, and I've been trying to spend about an hour outside each day, I potter around doing odds and ends, but what it really needs is a team of 4 dashing men folk to do some proper digging, hedge trimming, heavy pruning, etc with me standing watch and throwing over cans of coke when they've worked up a sweat

    Garden continues to be both solace and sad reminder. Wish I had nothing else to do but spend time tending it. Lots more paperwork to do this weekend. Bought some new craft bits in HobbyCrXft again, - adds to the collection which I look at and do nothing with! Am going to get Mum busy making things and maybe book a craft stall at Christmas. She has a lot of time on her hands and she loves knitting/crochet etc. Bought some chunky wool for her....went a bit mad. Trying lots of distractions for us both.

    Have a lovely weekend everyone
    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 7th Apr 17, 10:35 PM
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    Cherryfudge
    Well done re the VAT! What a good idea about the knitting wool. One of my colleagues makes lots of little woollen critters for charity: they are very popular. I'm rather in awe of making Christmas plans already though!
    31 days in May...
    NSDs 10/12, Exercise 11/12, Housekeeping 178.72/160
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 8th Apr 17, 10:09 AM
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    NoOneAround
    Morning A beautiful day here - no admin today methinks!

    Thanks Cherryfudge (love the name!) I have a tendencey to leave all the things I hate doing until the last possible minute - a lifetime habit

    You really don't need to be in awe of the Christmas mention - I have said the same thing every year for eons Nothing has ever come to fruition as life always gets in the way, but I think this year mighht be different. My mum is by herself now and spends loads of time knitting cardigans etc for her friends - her days are long and lonely - she's very creative with patterns - makes things up in her head- I just want to give her something different to do- and she's likely to come up with the goods Plus it gives us something different to talk about when I go and see her.

    Am also goingto revamp our old pc and set it up down there - she's in awe of people being able to video skype so want to teach her how to do that (she's going to be 74 ) I wish she would consider moving, I'd give up ny part time jobs perhaps and set up a cottage industry with her . Having said that, I'd probabaly go mad

    NOA
    x
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Cherryfudge
    • By Cherryfudge 8th Apr 17, 3:32 PM
    • 305 Posts
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    Cherryfudge
    LOL, sometimes we need space between even the closest of people to keep the relationship sane! You may already have come across the Innoc3nt Smo0thies site? They have lots of ideas for ingenious little hats for bottles (I have a feeling they may also fit certain spherical gold-wrapped chocolates). If she adapted some - say for wrapped home made truffles - she could have a nice line going for craft stalls.

    Have fun with the PC. It could be a big positive for her.
    31 days in May...
    NSDs 10/12, Exercise 11/12, Housekeeping 178.72/160
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 9th Apr 17, 9:28 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Thanks CherryFudge, I had a look at the site - thanks for the tip
    I have put together a little collection of pics on pinterest for her so we'll see where we go
    I'm going down to see her during the week.

    Its been a lovely weekend, pottering in the garden, doing bits and pieces of tidying around the house, cleared another couple of drawers, Lots of washing all dried outside. No paid work done, will catch up on that during the week.

    Also went for a lovely walk at local NT place with DD - ended up chatting to a lovely old couple who had come up from London for a day out who were resting on a bench on the way out. It was so funny watching them interact with each other - obviously - we talked about the USA taking everything over and leaving us with nothing, Georgette Heyer and historical romances, how the world has changed and kids just want to get drunk, how discipline was paramount, and how everyone looked after each other in the good old days Gap years and world travel, and a friend of theirs who is an eternal student who has dozens of degrees and has done everything there is to do. Both real characters

    Took some beautiful pictures of everything coming into bloom both at the NT place and in the garden. Feeling some peace.

    Should spend a full day working tomorrow If I can, have been quite lax last few days.

    Early night now, aiming for an early start.

    NOA
    xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 10th Apr 17, 9:17 PM
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    NoOneAround
    1) Productive day today for SE work, good progress made.
    2) Also sent 2 overdue invoices.
    3) Updated I & E and sent off to a couple of creditors.
    4) FINALLY managed to cancel Virg"n sim card - they make it impossible - have paid £8/month for nothing since December as couldn't get through security (forgotten username/pw as had never used, tried numerous times to reset but it wouldn't recognise my email (even though I get bills on it!?!) = Biggest achievement of the day!

    NOA
    xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 12th Apr 17, 5:07 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Went to see Mum yesterday and stayed overnight. We did a few jobs, ( trip to tip, some stuff to charity shop, an account changed from joint to her sole name, a little grocery shop etc) and she liked the wool I bought and I showed her loads of pics on pinterest for ideas. She seemed quite keen at first but was feeling a bit down, (back hurting, politics/gossip where she volunteers), so we took it easy. Came back today, more catching up to do with work, need to get on top before next week when am back to part time jobs pretty much full time for next couple of months.

    Feeling quite exhausted from drive back , plus hardly slept last night, so haven't been very productive this afternoon
    Temp dropped by 15 degrees , feeling the need to put on heating
    We have spent £500 more than last year on heating - I think I have had it on much more as have really felt the cold even though it has not really been a particularly bad winter. Will need to make a top up payment or DD will need to go up to £200/month for oil

    No real plans for Easter weekend, will take DS/DD to see Mum Sunday/Monday as then they will be into exams/finals so will be pretty busy until end June.

    Have a lovely long weekend,
    NOA
    xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Bobarella
    • By Bobarella 12th Apr 17, 5:19 PM
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    Bobarella
    Hi NOA

    Just popping in to say hello. I'm glad you have both the children around for the weekend. It will be nice for your Mum to see them.

    I wondered if the reason you had felt the cold more was sleeping worse? That always makes me feel cold. Hope the warmer weather will help you.

    Have a good evening.

    Bob
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe"

    Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £53.62 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1805.58 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
    • brizzledfw
    • By brizzledfw 13th Apr 17, 12:22 AM
    • 6,786 Posts
    • 32,567 Thanks
    brizzledfw
    You're doing brilliantly NOA, great to have you posting again xx
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal
    May '17 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [Apr 10%]
    Declutter 50 items before 31.05.17 20/50 ** LSDs Target 5 for May 04/05 **AFDs 09/20 ** Sales Target '17 £750 £80 so far
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    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 13th Apr 17, 6:40 AM
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    • 12,583 Thanks
    Verbatim
    Glad you have the Easter break with your dc. You are juggling all the balls!
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 13th Apr 17, 9:59 AM
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    NoOneAround
    Thank You Bob, Brizzle and Verbatim
    It will be nice to take kids down to see Mum. I have been by myself most of the time. I think part of the time they have avoided going with me because it feels different now. I haven't pushed it.

    Re cold/sleep Bob, you are probably right, being tired always makes me feel colder, but I have noticed my hands are now always icily cold. I also haven't been as frugal with the heating as being warmer helps the RA aches and pains - that makes me sound really old

    It's lovely again today, will do some SE work, then more admin for mum, hopefully some time in garden later. House is a mess as I started lots of spring cleaning jobs and didn't finish any of them

    Also need to go out and get a wedding card/gift vouchers and post them recorder delivery today - the wedding is on Saturday so I have left it rather late quite possible it may not get there in time

    Must get on with things...
    NOA
    xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
    • Puzzcat
    • By Puzzcat 13th Apr 17, 10:03 AM
    • 3,878 Posts
    • 16,054 Thanks
    Puzzcat
    Thank You Bob, Brizzle and Verbatim
    It will be nice to take kids down to see Mum. I have been by myself most of the time. I think part of the time they have avoided going with me because it feels different now. I haven't pushed it.

    Re cold/sleep Bob, you are probably right, being tired always makes me feel colder, but I have noticed my hands are now always icily cold. I also haven't been as frugal with the heating as being warmer helps the RA aches and pains - that makes me sound really old

    It's lovely again today, will do some SE work, then more admin for mum, hopefully some time in garden later. House is a mess as I started lots of spring cleaning jobs and didn't finish any of them

    Also need to go out and get a wedding card/gift vouchers and post them recorder delivery today - the wedding is on Saturday so I have left it rather late quite possible it may not get there in time

    Must get on with things...
    NOA
    xx
    Originally posted by NoOneAround
    Good Morning Noah,

    I can totally relate to the cold hands.. I am sitting here typing and mine are freezing but like you I am trying to resist heating up the house so just keep making tea..!!! My house is always cold without heating, a blessing in the summer but not for the spring when we want to have the heating off.. did give in last night and put it on for an hour...

    Hope you have a lovely Easter with your children and your mum, and hope you get some r & r time for you..

    Much Love Puzz. x
    Christmas 2017 £300 cash/£80 vouchers
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    • NoOneAround
    • By NoOneAround 18th Apr 17, 10:03 PM
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    NoOneAround
    Thanks Puzz
    We had a nice time, quite, but family together. Heating....yes Ive had it on everyday for and hour or two what a wimp I am read something recently about keeping wrists warm would help - need to sort out some fingerless gloves.....

    DS and DD now both quite stressed, little moments of panicky flutters escaping through their outwardly calm appearances. Probably need to not run off to Mum's every week and be at home for DS these next few weeks.

    Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. I was back at part time job today

    Kitted out DS at Sp*orts Drekkt today - new rugby boots, new sports bag and a rugby ball £70

    BAck to school runs tomorrow, Best get an early night ....

    NOA
    xx
    Feb2014 Total unsecured debt £72,520>>01/06/16 £68166>01/04/17 £67,262=7.25%PAID
    Mortgage Jan14=209,800 Jan15=£200,300Jan16 £190,800 Jan17£180,700
    Health/Fitness Challenges Priority#1 Stay Fit and healthy - whatever it takes
    Wombling Free Cash May2016 £51
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