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  • FIRST POST
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 28th Jul 14, 11:24 AM
    • 987Posts
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    Bubblesmum
    Life begins again at 45
    • #1
    • 28th Jul 14, 11:24 AM
    Life begins again at 45 28th Jul 14 at 11:24 AM
    This is the 28th Monday I have been off sick due to my disability.

    Rather than totally focusing on my ill health.

    I wanted to begin to focus on positive things, to be proactive and regain some control in my life......... One area to do this is focusing on our budget and debt, especially as SSP is about a quarter of my salary.

    I know that this year is going to be a turning point . I am determined that this will be life affirming.

    I do count myself very privileged my OH and I live in a beautiful bungalow, over looking a water meadow near the Thames (was a little scary this year, when we became Noah's Ark, when the area flooded).

    We have two cats , nice cars, the ability to go on holiday, heat andhave yummy food in our tummies.

    However we have a reasonable amount of debt built up from making improvements on our home and escaping life for R & R.

    We are also both disabled and so we do have many additional costs along the way, if we want to live life in a healthy way. We both qualify for DLA but we may loose this under PIP despite having life time awards due to CP (me) and triple amputee (OH).

    Neither of us have worn our disabilities as who we are, we both have worked full time, in good jobs thanks to our parents refusing special schools in the 1970's and us getting fantastic academic educations.

    Now my disability is impacting my health and I worry about our debt, and how I am going to be able to financially contribute to our lifestyle in the future.

    So, this diary is about debt busting and exploring how I can creatively improve my income from home. (Going out to work is going to be severely restricted going forward).

    Look forward to sharing my world to others .....
    Last edited by Bubblesmum; 28-07-2014 at 11:28 AM. Reason: Spelling !
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
Page 27
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 20th Mar 17, 9:41 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Thursday 16th March
    Another high fatigue day - consequence of my activities yesterday.

    Read, Paul O'Grady

    Sport Massage

    Did get to Amateur Dramatics - I still have a lot to do re Props

    It frankly was a murrrr day !

    PSD - Drink and a packet of Crisps 1.70
    Last edited by Bubblesmum; 20-03-2017 at 9:42 AM. Reason: PSD
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 20th Mar 17, 9:56 AM
    • 46,059 Posts
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    beanielou
    Slow down
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 20th Mar 17, 10:10 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Friday 17th March
    Finally I got my act together and went to see my GP.

    Getting to see her was a circus in itself - I couldn't find any parking, I had decided to use my wheelchair, phoned the receptionists to tell them, well if I couldn't park I would have to go home! Eventually I parked blocking in the doctors - fine unless an emergency.

    I have a fab GP - empathetic but is equally blunt in a kind way. I was astonished to get an appointment the next day as normally I wait a fortnight to see her.

    However, the reason for the car park chaos and standing room only in the waiting room was that they are running a sit and wait clinic for conditions needing treating that day.

    I cam home with a pile of paperwork . The biggest trying to get my head around is that my GP still thinks the same as in 2014 that I will never work again

    We discussed menopause - not a lot she can do unless I want HRT which I don't because of the link with breast cancer, 5 page handout to read instead!

    She did agree to refer me to the chronic fatigue clinic but I need the right bloods!!!

    Finally she gave me the talking therapies leaflet to see if I wanted to talk to anyone about this situation.

    Lots of food for thought, wasn't that happier a bunny

    Cheered myself with a lovely spring walk with Mr Borrow My Doggy and then finished my book the 4th Paul O'Grady autobiography book

    Evening was spent knitting in front of the TV... definitely feel like an old lady.
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • *Robin*
    • By *Robin* 20th Mar 17, 12:48 PM
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    *Robin*
    Well done for getting in to see your GP despite the difficulties..
    Re "the Change" I had similar issues with HRT (contra-indicated because of medical history). There are plenty of natural supplements which do just as good a job - or maybe better when one considers the risks of HRT even for healthy women. I took: Siberian Ginseng, vitamin E, Evening Primrose oil and [for a short while] Black Cohosh - but there are others; best to do your own reading and take info to your GP if you're unsure which ones to try.

    Also worth doing your own reading about thyroid function blood tests - the most useful ones [free T3 & reverse T3] are not normally done on the NHS, so be prepared to fight (or go private).

    Mr Borrow my Doggie sounds lovely.. and very therapeutic!
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 20th Mar 17, 2:31 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Beanielou & Robin Thank you, both giving me food for thought.

    Yes Mr BMD is the best therapeutic medicine, even when he has got hold of something he should not and chewing it
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 20th Mar 17, 2:45 PM
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    Bubblesmum
    Saturday 17th and Sunday 18th March
    Saturday morning was Messy Church - it was good to get out and socialise even if in the course of the morning I had to go up and down the old stone steps three times

    In the midst I got a cheeky Costalota coffee break, and returned books to library - so satisfying

    Messy Church includes lunch and several alternatives other than sandwiches

    Home - sorting out old curtains to put on Gumtree, and they I quietly knitted in front of Morse on DVD, OH went across the road to watch the Rugby.

    I was really grumpy in the evening, I am blaming the hormones. Sulked in bed and watched Casualty on the laptop, superb performances.

    Sunday

    Still Grumpy but in the end we got out of the house and drove into London to Tate Modern, had a very yummy lunch and tea and cake with the Elton John exhibition in between. That was superb he collects old photographs from the 1920's and 1930's of people, places and objects, often with the photographers trying new techniques. There were over a hundred photos. The only hitch with looking from a wheelchair you do get a crick in your neck

    Home to cuddles with Gaston, a lap tea and Vera, another great gritty drama

    Costalota 2.95

    Tate postcards 2
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 20th Mar 17, 5:53 PM
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    beanielou
    So to get down to the nitty gritty what do you think of what the GP said?
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 22nd Mar 17, 10:56 AM
    • 987 Posts
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    Bubblesmum
    So to get down to the nitty gritty what do you think of what the GP said?
    Originally posted by beanielou
    Relieved but NOT having got to the accepting the situation bit of the journey

    I have always needed another person's permission to be unwell. Stems from childhood and my mother not allowing my disability to interrupt her expectation of a "normal childhood". I have to be horizontal, have D & V for her not to send me to school. I had two major ops when I was a child, and went to school in a plastercast. roasting and reading in bed late into the morning at a weekend or school holiday was "lazy". Up washed and dressed was the order of the day. This though backfired when I got very very tired and grumpy.

    Despite feeling yuk today, and having a warm bed to be in with the blessing from my OH and two cats joining me, I am up and dressed awaiting delivery of loo rolls.

    In my heart I think I have known for a long time that regular work was out of the question but I am really struggling to accept it. Along with laziness in childhood there was the emphasis on education (that they never got) and earning my own money. Mum left school at 14 and Dad at 16. My Father has a decent pension, he went to night school and went to the top of his profession ( occupational pensions) is very generous, and helps us out a lot, like wheelchairs etc. After he is gone I will be financially secure. However I was taught not to take this for granted and work hard.... to financially contribute to the household.

    At the end of the day I am not ready to "retire" yet on ill health and still in my head see this as a sabbatical. Hence paying my three professional subscriptions and continue doing CPD.

    There are positives I am doing ok, I have no pressure as such to go back to work, my OH salary covers all the monthly outgoings, but we do have debt. We are currently looking at a car repair bill of nearly 1K . Meaning we will need to look to change the car sooner rather that later. .

    Alongside not financially contributing....

    A friend commented on email "I am sorry to hear about the chronic fatigue flare up which must be very frustrating because of its unpredictability let along what an active person you are,"

    So finally thats the rub, I am naturally a very active person, always doing, and finding myself feeling constantly exhausted and struggling to complete even the smallest of tasks, frustrating, upsetting etc etc.

    I am sitting at my desk by the bay window looking into the garden, its dull and pouring with rain. Very much how I feel. However there is a row of golden daffodils and a forsythia bringing a glimpse of sunshine.

    There is sunshine in my life, I am not living on ESA as so many in my position. I know I should be thankful and count my blessings, and I do, I need though to find peace and acceptance in this situation.

    Thanks Beanieloufor asking....

    I need a drink, the menopause situation will be for another post.
    Last edited by Bubblesmum; 22-03-2017 at 8:52 PM. Reason: Adding the NOT !
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 22nd Mar 17, 8:17 PM
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    beanielou
    Thank you for sharing that Bubbles.
    Pretty much my thoughts.
    People tell me to slow down & finally in my 55th year I am forced to as my body just wont do as I wish.
    But I refuse to be in the house all the time as I would go mad so I do as much as I can as none of us know what is round the corner.
    I try not to think about getting older rotfl:

    On the plus side we are both strong woman & we can do what we need to be.
    I salute you my friend.
    Never forget what a wonderful strong woman you are.
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 27th Mar 17, 10:33 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Monday 19th March
    Fatigue - medium

    Drove to and from Pilates

    Shepperton Players in the Evening
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 27th Mar 17, 10:41 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Tuesday 21 March
    A Mr Borrow My Doggy Day

    We were both a listening ear to our cleaner whose current family story makes you really count your blessings.

    We decided we needed to get out and get some air, so the outside cafe was our destination... and found it closed.

    So where next with a dog and a scooter and OH in the car, the pub along the river, we arrived, we couldn't go inside, dog and access, shall we sit outside it was a biting wind... and the lunch menu. posh tapas rather than basic pub grab.... we went home for HM beef broth and we achieved the breath of air to revive our spirit.

    A personal NSD both yesterday and today.
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 27th Mar 17, 10:51 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Wednesday 22nd March
    A day at home - needed it to recharge

    Looked at finances and paid some bills:

    Hootsuite - 11.99

    Ancestry 13.99

    Church Donation 20.00

    Props 5.78

    Storage 0.79

    Drink AMDRams 1.20

    Amateur Dramatics in the evening

    So tired, only a fortnight to go.....
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 27th Mar 17, 10:56 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Thursday 23rd March
    Another quiet day, and really struggling with my emotions, hormones raging

    Sports massage

    Final rehearsal for the week ..... with relief

    Personal NSD
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 27th Mar 17, 11:13 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Friday 31 March 2017
    Morning started with a blood test at the health centre - found it very stressful, just trying to get in with parking and people parking over the dropped curb (using the wheelie)

    Talked to the practice manager about it, and she was very helpful but then dropped the bombshell that the practice is in trouble financially due to the landlords NHS Property services putting up the monthly business rates from around 700 a month to 8000! A letter to patients came out later that day. Would be devastating if we lost the health centre.

    Afternoon I had Mr BMD who is always the best tonic to cheer everyone up

    We also had that cheeky lunch at the bridge cafe in the sun.

    Evening was spent in front of Comic Relief... not sure why... did enjoy Love Actually and David Tennent

    Hormones still all over the pace and was in a mood!!! Poor OH

    Bought the Good Beer Guide for his Easter Pressie 12.99
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • please-let-me-be-lucky
    • By please-let-me-be-lucky 27th Mar 17, 7:37 PM
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    • 43,539 Thanks
    please-let-me-be-lucky
    That is some rent increase . 700 to 8000!!! Hope they don't have to close.

    Love Actually was very good on Comic Relief.

    Hope hormones level out soon Xx
    Debts @ LBM 23,729.31. Debts @ 08/04/2016 0

    NSDs achieved in May - 1/5
    Florida spending 'pot' - 436.00/1000
    Lbs lost - 13.5
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 27th Mar 17, 9:36 PM
    • 46,059 Posts
    • 162,657 Thanks
    beanielou
    Some rent increase indeed
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 2 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.*** ***Keep plodding***
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 29th Mar 17, 11:11 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Saturday 25th and Sunday 26th March
    I am having a sneaky 10 minutes with my coffee, as Daddy is here, a refuge while his car is serviced up the road, I have furnished him with a crossword!

    Saturday was hard going, I spent most of it in bed, feeling exhausted. OH did my Gumtree run and got lights for our living room, never used and half the price it would cost us from suppliers

    Decided need to get out so we went for an early dinner to try a new pub from the CAMRA guide, was pleasantly surprised, a really good non chain local with decent ale, and pub grab, total came to under 30 for two which is a least 1/3 cheaper than our local.

    OH went into the Sainsbury's on the way home I was going to buy the Comic Relief craft book but they had sold our and I resisted another general one.

    I went back to the car to read with my phone light . It was surprisingly busy at about 8pm.

    Did have one heart in mouth moment on way home 5 ponies loose on a road with no street lighting, phoned 101, they had a call 10 minutes before, and said we have passed to Thames Valley, we were literally on the border and with no sign of everyone, I was afraid of speeding cars...

    I was in bed by 8.50 before the clocks went back... reading, we managed 10 hours!

    Sunday I was on duty and then we had a friend for lunch but by the time she left......

    I am reading a lot at the moment.
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 29th Mar 17, 11:32 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Monday 27th March
    I love my body, it likes to go out in sympathy with my GP, as yet another day of feeling crap...

    Feeling nauseous for most of it, got to Pilates but couldn't finish the session, and couldn't complete a few chore on the way home

    Now my OH and I are like the tortoise and the hare, he is the tortoise and Mr Cautious, laid back, and most often than not despite my concerns on a subject, comes up smelling of roses. Which is all well and good at times but Monday was not the day.

    Out nearly 11 year old car which has now done well over 120k is showing wear and tear, and causing eye watering repair bills. I had come to the conclusion that we would be looking for a new car, rather than keep forking out more money, a few weeks ago, OH has come to this conclusion now, have spending another 500

    I was not happy and my body felt stressed up to the top.

    Although we both have cars, mine is a Saloon ( the mobility scooter fitted...) and his the estate that takes both our wheelchairs .

    I missed rehearsals and like monopoly I went straight to bed and didn't pass go!
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • Bubblesmum
    • By Bubblesmum 29th Mar 17, 11:44 AM
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    Bubblesmum
    Tuesday 28th March
    I had a better nights sleep, OH didn't I sent him back to the garage ... and to work, wanted him out of my hair !

    I took my car to have an MOT, thankfully it passed with flying colours. I was terribly shocked at a customers conversation, with the reception team, he was known to them, I thought initially a pleasant sort of chap in his 50's he was making a fuss of a little black pug belonging to one of the receptionists. He then went on to talk about a new mechanic in another garage, in a very derogatory manner and then said he's the colour of Nelson (the pug) - what I call under the radar racism.

    Gave away the orchid that we were given on Sunday to our cleaner, I love flowers but I like Orchids, as she well knows! Her family tragedy aftermath, continues and I feel so much for her.

    Mr BM doggy in the afternoon, he does bring joy, so pleased to be with me.

    Still tired and now in pain, my head was stuck in a book, finished Anne Neville the wife of Richard 111.

    We also finished watching Ski's Portrait Artist of the Year, with the winner painting Graham Norton. Made me want to go to Ireland for the fantastic scenery. Graham has a gorgeous Mum.

    Finally caught up....

    No news re the Health Centre, other than outrage on FB and it being on the local news.....
    Mrs B Debt 1876 @ 5/01/2017
    • *Robin*
    • By *Robin* 29th Mar 17, 4:26 PM
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    *Robin*
    Fingers crossed your health centre survives, Bubbles!

    They don't make cars like they used to, do they? Hope you can find a decent replacement which doesn't break the bank.

    Huggles for Mr Borrow-my-Doggie..
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