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  • FIRST POST
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 28th Jul 14, 11:24 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Life begins again at 45
    • #1
    • 28th Jul 14, 11:24 AM
    Life begins again at 45 28th Jul 14 at 11:24 AM
    This is the 28th Monday I have been off sick due to my disability.

    Rather than totally focusing on my ill health.

    I wanted to begin to focus on positive things, to be proactive and regain some control in my life......... One area to do this is focusing on our budget and debt, especially as SSP is about a quarter of my salary.

    I know that this year is going to be a turning point . I am determined that this will be life affirming.

    I do count myself very privileged my OH and I live in a beautiful bungalow, over looking a water meadow near the Thames (was a little scary this year, when we became Noah's Ark, when the area flooded).

    We have two cats , nice cars, the ability to go on holiday, heat andhave yummy food in our tummies.

    However we have a reasonable amount of debt built up from making improvements on our home and escaping life for R & R.

    We are also both disabled and so we do have many additional costs along the way, if we want to live life in a healthy way. We both qualify for DLA but we may loose this under PIP despite having life time awards due to CP (me) and triple amputee (OH).

    Neither of us have worn our disabilities as who we are, we both have worked full time, in good jobs thanks to our parents refusing special schools in the 1970's and us getting fantastic academic educations.

    Now my disability is impacting my health and I worry about our debt, and how I am going to be able to financially contribute to our lifestyle in the future.

    So, this diary is about debt busting and exploring how I can creatively improve my income from home. (Going out to work is going to be severely restricted going forward).

    Look forward to sharing my world to others .....
    Last edited by Bubblesmum; 28-07-2014 at 11:28 AM. Reason: Spelling !
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
Page 31
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 9th May 17, 1:30 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Sunday 7th May
    Alarm went off at 7.30am - this gave me time, a drink, body to sort itself out. However I did read instead of doing meditation and mindful movement!

    Had a shower, put nice clothes on, hair make up and breakfast. It was a Paelo breakfast

    Church - I was very sad at one of my "friends" reactions when I said I couldn't hear the "talk" which she did her reaction was "tough" and I also felt very awkward about how she has in the past spoken to another friend in a very off hand way. I tried to appease the situation. Need to rephrase a bit. "She has a generous heart but at times her social skills can be rather off-putting"

    As we got home from church friends opposite were outside and we went in for a mug of tea and a catchup. Of all the people in our road, these are the ones I want to spend time with.

    Lunch with friends - really glorious not talking about ourselves, the world in general art, doing things, current affairs. No having to take on the difficulties of others No emotional investment. Just good company.

    However, was not paelo friendly with wine and a rum baba for pud!

    Home to coffee and a non confrontational Bramleys meeting, which was not focused on money. More our social diary.

    Apart from Labour work, OH did put the lights on Gumtree, would you be willing... changing language and its getting positive responses...

    Then I relaxed in front of the TV with my crochet and decided to go to bed at a reasonable time to read
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 9th May 17, 4:08 PM
    • 46,812 Posts
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    beanielou
    Life is for living. Sometimes getting the balance right can be tricky.
    Enjoy the book as a lovely momento
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 10th May 17, 10:45 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Monday 8th May 2017
    Beanielou, Thank you for starting this weeks reflection. Bt reminding me that Life is for Living, I truly think when we are living with chronic illness and disability we get weighed down with the negatives of life and forget to live in the present...

    I wrote this is my journal "Another Monday, and another fresh start, but I am feeling positive and I want to keep going on that feeling."

    I had two commitments today to manage. Pilates session first time in well over a month and a meeting in the evening.

    One of the important things that I am learning with my wellbeing coach is to journal, thoughts feelings, reflections on how I am managing my day etc... so this was my priority first thing after I got up.

    My other focus is on the Christian Aid campaign, so that took up time...

    On the domestic front I ( please hear trumpet sounding and a roll of drums ) the washing up, everything that doesn't go in the dishwasher and empty / fill said item... its the job I struggle with... probably physically as its bending and standing in one place.

    I failed on the washing front though, husband has no decent clean underpants....

    I did remember to get out cooked meats for tea, which OH prepared while I showered to smarten myself up for the rector and another coming to talk social media.

    I thought said other person would be a social media guru - thats how it was presented to me, turns out I knew more than him! PS I thought I could hand this over, while possibly in the future but it will be me sorting the logistics out

    Finished the day with a late viewing of Masterchef as its final week... the right person went I think
    Last edited by Bubblesmum; 10-05-2017 at 10:47 AM. Reason: spelling
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 10th May 17, 11:20 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Tuesday 9th May
    I am continuing to try and focus on the positive and good, today I decided to use the techniques and strategies that the wellbeing coach is teaching me to have a successful day rather than one that could have its focus on struggling.

    I woke up not the best in physical health, a combination of pilates yesterday, no massage last week and the fourth week after the osteopath.

    However we were off to the Royal Albert Hall to watch Brassed Off on the big screen accompanied by live music Royal Philharmonic orchestra and the stars the Grimethorpe Brass Band. Using theatre vouchers given as presents.

    So I spent the day in front of the lap top, supporting cleaner whose family tragedy has reached the media again this week, as the police have closed the investigation and passed to the coroner. It really makes you think, we just read news headlines then move on, where as loved ones are left behind their lives changed forever.

    We drove up, and we had booked imperial college parking £10 deal with the RAH and we stopped at McD's this time choosing the other route into London so we could use the drive through. With a burger then a pint before hand, we felt it was the right nourishment before the film!

    Have to say hearing a brass band live is spine chilling, and the subject matter still so relevant today...
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 11th May 17, 1:16 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Wednesday 10th May
    Sitting here at my dining room table, with "piles" of stuff" I have to do, i am trying to chip away at each pile. Reading Karmacat's diary ( from las year) She talks about 15 mins on each coloured list. So here's the list.

    1. Christian Aid Campaign
    2. Health Trust
    3. Professional CPD
    4. Church Other
    5. Amateur Dramatics
    6. Personal

    Currently I am focused on 1 and 6 ( the latter being the homework for the health/wellbeing sessions

    I made Paelo snack balls while eating a bread roll

    I completed the Washing - OH has clean pants

    i remembered to get fish out of the freezer and healthy oily fish as well.

    I chose to go to Church PCC meeting changing the energy force from I am struggling to find the energy but I have to go... and using an energy visualisation.

    Home to Masterchef and Toberone - South Africa and the Big 5 - its definitely on my dream list...
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 12th May 17, 4:55 PM
    • 4,115 Posts
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    Sun Addict
    Glad you got round to the laundry
    Virtual Sealed Pot £547.82
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 15th May 17, 12:28 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Thursday 11th May
    Started the morning following up a letter from the health Trust to my GP, saying the recent referral could not be processed as they had not got the correct blood info!!! . Telephoned my practice, who were less than helpful. Their copy had not reached their system yet.
    I can see this is going to be a saga

    Spent the morning - keeping going with admin - you guessed it Christian Aid Campaign only a few more days to go

    Then into the village I needed to empty the boot of the charity items and bags I put in a couple of weeks ago. Dropped donations off to the Marie Curie organiser for the summer fair and picked up my new library books .

    On to HRH's Farm shop to meet a family member who has fgfted me her hall curtain. She treated me to a cuppa and cake . I treated the household to some lovely veg.

    By the time I got home, i am afraid to say my back and neck were roaring in pain. So i did very little for the rest of the day.
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 15th May 17, 3:38 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Friday 12th May
    Monthly London Trip to osteopath - boy did I need it.

    Was on the very early train , so I admit I went to my favourite cafe for coffee and danish . It also does have a very good disabled loo!

    Had an interesting few minutes trying to get into the building for my appointments, due to pavement closures and cement mixers and a busy London Road . In the end I was lifted onto the pavement by two burly construction workers

    All worth it for the healing hands of the two therapists I see.

    Lunch was on the go from the whole food shop, before a really big treat of a facial, that admit I have felt very guilty about afterwards but I have to say it was bliss, and so lovely to have something done to my body which is not painful.

    Floated back to Waterloo and continued my naughty shopping wth a Paello recipe book. a healthy salad tea break rather than cake!

    Home to a quiet evening being for once sore but straight!

    Spending
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 15th May 17, 6:48 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Saturday 13th and Sunday 14th May
    It was meant to be a very busy day, but it went a bit pear shaped.

    After treatment yesterday I decided to have a quiet morning in bed, reading a favourite woman author.

    Then I decided to tackle the kitchen and the saucepan draw which was yuk. Was getting on well. OH was out at the horticultural plant sale

    I was just sitting down with a coffee when OH appeared, our round trip to Henley to drop the car off for repair had been cancelled as the part wasn't in. Relief!!!

    Then the phone rung, Dad's friend who he is on holiday with - diastole he was in an ambulance off to A & E. He had fallen in the shower and had really hurt his lower back.

    So then the next couple of hours thinking do we need to drop everything and go up. I have loads still to do re Christian Aid. I had a hair cut booked, we were going to a friends in the evening, what about church in the morning.

    Dad and I have a complex relationship we love each other dearly, but are very alike, hate fuss, want to remain independent etc. So I was reluctant to drop everything and go up. I had though to be at the end of the phone. so i cancelled everything on Saturday.

    Head down sorting stuff.

    In the end Dad was discharged back to his holiday bungalow black and blue and with a hairline fracture in his lower back vertebrae

    didn't sleep well saturday night, despite an early one, as really unsure how to handle this, dutiful daughter verses protecting myself

    Sunday

    I worshiped at the 8am, did projector for the 11.15am an did notices at 8 9.30 and 11.15! I was knackered when i got in.

    Brucie bonus was that OH cooked me chipolatas and eggs mid morning when I sneaked home. a lovely salad for lunch.

    Was soaking in the bath when best mate arrived, and then escaped down the pub with him to celebrate his birthday with a roast.

    We came home and all collapsed in front of the BAFTA's we kept saying to each other have you seen that programme!! "No"

    I am beginning to understand that alcohol and dairy have major impacts on my body and sleep. too much Malbec and Bread and Butter Pudding
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 15th May 17, 8:45 PM
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    please-let-me-be-lucky
    Sorry to hear about Dad, hope he's ok now and you are both over the fright Xx
    Debts @ LBM £23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 £0

    NSDs achieved in August- 1/5
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 15th May 17, 9:55 PM
    • 46,812 Posts
    • 167,229 Thanks
    beanielou
    Not such good news on your dad.
    Hope he is on the mend really soon.
    Glad you enjoyed your facial.
    Remember you are worth it
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 18th May 17, 4:27 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Monday 15th May
    I decided to cancel my commitments today, in case I had to drop everything to get Dad home.

    After speaking to him, where he appeared to be recovering and the plan was to come back here later in the week.

    I put my head down to sort the rest of Christian Aid week - why does admin seem to take all day?

    Lovely OH made cod hash and he returned home from dropping buckets back with a bottle of wine as we were working so hard. Work stopped play then
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 18th May 17, 5:12 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Tuesday 16th May
    I was up and just about to dry my hair in readiness to go into school to do the school assembly. When my Dad's friend rung at the end of her tether...

    So OH dropped everything and drove to Suffolk ( from Surrey). Then I had an interesting (not) couple of hours debating how to get my Father home

    Friend was saying laying flat in a private ambulance

    GP was saying dosed up on analgesia should be ok to come home in the car.....

    On phone to friend apparently he had been hell to live with since being discharged from A & E. I was soooooo . A real drama Queen, ignoring all medical advice given and being very horrible, so infact making the situation worse. Not to mention not eating so his diabetic levels!!!

    Once OH got there and assessed situation we decided to go wth the car option, and I set off for Dad's to arrange for bed to be moved downstairs into the dining room. Fortunately cousins who decorated still there, so could help, I made tea, and spoke to numerous people trying to put things in place.

    OH decided to drive home that night so that meant staying at Dad's longer. I went out to get my cousins Pizza as a Thank you as i couldn't have sorted the downstairs bed without them.

    So when Dad arrived, I expected my cousin to need to nearly carry him in, Oh no, he walked in, a bit unsteady, but actually really well, and instead of going straight to bed he inspected the painting. All the while moaning and groaning in a theatrical way.

    I must admit, I was shattered so when all I could hear was praise and kind words to everyone else and when I went near terse words, or a poor poor me look. I was internally getting more and more .

    Swiftly departed leaving my car there and went home with OH. It was nearly 10 O'clock.
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 18th May 17, 8:54 PM
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    Sun Addict
    Sorry to hear your dad has been in the wars

    On a lighter note, some people will do anything to be manhandled by burly builders!
    Virtual Sealed Pot £547.82
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 22nd May 17, 10:16 AM
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    Bubblesmum

    On a lighter note, some people will do anything to be manhandled by burly builders!
    Originally posted by Sun Addict
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 22nd May 17, 11:11 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Wednesday 17th May
    I awoke feeling shattered and knowing I had a difficult day a head.

    OH made me a bacon butty, and coffee fortified me for firstly ringing Dad's friend to see how she was

    We had a full and frank discussion . She is so with him. She is a very compassionate person, and has much sympathy and understanding for what he has done. However it became even more apparent that he had not helped himself, and in her words treated her like a "skivey"

    She indicated that she was going to draw away from the relationship/friendship, which I know will hit him hard.

    Arrived just before a GP home visit. I have to say, was impressed as they have been very helpful since I rung yesterday. Compassionate, friendly but firm.

    Told me to ring social services, which I did, and i have to say was so impressed an occupational therapist came out later that afternoon, she works a 12 hour shift, 8 tip 8 which she says makes such a difference, traditionally OT's worked 8 - 4 or 9 - 5. Again compassionate, friendly, helpful, with aids but very firm about what he should be doing about moving. Lying in bed not helpful we got the line of, "I thought if I rested in bed, the pain would ease" Despite all the medical professionals his friend and me saying he needed to mobilise. ! . At one point he had four people running around to his command.

    I am afraid, I got tough with him, as I had decided that he wasn't going to bully me into doing things, plus I wasn't going to react to his poor me, child/victim/helpless persona that he is living at the moment. For one thing it will not help his recovery.

    I am really sympathetic about the pain he is in, I want to do everything I possibly can to help him in these early days, but as they say, it takes two to tango, and for him to recover, he has to take head and do as is recommended.

    I have to admit when he said to me ( after saying to him, in a kind way, he had been very mean to his friend) he said "I have in mind to send flowers to said friend and her daughter - would you like some" With said friends comment about he thinks he can treat me badly then make up with flowers! ring in my ear I said no. I have to say this was after a couple of hours moaning and complaining either at me or about others, while being all polite to the other three!

    i also was trying not to generate negative feelings, while sorting social services I could hear him laughing and talking with his niece and nephew, interested in their lives. However, when trying to make conversation and distract him from his pain, I talked about my new appointment as a Governor and all the work around Christian Aid ( the latter he supports) but again he took no interest. I had missed my first governor meeting the night before, which was fine, my Dad comes first, but I was so sad that he wasn't even interested in my life.

    I went home gone seven completely washed out to my lovely OH and my cats
    Last edited by Bubblesmum; 22-05-2017 at 11:21 AM.
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 22nd May 17, 8:26 PM
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    beanielou
    Hurrah for lovely OH's & cats though.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 23rd May 17, 2:58 PM
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    • 6,102 Thanks
    Bubblesmum
    Thursday 18th May
    So In my diary, I had school assembly, but was so shattered, I decided that had to go.

    Managed to get to friends for midday to go to the cash and carry, and bless her she was a great listening ear and than on our return gave me an impromptu lunch.

    Must admit can't really remember the rest of the day. So tired...

    Except to say carers are in place with Dad, spoke to him, he is struggling with the pain, and can't get his head around the fact that its going to be painful for some time to come. I am at a loss to know what to say.
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 24th May 17, 9:45 PM
    • 46,812 Posts
    • 167,229 Thanks
    beanielou
    Difficult to know what to say.
    Take care of you xx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 26th May 17, 11:27 AM
    • 1,055 Posts
    • 6,102 Thanks
    Bubblesmum
    Friday 19th May
    The focus today was Christian Aid at school.

    I could be found at the school gate at the beginning and end of school, as my fellow volunteer said to me, its funny how you become invisible when you have a tabard on!

    We handed out a lot of flyers about the big brekkie, and raised awareness

    Managed to fit in a massage in between which was appreciated.

    The rest of the day was preparing for the next day
    Mrs B Debt £1857 @ 13/06/2017, £1790 16/06/2017
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